PEASANT REBEL

Paul, As far as I can tell, this novel should, "engage the mind of young readers". Seems like a good effort to me. The action's well written, I can picture Spragg, the Wat Tyler revolt is as relevant as it's ever been, and there aren't any grammar errors. Not much to comment on really. Well done - Ian

Nice...very nice...from the first chapter you weave an intricate tale already. Keep it up, and keep promoting, and you'll have a publishing contract sooner or later, I think :)

I enjoyed this very much despite an occasional lapse in agreement between who was speaking and who was spoken tow (I suggest you proof read by reading aloud to some one else or vice versa). I would also make sure to have each chapter tell enough of the story to make it a satisfying episode--think of TV episodes. Some of the chapters currently fall short. Four stars.

Hi Paul,

I'm not a fan of historical fiction, but this is good and I shall certainly be returning to read more when I have the time. You have obviously spent a consierable amount of time on research.

There are, espeially in chapter 3, a few pov issues, but I'm sure you can sor these out in a re-draft.

One small continuity point, in chapter one, you give sprags age as 15, but in a later chapter he says he is four years older than 12, which would make him 16. A minor point but the kind of thing readers pick up on.

Ron

Your pedantic pitch and first chapter heading don't do your work justice.
This is an appealing book for young people and adults alike.
It has an attractive, familiar period voice, and the subject is an interesting one.
Well done.

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More...From the Beginning)

The writing is clear, crisp, gives the reader something to wrap their mind around. If I had more time, I'd read more, but I'm trying to catch up with dozens of requests! Good writing here. Backed.

A strong opening chapter. Nice touches with the historical details that do just enough to set the scene without becoming overtly instructional. I suspect Spragg will prove to be a witty, resourceful and likeable character.
Well written stuff, backed with pleasure.
Shaun
The Six Acts

I found this engaging, atmospheric and well written. On my shelf.
Joanna
Fossil Farm

It seems scary. You're obviously not afraid to write about anything. Descriptive. Good for you Paul!

Spragg encounters one of the 'fancy folk' but in dire circumstances. Having taken him to the healer, he's off again the next day to see the results. Instead he finds another wounded creature, and by helping the she-wolf, has perhaps earnt himself some dangerous allies. He shows even more cunning when covering for the injured page. But the friar finds them with the message, and young Guy must decide who to trust...

Lively, colourful writing of the kind that will engage any child's imagination: 'his white naked backside as flabby as a vat of baker's dough', 'scraggly hair exploding in random directions', 'seven snarling shapes ghosted into view'. This is an authentic introduction to a time and place in history which comes alive through the various characters, and in particular, Spragg, a street-wise kid in a time before 'streets' as we know them. There's a slight flourish of fantasy with his helping of the wolf, but that just adds to the thrills that children will get from this absorbing and exciting story ... backed.

Possible nits: 'pushing towards the morning light ... pushed through a tangle ... pushed these thoughts'. There's no sign or mention of Magda when the boys meet again at her hut. There are quite a few M names: Magda, Modrag, Moldwood, Mayweather; the first 2 being particularly easy to confuse.

Wonderful sense of time and place, and a plot that begins in the middle of the action, right from the start. You have a direct yet descriptive style that moves along at a pleasing pace. The discovery of the injured boy is an intriguing start, and you hint at Spragg's past in a way that leaves us wanting more, in a good way. (Although I couldn't help but think that that early wolf bite may lead to some werewolf type of plot--I think that's a result of reading so many books here on authonomy :-).) Well done. Really enjoyed this.

---Mary
The Qualtiies of Wood

Good afternoon Paul.
I read half a dozen chapters of your book and found it very easy to the eye. The pcae was good, as was the characterisation of young Spagg. You obviously know and researched your medieval history, so you could paint a realistic picture for the reader to enter.
The best comment you have, however, is when you say as an introduction '' The central question remains: will the rebellion succeed for each of the main characters''. Now this is key, because as we know the actual outcome, one can not expect a surpise there. However for the individuals, we must weight and see or sohould I say read the whole book!
Excellent. BACKED.

I would really appreciate if you could reciprocate and read some of my childrens' book called Adventures of the Paperbats''.
Many thanks. Jerry [paperbat]

Lord Moldwood sends out an urgent coded message, but its intercepted by the regents men, leaving only one assigned to do the job still alive. A peasant boy helps the high born to safety, and together they set out to deliver the message.
Treminology such as high born and tax coin means the class system and money were unknown entities but issues such as taxation are the causes of friction between those of the noble class, and the peasantry. Lets hope the message triggers another poll tax riot. We see the peasant boy benevolent of all living things, while the high born is trained for adventure and war, so the story is as informative as it is entertaining.
Nicely written period piece that endeavours to retain authenticity, crucial if the object is to educate as well as entertain which I think the story does so successfully, so for that reason it has my backing.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.
Minor typos Chapter two: The path fmeandered through abandoned fields covered in weeds and corn stubble.
Chapter four: Spragg hesitated but he remained determined to act 'You'll need to k...'

Your brilliant, dynamic story grabbed me and kept me riveted. Credible characters. Crisp dialogue that evokes the era. Vital writing. I absolutely love this thoughtfully composed story. Backed.

sorry, I meant Monty Python and the Holy Grail, of course.

Nicole

Hi Paul

I enjoyed this. I don't usually go for mediaeval tales with everyone wandering around covered in mud and rough homespun like extras from Life of Brian, but you manage to pull it off and engage the reader. Spragg is a very sympathetic hero and it's great the way you introduce new introduce into each chapter - Magda, the wolves, the political element. Very nicely done. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Great opening chapter, full of action, suspense, and attmosphere. And it finishes with a laugh.
That reminded me of a Dave Alan joke.
"If you don't suck the poison out your friend will die."
"What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die."
Backed

Peasant Rebel is a really good Young Adult historical read - immediately involving, shows the author's writing experience straight away. Would appeal to fans of the 'Robin Hood' genre era.

All the best (and sorry for the wait returning the read),
Lisa (Death And The City)

What a gripping start. I love historical fiction and you write it so well. Brilliant. I reall like Spragg already! Well worth returning for more! Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid, also an historical novel

What a gripping start. I love historical fiction and you write it so well. Brilliant. I reall like Spragg already! Well worth returning for more! Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid, also an historical novel

PEASANT REBEL - 8/11/2010

The pitch does not do justice to the story. It could be much more effective by reflecting the suspense and action. The story does start out with a bang and keeps going. I like the imagery and descriptions, but the details of the plant life might be a bit overdone. The MC is a good anchor for the story, appealing to the young adult and full of pride and defiance. But, the "mud-brown eyes" are not exactly a good complement for him. Mud just doesn't inspire likability.

Dialogue is well done, just enough of the vernacular to place the story in the time frame, but no to the point of rendering it unreadable. The plot is sound and includes enough twists and complications to keeps a reader's interest. A good young adult read. Good luck with it.

Marc - Where's The Ivy

There is something highly engaging about your book. Chapter one sets us a challenge to find out what’s in the pouch and who it is to be delivered to. Spragg’s encounter with the wolves is both magical and scary at the same time. We are left in no doubt that Spragg is special and will encounter many challenges. If my shelf were not so full I would read more than the two chapters as your book promises a gifted story

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

Paul,
Peasant Rebel is a well-researched and riveting historical with universal appeal. Backed with pleasure.

Backed
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

I backed your book a few days ago based on chapter one, came back and read through chapter five. I'll to come back for more tomorrow. Great job with names and evoking a sense of place. Good luck!

Benjamin Dancer

Thanks so much for your kind message. Much appreciated.
Paul M.

Peasant Rebel
A must read for historical fiction fans,young and old! Reminiscent of Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth". Well researched and great pace. Loved it.
Alison Butler

Peasant Rebel
A must read for historical fiction fans,young and old! Reminiscent of Ken Follett's "Pillars of the Earth". Well researched and great pace. Loved it.
Alison Butler

HI. I really enjoyed this and I can see it having a wider audience than just YA. I have been a teacher of English for many years and would have appreciated writing of this quality to engage my students, too many of whom are fading away from reading altogether. This would certainly have been a welcome addition to my lesson plan resources but would also have been something the students could have taken home for themselves.

You manage to create a strong and vibrant character in Spragg that will carry the narrative easily along. I am also a father of four who actively sought to turn the kids to reading. They would have loved this.

Excellent stuff and you set your time period in stone.

BACKED.

You have an exceptionally beautiful cover and a good pitch. These elements make the reader want more. I enjoy this historical period. You've done an excellent writing job here.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe
Would you consider backing MEMORIES OF GLORY? I thank you for taking a look.

Hi Paul. You flash out your characters really well. Spragg is really great and Magda a great contrast. You have caught the era in a contemporary way through your writing, which lows well. Backed and best of luck! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

As a fan and writer of historical fiction, it was only right and proper that I looked in. I like your contemporary style, which manages to maintain period authenticity in its words. I also like Spragg, I reckon he might just grow up into my kind of scum! One or two parts could be trimmed a little, but I reckon you can pick those up yourself. I am all for the idea of historical fiction for children.
Best wishes and good luck,
Linton

Hi Paul
A charming piece of writing with some wonderful visual imagery. This is entertaining and educational as well - quite original. I wasn't sure which age group it was aimed as some of the language might be tricky for younger children. Overall, I loved it and I'm sure my kids would too.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Hey Paul, love the genre. Nice story telling. Backed.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

Dear Paul
I did, yes comment and back this book a few days ago, however I cannot find the backing. I believe this book is worth taking the trouble to do it again, so I am. BEST OF LUCK

Denise
The Letter

Hi Paul
I'm enjoying your writing - an unusual genre.

Hi Paul, This took me right to the time and the action began swiftly. You've incorporated Spragg's background, his being no stranger to death, easily into the developing plot. Interesting characters, the messenger and Morag. It's vivid and written so that Spragg's age level would become immersed too. Easily shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Historical fiction for children is something you don't see very often, and you really have something amazing here. There's a real sense of the era, volatile and thrilling, and I adore seeing something that has such a firm foundation of research to hold up what promises to be a thrilling plot!

Backed with pleasure
Abi xxx

Thanks Missy
Much appreciated. I will check your work out too. Hope you do manage more than three chapters as the action picks up!
Cheers
Paul

I'm a huge fan of historical fiction and this is detailed and well researched. I don't know much about English history so I also felt like I was learning something and it was fascinating. You've done a wonderful job, this had such a nice feel to it. Great job and I'm going to try and come back to read past the 3rd chapter.

Missy

I'm a huge fan of historical fiction and this is detailed and well researched. I don't know much about English history so I also felt like I was learning something and it was fascinating. You've done a wonderful job, this had such a nice feel to it. Great job and I'm going to try and come back to read past the 3rd chapter.

Missy

Chris
Really appreciate your comments and support. I Also love history and, like you, feel Wat Tyler deserves wider recognition and if my humble offering does this in a minor way then that will be very satisfying, I am a bit busy with many things right now but hope to return and repay comments such as yours with a serious consideration of their work. Once again, many thanks.
Paul

Paul, this is a great story and one that is hardly touched on by historical writers. Wat Tyler and the Peasant's Revolt is a period of history barely touched upon by storytellers OR historians and it's easy to see why. It was a near-revolution ahead of its time and nearly put paid to feudalism. Wat Tyler is one of the great unsung heroes of British history in my view and it's good that someone has marked him out. He was three centuries ahead of Cromwell, as were John Ball and the Lollards. Tyler was Trotsky to Ball's Lenin if you like. It was only because of the objective conditions of the time that they didn't succeed - it was, after all, a peasants' revolt. The peasantry were tied to the land and its seasons and could never sustain a campaign to any great length, but they came so close to giving history a shove. Thank you.
The writing is storytelling of the highest order and, I think, is accessible to ALL ages (I'm 54 and I liked it). The plot and characters are believable and fit the time period. The dialogue is great. It's on my shelf. Hope it gets published. Chris1

Paul, this is a great story and one that is hardly touched on by historical writers. Wat Tyler and the Peasant's Revolt is a period of history barely touched upon by storytellers OR historians and it's easy to see why. It was a near-revolution ahead of its time and nearly put paid to feudalism. Wat Tyler is one of the great unsung heroes of British history in my view and it's good that someone has marked him out. He was three centuries ahead of Cromwell, as were John Ball and the Lollards. Tyler was Trotsky to Ball's Lenin if you like. It was only because of the objective conditions of the time that they didn't succeed - it was, after all, a peasants' revolt. The peasantry were tied to the land and its seasons and could never sustain a campaign to any great length, but they came so close to giving history a shove. Thank you.
The writing is storytelling of the highest order and, I think, is accessible to ALL ages (I'm 54 and I liked it). The plot and characters are believable and fit the time period. The dialogue is great. It's on my shelf. Hope it gets published. Chris1

Expertly done. You give the broader context, then you reel us in with your characters and place the story at a personal level. Great pacing, great descriptions and dialogue. Really enjoyed this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Beautifully written in a period context. Excellent description of the world and the plight of the MC within it (Spragg).Good hook with the package that was flung by the soldier, and the subsequent appearance of the boy looking for it.

Just a note: "peasants'" is spelled wrong in your short pitch.

Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Welcome. I hope this thread on the forum helps: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/posts_new.aspx?threadId=58801

Charles

I think Peasant Rebel is a book that should do well with older children and young adult readers. You've assembled a colorful set of characters (Mad Magda's my favorite so far), constructed an adventurous plot line, and added bits of mystery to each section--Why were the soldiers attacked? What was in the leather case? Where do John Ball and the Lollards fit into the political alliances that are forming?, etc. I'd never heard of the Peasant's Revolt before, so any historical tidbits you could scour out were news to me. I also liked the setting you created--the facts about folk medicine, damp soil used as insulation and the like mixed in with the elements of fable, such as the wolves and, if one could call her such, Magda the witch gave a scary but convincing mood to the piece. Backed with pleasure.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Clever, Interesting, Very High Energy!

It doesn't feel as if you were tired when you wrote it.
Great imagery!
Spragg is an incredible character.

Paul,
...'beads of sweat oozed from his pores'... Love That!
Great Job!
Backed!
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Fantastic! I studied the Peasant Revolt on 1381 on my history degree but this is the first story I have ever come across about Wat Tyler. You have a great style and excellent pace and a highly original story. Brilliant. Backed without hesitation, best of luck my friend.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

I liked this, good style and characters.

Backed

If you get the time could you take a look at 'Soulshadow' or 'Toby'

Craig Phoenix

PEASANT REBEL
This is a good story. The opening scene is dramatic: the boar . . . the soldiers . . . the injured boy . . . Spragg is a good character; he’s both likable and sympathetic. The kind of character who is interesting to follow to see how everything plays out for him. Your writing style is good for this genre. You have a lot of things that need described but you know to keep descriptions to a minimum so your story keeps moving. Makes this an enjoyable read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear Paul
You have done a lot of work for this book with regard to research I feel sure. CONGRATS on a really good read. Well crafted with a story that is so gripping and it is impossible to put down. I have not read it all but will carry on. Both your pitches are so good and the very thing that grabbed me and would not let me go till i read on.
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter