Ashes By Now

“Warm air blasts through the window like a dog panting in her face.” What an odd description, and it works. It’s all part of your refreshing voice, something that is usually elusive, but of which you do very well in. Dialogue – spot on. Plot engaging. Blasted through chapter one with nary a mistake ‘cept for the missing quote marks. I would lose the brackets on the song – jarred me out of the story. Perhaps you can have Sloan ‘remember’ the title. You did it well when you mentioned ‘The Pearl’ by John Steinbeck...
I’m repeating myself, but wow. Your dialogue is intelligent. Could this be another rare find, a truly fantastic book? Continue reading...
Conclusion. It is. Fantastic.
Already backed, with a big smile on my face.
Paul
www.pauldaytonscifi.com
Eye of the Idol

ASHES BY NOW by L.Andrea Mosier.

I do not regret for one moment, my brief excursion out of the comfort zone of Harper True life genre, because it gave me an opportunity to read this great book. It starts with instantly recognisable quality writing of the highest standard and by the end has never faltered for an instant. As the author is a denizen of a writing school, I expected a "construction" similar to the once common painting by numbers kit: but no: a cleverly woven plot, clearly depicted characters set in a wide and vividly described canvas, a finely controlled lyrycism inspired by popular songs and music; furthermore a finely modulated and controlled internal tension holds the reader unremittingly. A bonus was the interlude in Ireland and reflections on W.B.Yeat's Under Ben Bulben. In Chapter 11 all the story's strands are logically and neatly drawn together while the whole composition comes to a sweet and gentle close like music. I can't see this book on Authonomy for much longer as it is definitely headed for the bookstores. Great literary value! Well worth paying good money for. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1, 2 & 3.

Ashes by Now.

The intricacies of human behaviour unravel through a police investigation and a wounded artist’s inner conflict.

Unusual devices from a psychiatric ‘readback’ to a police investigation are enhanced by sensory images appropriate to their point of occurrence.

Well managed povs and a narrative voice that weaves effortlessly from present to past ensure the smooth running of the careful plotting.

The turmoil seething under the placidity and romanticism of a backwoods community continues the tradition of Faulkner, Metalious and Childs, to name a few disparate genres bound by a common focus.

Backed.

Azam Gill
“Blasphemy!”

ASHES BY NOW

I read this through to the end, because I wanted to know if Sloan caught up with the plastic surgeon who carved out the alien face she has to endure, whether she finds out the truth about Judith's death and whether she can develop a lasting relationship with someone who can commit to her. There were other mysteries and intrigues along the way, but these were the main ones that kept me going throughout.
I like the way you filtered the information about Sloan's accident slowly, through dialogue and Sloan's thoughts, not in a hefty chunk to confuse and even bore us. Via conversation with a friend, you cleverly reveal what has been happening while Sloan was in a coma...all feeling natural and uncontrived but in effect revealing what the reader needs to know and also a lot about Sloan's personality and past.
Sloan has a strong and unique voice and I willed her on through the sometimes dark days of her recovery, hoping she'd be able to remember again and to find the love that seemed to elude her before her accident. She has a lot to adapt to. She must change her career and her ex-husband has died. Her face is different, more like a barbie doll she think, and so she encounters different reactions from people, especially the men. All a lot to cope with..and then there is Hank.
You show us Sloan's POV and also Hank's and we realise they love each other but also misunderstand and sometimes have doubts. How is this going to survive with all the changes Sloan must make? Once she is well on the way to recovery, investigating the murder of the wife of one of Hank's friends, she becomes entangled in the politics and insidious gossip of the small town that once rejected her mother. Feeling confused and isolated, she finds herself attracted to Hank's friend, the main suspect in the case.
However, as Sloan becomes convinced the friend did not murder his wife, Hank suspects he is not telling the truth. The gulf between them widens and it looks like their relationship won't survive.
All the while I'm thinking about the surgeon who's run off the Texas and then onto Mexico. What has he got to do with this and how was he linked to Sloan's previous career as a singer and songwriter? Seemingly unconnected threads start to come together in this intriguing and exciting story. The characters are well developed and the dialogue realistic. There's humour, danger and sadness along the way and Sloan begins to uncover the truth.
Good writing! This should be published already! BACKED.
Cherry G.
The Girl From Ithaca

You weave a great story here. You've got the hook set in nicely...so many questions for us and your MC. And the idea to have Sloan transformed (no, I guess it's more of a metamorphosis, perhaps, yes?) is really great because we're learning about her as she discovers her new self.

