By the Night

Not many people can pull off a scenery opening well, but you've done so wonderfully! you put an original spin on a classic theme, and that is something I can appreciate! This YA horror is sure to do well with it's target audience. It's well written and has a wonderful pace. A nicely polished piece. I love how you show the wolves talking, and Luna is a wonderful character. Look into the punctuation in that area though.
Backed :)

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Dear A. Isabel,
wow what an amazing short and long pitch, just amazing. I just had to start reading your book, because of your pitch. This is a very fast exciting read, I must admit when I read of people changing into wolves I thought oh no not twig light again please, but you surprised me greatly this is a well crafted book and nothing like the series not to mention ha ha ha . This is not my genre and I am so excited at the talent that I am finding in this one.
BACKED by me for sure.
I would be so happy if your would cross over to my genre ( something I did to find your book) review my book COMMENT and if you feel, back it. this way I may improve as a writer.
BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOOK
Denise

This is a fine example of the genre with enough original touches to please. Shapechanger stories are very popular and you have some very intriguing MCs in Luna and her family. description is very good, evocative and sets the scenes beautifully. This is quite poetic in places despite the often grisly nature of the action.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

I LOVE this book! It's so great! It is an excellent take on the werewolf mythology as it might actually be in reality if werewolves did exist and reading this beautiful descriptive work makes me very much a believer!! I've read the full book of course, as well as a majority of the sequel, and can truly vouch for the literary artistry that AmmyBelle has in her writing! Great work friend!
~Lauren~

Well done, Isabel. This is a very entertaining story. You have a polished writing style that is very accessible to the reader, and your opening is terrific. I wish you great success with this. Backed with pleasure

DK WILLIS
THE THIEF ON THE CROSS

Hi A, I enjoyed this but only had time to read your opening chapter.
In your opening you say that the light is streaming down the mountainside, but this only happens in the morning. In the evening the light recedes from the valleys until only the high mountain peaks are lit.
A tall pretty woman ( over use of adjectives)
Pashmina is the usual spelling
The attack is exciting and then the ebony haired woman (we don't know her name) recognises one of the raiders.
She turns into a wolf and kills him before dying herself with prayers for her son.
Very nice work, backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi A, great evocation of place. fine pace. on my shelf.
i read your first 3 chapters. no micro quibbles at all. i have a macro thought that may strike a chord. if not, pls ignore. ;)

i really get into the story at the start of ch 2 (your ch 1), when we are intoduced to the protagonists. would it make narrative sense to move some of that to the prologue?

very best, andy

Amy, I like the level of detail in your prologue. Good job.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

A little shapeshifting can do wonders, I guess. "You all should get your clothes and go to the Mothers . . . we have school tomorrow." Youth and naked flesh in the forest. I'll be back to read more to find out why this large can transform into wolves so easily. Nice fantasy with a sexy flavor and dark undertone. Backed for now.

A vibrant shapecharger story with well developed characters. Impecable attention to detail. Arresting settings. Effective dialogue. Awesome world building. Splendid writing. Backed.

You have written a great opening. It made me think of watching the beginning of an epic film - this is owing to your wonderful descriptions.

Tracy Buchanan
The Candyfloss Room

Excellent. Your imagery is outstanding. Excellent writing skill. Have to back it with pleasure.

Suz

Love it, love it a lot. It reminded me of some of the movies I've seen, like 'The Village' This story is going far as far as the top and more. In fact I see a movie in this. Good luck with your writing and God Bless.
Please spare a thought for my book if you can. Backed by me.
Cheers, 'The Outrage'

Ouch. Very oddly frightening. Congrats!

I loved your opening paragraph. Beautiful. You havve a wonderful descriptive style and you are a wonderful story teller. Just a bit reminded me of La Luna by Isabela Allende. Mainly because of the name but a totally different tale to the one you tell. Loved it! Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

By the Night

A. Isabel Pereira

Children of the forest running wild in the height of night makes me think of freedom. Your idea of two-spirited people who can transform at will into wolves is interesting. There was a film I saw with that idea which was quite interesting because the basis of the transformation from man to wolf was not linked to the usual werewolf tale, but connected to the mystical beliefs/practices of a Native American tribe - can't now remember the name of the film, although quite possibly it might have been an episode of the X-Files or some such. And sending a prayer heavenward to the Goddess, not God, is also interesting. Your writing contains some mythological and folkloric elements which I am very curious about - don't have time to read enough now to explore further but I hope the basis of the shapeshifting ability makes this stand out from other werewolf tales on here. Anyway, you have quite an imagination and I hope your target YA readership will find this interesting. I did really and wish you best of luck with it.

Not many people can pull off a scenery opening well, but you've done so wonderfully! you put an original spin on a classic theme, and that is something I can appreciate! This YA horror is sure to do well with it's target audience. It's well written and has a wonderful pace. A nicely polished piece. I love how you show the wolves talking, and Luna is a wonderful character. Look into the punctuation in that area though.
Backed :)

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

I've just read the first chapter of your work and I have to say I enjoyed it more than I thought, there seemed a harder edge to this world than is often the case for similar pieces. I like the way you write, the flow of your words but I was a little unclear as to the setting of the hamlet, time an place etc. I really like the scene setting with the children playing and the old couple but I wonder if you needed the foreshadowing "unaware of the strange tilt to the earth that would now consumer their world" "unaware of the intruders that flitted about the edges of the forest..." I found it pulled me out of the world slightly, away from the POV of the characters. Perhaps just letting it happen as they are aware would be more dramatic. Also on a technical point I wonder if you could explain more about the attackers as I am curious as to their tactics, for example, having snipers on the perimeter to contain any who try to escape as real military and law-enforcement agencies do. Hope some of this helps and I would love to talk more as I read on. Backed.
Carl - Between Darkness and Wonder

Strong opening, pretty action-packed. It reads well and moves at a quick pace. Backed.

What a tense, action filled first chapter. It is a tremendous hook, and had me reading on. The attack actually left me feeling sorry for the werewolf group, which I'm sure was the intent. Smooth writing for the most part, but could do with a minor edit. Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

What a tense, action filled first chapter. It is a tremendous hook, and had me reading on. The attack actually left me feeling sorry for the werewolf group, which I'm sure was the intent. Smooth writing for the most part, but could do with a minor edit. Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Dear Isabel,
This is dramatic and beautiful language. The people move fluidly from what the reader thinks is human into wolf-like creatures, but keep their human emotions. The writing that accomplished the transformation is really stunning. Well done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Please excuse the following message if I’ve already sent it to you. Sometimes I get confused! Thanks.

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

By the Night is a truly terrifying page-turner which draws the reader in from the very beginning. Backed.

A bloody and emotional start to the story as the endless war is replayed between the normal and the abnormal, the known and the other, friend against friend across the divide, 'You're a monster'. Away from the slaughter, a group of teenagers strip beneath the full moon. Stunning description of watching the morphing into wolf form, then the same again, but from the inside, and they run wild. But one is hit by gunfire. Not the killers though, just a farmer. Elsewhere, the mothers wait for their offspring to arrive, worried, but not yet aware of the terror awaiting...

Some very vivid writing, Isabel: 'tore the veil of silence', 'the darkness that called to her was so seductive', 'body curling towards the heavens as if magnetically pulled'. It does need some editing though (suggestions below). This is a werewolf story with a twist: these are in packs, in villages; they are peaceful and joyful, but the world won't let them be ... they are monsters, and must either fight or die ... backed.

Possible nits: The word 'little' appears a lot in the second paragraph. 'there were elderly couple[s]'. ''the fluffy edges of her [the old woman's] white-tipped hair', we need to know who 'her' is. 'black[-]clad'. 'hoping her son was okay [safe]', the word 'okay' is too ubiquitous. 'driving her fast [past?] the pain'. 'then she was one [on] him'. 'the night around ... buzzing around'. 'her bare toes [feet] ... gaps in her toes. She scrunched her toes [them]'. 'Her bones singed [sang]'. 'a pregnant pause', cliché? 'her need for running [to] consume her'.

Just a word of advice on editing your chapters on authonomy, in case you haven't already: use UPDATE to load the edited chapters. Don't use DELETE and then reload as this can cause problems.

A.Isabel

This is a very good read and I loved the way your descriptive writing adds to the story without being excessive. The prologue was fast paced and set the scene well, complementing the short and long pitches. My only thought...and takes this as you will as I'm only a wanna be writer...is the that the opening paragraph feels...clunky. You describe the colours lazily receding, and then they're streaming downwards. That's all I could find wrong, the rest is very good and the climax brilliant.

DJ-The Lost Cactus

You set the tone and mood well with the proper amount of foreshadowing for your story in the Prologue. Your storyline is captivating, shapechangers, leaving the reader wanting to read more in order to find out what is going on and what will happen next. Your drescriptive and imaginative writing ensures that your fantasy will appeal to the YA audience. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi A. Isabel,

This is a great story for teenagers and young adults. Your imagination is boundless. I really enjoyed the first two chapters thus far. Good luck and Best Wishes.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Hi A., Much eerie atmosphere and good descriptive writing. The fear of the villagers in the first chapter contrasts with the transformation of the pack in the second. It’s stunning and horrifying. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

You have a knack for drawing the reader straight into the story and compelling them to keep reading. backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

You have a lot of people giving you praise and not constructive criticism as I am out of the game now, I have decided to give people genuine feedback in the hope that other people will see my comment and do the same!! I doubt it though.
Your short pitch jarred with me,' the height of night' never heard that before but thena lot of people say it's all right so just ignore me.

I only had time for the prologue, but can tell that your writing is good. But sometimes there are a few passive sentences in there. Be careful of using the 'was' word, excessive use of 'ly' words and ing words. Also watch out for 'seemed to', again be positive with your descriptions.

Hope this helps, good luck with the site and your future writing career.
Melxx

I agree that your pitch is very good. I have read many vampire/werewolf stories online but it's nice that there's a slight twist to yours, makes it more interesting. I like how you bring the werewolf characters in at the first chapter.

Well-done and happily backed
Denise

Would you mind having a look at my book, "Road to Redemption: From Cop's Daughter to Convicted Felon?"

Your writing has something that is hard to describe and I think, impossible to teach: there is a rhythm to your sentences that just sounds good. You know how to construct sentences, how to put them beside each other so that they work together, so that they flow. You have a good use of vocabulary, which makes the writing interesting and bright, and your descriptions are vivid and memorable. In the second paragraph, "couple" should be "couples," and I don't think I'd duplicate that exact phrase in the third paragraph. Instead of using "elderly couple" again, put something like, one of these aging pairs, something different. And the one issue I had with your writing is that you use too many adjectives. You don't have to describe everything all the time; it slows the pace a bit. Much better to pick and choose your images, because readers can only digest so much at a time. For example, in the fourth paragraph, you could omit "bright," "generous," and "thundering." But you're a talented writer, with a good start in this story. Keep editing, keep reading aloud. Great job.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Sharp pitch that sells the story without spoiling it. Clever twist on the werewolf legend, making it seem absolutely normal. Battle lines are drawn, so let;s see where it all will end. Brilliant.

I have to say, this is awesome! You took something that's almost been overdone recently and added a new twist to it and surprised the heck out of me! I think you've got a strong story here, the premise is so good and your characters are exciting and interesting. There wasn't anything I didn't like in here. It's fast moving and kept me involved from the very beginning. You made me feel the suspense, you've done a nice job with this.

Missy

Think your opening is fantastic – everything peaceful and then you drop in the line. ‘It was the elderly couple that were first targeted’ and you know it’s not good!!!
You have a great story developing, love the bit about going to school tomorrow after being shot. I have really enjoyed what I have read – great story. – Good luck!

Hi Isabel
First of all, I really liked your cover and it would make me pick up the book in a store. It conveys the mood of the story nicely. The writing is sharply visual and enabled me to feel part of the story. My only point would be that sometimes there was too much description in the prologue and early chapters and this halted the flow of the plot somewhat. However I like what you've done and overall think this is a great read.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Welcome aboard, Isabel. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. With you long pitch, drop the dialogue and your pitch will be better. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

BY THE NIGHT
This is an interesting story: people turn into wolves. The opening prologue is dramatic; really pulls your reader into the story. I like the way the next chapter then begins so calmly and serenely – only to lead into danger for the wolves a few minutes later. Kept me reading. I’m shelving this. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

There are 10.5 Chapters up!
Enjoy and thank you for all the comments and hints! :D

Brilliant use of metaphor and visual descriptions of the transformation - quite unnerving. The peace and beauty of the hamlet is well-established and the contentment of its characters before the attack. The death of the old woman in the tourquoise pashmena and her husband staring at her as he bends is touching and true.
You've got the writing talent, not just for description but emotion. Very best for this. Backed. lynn

Iasbel

Love your book
backed
THE THIRD SIGHT

Dear A. Isabel,
wow what an amazing short and long pitch, just amazing. I just had to start reading your book, because of your pitch. This is a very fast exciting read, I must admit when I read of people changing into wolves I thought oh no not twig light again please, but you surprised me greatly this is a well crafted book and nothing like the series not to mention ha ha ha . This is not my genre and I am so excited at the talent that I am finding in this one.
BACKED by me for sure.
I would be so happy if your would cross over to my genre ( something I did to find your book) review my book COMMENT and if you feel, back it. this way I may improve as a writer.
BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOOK
Denise

This is a fine example of the genre with enough original touches to please. Shapechanger stories are very popular and you have some very intriguing MCs in Luna and her family. description is very good, evocative and sets the scenes beautifully. This is quite poetic in places despite the often grisly nature of the action.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Dear A. Isabelle, I love your fantasy story - I love that I can't transform in a werewolf - the thought of it give me shutters. :) Great imagination & story. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

I LOVE this book! It's so great! It is an excellent take on the werewolf mythology as it might actually be in reality if werewolves did exist and reading this beautiful descriptive work makes me very much a believer!! I've read the full book of course, as well as a majority of the sequel, and can truly vouch for the literary artistry that AmmyBelle has in her writing! Great work friend!
~Lauren~

This is the first 5.5 chapters - tell me what you thinka nd thank you for reading! :)