The Broken Hearted Girl

It’s a nice start to the book the thee girls together for Ali 30th and then we get to know a bit more about her and you take us with her new internet man to the desert and they share a most romantic moment. You only refer generally to the four children so we don’t know much about them but assume that they all get on well So what can go wrong? Well it looks like a trip to her cousins that lands her in hospital might just be a sign of foreboding we will have to wait and see. I would have liked a bit more dialogue here and there but generally I thought it was a well crafted read.





Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley- I hope you have a moment spare to look at it

It’s a nice start to the book the thee girls together for Ali 30th and then we get to know a bit more about her and you take us with her new internet man to the desert and they share a most romantic moment. You only refer generally to the four children so we don’t know much about them but assume that they all get on well So what can go wrong? Well it looks like a trip to her cousins that lands her in hospital might just be a sign of foreboding we will have to wait and see. I would have liked a bit more dialogue here and there but generally I thought it was a well crafted read.





Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley- I hope you have a moment spare to look at it

It’s a nice start to the book the thee girls together for Ali 30th and then we get to know a bit more about her and you take us with her new internet man to the desert and they share a most romantic moment. You only refer generally to the four children so we don’t know much about them but assume that they all get on well So what can go wrong? Well it looks like a trip to her cousins that lands her in hospital might just be a sign of foreboding we will have to wait and see. I would have liked a bit more dialogue here and there but generally I thought it was a well crafted read.





Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley- I hope you have a moment spare to look at it

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

Hi. After six days on this site I am (unbelievably) still running to catch up with the people who have been kind enough to back me. Every time I log on I have thirty people to thank and review in return before I even get a chance to read some that I have picked myself from the book list. So, and I do not mean to be unhelpful, I am BACKING this on the read because I think it is every bit good enough to be in print (I think that is the criteria I should be using) but, although I have made written comments, I have no time to type up my thoughts. If you want them just message me and I promise to get to them ASAP. Otherwise, BACKED.

Dear Valerie
I have been watching your climb, congrats.
I just want to say again great book cover ( a thing of mine) and good pitch however I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Your use of short paragraphs keeps the pace of your story flowing well. You do a great job in building the character of Ally and exploring her feelings, thoughts and emmotions. Your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Valerie: Any woman who has been single, especially after a divorce, will relate to this book. Hope the chic lit genre is still doing well. I sure see a lot of people reading it on the subway. Best of luck. Jayne

HI VALERIE /THE BROKEN HEARTED GIRL

just read the prologhr and first chapter in all of the last ten minutes and it feels like one. because.
y;es, it bombs along at a nice pace from Ally's birthday in the hotel to the stop in the desert
from a male point of view i surrender and say i'm enjoying the read
this book will be pu;blished and there is a big market out there for this genre
good luck
FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
TOM BYE pleas read comment and back mine if time

HI VALERIE /THE BROKEN HEARTED GIRL

just read the prologhr and first chapter in all of the last ten minutes and it feels like one. because.
y;es, it bombs along at a nice pace from Ally's birthday in the hotel to the stop in the desert
from a male point of view i surrender and say i'm enjoying the read
this book will be pu;blished and there is a big market out there for this genre
good luck
FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
TOM BYE pleas read comment and back mine if time

Hello Valerie

Your book is set with a grasping tone. Relaxing for easy reading and flow. Your characters are vivid and realistic and reader will identify with the plot.

It was a pleasure to read this.
Backed

THE THIRD EYE
THE THIRD EYE

Hi Valerie. I'm a guy who happens to love romance, and even writes or re-writes (scriptwriting) chick flics. I'm not a critic, just a first time novel person jumping in after years of scriptwriting, however I can appreciate a good romantic drama, and I do indeed enjoy yours.

sincerely,
jim
jack & charmian london

Seems to be everything you could ask from chick lit - the single mother enjoying her time with her girlfriends .Then, when she's not really looking, she finds the man who seems to be her soul-mate and can almost read her thoughts. The end of ch 2 with Ally and Jake looking at the Milky Way is very romantic.
It's very well-written and commercial. Backed. Lynn

Well written story with good multilayered characters but now I can't get the Beyonce song out of my head.

This is well written and fun - my kind of read! Backed!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I enjoyed your prose: very thoughtful and at times witty. You have a good intuition for third person narrative. You do tend to crowd your sentences a bit, but that is something a good edit will take care of. Remember that after content, balanced sentences and flowing lines is most important. Remember that when you break a wordy sentence down, the second half that forms the next sentence will tend to be short. Adding syllables here to balance these short sentences is a perfect opportunity to add character development that breathes life into your narrative. I have not read enough to comment on plot structure, but based on the premise and the first couple of chapters I will back your writing and wish you the best. Please read some of my book, The Age of Rhinestone, when you have time, and let me know what you think.


cheers
blueboy

BROKEN HEARTED GIRL
This is an interesting story. Arial is a good main character; she’s likable and sympathetic because she tries so hard to cope even tho she’s so ill. A big thing is that altho things with Jake seem to be working well, there’s an ominous tone to this; an alert that Jake may be different from what he seems. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear Valerie
I always like a pitch that leaves me with a question. I either want to find it in the read, or answer it so I read. CONGRATS. This is a good read that is just right for curling up in the evening and immersing oneself in. congrats AGAIN. Your characters are living now in my world, and they can stay there as long as they like BIG CONGRATS.
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter

Welcome aboard, Valerie. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works brilliantly. The long pitch needs to be expanded upon. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Dear Valerie, I love your love-story - wish mine had come out like this - my memoir tells it all - that would be the day when my husband would be so kind & caring & speaking words of love, like Jake did to Ally. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)

Yes, loads of potential here. This is a very good read and should do very well. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Valerie congratulations on posting The Broken Hearted Girl. By all means your work has amazing potential.
Backed with pleasure, and will return with further comments
All the best of luck to you
Helen
The Last Dream