The line about her deciding she was going to be more careful with words, choosing them carefully, could be used to describe your tight, economical style.

I also like the inclusion of so much music to add another dimension to your scenes. If only I was familiar with all of of them. ;)

I don't say it very often here...so please know I don't toss it out lightly.... This is worthy of hitting the book stands. And when it does I think you will sell, sell, sell. I can even see Sloan as a great series character.

All the best and here's wishing you great success with this.

Eric

A story that is full of tension, which grips the reader right at the start.
You paint a dark picture and yet it still appears full of colour.
The characters are strong and the plot flows and is fluent.
The language you use blends in well and add to the narrative.
You writing appears dream like in its quality, which lends well to the subject that you are writing about.
Pov is perfect and dialogue fills out your scenes brilliantly.
A good read and I will rate this high.
Well done.

PS Backed

Hi,
I owe you a read from a long way back - apologies, haven't been on here much lately.
But some thoughts, which I hope will be helpful.
Some excellent passages, powerful probably because they were understated - eg - the passage ‘When she wakes....Sloane thinks about answering’ / ‘She makes up her mind....never waste words again.’
Also great description - eg - ‘There’s a layer of pollen on everything, dead bugs suspended in cobwebs.’ - very evocative.
You clearly have what it takes.
But there were some parts that jarred with me and I'm going to mention them because the most useful critiques I received on here pointed out things for me to reassess.
Rain ‘swirling in a playful dance’ doesn’t ring true as the description of the beginning of a thunderstorm. That rain would be much stronger. Especially when it goes on to become a tornado. Relating the car being tossed by the tornado to a ballet dancer pirouetting is a problem for me - I need something harsh, not pleasant - the connotations are wrong.
A couple of times I feel you stray into ott territory - eg - ‘burns its evil five syllables...’ - evil and syllable seems ott. / ditto with ‘faucet’
And (being a bit picky) can a coin have an 'end'? / 'everyone looks young when they're scared' didn't ring true for me - sometimes the opposite is the case - fear can age people, so I'd be a wee bit careful of dogmatic generalizations.
Problem with parts that jar is that they may jolt the reader out of the story and make the reader aware of the author - which isn't what you want. In your case the quality is there, but trimming /editing / 'killing your darlings' would tauten the whole thing and maximize the impact.

The best of luck with this, and again apologies for taking so long to get back to you.

Margaret

I started this and I kept on, because here is a great story, and some great writing. I kept wanting to know where your clever writing would take us.

I felt that some of your passages, while well written, obscured the line of the plot and made reading harder than it needed to be. The story is wonderfully cast, believable and well observed, but some of the writing, is uneasy, and could be smoothed out, to make our journey easier.

That said, I think you handle this beautifully and I rate it. Good stuff.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

What a superb opener and almost too brief. But then I do like to get my head into the landscape and feel the force of nature! The quality of your writing grabs us from the first sentence and keeps us there looking out for Sloan as she rebuilds her life. The musicality is beautifully tied in to add atmosphere and emotion, creating a film like quality. Undoubtedly a wonderful read and as ever a pleasure to back.

regards and best wishes

richard

The fast moving events of the first chapter are almost overwhelming and the musicality beautifully tied in to tease and entice. I was almost sorry when the car flipped and wanted a bit more nature prior to the tornado to paint more of that dramatic scene. This is superbly written and carries us with ease and skill through the unfolding events. Backed once again with pleasure

Good stuff. Well written, interesting, straight into my Top 10.

I really like the pitch for this and will be reading it tomorrow! :)

Lou
~The Keenest Sorrow

Didn't take a breath - fucking brilliant! I'm going to read all of this ;)

Sorry about the language :$

Mick :)

just to be first so i have to be rearranged

rx

I've read your first chapter and there were times when I thought it was brilliant and times when I felt a little lost. I thought the idea was great, though in my time on authonomy there have been rather a lot of books where the MC can't remember anything about themselves. However, your slant was fresh enough for me to still find it intriguing. What I felt it suffered from most however, was how broken up the chapter is.

I didn't get into the story at all until the scene with the hospital. In the first piece I suddenly learnt the car was turned over and I wasn't sure if it was Sloan's car or not. Anyway I felt even more lost when we were suddenly in school (or something?) where Steinbach was being read and I just can't fathom how it was relevant.

Yet when we learn about the new face and her loss of memory and the difficulty with speech it all becomes very interesting and the length of this section allowed me to settle in for the first time. I was slightly perturbed again with the break between that and Candy arriving which I feel would have been much better if narrative linked the two.

Nevertheless we move on and what I found to suddenly disappear is Sloan's difficulty at finding the right word. Even when she has to lie to the secretary there is no apparent difficulty in using untrue words. Even more frustrating to this brain issue is that you described how the accident happened, but Sloan never asks why. She seems to know that already, there's no explanation to her as to what happened.

Then the next problem I found, and this really irked me, was the long story about Hank. How did she remember all of that when Jake remains largely a mystery? Anyway a lot of that information was retold over the following of the chapter - and that was the same with her relationship with Hank. You ust have told us three times that she got him going in more or less the same words.

It was also a little confusing to learn of Sloan's two jobs. It was only at the end that we learnt why she was working in the physiotherapy place...but it was very confusing having the singing and then the two earlier on. It wasn't intriguing for the reader, but made the story harder to follow.

The characters were the strong point. Even with just a short glimpse of Candy we knew what she was like. Dialogue was brilliant too - that was probably where I felt I got to know the characters so well.

Joe

Loved the dialogue in your story. Happy to put your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck!
Sue50

Hi Andrea,
You're a very fine writer. I love the Steinbeck/Pearl analysis - very clever, and a great way to make your point. I jumped into this story feet first and kept on going. I did have a couple of questions: Why were her nearly first words related to plastic surgery? It seemed odd that she would know this. I think it would better actually if she didn't and then looked at her face and was stunned. Also, not sure why the surgeon wouldn've made her a blonde while he was at it. That just seemed a bit "off." But overall, you have a great story, and great characters, and your pitch is totally winning. Well starred.
Andi
Animal Cracker

Reading your pitch, I rather think that it is women's magazines that use the faces of beautiful women. Men's magazines are not so lofty.

Will start reading the book now...

I read your first chapter.

General comments: A touching start. An intriguing main character. Good deep point of view. Vivid descriptions. Good tension. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) You used the word 'rushing' twice in the first paragraph.
2) 'It's hit or miss' is cliche. Consider writing the same idea, but in a fresh way. Same thing with 'She's batting a thousand.'
3) "Bastarrrrd Plasssstic surgeonnnn," Sloan says. No need to capitalize 'Plasssstic.'
4) For my tastes, the conversation with Candy needs more internal physical reactions by Sloan. As written, Sloan isn't reacting much internally to the conversation. This makes her come across as indifferent. Is that what you intended?
5) Candy says Sell the house, I'll help you. Put a comma after 'says and quote marks around the dialogue. Same thing with Sloan's reply.
6) "Coma and Liquid diet," he said. No need to capitalize 'Liquid.'
7) 'They'd taken long walks down Hillsboro Road ... ' Technically, 'they' refers to Sloan and her father.
8) ' ... checked your email, and facebooked people, ...' Capitalize 'facebooked.'
9) 'By the time two-and two added up to four, ... ' Remove the hyphen after the first 'two.'
10) 'She had gone a solid week evoking love-lust stares from every male in Nashville, some from 30 feet away.' Spell out numbers 1-99.

I hope this critique will help you further polish your all important first chapter. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Would you please take a look at "Savannah Fire?"

Have a fabulous day.

Al

Hi Andrea. It's been a while since I had your book on my bookshelf. I've kept it on my watch list and read more of it when I have time. When you move closer to the ED, I plan to put it back up. I truly like your writing style. Sloan is well developed as a character, and as much as she comes across as tough in the beginning, she shows her softer side later. You're a talented writer with a knack for painting vivid visualizations. I could see the people standing around chatting about Sloan at the rehab center, with her standing there taking it all in. Very clever. A great read!
Best wishes, Lisa
Shadow Puppet

What can I say one of the finest writers to come out of Nashville and yes there is more to come for certain when our brave author finds the time.

Save our forests!

RICHARDX

I like that you open the story with a bang and keep the second chapter rolling along with the murder investigation. Chapter one dragged a bit and felt a little long. You don't need to go too far in depth on background. Only reveal what's important and that feel compelled to let everything out at once. Still, I found this to be a fun story and Sloan is a great lead character.

I'll back this.

Brian
Mute

You write like a pro. The use of cars and musical references to evoke a time and place reminds me of Stephen King. I look forward to reading on.

Unusual and intriguing story, Sloan's slowly recovering snatches of memory painted perfectly with random thoughts and images and a great way to reveal the back story. Enjoying this and reading on.. W/L in the meantime. Good luck with this.
Babs

Hi Lisa, I am really enjoying this, it's different. Sloan is an interesting main character. I am pleased that we (the reader) learns from the outset that she had dark hair until the accident and facial reconstruction surgery when it then became blonde. [many times I have read a good book, formed a picture of the hero or heroine only to get an author description about ten chapters in which is so unlike my vision that I feel quite cheated].
Great formatting, makes for a smooth read. I intend to read the whole twelve chapters. I look forward to your new svelt manuscript on Jan 1st.

Good Luck with it. Mary

I really like this book and your writing. It jumps around a bit, but I'm wondering if that is on purpose because of Sloan's memory deficit. I'm enjoying reading it though not quite sure where it's headed. I will read on to see.

I am backing and star rating it for its interest and plot which is very entertainint and keeps me wanting to read more. Best of luck!

If you wouldn't mind, please take some time to read a bit of THE TIMID HEART and consider backing it, as well.

Thanks,

Debbie Martin/The TIMID HEART

Really like the action packed first chapter. Sloan's frustration with her memory loss; her awareness of problems with verbalizing and thought processing is so moving.
The humour comes across well in dialogue such as .." No plankton.'

I shall comment after a few more chapters. Good luck with this.

Mary

How totally wonderful you are, Andrea!! :) Thank you so very much for again backing my memoirs/testimony book? :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I just looked to see if I had ******-ed your book & it is ******-rated (6 gold ******'s) :) - could you please ****** mine, too. :) Every ****** -ing & at least 24 hour backing moves our books up on authonomy lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf as long as possible because I'm 8 from the editor's desk & trying to be in the top 5 to be chosen, the end of December :) - I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 20 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after 9 months trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks earlier this year.

I am very happy to back this book again for it's originality and excellent scene setting. Sarah

Very atmospheric. Sharply detailed. Found myself enjoying Ashes By Now right from the off because we have a complete scene painted in the initial sentence. This has a masterly effect; "trust me I'm a writer and I know what I'm doing". My one gripe: overuse of 'she'.

Dear Andrea,

Bill is back again, this time to place "Ashes by Now" on my shelf for at least 36 hours to guarantee credit. Your thrilling novel deserves strong support, and I wish you the very best of luck.

Bill
"The Doctor of Summitville"l

My girlfriend said to check out your book so I have w-listed it with the intention of getting to it soon. Mine is THE VIRUS which of course I invite you to read. Hers is SHADOW PUPPET.

Love your pitch.

Emmett
(E M Delaney)
THE VIRUS

Definitely one to hold on to for a bit. Wish I had more time to sit and read tonight. Backed and rated.

Cat
"Lies & Love"

Hi Andrea! Thank you for re backing London. Will be re backing yours...give me a day or two.
:-)
Hope you're doing well!
jim

Dear L Andrea, this was a great book that is going in the wrong direction. So I want to help this writer get the recognition they deserve and reach the ED's desk this month. There was moments of such assured writing, that made we want to carry on reading forever. I find the premise of such a well written story, promising and very professional. While I may be no critic, my job is to seek out literature that could last a little longer, than your average store book shelf filler. And this I was glad to say, a great find. Fresh, innovative and inspiring. Good luck and best wishes with your book. And please look out for backing. Take care, Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

You have a wonderful ear for dialogue, but I wonder if the story could be tightened up a bit. It seems a little long at 135k words.

This is a great story, and I love the short flashes of scenes in the opening chapter, which blend wonderfully together and by the end of the chapter have created an intriguing whole. Sloan is an interesting main character, unlike any I recall reading, and I think the premise of her sudden change of face and brain and life makes for a thrilling read. Other than one missed quotation early at "Long story, and then "stand aside" this work is polished and feels ready to go. I look forward to reading more because I think this is a very easy book to get lost in. I'll stop now to give high stars and congratulate you on a very promising future.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

I'll leave my notes as I read.

The story feels heavy at this point. As if she has weathered a storm--her own bad decisions and then misfortune to boot.

The 45 rpm simile was great.

I get the feeling Daire was important.

Whatever the Old Man is, I love it.

The tone really changes in the states. For one the dialogue. For two, something else. I can't put my finger on it.

I don't know what the movement was precisely, but it's as if we've gone full circle--back home. By the way the house is amazing to read about.

Any gun person will want to know what brand, the specifics of the revolver. Me, I want to know the ammunition too, range of targets, etc. A lot of variables here. Yes, that's over kill--but maybe give a little more.

By the way, for Sloan to want a very powerful handgun tips me that some serious stuff has gone down in her life.

Now it comes out--the court.

The gun fight. Must put it all to rest. I assume, at last. As if there could have been no other solution.

A lot of resolution here. It all winds down. A slow, gratifying resolution.

I'm not sure how I feel about the poem--if it's Sloan's fine. Otherwise, I resist it.

Excellent writing. Compelling characters and rollicking plot. That's why I revisited this sucker and threw it back up on my shelf. Well done. Truly deserving of the Editor's Desk.

J. Moore
Vigilante

Good work. I loved your ending. Backed :)

This is a very special book. Well written, original and gripping. The main characters are likeable and well drawn. They are human and flawed which adds to their charm. I really enjoyed what I have read so far and will come back and read more when I have time. I have no criticism to add at all and usually I find something. Well done, memphisgirl, this is a good book and a pleasure to read. The moment I have a space, I will back it. I will definitely buy it WHEN it is published.Best wishes.Fontaine.

I found myself enjoying this one! A really good idea and great writing. Characterisation is great as is dialogue. I liked the musical elements - they give a really unique feel to the story. Definitely one I'd like to keep reading!

A highly descriptive read, with attention to detail. Best wishes for the ED.

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

I'm a musician,composer,lyricist. So, I could relate to this book. I loved the way you handled her thought processes, still utilizing the language of music after the accident. Ashes By Now deserves to be backed and I hope to enjoy the rest of the book this evening!

C.S.Poulsen
THE INSIDERS mg/ya Could you please check out my book as well? Thanks!

Thanks for taking my offer to trade reads. While waiting for you, I decided to go first. I think one of your biggest strengths is dialogue. You are able to make the story move quickly without losing the reader on what is going on. Nicely done. Backed.
Hope you will enjoy my novel.
~Richard
Twin Fates

Hi, Memphisgirl. Thanks for your words about my book. I just read the first chapter of yours, and I am in awe of your structure (a lot of seemingly random threads that get woven right before the reader's eyes) and the descriptive language is apt and original. Add the premise of a woman getting a whole new wrapping and it makes for an intriguing read. I find your writing to be very confident and bold. I'm putting it on my shelf right now.

Strong, convincing writing. I wish I had time to read to the end. I was in with Sloan right from the beginning, and your pitch made me read in the first place. Congratulations, best of luck with this, backed, with pleasure.
Ali, The Fireghost

Terrific opening chapter. Very vivid and visual descriptions, I could almost smell the tornado! Excellent writing makes for a compelling read. Backed with pleasure.

Hi L. Andrea,
I love your story. What else can I say other than I want to be able to pick this up at the store along with everyone else who should be reading your work! I am excited to back you on your way to the editor's desk!
Sincerely, Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession
(I would love to hear what you think!)

Backed, please take a look at Sugar & Spice. Thanks, Saffina. http://saffinadesforges.wordpress.com

So pleased that you've backed me. Have put you on my WL. Shall get back very soon. Yours M

If this is a first work, it is magnificant. Author has a great command of dialogue and setting the stage for later action and complication. The pitch is also well constructed, drawing readers into the first chapter, when, again, keeps them there for the chapters to come.

A thoroughly intriguing synopsis and top class writing here, it certainly has all it needs to be an engrossing read.. I found myself reading through each chapter quite easily, and then wanting to know more.. well done you - Backed!
Diane
Good Blood

L. This is outstanding on so many levels. Your storyline and characters are so well developed. You have such depth in both. The cast of characters are so well rounded and your dialogue so natural that we step right into this web without hesitation. Your opening scene has us emotionally invested in Sloan immediately.

There are so many intrigueing and intricate facets to this story, it propels you with such ease, that before you know it the book is finished. Perfect pace,excellent humor, imporant life lessons, murder, love and friendship..I ask you, what more can one want in a novel.

You are extremely gifted and you will have an instant following once this book hits the charts. What is really refreshing is your style, it has a uniqueness about it, a fingerprint which will help set you apart it such a competitive genre..Backed without Hesitation Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart