Searching For Ahimsa

Stephen,
Your writing is excellent, and this is a fine story. I like the beginning with the younger Simon and that comical T. Rex. The remainder of the chapter soars as well, from the poignant parting with his father, to the funny image of Elmer Fudd with glasses. :-)

The introduction of Kevin in chapter two underscores the seriousness of this story, and it flows well from there.

Nice work and I'm backing.
Mark

Hi Stephen

Short, vivid scenes flick between locations and characters, creating an almost cinematic effect. At first I wondered where the hell this is going, but it starts to come together and I believe you will live up to your averment that a story must have a beginning, middle and end, with which I wholeheartedly agree. On my shelf for further reading.

i congratulate you on having the courage to build a novel around such a powerful and thought provoking subject matter.

the pitch is spot on-just enough to set the scene, gives none of the story away and intrigues greatly.

love the way you've shown us simon's mindset-a man who would sooner dream of good times and fond memories, who you then snap back into the cold reality of his apparent pre-determined path.

the contrast of kevin, a man who dreams of power, is a perfect contrast.

C1 + c2 compliment the pitch perfectly and i look forward to seeing where it goes.

definately gets shelved on what i've read so far-TJ

Not a lot to say really. The writing is excellent, the dialogue superb, pace constant and gripping, and the structure great. Beautiful, really. Spend the weekend on my shelf

Dear Stephen,
This is so moving. It's well written and it held my attention.
I only managed to read the first chapter but I like the way you're showing us Simon and Kevin an their respective lives.
I wish so much a LOT of books on this site were published so I could read them comfortably, instead of looking at a screen......this is one of those books.
I wish you all the best with this.
I will place it on my shelf as soon as I can (placed books on there only yesterday and want them to stay for at least a day! But you will go on the shelf. This is good).
Thank you for letting us read it.
Take care,
Annia ;-)

Hello Stephen
I congratulate you for writing from your heart, this powerful story... I felt your emotions and the scenes at the beginning were truly heartwarming, I must admit, you totally got me, I shed a few tears..

I can relate to the accents, the dialect, the locations.. your descriptive characters were spot on, your uncle and aunts... all authentic and genuine... The old-fashioned views from the elders, as you tried to voice your opinion, your new adult world opinion, of course it was shot down and you were advised to be quiet...

The writing is excellent... articulated well and each chapter flows nicely...

I am sure your publishing day is near, and I will be the first to "pick it up"...

Highly starred!

Good Luck and thanks for speaking freely and openly about these " unspoken issues"...

FC

Hello Stephen , I was very interested to read about Northern Ireland from a domestic standpoint , at the cessation of the Troubles , although presumably you would agree that the word 'cessation' is moot .We have had a great deal of Northern Irish poetry , but apart from Brian Moore , not much fiction that I personally am aware of set in Ulster . I think this could be a very fertile field , the period of the Troubles or just after , viewed in retrospect . The shape of the T Rex is very effective and overall an interesting picture of a middle-class Northern Irish world is created. Just a question - is it true that middle-class Northern Ireland is integrated? Would you have the time to take a look at my novel 'A Buccaneer' , which is set amongst Pirates in the 17th century , with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

HI STEPHEN 'SEARCHING FOR AHIMSIT'

excellent story and turning out to be a great historical and political read.. i found this to be a very compelling read and wanting to know more about the happenings up in northern Ireland at that time, its researched to a teel as it moves along..Dialogue is indeed quiit humourous in parts, and the accent comes across well .
backed with pleasure
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please back comment mine if time, its about a child growing up in Dublin in the 40s, thanks

I'm well into this Stephen, great stuff. I'll be back with a more in depth comment when I've read a bit more. On my shelf for a while :)

Stephen,
Searching For Ahimsa has such vivid descriptions which makes the prose mesmerizing. Historical fiction is my favorite genre as there is so much about it which enriches the reader. I especially like the setting in Belfast, Northern Ireland as it's where the Titanic was built and Ireland has such a lovely countryside. Backed with pleasure.

Hi Stephen, there's not a lot I can add to your many comments but I started reading this a while ago and I have returned several times. I just finished it. Really excellent. writing. It deserves success.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

A dynamic, thought provoking historical enriched with striking imagery and intense narrative. Atmospheric. Packed with emotion. Powerful dialogue. Well conceived. Clever wit. Well written. An addictive read. Backed.

Great story seeing two sides of the the divide in Northern Ireland. Simon comes home for his father's funeral, and Kevin settles down with a new job and a fresh start.
The political landscape from both camps, seems confused at the time of the peace process, because the full in your face nationalism on one side is tempered by the revelations, that the nationalists enjoyed the benifits on offer, while having to live in the enemies camp.
Contradictory attitudes arise, and I want to read more, so Searching for Ahimsa is going on my shelve.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

Hi Stephen this was for me an impressive read and beautifully written. Loved the seamless dialogue and the effortless way you took us geographically from one side of the world to the other. Some very serious undertones make this a novel to be reckoned with.

Richard

I'm only half way through the first chapter, but I know I want to read more of this.

Your strong command of the English Language coupled with your highly descriptive writing style makes your finely crafted novel a pleasure to read. Your work is well paced and well written. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is solid. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Stephen,

Searching for Ahimsa - Apt title, crisp introduction, and I felt for the characters and was captured by the writing. It takes great skill to portray a slice of recent history in such a vivid way. Congratulations.

Backed, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

This is very good. You move quickly through both plot and scene holding the reader's attention. Even better, you made this troublesome time more immediate to me, and brought me further into hte story with your rich characterisation.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Stephen,
What wonderful storytellers the Irish are, and what wonderful stories they have to tell. I love this. In the grand tradition of Trinity you tell of the Troubles, which seem to never end. I love your strong characters: Simon and Kevn. I love the story what brings them together, but especially I love the metaphors, the similes, just your language, from the the Rex Tree (we had one in rural western Pennsylvania which we too used as a marker for home), to Elmer Fudd's glasses to comparing fiction to the grapes between the cheese courses. And, of course, there is your great line which I may steal: 'He hid in other people's lives.' Stephen, I'm a huge fan--I hope I can watch your star rise to the top of the Best Seller Lists. Please take a look at Summer Rose. I'd love a comment from someone as gifted as you. If you have any nits, I missed them all because I just kept reading.
Caroline/ KC Hart
Summer Rose

Dear Stephen, I love that I wasn't there during this revolt - California is a good place to be - my whole life (memoir). :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch - very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "commenting & backing" your book to help it move up the charts. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment & back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now & 6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)

SEARCHING FOR AHIMSA
I don’t know much about Irish politics so reading this book was like walking into another world for me. You have good characters in both Kevin and Simon; they’re good contrasts to each other. Your writing style is another strength. You have a lot of background that needs to be explained here to orient your reader but you’ve skillfully avoided dumping that; just give the right amount needed and then move on into the story. Well done. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

It's great to read something that has meaning and history. Your characters are believable and your writing style absorbed me. I was very surprised to enjoy this, but I did!
BACKED with pleasure.
Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

The characterisation and setting of scene are masterly. Add these to a dramatic and emotive point in history and you have a wonderful book. Backed. lynn

Like you, I do a lot of reading and like you, sometimes I just crave a story that has a beginning, middle and an end, or as I'd say it, a story for a story's sake, nothing more, and without pretension. Sometimes I think if I read one more blurb about a book being "ultimately a tale of redemption" I think I'll scream.

It's just unfortunate that so many commercial books tend to be so poorly written. I don't think a literary novel is an excuse for a boring read nor do I think it's acceptable for a page-turner to be badly written. I don't see an excuse for either and I wonder why the publishing world does.

So, your book. I think you've got an absolute ripper of an idea for loads of reasons. For those of us in the rest of the world, when major conflicts like "the troubles" or Apartheid come to an end, we seldom get to hear much more, at least from the mainstream media, about what happens next, which is a great shame in many ways, as so often we've come to care for the people affected by those conflicts and what they're going through. Many of us would like to know what becomes of them.

I like your writing very much. I'd describe it as gentle, in that allows plenty of room for the reader's imagination to find a place in the story. And by the way, I enjoyed your bad taste jokes in chapter four about airport and aviation safety. For reasons I'm not sure of, I particularly liked the line in chapter one about the clear Irish rain washing over the windscreen. I really don't know why I like it as much as I do, other than for some reason it presents a startling image.

Good luck with your book and your career. I'll be backing this as soon as I have a free space on my bookshelf. All the best.

Strong imagery in the opening narrative and the backdrop feels like it will provide an emotional and story-rich world. Well written with strong characters and dialogue - a first chapter that promises much.

