Devils Lake

For the most part I liked your writing style especially the dialogue and the lines such as Stan's red-rimmed eyes peered over tented fingers. However some parts were too over descriptive and I thought slowed the pace of the story down. There were also a lot of characters to take in. Having a fairly poor memory I found myself at one point making a list of them so I could keep track! Devils Lake would make a good TV drama. Corporations with high flyers all battling for their slice of power seems to be all the rage at the moment. You have obviously put a lot of hard work into this and with a bit of editing I think this would do well. I would be grateful if you could take a look at my novel.

Kim (Pain)

Rand,
I tend to agree with Marge's comments earlier. This story has everything but is very demanding. The reader has to take in a lot of information, characters, events, and try to keep up. If you could concentrate upon the main story and flesh that out then you should be on to a winner. (And I don't mean go back to Paradise Lost and simply plod through that but perhaps let your reimagining become crystal clear.) On occasions the clarity is certainly compromised by the descriptive writing which tends to pull the reader up short and take them away from the story. At the moment you seem to be undecided about your style - whether to go for Lit Fic or something like crime/thriller speak. I think when you stick with the crime style it works best.
Good luck with the project. Will return to see how this progresses.
Gefordson.


PS. I found the use of 'Uzi' as a nickname slightly off in the first chapter - almost unbelievable. It seemed the one false note in that opening.

Hi,
Just found your comments. Thanks for taking the time. The story becomes less demanding the farther along you get. The writing becomes less "ornate" and the pace picks up. The references to Paradise Lost become vaguer as the crime story takes over but the ending brings it all together. And of course sets up a sequel.
Thanks again for your comments.

Rand

Rand,
I tend to agree with Marge's comments earlier. This story has everything but is very demanding. The reader has to take in a lot of information, characters, events, and try to keep up. If you could concentrate upon the main story and flesh that out then you should be on to a winner. (And I don't mean go back to Paradise Lost and simply plod through that but perhaps let your reimagining become crystal clear.) On occasions the clarity is certainly compromised by the descriptive writing which tends to pull the reader up short and take them away from the story. At the moment you seem to be undecided about your style - whether to go for Lit Fic or something like crime/thriller speak. I think when you stick with the crime style it works best.
Good luck with the project. Will return to see how this progresses.
Gefordson.


PS. I found the use of 'Uzi' as a nickname slightly off in the first chapter - almost unbelievable. It seemed the one false note in that opening.

Hi,
Just found your comments. Thanks for taking the time. The story becomes less demanding the farther along you get. The writing becomes less "ornate" and the pace picks up. The references to Paradise Lost become vaguer as the crime story takes over but the ending brings it all together. And of course sets up a sequel.
Thanks again for your comments.

Rand

Rand,
I tend to agree with Marge's comments earlier. This story has everything but is very demanding. The reader has to take in a lot of information, characters, events, and try to keep up. If you could concentrate upon the main story and flesh that out then you should be on to a winner. (And I don't mean go back to Paradise Lost and simply plod through that but perhaps let your reimagining become crystal clear.) On occasions the clarity is certainly compromised by the descriptive writing which tends to pull the reader up short and take them away from the story. At the moment you seem to be undecided about your style - whether to go for Lit Fic or something like crime/thriller speak. I think when you stick with the crime style it works best.
Good luck with the project. Will return to see how this progresses.
Gefordson.


PS. I found the use of 'Uzi' as a nickname slightly off in the first chapter - almost unbelievable. It seemed the one false note in that opening.

going to back you for the writing, very nice, possibly a bit too ornate for my taste but well executed none the less, i don't know how we fit the father, the son and lucifer all in a boardroom successfully and carry out the analogy (with my distaste for corps i can only think of it as a hell) but you seem to be pulling it off fairly successfully, at least in the first four chapters i have read,perhaps though there is something more here than meets the eye, one never really knows where the devil might be found, i wonder if i would have thought of "paradise lost" right off without you letting me in on it in your piece's description, there is subtle humor here, i wonder though without the analogy and symbolism would the story be as effective, it calls for a very literate reader, best wishes for your piece and if you could do me the favor would you read some of one of my pieces, preferably "sound not heard" or "ghost dance"

I read your first chapter.

General comments: A captivating start. A fascinating main character. Vivid imagery. Excellent tension. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) An excellent opening line. I'm hooked.
2) You started a paragraph with 'A pale reflection of Uzi's golden good looks ... ' and then start the following paragraph with 'Pale as the moon ... ' In my opinion, that's one 'pale' too many. Consider using an alternate word for one of them.
3) " ... no doubt Jay is a worth successor Father, ... " Comma after 'successor.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas. There are more cases where you address someone in dialogue but didn't offset their name or title with commas.
4) 'Lashed like a whip' is cliche. Consider writing the same idea, but in a fresh way.
5) "He has an unselfish love. Put a closing quote mark after 'love.'

I hope this critique helps you further polish your all important first chapter. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Have a marvelous day.

Al

Devils Lake
fiction - 3rd person multiple - past tense

Pitch - Short pitch IMO is underwritten. Long pitch IMO is a tad overwritten.

Premise - a literary crime story

I've read a portion of Ch 1 so my comments are only to that extent.

This author has a gift for descriptive writing. The visuals are excellent but perhaps a bit overwritten.

POV - The narrative voice is very strong and the POVs shift constantly without any focus or connection to any character.

Pacing - The first paragraph moves right along at a strong pace. But the story wallows into introduction of a huge cast of characters who offer nothing to support the plot.

Plot - Doesn't appear to be goal driven. After reading a good portion of Ch 1, I'm completely bogged down in a cast of characters, none of whom seem to have any goal and no-one is moving the story forward. I'm a bit perplexed, as the premise of the story is marvelous, but nothing is happening.

characters - There are so many, I feel as though I'm at a convention with names being hurled at me. Each is carefully described, and the descriptions are excellent. But without any visceral connection, they remain strangers.

Mechanics - very strong.

While I might be judging this book very harshly for only reading a portion of the first chapter, I've come to the conclusion that the first chapter has got to be perfectly executed in order to engage the reader. My point being, if it gets good later, why not get good right from the get go?

These observations are only from my humble and not terribly gifted POV. I hope they offer something useful and appolgize if it all comes across like I'm having a bad day. I wish you luck with this.

Raechel
Echo

Read the first couple of chapters so far. It's well written, the descrptions set the scene and it makes the reader want to read more.

I'm up to the fourth chapter and enjoying a lot. Dialogue flows well, is believable and definitely one of your strengths. I'm backing Devils Lake with high stars. Regards, Richard

I would consider cutting down on the adjectives. The first paragraph alone contains: narrow, white, longish, brown, gray, violent, teary, hooked, shadowed, white, black, massive, slender, rugged, yellow, great, grey, black and muscular. For some reason too many adjectives makes an exhausting read.

I'm also having a bit of trouble with keeping track of all the characters. I have to sort out all these guys already on the first page: Stan, Tam "Uzi", Asta, Gordon, Zeke, Jay, Bill "Bub", Mory "Mooky", Chester, Miss Izzy, Mike, Gabe, Abe, Mary and Muriel. It's obvious that you have put down an incredible amount of work on the characters and the story, hence everything is crystal clear in your mind. But as a first time reader, I have to go back and forth to check who's who, and that disturbs the flow of my reading. I would at least try to introduce the characters bit by bit, letting us get to "know" one before we say hello to the other. It still works, but you could make it easier for us.

That aside i really enjoy the short, distinct storytelling and the hard boiled language. You get things off to a good start with Gordon's betrayal, at least in Stan's eyes, and the family conflict is on it's way, Shakespearian way. The plot thickens with the unknown sibling and by now it's very hard to stop reading. Mission accomplished.

All in all it's a bit like reading a movie, or a theatre play. The characters are believable and the dialogue is spot on. Your writing has a good flow to it, that makes it easy to read (even for a dumb Swede ;-)
On my shelf.
Good luck!

/Tony

Rand - Devils Lake (without the apostrophe!) is pacey and well written and I have backed it with stars - best wishes Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Hi there Rand - a frivolous start as we fly through the air with Stan, and then a more measured start - not unlike James Joyce's The Dead - as we are introduced to your corporate cast. I was taken with your work

Best

Pat

good pace here, for this book. great use of dialogue and narrative brings it all together, and makes work; on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

I honestly haven’t read enough of Devils Lake to get a feel for plot development, but I’ve read enough (first chapter, and then dipped into several later chapters) to get a sense for the style, narrative voice, and dialogue. I like the premise of the story, as suggested in the pitch. The dialogue, however, is what impressed me most. It’s consistently realistic and provokes an emotional response. The narrative is heavy with detail. You obviously had a vivid picture in your mind of the settings, and are highly skilled at getting the picture accurately across to your readers. The problem (for me, anyway) is that there’s too much detail. I think a lot of the detail that you provide would be better left to the reader to imagine.

Devils Lake is exceptionally well written…
Rodney (The Father)

Rand,
Your prose flows and warms my heart. Your detail, gives a definate sense of place, and I know where I am. Your dialogue moves on your plot and the action like a film before my eyes. The first chapter sets up your story very well. I like it.

Backed and starred.

Thank you for backing God of the Cocoa. I wonder what you thought of it.

Best of Luck
Marilyn

DEVIL'S LAKE
This is a tense and quite excellent thriller. the beginning sets off at a spanking pace and the reader is completely enthralled. Waspy characters and believalbe dialogue between them. Well written and worthy of a backing.
Faith
The Assassins Village

A superb thriller, well written and intriguing. Time limits me from reading very much, but your talent shines through from the beginning. A well thought out plot. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

A great hook right at the begining with the fake suicide attempt, then the narative bowls along nicely. A bit of razor wit always helps. I think this will be a good project but a big one.

Dear Rand Durnad,

I commented on Devils Lake yesterday, September 7 at 10:45 AM and backed it at 12:38. I was having trouble with the computer, so obviously it didn’t register. As you will note, I do make notes to keep track of all these Authonomy dealings. Every single book I look at I comment on. Why? Politeness.

I applaud you for taking on John Milton’s Paradise Lost, no small feat. It’s important to pass on the love of learning and exploring the literary giants. Your book is enjoyably readable and I do hope it will lead readers to the great epic 17th century poem.

Best and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School
(Purgatorio Found)

Ambitious. It's easy to see you've put a lot of work in on this. For me, sometimes overly detailed, but that's just me . . . great effort. Good dialogue. This will be very good, I think.

You've given us a tense thriller with edgy characters and vivid settings. Crisp, engaging dialogue. Evocative narrative. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

This is very fast paced I liked the vision Samuel flying on the wind. In the beginning I thought he was going to kill himself. I have only read a chapter and a half but can easily see that it is a well contrived piece of work. I loved the boardroom tussle and the way you bring in so many characters in such a short space of time, others would not have the courage to do so. Best of luck with it sorry I can’t read more I’m desperately trying to catch up. Regards

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – please take a moment to take a look.

I have nothing negative to say about this book. I read what you uploaded. I read it in two sittings and it was an easy read. I enjoyed this and would read all of it.

"So, this is my day of ascension." I wonder when is mine, sigh . . . Oh well, at least I don't have a wife like Asta and a brother like Jay. "Yes, Father, me . . . you should choose me." It doesn't happen and all hell breaks loose. This is an intriguing read. When I get a little more time, I'll be back. On my shelf for now.

This is a marvelous, well written thriller! It is very poetic in visual. I'm jealous! Backed.

At the start of this you find yourself drawn to stan, he's a strong, vital character and compared to jay, who comes across as weak and soft, he is the more attractive of the two. I guess that is one of the devil's best tools, appear fair when underneath you are foul:-)) Good old Tolkein, that was a great line.
then you begin to show him in his true colours and the attractive villian begins to make the flesh creep. The part with his daighters and /christmas was the ultimate in shudder.
I feel Milton running under all this, he's not a favourite of mine, but the weaving of Paradise Lost into your narrative, the skillful use of names, is very well done.
To combine a crime story with literature is also a clever device and I can only admire the way you have achieved such a subtle effect.

Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your taking the time.

Rand

Hi Rand,
Have only read the first two chapters.....phew you've have thrown everyting into this...big drama sweeping majestic and epic (hence the homage)
I can see also FOUNTAINHEAD and just about any day time soap or evening one for that matter. You got the reader grasped firmly around the throat as you toss us this way and that
Have thoroughly enjoyed these two..
go get 'em tiger much much success
:)
Diane

Hi Rand,
Have only read the first two chapters.....phew you've have thrown everyting into this...big drama sweeping majestic and epic (hence the homage)
I can see also FOUNTAINHEAD and just about any day time soap or evening one for that matter. You got the reader grasped firmly around the throat as you toss us this way and that
Have thoroughly enjoyed these two..
go get 'em tiger much much success
:)
Diane

Great tension...like the seashell shaped ears!
Lose some of the adverbs...best wishes
Alison Butler

You have the bones of a good story, but the reader has to concentrate to follow it. There is too much description and naming of minor characters, all of which act to confuse rather than clarify. The action scenes are well done, and so is the sex scene in Ch 18, - very well done. Your pitch contains a little too much in my opinion, more like a condensed synopsis than a pitch. Ch 2, It might be a good idea to say Detective Royce right at the start so we know where we are. (I know it comes around paragraph 3 or 4) Ch 8, Corey. You do well with Corey, so that we can know his thoughts, (even if I didn't actually know who he is and where he fits.) Then Ch 18, and there's Martin and Eva, a seduction, and very well done. I've criticised you for too much description, but in its place, you have a real talent for it. Paragraph 5 was very well done.
I wish you luck with your story, but at the moment it needs a more obvious direction and less messing about with superfluous details. Good luck with it. Marj.

Stan didn't "keel over backwards" he jumped and was pushed up and back, landing on his "black oxfords". Thanks very much for backing.

Hi Rand, I loved the way you start by getting the reader to think Stan is going to jump off the building to kill himself, only to keel over backwards playfully celebrating success! It's a very clever device, well written, and after that you build the tension nicely. Sibling rivalry is a fascinatiing theme. If I saw this in a bookshop, I'd buy it - complusive reading and backed with pleasure. If you have time to have a read of mine, I'd be very grateful.
Best wishes, Adelina
A Distant Family

Hi Rand, I loved the way you start by getting the reader to think Stan is going to jump off the building to kill himself, only to keel over backwards playfully celebrating success! It's a very clever device, well written, and after that you build the tension nicely. Sibling rivalry is a fascinatiing theme. If I saw this in a bookshop, I'd buy it - complusive reading and backed with pleasure. If you have time to have a read of mine, I'd be very grateful.
Best wishes, Adelina
A Distant Family

This is fun. Although I like the central conceit, I found it a little arch in places so I think you could afford to disguise the story even more and not alienate readers. The "Garden of Eden" episodes are bound to be difficult to update but you manage well. Your writing is assured and whilst I think Milton has the edge (surely, you'd expect that?), your voice is clear and confident. The way you play with names: Rand Durand? Anything to do with Barbarella or just coincidence?
Best of luck with this and thanks for the backing and comments on Head Count.
Russell

Hi,

Thanks very much for your comments. I'll make the changes you noted. You suggest making it clearer that Cally is a dog. But is he? The "love scene" is really Satan's temptation of Eve, hence the slithering and snakey stuff. Glad you liked it. I had many chapters posted before but few people read past one or two. Perhaps I'll put them back when I'm closer to the ED. Thanks for your input.

Rand

Rand,
I read it all. You write beautifully. The board room isn't much different than the wilds, is i?. Your descriptions are beautiful.With the skipping of chapters I can't comment on your story line. I suspect it will be good. At times, especially in the first chapter, I became confused with the characters; however, by the end of the chapter I sorted them out. I had a little trouble figuring out that Cally was a dog--maybe clarify that a little better. As a child I had a pet Irish setter shot by a hunter, just because it moved in the woods. My father wanted to shoot the hunter. I must say I found the references to a snake (slithering, snaked) in the love scene unpleasant. I realize in the story she liked the black snake, but not too many people feel good around snakes. However, if you intended to make the reader uncomfortable. You did a great job. By the way, her dream with the angel was lovely.

Look into your use of the word, blonde. I believe blond is used when referring to a male or something neutral such as blond oak, and blonde is the spelling when referring to a female. Also, somewhere I noticed 'wingedbacked.' I believe that should be wingback chair and in that same sentence you had a typo--chairin th. I think you meant chair in the. All and all Rand, I think this is excellent. I hope you post more of it so readers taste more of the story. Best of luck.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

Rand,
I read it all. You write beautifully. The board room isn't much different than the wilds, is i?. Your descriptions are beautiful.With the skipping of chapters I can't comment on your story line. I suspect it will be good. At times, especially in the first chapter, I became confused with the characters; however, by the end of the chapter I sorted them out. I had a little trouble figuring out that Cally was a dog--maybe clarify that a little better. As a child I had a pet Irish setter shot by a hunter, just because it moved in the woods. My father wanted to shoot the hunter. I must say I found the references to a snake (slithering, snaked) in the love scene unpleasant. I realize in the story she liked the black snake, but not too many people feel good around snakes. However, if you intended to make the reader uncomfortable. You did a great job. By the way, her dream with the angel was lovely.

Look into your use of the word, blonde. I believe blond is used when referring to a male or something neutral such as blond oak, and blonde is the spelling when referring to a female. Also, somewhere I noticed 'wingedbacked.' I believe that should be wingback chair and in that same sentence you had a typo--chairin th. I think you meant chair in the. All and all Rand, I think this is excellent. I hope you post more of it so readers taste more of the story. Best of luck.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

I can tell you put a lot of time into this. Five years on one book? I got to hand it to you. I'd never do that unless the book was at least two thousand pages of fine print. I'll tell you why, because I've learned this the hard way: the more you mess with something, often the more you "dress it up." That's exactly what I see happening here. The prose has been dressed to the point of purpleness. I think what Jan said below is true. I've done this myself, editing to the point where it doesn't even sound like me anymore. Your style shines through mostly in the first draft, then becomes diluded with each revision. So obviously you want the first draft to be as good as possible so you don't have to toy around with it too much afterward. Have you tried setting it aside for three months and not looking at it? Do that, then come back with fresh eyes and see how it looks.

You have a great story here. Some passages work extremely well. The dialogue is well done and realistic. You also have a great writing skills. Those of us who are hyper-critical and highly skilled are the ones who tend to OVERwrite. (I'd guess you're an only child or a first-born perfectionist.) Trust me, I've been there and I do it too. You wanted honest constructive criticism and this is the best piece of advice I can give: outline the book, then write the book, then wait a few months and go back to it for proofing and editing. But don't overdo it. Recognize that it's as good as it's going to get and that, if you keep editing and revising, you just might be doing the story more harm than good.
Backed for its great potential and moments of genius.

To Rand Durand (Devils Lake)

I loved the story and loved the style of writing. Murder, seduction, sin and revenge. what a theme! I'm backing your book.

Frank James (The contractor)

Hi,

'purple prose' - you are entitiled to your opinion

The colours are necessary to convey a picture of the room that I have in mind, not what the reader may dream up.

The “royal blue” alludes to his status, and Gordon’s taste, as well as colours the floor to further the description of the antechamber. It is supposed to take a while for the image to come together. Perhaps I failed you.

“Heads turned as Stan strode into thier midst.” is purile (my opinion) and sounds like he is some buffoon, lost in a crowd. He steps out of the elevator, takes a few steps and stops.

“attacking a table of cakes and cheeses...” is exactly what I wanted to say, to hint at them not being as elegant and sophisticated as you seem to think they should be.

Perhaps they’re not what they seem?

I appreciate your comments. Thank you. Did you read all of Ch1?

As my biog indicates - asking my honest opinion is alwasy dangerous, because once asked I will give it.

This story has legs, thoough could do with a vigorous edit to sharpen it up. It has legs, don't think it hasn't, but you may want to watch the descriptive passages that do plunge into 'purple prose' at times.

Speaking of which... One thing that really started to bug me was the way everything had to have a colour. Minor thing but it did start to stand out in my mind in a big way.

There are colours mentioned no less than eight times in the first paragraph.

e.g. Heads turned as Stan strode onto the royal blue carpet.

Is the colour relevant? Is the carpet a magic one suspended in mid-air with no floor beneath it? Was it the only carpet? or could Stan have strode onto the red one or the green one?

See what I mean?

The thing you are trying to convey that Stan's arrival is of some importance.

so why not just :
Heads turned as Stan strode into thier midst.

Also in he same paragraph ...as they attacked a table... to me that denotes a lack of elegance and sophistication which goes against all you have said about the place and people.

As I said - the story has legs - but could do with another edit. (as does my own offering I hasten to add - many typos and glitches abound there as well :-) )

See what I mean about typos? I am living proof that spell checkers are an absolute must! Pity there is not one on Autho :-)

As my biog indicates - asking my honest opinion is alwasy dangerous, because once asked I will give it.

This story has legs, thoough could do with a vigorous edit to sharpen it up. It has legs, don't think it hasn't, but you may want to watch the descriptive passages that do plunge into 'purple prose' at times.

Speaking of which... One thing that really started to bug me was the way everything had to have a colour. Minor thing but it did start to stand out in my mind in a big way.

There are colours mentioned no less than eight times in the first paragraph.

e.g. Heads turned as Stan strode onto the royal blue carpet.

Is the colour relevant? Is the carpet a magic one suspended in mid-air with no floor beneath it? Was it the only carpet? or could Stan have strode onto the red one or the green one?

See what I mean?

The thing you are trying to convey that Stan's arrival is of some importance.

so why not just :
Heads turned as Stan strode into thier midst.

Also in he same paragraph ...as they attacked a table... to me that denotes a lack of elegance and sophistication which goes against all you have said about the place and people.

As I said - the story has legs - but could do with another edit. (as does my own offering I hasten to add - many typos and glitches abound there as well :-) )

Thank you, yes, The Company of Fellows is pretty turgid, which was kind of the reason I uploaded it - I write literary fiction, but I get rather sick of literary fiction snobbery. I started out trying to write thrillers but I just couldn't do it - Company of Fellows is the result of over 20 edits, and it's still nowhere near passable, so I wanted to show how hard it was by uploading my failure. You, on the other hand, have the pacing and plotting down to a tee

Beautifully written, great story. Reminded me of another Canadian book, The Tenderness of Wolves. Different though, at the same time. Backed. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Hi,

Glad you liked Devils Lake. Thanks for backing.

Rand

Fascinating book, good writing and strong, still reading, backed with pleasure.

Fascinating book, good writing and strong, still reading, backed with pleasure.

Glad you liked it.

Rand

Rand,
Devils Lake is thrilling. I love your crisp descriptions of settings as the enthralling plot is unraveled. I especially like the chapter headings with precise dates. It's a quick reference for the reader and makes for a far more believable story. I use the same type of heading in several chapters of Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story.

Rand,
Devils Lake is thrilling. I love your crisp descriptions of settings as the enthralling plot is unraveled. I especially like the chapter headings with precise dates. It's a quick reference for the reader and makes for a far more believable story. I use the same type of heading in several chapters of Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story.

Hi Rand, as you know, we deploy different styles. hey, that's why it could be useful to do an edit exchange, if you think it might help hone your MS.
first, let me say, this is fine writing. on my shelf.

now for some micro edits (ok, i'm not focusing on your descriptive passages, but will note the odd spot where i think you could delete adjs)

del: "white and black"

maybe recast the last sent in para one into 2 shorter, punchier sentences, to make this great vision - playing chicken with the wind - more dramatic. "Then he leaned on the air - and leapt. The roaring wind lifted, then pushed him back, briefly flying, to the ..." not sure if the "black oxfords" works here; for me, a descriptive detail at this juncture takes attention away from his action, lessens his fate-tempting jump. maybe just use "shoes" or "feet."

del: "rooftop" - we know he's on the roof.

del: "warm"

the prose in S's ascension interior monolgue jars after the solid, prosaic detail of the previous paras. on the other hand, i can see you wanting that. anyway, i accept S as a guy who'd talk to himself in grandiose terms (he's a well-drawn, unique char), but perhaps in language a bit more realistic, and a little less allegorical (even though you are tying into Milton). tough call, i know ;)

right, nuff bs from me. no prob if my take makes no sense to you. as i noted, we're on different paths.
best wishes, andy

Hi,

Thanks very much for backing Devils Lake. You are a marvelous writer. I had your book on my WL but it slipped off some time ago. I've since backed it, enthusiastically.
I would appreciate any comments you find the time to make, and would gladly reciprocate if you want.

Rand

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.