Rayna of Nightwind - The Beasts At The Gate (Book 1)

Hello. I have to say that I absolutely loved this. It is one of the very few that have caught my eye on here, and this is a 'special one' meaning that I think you have a great talent for writing and I think this will go far! The story is told effortlessly and the reader is drawn in by the old hag and her unknown intentions, her magic and of her journey. You have a great way with words and your story telling is unique. The plot is good and unusual and I loved the charecters. I have only managed to read the first chapter, but I will definately be back to read more as I have to read other's work, like yourself who have read mine and return the read and critique. I hope you make it to the ed's desk because unlike a lot on here, you deserve it!!
Best wishes and loads of good luck.
Lisa.
Grimeon's Pass.

This looks like an interesting YA novel with a great premise. It kind of reminds me of the Harry Potter Series. Extremely well written. Backed. Lisa

This is absolutely superb: a stunning mastery of language, beautiful descriptions, and this is a fabulous YA piece that is by no means limited to a young adult audience. I'd buy it in a second.

Abi xxx

'Milky and clouded with age'. Gorgeous!!! There are so many things to admire about your book. I enjoyed your pitch and was most impressed with the sheer intelligence of your prose. This is a wonderful fantasy for the discerning YA reader and I am delighted to back it.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Veru good indeed, feels like a cross between Wizard of Oz and Doctor Who and tied together in a refreshing tale with strong well defined characters, brilliant imagination and story.

Hey, I backed your book. Can't wait to read it! Sounds interesting...and I like the cover. When you get the time please look at my book EVERAFTER: REIGH OF THE NIGHT CREATURES. I would love to know what you think!

About the book:

This is an adventure that is sure to keep you guessing from start to finish. Travel to a mysterious world known as EVERAFTER, where you will meet strange creatures and embark on wild adventures. Your tour guide is a mighty griffin named Apollo. You will encounter evil Night Creatures, who want nothing more than to destroy the beautiful world of EVERAFTER. The Night Creatures have taken over the reflective power of the moon, causing night time to be so dark that the friendly creatures of EVERAFTER can not see. Awful things are happening in the darkness. Will the secret to restoring the light be found in time to save EVERAFTER from eternal darkness?

This book is for children, but it will also appeal to adult readers. Join James, Charlotte, young Susan and their dog Clovensport as they embark on the greatest adventure of their lives!

Thanks so much!
Casey

Sounds intriguing!!!!! I would buy this book :D

I confess I have difficulty with this genre but one thing I always admire, is the amazing imagination needed to create stories such as this.
From what I've read, I'm sure this is a book which will be well received by lovers of this genre. The pitch is complex but promises much to come and your writing is confident and expressive.
Happy to support this for its potential. Margaret.

Dear RA Baker, your book was a surprising switch, to the usual science fiction foibles we are finding more and more of, every big Hollywood fil, that flops trying to plug one. Yours has natural pace, with a point beneath the main story, which is the usual strength, honour and the need to survive. But the allegory that lingers, is a lot like the great eighties sci - fi, but with a stronger cast, and a leading Lady. This should land more on the desk of fantasy Authors, as HC have so obviously pointed out. Its just commercial crap they are looking for, not something that is originally brilliant. But good luck and best wishes with your book. It was a fascinating read. Take care, Cicuta. [ Carl, Arcane ].

I see what you're doing here. Throwing a modern person into a fantastical reality head first is definitely a way to start a story, but my concern is that you're doing that too quickly. I don't know about the character enough to actually care what happens when she crashes and is presented with the another reality. Maybe building up her character first would help - we know that she's defiant and fiery - is there a way for us to see it instead of hearing it before hand?
On the other hand, I really like your narrative, even though it's a bit wordy at times. You have a definite voice and your word choice is commandable, you obviously have a gift for describing surroundings and people.

Best of luck with this.

E. Yazykova (Silver Flows East)

A captivating fantasy. Great theme. Colorful, complex characters. Realistic conversations. Excellent sense of place. Provocative narrative. Well placed twists. Inventive plot. Great dramatic tension. Awesome world building. Surefooted, accomplished writing. An impressive read. Backed.

Good opening chapter. Smooth and entertaining.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

I think you have the potential of a really interesting book. I have found in some places that it is a bit wordy. But form the most part have found it a very enjoyable read. I hope you will take time to look at my book, Under the Veil of Darkness.

