Threesome

What a crushing and powerful opening line. The first chapter sees an idyllic life slowly unraveling, in a way many of us are familiar with. The story is elegantly written, an autopsy of many a relationship. Very emotional at times, but that's what good writing does. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Hi Nash
A great concept and I got totally engrossed in the early chapters. You draw the story out nicely giving just enough description without halting the flow of the story. I enjoyed reading about the different types of relationships, the experiments and how the characters reacted. A courageous idea which has turned into an excellent piece of work.
DP Walker
Five Dares

I have just read the first two chapters and have to say you have crafted something that is brilliant!
It almost feels like its written as a clinical social experiment, yet all the time these is the sense of underlying emotion, it’s almost as if the narrator his trying to hold his emotions at arms length. Think you have some fantastic witty little perception. This is an extremely good read!

You have crafted an excellent storyline exploring different types of relationships. I like your use of the first person narrative - it keeps the pace of your story flowing well and allows you to explore variopus thoughts, feelings and complex emmotions. Your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

One other comment though, you do have some typo's in your Profile.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

NASH

Love your cover, love your book. I congratulate you on your fine style of writing. Smooth and energetic.

backed
THE THIRD EYE

Very compelling. Backed with pleasure, Sana

Ingenous. Riveting. A superbly tangled story. Realistic characters. Crisp dialogue. Thought provoking, perceptive narrative. Unique storyline. Spot on storytelling. An infectous read. Backed.

12 August 2010
Threesome. Wry humour. Self--deprecatory wit. Excellent, flowing, descriptive prose. Adult theme without unnecessary eroticism. Logical development and exposition. And a facility with the English language that is enviable. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Nash Popovic: Threesome

Dear Nash,

Hmmm…I had not quite expected this read but you do effect a rather spontaneous camaraderie sounding the interest of your characters from the start. Your language flow is thoughtful yet flows smoothly and articulately, spiked with honesty perhaps in a manner to gain support from your reader.

You like to give room for your characters to grow and I can sense you bringing out the true form of your cast eventually as the story/plot thickens. This is a rather entertaining piece of read, questioning maybe depending on which angle you view it from, but in all, a read that requires a mind that is without doubt, open to the peculiar notes that relationship can sometimes drum up.

Happy to back!

Romilla
Forgetting Sally

Threesome
Backed with pleasure
Lenny Harry
(Like A dot on the horizon)

There are tongue-in-the-cheek moments in this classy writing almost from the off, 'Maria also had parents, as people sometimes do'. There are also many telling phrases that show the way some relationships work, 'They loved me because I loved them, and I loved them because they loved me', and the way some stop working, 'I thought she meant us when she said 'together''. In the wreckage, like so many others, Marko drinks the pain into remission, but only as long as the drink lasts. He recovers, but is determined to stick to his belief in open relationships, not discouraged by Maria leaving for a wedding and monogamy. Di is promising, and so is Francesca, but together... Hm, 'We are going shopping together on Saturday'...

Excellent writing, riddled with insight and wit: 'seemed to mould something in the centre that was not made of words', 'I like your front too', (a long and not for brackets story). I didn't spot any flaws or typos. I'm not so sure that the threesome is such uncharted territory, considering the number of polygynous marriages, group relationships, etc. But it does make for an interesting exploration of the dynamics between women and men, and an entertaining and challenging read ... backed.

Oh Nash,
The devil is in the details, isn't it? I read the first three or four chapters--great set up, great premise then skipped about until the end of 10. This many be way over my conventional head. They're young, shedding their parents' values, they're certainly enjoying the sex. Oh,to be so young. Where's the passion, the knock your socks off, to die for passion? The passion that holds fast during the hardships? I'm curious to see how your story ends. Does Marko set this up so he has a spare girl in case one ops out? so he's never hurt again? The story, the prose, the dialogue, the narrative, all seem so natural--you are a natural writer. I felt as if I were in Marko's head, and I suspect it is not going to end well.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

I wish I had the words to describe how good this is. All I can say is that I was drawn in from the first sentence and kept reading to the end of the chapter without blinking! Your writing style is flawless. This is already of publishable quality. Honest, raw, entertaining. Loved it. You are on my shelf, of course.

Hi Nash,
Loved this. Interesting topic but mainly just beautifully written. I'd never guess if English is not your first language. It's elegant but then there's the odd really pithy bit like the comment about the butterfly! The list of books the narrator did and did not read is a great shorthand for revealing the characters concerned.
Best wishes,
Lucy

you have a good idea here, and we work it could work. after reading the opening chapter, it shows you are skilled as a writer, taking time to tell this story and make it work ; watchlist for now...
read SEASONS...

This engages the reader from the start. You set up the background to your MCs very well, and leave the reader wanting to learn more about how this very open relationship will develop when another key character is brought into the synamic. Backed. Colin

Fascinating, thought provoking and very well written. Backed with pleasure.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

Read all eight chapters. It's an interesting topic and a subject that I wouldn't normally read. I enjoyed reading it very much. Insecurity is something everyone has to master no matter what the circumstances. I like the writing style, though sometimes the way words that were used or the way sentences were put together caught me up and I would have to reread. Overall very good. Thanks for inviting me to read.

Elisabeth Silvers
Blood on the Rocks

Well . . . . When it comes to non fiction I don;t normal;ly do deep. BUT I must say there is something quite compelling about this narrative and I long to read the rest to see what happens to francesca, Di and Marko. I do like the idea of polyamory being aired and made acceptable rather than left to the underground although the undrerground can make it rather attractive too.

It needs a good proof reading to sort out issues of spelling and inconsistencies but well worth going the whole hog - look forward to the rest.

Oh and it appears to have many personal refernces that makes it that much more interesting.

Best wishes charlie

What a fascinating pitch and deftly told. Your dialogue is very accessible and there is a nice pace to your work. You certainly throw some interesting questions into the mix and I think this could have wide appeal.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Great concept, very fucking funny at times and a smooth easy style. On my shelf. Steven Rineer

An intelligently written,witty tale of relationships...at this point it comes across as a commentary. I wanted more showing not telling, particularly concerning human emotion.
An excellent novel, none the less.
Alison Butler:)

An interesting concept and one I feel can be read on many levels and from many points of view. As I read on past the relationship with Maria to Di and Francesca I became more and more convinced I was reading about a man who's head was telling him he wanted one sort of relationship, while his heart and emotions were telling him he wanted another.
His pain at Maria's departure and the pain he felt for the lose of the twins tells me that relationship for all its experiments was, for him, nearer to a "normal" marriage than maybe he realised it was.
What he experiences next reads to me like a man on the rebound, he may believe he isn't looking for a settled relationship because he is playing the field, but the small insights into his emotional turmoil suggest otherwise.
The prose here is crisp and elegant drawing the reader into the inner feeling of the narrator. Emotion is beautifully expressed without any taint of sentiment.
Backed.

Hi Nash, This gets more and more interesting. Maria’s history and the succession of experiments leading to their buying a house and then her falling in love point to a change or decision. These are people who don’t want to make a definite decision and because they still have a relationship. A well-depicted lead-up to the threesome arrangement. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

What a crushing and powerful opening line. The first chapter sees an idyllic life slowly unraveling, in a way many of us are familiar with. The story is elegantly written, an autopsy of many a relationship. Very emotional at times, but that's what good writing does. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

What an interesting and yet provocative topic! Something that is rarely delved into yet so current. Look forward to reading more.
gl!
sadaf

AN intriguing story with a powerful voice. Charcters and diolouge are well developed and keep the pages turning. C W

'...covered in bodily fluids...' was a bit unpalatable but otherwise your writing is very clear and expressive...lots of great stuff here!
Cheers
Stewart

The writing style is very good, quick and fluent. Very easy to read and polished.