'Bono had mutated into some kind of a wedding singer gone arse'. Utter classic. This is just excellent writing. Dealing with a difficult history in the way you, is just inspriring. Your prose is utterly accessible and both Simon and Kevin have such seperate identities and characters. I loved the opening with the Trex tree, btw. I am dleighted to back this.
Carl
The Time hunters

HI Stephen,

I had your book on my list for a while and finally had the chance to read it. I'm glad I did. I only read a couple of chapters, but I knew I had to leave a comment. This really is a piece of excellent work. I don't know why you aren't up there on the Ed's list, but I'm happy to help you get there. Backed.

Tracy

Searching for Ahimsa

This is an immense book. The structure keeps this moving along so well.
Your character balance is at times brilliant. Absolutely great narrative, great characters, great book. – Good luck (although I don’t think you need it!)

Searching For Ahimsa
Stephen McCarthy

Irish politics is a fascinating subject. Can't say that I'm familiar enough with your historical background to comment on this as I'm no historian, but the storyline from your pitches, and what I've read so far make me want to say that this is a page turner which has real depth. "Elmer and the good Reverend wear similar glasses. That's why he sprang to mind," grinned James. The humour in this is wonderful. I love the dialogue, and the many "Ayes" you use - I live in the midst of Caribbean dialogue and dialects so yours with its noticeable difference is a real treat. I've had a Scottish friend visit some time ago, and her "Ayes" were also very numerous so I think that is one thing Ireland and Scotland must have in common (!). Anyway, I think your prologue was informative and a good one which helped put your story into perspective for me, and your chapter one was filled with images, sounds through excellent use of language and I am happy to say, despite some of the more serious undertones, this happily brought on quite a few giggles which made this very special indeed. Hope you find a publisher for this excellent book.
Zan

You have done a fine job introducing characters that we immediately care about. Simon's homecoming is how most homecomings are...interspersed with memories and a rush of feelings, set against the backdrop of your childhood places and spaces. Your imagery and choice of details for this car ride and homecoming are really good. The dialogue between characters gives us instant insight into their relationship. Kevin's introductory chapter was perhaps not as emotionally evocative as Simon's, but interesting nonetheless. You leave the reader interested as to how and why the lives of these two disparate characters will or won't intersect. Very well written!

Having read several chapters I get the impression this book is entertaining but serious. I like the wide scope - sketches of life abroad balance the Irish scenes and it is reassuring somehow to know these characters have travelled . The opening scene, as others have commented, is particularly strong --- perhaps this is because its the kind of scene many of us can identify with, no matter what our background. But others like the Eiredisney scene are also strong, though in a less visual way: here the emphasis is on the dialogue.

Backed
Luk7
Pixellated

This is such a good book, it's a mystery to me why it isn't already published; and even more, why it isn't far further up the list. They tell us no-one's interested in reading about Belfast and its troubles any more, and I have to say my own experience backs that up. But if that's the reason, it seems very unfair. Your writing is so good. I can hear the authentic, accurate Irish voice in every sentence and phrase. You have beautifully drawn characters whom we can relate to at once, you have an interesting plot, and your humour, laid back and very Irish in tone, springs out from every page. The last line of your first chapter, for instance, 'Aye, well, he should've,' is simply brilliant. This is a book I would buy and read with great pleasure. Simon is someone we can really like. As he stood beside his father's coffin, and, ...'talked to him then without pause...told of the world he had seen,' we don't know whether to laugh or cry. And we do both, in fact. 'He felt his future being bolted about him like a suit of armour,' is another great phrase, conveying so much about life in the province. Very enthusiastically backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Dear Stephen, I love literary fiction. :) Your prologue was good, to prepare me for your book. :) I like that you gave the definition of Ahimsa before anything else - that was excellent. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

Hi Stephen,

Based on your first chapter, your work has the feel of a modern political saga with important insights into the late 90s in N. Ireland (i.e. it's not just a tale but has real purpose as historical fiction). I'm interested in Simon's future, his take on republicanism. I want him to enter politiics. His Uncle James works as a wisened adjunct and I like their relationship. You catch your rhythm after Simon's arrives at his dead father's house and the rest of the chapter works well. It seems to me Simon isn't quite so shy after all and the looney tunes analogy works as an intro to the N. Ireland quagmire.

I agree with some of the other comments that the very beginning of the chapter creates confusion (especiallly the jump from the 1st to second paragraph). The transition from past to present and past again needs to be a bit smoother. I don't think it would take much to modify this (even for example simply italicizing the Australia scenes), but a few changes there would help ease us into the narrative. Also, don't be afraid of pronoun use! I saw one paragraph where 'house' was repeated numerous times (a crime we're all guilty of). But again these things are easy to remedy. In the end, I strongly believe this is a story that should be told (and read and published)
Backed!
Jared
In Union Swift Rupture

Stephen, I've looked at your first two chapters. I love the mix of narration and dialogue. Good work. Only nit is with the word "goaded" in the second chapter. It can mean to prick or to encourage. Maybe you should use another term to better convey what you mean.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Stephen
I felt the opening meandered a bit between the initial memory, the Australian flashback, and the present... it's all there but needs some tightening. After that, consider introducing some conflict ... Simon getting a shoe-in to the MP job is merely rehearsing facts, but in the initial scenes, the reader wants conflict.. not happy reminiscences. For example, his father might say, "I don't want to see that boy." Now we have conflict, and we side with Simon because he should see his father...
The same goes for Ch 2 (Hong Kong).
I feel the whole thing is operating on a lower vibrational energy than possible... The writing is excellent.
Shelved and will read more. Reminds me of Brian Moore.
Frank

Stephen,
This is well written and interesting - shelved

I particularly Simon standing over his father's body and the later disney analogy. This seemed very real and grounded as I read it. I did find the transition to the memory in Australia near the beginning of #1 was a little confusing, especially mixed with the other memories. But everything else read fine.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

This is really excellent writing, absorbing, realistic and subtle. At the end of this chapter I've certainly bonded with Simon. I'd like to read more, but I have no time. Backed with pleasure.
BADD

Ireland and Irish politics have always interested me. I know a fair amount of people from Ireland, and Northern Ireland for that matter. There are many a stories that have been passed along to me and I am always amazed and disturbed by what people go through. First and foremost, I am telling you this because I wanted you to know what drew me to your book, and secondly because I ramble and need to be kicked in the arse to get back on track. . I am an avid reader and I love books that center around the past. I love how this begins. You give us Simon, youthful and with a fond memory. The parting of him and his father and back to more fond memories. This is an emotional rollercoster and you really write emotion well.
I love how different Kevin is from Simon.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

This is a great read that I intend popping back to read more when time isn't so tight!!

Good luck with it.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Hi Stephen,

I'm here for my return read. While I'm not a big fan of historic fiction, my time on Authonomy has introduced me to many stories that are fast converting me - yours included.

I connected with Simon immediately, thanks to the lovely tidbit about the tree. Kevin didn't hook me until the bit about his feet being cold, climbing into bed - that's the moment he became real for me. I'm impressed by how you manage to impart accents in your characters voices without resorting to phonetic spelling - I could hear the lilt in my head. I was only able to read the first two chapters, but I couldn't find a single niggle or helpful suggestion. Already on my shelf.

~Traci
Tangled Web

Stephen
I am so sorry for not posting these notes sooner - shame on me! Things can get a little hectic on authonomy and while I would never ignore returning a read, I seem to have missed your book somehow. Anyway, enough of that. You’ve waited too long for this already…
Pitch: I like it! But I would suggest you consider dropping the first paragraph of the long pitch. The second seems like a much better start to me.
While I think on, please note that I made notes to try to help in any way I can but that doesn’t mean they are correct so feel free to ignore any and all.
Here’s another point. As a fan of ‘arrive late, leave early’ I’m going to repeat what I said about your pitch. For me this would be a much more powerful opening if you started with the paragraph: ‘The Maze prison…’ wow! now, that’s a memorable opening. Just a thought. And while we’re here, another something for you – count the number of times you use the word ‘the’ in this paragraph. To my ear it is a little repetitive and dropping the odd ‘the’ here and there and/or rephrasing would strengthen you excellent writing, giving it an even more polished feel.
All these things said, it is clear from very early on that you are an accomplished writer. This is clean, slick prose with a great voice, spinning an intriguing yarn. Your characters are well rounded and they feel real, and you have obviously crafted this story a lot. I think you are at the brink of excellence with this, and I am happy to support it by shelving.
Very best wishes
David
Green Ore

THe subject matter alone puts you on my shelf. you seem to have a firm grasp on the situation and I applaud you. Shelved.

Hi Stephen!

Normally literary fiction is not my cup of tea, but I can tell from your writing that you've got something special here. Kevin and Simon, while very uniquely different characters, are both individually compelling and well drawn. Your premise and plot show a lot of promise, and I'm happy to try to help this along. Backed with my best wishes for you!

Kim
Invisible Justice

If you need a critical comment let me know; if not, then enjoy the backing!

I could use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC Cavazos
The Obergemau File

Stephen, I'm surprised I haven't read this before but very glad I've found it now. Once again (happens a lot here) I find myself wishing I could read this properly, in book form, rather on screen. It's a big subject, made human with great characters. In particular, I love your dialogue - you really do catch the nuances of the way people speak. Simon - his future being bolted around him - such an apt image. The contrast between the freedom of Australia and the 'armour' of Ireland is so graphic it almost shocks. How a life can change in seconds.
I felt our introduction to Kevin was more stilted - but then maybe that matches his character. Maybe a little too much backhistory up front in Chapter Two but really that was the only thing that snagged me in the three chapters I read before my eyes started watering (have a nasty bout of flu right now).
Anyhow, I love this and will back it instantly. My shelf is moving a lot right now as I am stumbling around trying to keep from sliding down the charts, so sadly it won't stay up too long - but hope my backing helps a little.

Jane
WALKER

Well written and entertaining. It moves as at a good pace and in several spots it put a smile on my face. As I start this, it seems different than what the blurb promises - so I guess I have to read more. Well done.

This is very well-written, and has a clear and unambiguous structure. Your subject-matter is demanding, but your handle it with confidence and clarity. You characters are very well established and your descriptions give a clear idea of place and time. I have no hesitation in adding this to my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

Well, I am coming at this with an advantage; I live not far from your story's location albeit it southside. I felt comfortable with it at once and like the characters. When the press ask if your wife is supporting you and you say you dont know where she is as she left last night, that's an honest character. But does he remain so? I like it a lot Stephen. Backed. Ray Ronan HISTORIAN.

excellent story.. just too many of them! i think you've made real characters
and blended their lives and emotions into the quite gripping story. I'm
surprised the Irish publishing industry hasn't snapped this up already.
lots of luck with it...shelve...Mikey (The Free)

Great setting Stephen, and a really interesting story! I love what I have read so far and will be back for more when time allows! Gonna give you a spin on the shelf! Can't understand why this isnt higher cos the writing is great!
Simon

Stephen
Great writing! You paint beautiful pictures with your narrative and a great Irish dialect in your dialogue. I also like the way you establish the point of view in the first line or two of each chapter, a big help for the reader. Chilling scene with the father in the casket. Kevin and Simon look like solid characters and the story draws the reader along turning pages. Well done and so well edited, I couldn't find anything to suggest.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Perhaps I’ve been to too many funerals recently, but your first chapter plucked curiously at my emotions. I sighed and smiled with your characters. Your sense of place is delicately but deftly done. I’m a mug for writing with an accent.

Really liked the sudden switch of focus, incidentally, from the homely familiarity of the Tree Rex to the Maze. Clever, that.

I find myself empathizing with, and sympathetic to, Simon, so want to read on.

Thus far I like this a lot, and I’m confident to back you.

Lou
(Souvenirs)

Hi Stephen,
Thank you for such a great comment. You made my day.
I will surely fix up whatever you have said and about the Kalari thing, when you'll read the main chapter, you will realize how deadly the art actually is. So, yes, you were right. She was a little afraid.
Till now, she had always practiced against her friends or peers, in safe grounds. But now, suddenly faced with 4 drunks, she is a little afraid of hurting them. Kalari aims to kill, or at least, paralyze. She doesn't wish that fate for anyone.

If you would like to read more, please contact me!

Stephen

A great read. Prose and narration informative and pictorial....Dialogue interesting and flows well. I read chapters one and two.....

The only thing I'd suggest is that you include a prologue. 1998 ceasfire as a starting point will mean many of your readers are setting off from a position of weakness/ignorance.......I live in London, I know all about the north/south divide,....I say this because I read a book recently on Saigon, the book opened pre-supposing I knew far more than I did about the conflict......It spoiled it for me....A prologue would have helped enormously........

This would help your readers understand your characters motivation/misgivings etc.....

My view only.....Best of luck with this.... backed