Robert Mourningstar.

RAYNA OF NIGHTWIND – THE BEASTS AT THE GATE
R. A. Baker

Excellent world building. Exquisite detail and characterization. Throughout the chapters, you remain true to the characters and their individual personalities.

In Chapter 7 you change point of view from Rayna to Keris and back again. Maybe that is ok even though we are told often not to do it.

Reading Chapter 9, I can't get my mind around the stubbornness of Rayna and now she has gone and entered through the gate into the City of Lemec. Ensuing chapters find her with the same impatient attitude. She is a rather annoying heroine for this novel. Nevertheless, you sustain that personality.

The true evil of Aris is realized when she finally can no longer restrain her hateful feelings toward Cattana. I fear she has gone over the line with her vengeance and will no doubt pay heavily for her deeds.

Oh no! I get to Chapter 19 and it is not the end. Armageddon? Oh dear. Now I see you have called this incomplete. All I can say is that I wish it were not so. I really feel the need to know how it ends.

Highly entertaining. Glad I backed it.

Mary Enck
A King in Time

a brilliant fantasy- readable and full of adventure. descriptive narrative, too. on my watchlist...
read SEASONS.............

To R.A.Baker (Rayna Nightwind - The Beast at the Gate.

I really like this, a lot more than I thought I would. Ideal for the YA sector. I do think it will be wel received in the bookshops. I'm BACKING it.

Frank James (The Contractor)

Cover is excellent. This is a enjoyable story. I assume you have the other book's stories sketched out? Backing it.
Hope you have the time to assess my chidrens' book - paperbats [Jerry]

You have a wonderful, quite enviable style of writing. It is a superb read and I have to say that , for a genre I would not normally read, I found it a great pleasure to take in. So I backed you. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Those that have experienced vivid dreams realize the possibility of magic and parallel universes. Rayna evokes forgotten dreams. I like its action, characters and story very much.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

heh, good YA, I think it might appeal to more than just a young adult aduience, seems like a fun adventure for sure.

this is writing skill at it's finest. Well crafted piece of work. No nitpicks, well done & backed.

An interesting piece of fantasy- and some good insights into the relationship between magic and science

Lynne Ellison


The Green Bronze Mirror

This looks like an interesting YA novel with a great premise. It kind of reminds me of the Harry Potter Series. Extremely well written. Backed. Lisa

Highly imaginative and impeccably written. You have a particular gift for description, and at times, a great turn of phrase. eg. 'the overbearing sun,' and 'the chipped fountains spouting vines rather than water.'
I thought your book very good and have no hesitation in backing it. Marj.

Hello. I have to say that I absolutely loved this. It is one of the very few that have caught my eye on here, and this is a 'special one' meaning that I think you have a great talent for writing and I think this will go far! The story is told effortlessly and the reader is drawn in by the old hag and her unknown intentions, her magic and of her journey. You have a great way with words and your story telling is unique. The plot is good and unusual and I loved the charecters. I have only managed to read the first chapter, but I will definately be back to read more as I have to read other's work, like yourself who have read mine and return the read and critique. I hope you make it to the ed's desk because unlike a lot on here, you deserve it!!
Best wishes and loads of good luck.
Lisa.
Grimeon's Pass.

Dear R A Baker

I love yuor turn on elements and magical terms, quite original. I was finding that you have too many comma's for me to read smoothly - but that could be my reading style.

Great visualisation and lovely language - i wish you all the best with it.

Amberly

RA,

Great pitch. Not sure about starting the work with the list of schools though . . .

After that though, I had not a single thing to offer by way of constructive criticism.

This is that rare thing, original and well executed fantasty.

Backed with pleasure.

This is absolutely superb: a stunning mastery of language, beautiful descriptions, and this is a fabulous YA piece that is by no means limited to a young adult audience. I'd buy it in a second.

Abi xxx

'Milky and clouded with age'. Gorgeous!!! There are so many things to admire about your book. I enjoyed your pitch and was most impressed with the sheer intelligence of your prose. This is a wonderful fantasy for the discerning YA reader and I am delighted to back it.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Dear R.A.,
This is the first fantasy book I've encountered that includes the theme of telepathy. That makes it different from most of the other books, which is a good thing! I like your writing style. Cover art is great, too!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)
Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

Hi R. A., I enjoyed the storytelling of the hag and her lessons. Your style is involving and when the hag thinks that the stone will make her a goddess, the scene was visual in the lake. Rayna is inviting to follow, and she’s also told with the same attention to character motives, her decision and her brooding on her father’s death, during the rain. The transportation into the other realm was done smoothly so I was curious to follow. Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Readable and an enjoyable tale. Backed.

Now fantasy and I don't bond well but what makes this so much more readable for me, is the illuminating and well considered use of description. From your first paragraph about the hag, I warmed to the story because you vividly brought to life the scenario and characters.
Writers of this genre always amaze me with the strength of their imaginations and you are no exception. Beautifully written and fascinating, this tale must surely appeal to those who enjoy such journeys into the unreal.
Backed. Margaret.

Veru good indeed, feels like a cross between Wizard of Oz and Doctor Who and tied together in a refreshing tale with strong well defined characters, brilliant imagination and story.

Hi RA
This is well structured and formulated and makes for a nice read. You know your mythology well and it reads very naturally. It is all very visual and I could picture your scenes in my head really cleanly. Some great characters too.
DP Walker
Five Dares

I’m usually not a lover of prologues, yet I think yours works very well!
I very much like the classical mythology structure to this; it gives it a great frame to work off. Plus I think the crossing the threshold is done brilliantly. Great characterisation is building onto a great storyline. I really liked this!

I like your Prologue and the explanation of "The Twelve Schools of Psi-magic." It helps to set up the rest of your story perfectly. You have crafted a most unique and interesting storyline and you develope the character of Rayna very well. Your imaginative writing makes your fantasy a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

R.A: wishing you the best on this website. But remember the caveat: you can only get out of it what you put into it. My thoughts are this: both pitches work for this genre. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my novel when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Hi R A, I read chapter one and enjoyed it. Your punctuation etc seems sound. The story flows along and the hook at the end is a good, if somewhat predictable one. I wondered why the witch was choosing to touch the stone when she did and had not seen it close up to touch before, or why if she was so powerful, did she need a guard to help her.
I liked the idea of East and west Tarin--those with power and those with not.
I'd look at lines like, she shrieked, snickers, cackled etc. They lack real power -- almost comical.
Suddenly silent -- falling silent is an instantaneous act, so you don't need suddenly.
I hope this is helpful.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Fantasy and Sci-Fi are not my normal reading but there is so much on here that it is hard to avoid. At the beginning, "Gnarred hands" should be "Gnarled hands". Once I began to read I was soon involved in the tale and found myself in a page-turner. You should do very well on here, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear R.A., I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed edited memoir version, "He Love Me, He Loves Me Not?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Line 2 small steps you have smalls

Beautifully written
backed
THE THIRD EYE

Dear R.A.
Oh the book cover, I think I am getting a fetish on book cover you know. It is great. Your sort an long pitch grabbed me, would not let me go, I read on. Great read, so well written and your characters are still in my head and wont go home. well i dont want them to yet. I have not finished reading this book but will carry on and also hope you put up the rest soon.
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

I'm amazed stones as in Stonehenge don't appear more in fantasy since both they and the genre must appeal to the same sort of people, I would have thought . The presence of the stone in this makes it different and somehow more believable - perhaps something like this happened at some distant time in history.
Your dialogue is excellent and the scenes you describe as vivid as any picture. The guard hearing the laughter then realising it's his is wonderful and eerie. backed. lynn

This is extremely imaginative and well crafted so far! backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

RAYNA OF NIGHTWIND
This is an imaginative story. You’ve created a mix of interesting characters and an interesting world for them to live in. Rayna is a good main character because she’s thrown so unexpectantly into this alternative world. Nephredom makes a good villain because he’s so powerful. I’m adding it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

Read chapter 1 and 12. You write wel and with conviction. Rayna makes for an engaging MC and the events around her are well described without too much info dumping. Dialogue is good, a few more speech tags could be useful in longer discussions. Otherwise, a good addition to the genre with many original touches.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

This is nicely written, from the accident to the stranger following into confusion you just had to read on. It is what Science fiction is all about. Happy to back. ps: Loved the cover, wish I have a designer like yours.
Keith - Plagarma

Dear R.A., I love your "Psi-Magic" list - amazing. :) All I can say is that I'm sure glad I'm not Rayna - it would be too much for me - her heroism is amazing. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

backed :)
Love, Susie :)