After a long time I sit to write something. These last few months, after coming back from Kolkata in May, I had the firm conviction that the world I see is completely false, a dream. I could feel it very significantly. In the nights, sitting alone in the terrace, with the clear sky of Varanasi above , facing the Ganga, I could feel the universal unperturbed consciousness. That I am that consciousness. But certain subtle thoughts of works disturbed this tranquility, I could see them as mosquitoes running around the calm ocean of stillness. They were some necessary duties which I couldn't ignore. But, I wanted to have a time alone, without any disturbances of any commitment, where I could slip into the ocean of timeless, spaceless and eventless consciousness. Prayers were not important as this would happen when it has to.
Bhagavan, my Master, visited Varanasi on the 12th of July and stayed until 24th. I had the rare opportunity this time to be with Him, at His feet and devout myself at His service. My heart could understand that this was a chance created by God and I had the mercy to use it to its fullest. Sitting at His feet, I realized that I hadn't understood a word of spirituality, that the inner world had still remained undiscovered. I thanked Him with all the gratitude of my heart for this great lesson. I wanted to know the actual reality and during His stay, some rare realizations started happening. God, or the Brahman was evident in everything, everytime. The absolute unity that Vedanta speaks was completely clear within the experiences of this mundane world, that everything is conscious and true.
I always had a regret, of not being able to stay close to Him physically. This time, the day before He left, He told me that He too didn;t stay close to His Master, but, He wanted to realize each and every world spoken by His Master. And gradually everything became a realization, the realizations translated into a reality. He told me to read the book, "Vedanta Sadhana", compilation of the letters written to Him by His Master Swami Pavitranandaji from 1978 to 1983.
After I saw Him off in the train, I came back to the Ashram and straight away started reading that book. I had read it several times before and also had conducted classes on these rare letters. I had an idea that I understand these lines. But, this time, when I started to read the first letter, I couldn't approach after a few lines. These words were not spectacular but very deep. Each word brings about a transformation, a simple path unfolded so simply. When I crossed between these words- Sharan Manan, meaning remembrance and meditation(thinking), I could see that Swamiji had explained everything about spiritual life in His first letter. These is no need to read more but to sit and practice. In the following days, just holding on these two words, I discovered that those mosquitoes are no more, neither is the awareness of the external environment, the only thing that remains is the pure, clear and spontaneous Knowledge, the Knowledge of the existence absolute.
I wanted to share this first letter of His, with a view that it might help someone, sitting somewhere in some corners of the world. Its a translation from Bengali to English, and as a person having a science background, my language capabilities were always poor. I hope I would be excused in this respect.
The letter follows thus:
Sri Ramakrishna Saranam
Purulia, 30-06-1978
Dear,
Received your letter. Though I have initiated many, yet by initiating you I received peace and bliss. Initiating into Sannyasa or Brahmacharyya has given me pleasure in all respects, but by initiating a householder( man or woman), this kind of bliss was rare. Know that I have faith in you. I expect sure success in your life.
Remember the advice of Sri Sri Thakur always, remain like brothers and sisters after one or two children.
Try to spend most of the time in your sadhana, remembrance and meditation(thinking). Perform your office work sincerely and honestly. Stress more on meditation.
Always be assured that Sri Thakur and Ma are with you. Never think of any evils for others, even unknowingly. Regard your friends and foes as one.
If you always think of the truth, then Sri Thakur will provide strength.Patience and perseverance are a prime object in the life of an aspirant.
If you maintain this for six months, you will see that you have entered into the world of realization.
With the blessings of Sri Sri Ma I am well. Inform me about how you are. I convey my heart-felt blessings to you all.
-Always your well wisher
Maharaj