Ellie Stanton Would Like to Thank You From the Bottom of Her Heart. No, Seriously

I liked our introduction to Ellie. Her solution to getting out of trouble with the security guard was smart and funny. She generally comes across very well and I enjoyed her as a character.

I thought the writing was very good, although there were a few typos, mainly missing punctuation around dialogue. Other then that it read very well.

I liked the dialogue, funny and snappy, although there was one part that got a biot awkward, when he mother goes on about her trying to get pregnant by the rich kid. That whole bit felt a bit forced, to much exposition and telling her what she already knew. Of course annoying mothers do tell you what you already know, but the way she did it then just felt a bit off, imo.

Overall a very entertaining read and funny. Big green bitch made me laugh. Backed.

Strong character. I kept thinking about my students. That they'd like this. And you have the complete novel here. That's good. I just might refer them to your book. I'll say more in your messages.

Benjamin Dancer

I definitely think you bring a unique voice to YA. Your Ellie is a firecracker, for sure. Your writing moves along fabulously and has a darkish humor vibe to it that I really liked. Good dialogue, loved the relationship with poor Brett. One issue: I'm into chapter 4 and I really don't like Ellie much. A problem for me since she's the MC. I mean I really am starting not to like her. I'm hoping that she's getting ready for a comeuppance because really she needs some sort of redemption. Then again, not many adults probably liked me when I was about 16 either. So it's real and believable, but it's hard to follow a character when your disdain is growing... Well written, fresh voice.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Lol, what a very rebellious girl.I think everyone of us has that inner wicked child wanting to escape, the problem is, we aren't brave enough to unleash it. I like your story, it's not like those cliche ones that we already got tired of.

The character is developed straight away, which is great. However, it was so quick that I didn't really get a chance to relate with her, or sympathise with her. I really want the chance to get to know her a lot more than her attitude etc., so I'm going to keep on reading.

Couple of typos here and there. Brilliant humour (the Harry Potter line was great) and great clarity with what you want to portray. Ellie's voice is clear and sustained.

Well done!

Esme C
'The Summoner'

First let me apologies, I backed your book after an initial read and have only just got round to commenting (been editing).

I very much like how you develop Ellie so early, the scene in the shop tells so much, then the dialogue with her mother really fleshes her out!
I have always liked character and dialogue driven storylines and from what I have read think this is developing brilliantly, just wish I had time to read more. – Good luck!

Ellie Stanton Would Like to Thank You From the Bottom of Her Heart. No, Seriously

Orry Benavides

An exciting page turner for your YA readership.

Entertaining read and Ellie is simply lovable. Backed a few days ago and well worth my backing. All the best in finding a publisher.

Hi Orry. Ellie certainly is a fruitful character. I think her character is great and you bring her to life through your writing. Definitely one for young adults. Backed and best of luck! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

Smart and fun opening chapters. Backed with best wishes,
M
- Weekend Chimney Sweep
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

Hi Orry, Wow, Ellie is trouble and yet her POV is funny and her problems seem to stem from her relationship her mother and her boyfriend's parents. I was surprised that her mother was waiting in the car when she bought the cigarettes underage - she couldn't have had her buy them since she smoked too? The school scenes caught me and her relationship with Brett is refreshing, her lack of romanticism inspiring his. Good dialogue and the poem seemed right for Brett. Where does she get enough money for her trip? More than the police will follow her adventure! Easily shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Orry,
I love the premise and the pitch. Your first couple of chapters are real belters. Excellent.
Good luck, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Very cute story so far. I like your writing and i think that it has real potential. I'll keep reading!
Backed!
Sofia (The Lost Inheritance)

Interesting. Not my genre, but I'll back it for you. Dave

Hi Orry
A great character (my daughter has the same name). The tone and use of language is perfect for the age group and I think adults will find this compelling as well. Some really great down to earth narrative makes this really easy to read.
DP Walker
Five Dares

You have created quite the sassy character in Ellie and draw an excellent portrait of a head-strong, independant teenage girl. Your use of short paragraphs and crisp, realistic dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well. Your descriptive writing style ensures that your work will have a broad appeal with the YA audience. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

15 July 2010
Ellie Stanton is a no nonsense, in your face, tell it like it is, no frills narrative about an obviously intelligent and savvy teenager. She is confident and doesn't not bear fools gladly. Fortunately, although street-wise, she also has a heart and is relatively gentle with her moonstruck suitor. The prose is terse, almost clipped, with a pace that is optimum for the story as it unfolds. It is confident and assured and brings credibility to all the characters it introduces. There are a couple of small errors in the opening -- 'her mother became 'should read 'began'/'two sizes to' should be 'too'. In summary an engrossing tale well told. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

Great main character! This was a funny story and I really enjoyed it! Fans of the YA genre are going to love this, it's new and different. Best of luck!

Missy

This is one of the few YA books about going to school that not only didn't bore me to tears but made me laugh. The poem itself is worthy of backing. Wish I had Ellie's cheek. Superb dialogue. Backed. lynn

Dear Orry --

Ellie is one tough chick, but she's lovable in her deliberate insouciance, and her adventures are highly entertaining without ever succumbing to treacle or glibness. Our only suggestion through chapter 7 is to consider adding a little bit of description in places where there are long sections of dialogue, as in the scene with Madame Zola's stand-in, Miss Kizzy. However, this is a preference of ours, not an absolute necessity, and it does not impact on the overall quality and fun of Ellie Stanton... BACKED. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

CONGRATULATIONS. THIS IS A FANTASTIC READ.

BACKED
THE THIRD EYE

ELLIE STANTON
This is a fun story to read. Ellie, for all her faults, is a great character. She’s feisty and ready to take on all comers. I see this as a road movie with a great looking long-legged starlet making her mark with this movie. Liked the read a lot. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Young adults will love this novel! Well written and polished so far. Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

I like the gritty flow of dialog. It feels genuine. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know an Ellie.

My favorite line: "You don't love me. It's just a prolonged like."

A few lines that you may want to review:
"You can not ruin Taco Day." - cannot is usually clearer. (Are you saying I'd rather you didn't ruin Taco day or it is impossible to ruin taco day?)

"As her mother became to incorporate gyrating dance moves to her singing," -Perhaps you mean began?

Good job and good luck
Wakefield
Emerald Dreams

Welcome aboard, Orry. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. Both pitches worked for me. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Orry -

Ellie Stanton - a smart kid who has come to look at life as a joke until she compells her very own road trip and grows enough tolerance to appreciate her lot. I like her level voice and the way she turns humour on herself. Great dialogue. A down to earth and yet magical tale of a 16 year old taking charge of her life.

Backed with pleasur, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Thanks. I will be sure to check it out when I get home tonight. I know I'm new here and don't know the protocols, but did I do something off putting I'm not aware of?

Good luck. This is a link to a thread on the forum explaining how the site works: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/posts_new.aspx?threadId=57319

Charles

Ellie could end up as the new female Bart Simpson cartoon, there is no limit to where this character could lead. Well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

At last. A new book I can actually put on my shelf.

Look at the rest of my reviews. Congratulations.

Emma

Dear Orry
Well what a title, really capturing.
Your short pitch said read me and your long pitch grabbed me and made me read, yes it did. I just loved this read, so original and well written and one that I would buy when and I say when it gets into my local book store. CONGRATS on a well crafted book Orry.
I would really appreciate a backing by you, and if you could comment on my work that would be sooooo great
Denise
The Letter

Dear Orry
Well what a title, really capturing.
Your short pitch said read me and your long pitch grabbed me and made me read, yes it did. I just loved this read, so original and well written and one that I would buy when and I say when it gets into my local book store. CONGRATS on a well crafted book Orry.
I would really appreciate a backing by you, and if you could comment on my work that would be sooooo great
Denise
The Letter

You are totally fantastic, Orry! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Orry, I love happy endings - what a feat in the meantime - hope when you re-do it, it will be "and she lived happily ever after." :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)

This is a novella which i'm expanding into a novel now.