The story of Marko is interesting with plenty of ups and downs. My only concern would be this subject matter tends to be treated in a very stereotypical way, they think they can make it work, turns out they can't. I don't think I've ever come across a story of this type that didn't follow that pattern, including those on this site. That's not to say yours will too, just pointing out my personal proclivities. So while i enjoyed the writing, the story so far (I read the first three chapters) hasn't engrossed me and I'm not particularly hooked by where it appears to be headed.

Overall a very well written piece. Backed.

You already have a following so I will simply add well done! Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

There is a curious blend of what feels like biography coupled with a romantic style (though not the sugary sweet variety.) It's also interesting how the writing also wraps the reader up into the story's world, and although I think the pitch could be stronger (taking out the first two sentences, and just let the title speak for itself) I found what was presented here to be very professionally written and presented. Not only that, but it reads smoothly as well, which is usually a sign that this isn't a first draft, but something which has been worked on for a little bit.

Read and backed with pleasure. Many thanks.

Now on chapter two. I see what you mean -- it isn't whimsical. But the shifts in perspective -- light, ironic, bitter, self-analytic, honest, in denial -- are very nicely handled. Subtle and believable. Will read on --

Wei

A lot of people will like it, Nash. Hope it gets published...

This is such an intriguing story with such a wonderful voice that is easy to read. It makes me want to keep reading to find out what happens and what turns it takes. Good luck!

I love this sort of "once upon a time" fairytale voice about the tangles of postmodern love. Backed!

Wei (Kunlun)

I like your cover art - it describes the book very well which is important. Your pitch is good too. Overall makes the reader want to continue on. Not my subject, but I will back the writing.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe
Would you please take a look at my book, MEMORIES OF GLORY? I would greatly appreciate your support.

Hi Nash
A great concept and I got totally engrossed in the early chapters. You draw the story out nicely giving just enough description without halting the flow of the story. I enjoyed reading about the different types of relationships, the experiments and how the characters reacted. A courageous idea which has turned into an excellent piece of work.
DP Walker
Five Dares

I have just read the first two chapters and have to say you have crafted something that is brilliant!
It almost feels like its written as a clinical social experiment, yet all the time these is the sense of underlying emotion, it’s almost as if the narrator his trying to hold his emotions at arms length. Think you have some fantastic witty little perception. This is an extremely good read!

Hi Nash,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. The pace of your book suits me to a tee, good and fast. My attention span is shockingly short. See Ya!

How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Intriguing pitch which leads to a unique, introspective at times, entertaining read. Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

Welcome aboard, Nash. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch does not display the main conflict. The long pitch needs to be reduced to one succinct question instead of several to pique your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

You are exploring the idea, and I agree, it's not lascivious. It's believable with appropriate doubts on the part of the narrator. I don't know where you'll go with this but provided you stick to due heart searching of behaviours, it'llprobably be fine. Lots of typos, missed words, a chapter labelled Colse instead of Close and so on, so I guess you are trying this out on the site before fully editing.
Backed for bravery and proper attention to outcomes
Lara
Good for Him

Very interesting questions, I have asked myself that from time to time. Backed Best Wishes


NJ Capaldi
Crescent Heart

This is an intense, engaging and enjoyable read. With romance there's a chance of the narrative falling down in pace, but you have not slipped into that trap, keeping it fast-paced and exciting throughout.

Great work, and backed with pleasure.

Abi xxx

Very interesting! The story comes across with ease. You waste no time the pace is fast, I particularly like that.
Well written with lots of dialogue. I am curious where you will take it after ch 7.
Good Luck!
I backed
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Dear Nash,
wekk the first thing I always like to comment on is the book cover sheer genius in your case, loved it. your short pitch is great and just a suggestion to put a para in the long one. Someone gave me the advice and it really worked for me. This is the first read your potential publisher may have of your book, and your book is worth the read. Very well crafted with characters still in my head CONGRATS and BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
I would love you to review my book, different genre but like me cross over and comment on the craft or skill . and please comment and if you feel back my work.
again thank you for a good read best of luck
Denise
The Letter

You have crafted an excellent storyline exploring different types of relationships. I like your use of the first person narrative - it keeps the pace of your story flowing well and allows you to explore variopus thoughts, feelings and complex emmotions. Your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

One other comment though, you do have some typo's in your Profile.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

NASH

Love your cover, love your book. I congratulate you on your fine style of writing. Smooth and energetic.

backed
THE THIRD EYE

A very different start to a love story of sorts. I liked the first chapter and on that I am backing the story in the hope that I read more soon. What I have read is good, perhaps when I get into it further I will talk again.
Take a look at my book, 'Three Stayed Home' a WW2 adventure and love story, in need of a little help. JohnJ

Nash,

Saw your forum post and thought I'd check out your work.

First nit I stumbled on 'Maria's carrier blossomed'--I'm guessing that should career.

Great first chapter though. The deceptively simple style reminds me a little of Nick Hornby.

Chapter two deals with depression well--I know, I've been there--but the para in which the dog is introduced, was a little confusing for me--just the sentence about the dogs, which seemed to break the flow.

Chapter three, works well: I like the moment where Marko waits not knowing what to do. I've been there too.

Then chapter four, I feel I would have liked to see more of this scene, rather than have it reported. Nice touch with the cigarettes at the end. Oh, and I notice in this chapter that some of the dialogue was a little stilted, partly due to a lack of contractions (which would be okay for the Yugo Marko, but for his Anglo girlfriends seems unnatural).


Chapter five ends on a nice note, and that's where I stop.

Backed with pleasure.

Interesting story line. It's a good story, but reads like a clinician's detailed report. It needs more feeling, more passion, life.
This could really be a great book with just a little more umph in it.

Good luck!

It's an interesting story so far, and that's most of the battle. You did an excellent job of thoroughly summing up the relationship between Maria and Marko, yet you maintained the integrity of the story in a very complete way. I didn't feel like I was missing anything and I wasn't lost, so, well done.

You have some grammatical issues, but they're easy enough to fix. Paragraph 9, sentence 1: "carrier" is spelled "career." Fourth paragraph from the bottom, swimming pull is spelled "swimming pool." There's also a few fragment sentences that interrupt the flow of the reading, although it does have a male feel to the thoughts of your MC.
I'm placing this on my shelf; it was worth reading and I'll be sure to come back and read more.

There is a dry wit in your writing that you don't refer to in your tags: I don't think tragicomic covers the drollery.
"They struggled at first, and in the process had two children" is a case in point.

I'm pushed for time just now but I'm BACKING you on your first chapter and a half which herald some excellent writing. I look forward to some spare time when I can give you more detailed responses. Good luck for now. Cheers.

Really greatful for your comment. Any suggestions for tags (when you find time)?

Dear Nash, I love that you broach this subject - I have a friend from China whose dad has 2 wives - one is favored & the other feels badly - just like in Hannah in the Bible. Touchy subject in United States - you've done well in approaching it. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

Hi Susie,

What an amazing talent spotter you are, Congratulations on being number 1! Will check on your memoir as soon as possible. Best wishes



This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

THREESOME
This is a different than usual story. I’m so used to thinking of love affairs as something between two people, I wasn’t sure I was going to like this. But I do. It’s an interesting account as to how the triangle came to be. If I had a suggestion it would be to look at dialogue. You never use contractions (do not, not don’t; have not, not haven’t) so your dialogue reads as a little stilted. Either way, this is a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Thanks Burgio for your comment, well appriciated. I thought I used contraction all the time (checked the first two chapters). Can you please give me an example, just to make sure that I got you right?