The Candyfloss Room

I liked the edgy undercurrent to the two chapters, particularly the scenes in the old house and in the guarded way Sarah is treated by the parishioners. You capture the middle stages of dementia really well: sensitive and accurate in its depiction, and the portrait of Mary, the old lady, as a whole, was finely crafted.
So too were the descriptions of the old house, and I could see the motes of dust in the air, and the shadows in the corridors: there was something slightly menacing about the description of the house, and the two chapters give the promise of a mystery to be revealed, certainly in relation to Michael, the old lady, and perhaps the apparently affable parishioner-gardener.

The writing is clear, confident and unpretentious; the pace steady, but there are no dull passages and the two chapters kept my attention throughout. I would certainly continue reading this when additional chapters are loaded.

There was an unsettling pov change in ch. 1, with the switch to Sarah's brother. It took me a while to tune in to the switch, and it might be useful to signal the transition on the page with an asterisk, or similar.

Nice work; I enjoyed this very much.

The pitch was a good one and it made me want to read on. I’m not too convinced that losing her virginity would cause that much guilt and I’m a child of the fifties. The story moves onto there and we move on to the back-story of her life and the fact that she is estranged from her family. I think you are a good writer I like the fact that you lay your work out in small bites which makes for easy reading. I like your cover I would pick this up if it were in a book shelf.
Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley – Please spend a moment to take a look

Yes, this is quirky. I liked the protagonist and her gentle insecurities. Backed. LJ, Tao of Love and Software

A very poignant and emotional story. I think you have something good here, it just needs a little polishing. Get hold of Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King. I think you will find it a great help.

"What's the matter dear?" Comma after 'matter.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas. There are more instances of this type of problem. Other than that, your brilliant story grabbed me and kept me riveted. Credible characters. Crisp dialogue. Confident narrative. Vital writing. I absolutely love this thoughtfully composed story. Backed.

The long pitch caught my attention. This flows nicely and I enjoyed the characters too. I would break up the longer paragraphs for ease of reading. Backed.

The dying mother - what woman can compete with that? But Sarah has virtually abandoned her own parents for Michael. Who is Warren, and what does he know, 'tells Sarah the truth about Michael'? Ah, Warren is the previously 'unseen' drummer? Then the elderly lady, 'pointing to the tree Sarah had considered to be most in need of destruction'. It's another world, inside the old lady's house, aging and slightly sinister - a wave to the gardener - and back into the 50s 'the fridge humming like a bumble bee'. The first stages of dementia ... a fragile memory ... but not for everything, 'She's dead, she killed herself'.

Back to the graveyard to photograph the dead rock stars. Church the next day, and the gardener again. Sarah daydreams in her isolation, and then visits the only person she has made any real inroads with, in fact, the only person who actually needs her. But that's not the case, and Sarah's strange guilt surfaces again. Turns out the dead band have more significance than it first seemed. It also seems that so does Warren ... he's hoping what he knows about Michael will bring Sarah back into his life.

A perplexing and darkly atmospheric psychological mystery / romance, Tracy, where all aspects of human life are interwoven: love, guilt, betrayal, loss ... most of all, loneliness. Sarah is the abandoned soul at the centre of it, as lost in her way as Mary. Perhaps between them, they can make some sense of their lives. Remarkable characterisation with some delightful writing ... backed.

Possible nits: Watch out for the occasional series of sentences beginning with the same word, e.g. 'She'. Perhaps modify the sentence structure, e.g. 'Sighing with relief, she snatched up a letter...' Perhaps break up some of the longer paragraphs to make reading easier.

This is a gentle read. I like the emotions you are already developing in the first chapter. With some good editorial advice, I think you've got a good story.

Sarah seems like a complex, well intentioned character, undergoing some changes. A little work needed in the area of mechanics, but story-wise this is something I enjoyed and Sarah is a character I'd enjoy spending a novel with. Love the light and airy style to your prose.
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Tracy, your first chapter was powerful and convincing enough to sweep me into the next. Good job on both sections.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Thanks for checking out FLBF and your nice comment! One note from reading here, first paragraph, "Above board" means something was ethical and good. Not what you meant to say, it seems. Just the opposite. A few punctuation errors, monor stuff! Intriging so far! Backed.

Dear Tracy Lynn Buchanan,

The Candyfloss Room, cotton candy, spun sugar, it’s been a long time. You can’t or can tell a book by its cover? Don’t know about this one: dementia, guilt, religious sect…might need that sweet treat to feed the upcoming angst? Lost innocence and lots of pure white space for time to digest and reflect. There’s much being spun here, intriguing, but only two chapters? Is more coming?

Best and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

You have a nice style that conveys the emotions of Sarah, particularly the guilt that seems to always be with her. Well done.

Anne
Closeted Courage

What an intriguing premise! This is shaping up to be a rattling good read, and I hope you post more soon.
On my shelf.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

The secret that Warren knows about Michael, the position Warren had as mentor to Marcus, and the problems that Marcus would come to discuss with Warren are unclear in these first two chapters. This makes me want to read on to understand what is happening. Also, what is it that makes Sarah feel so guilty about eloping with Michael? The situation developing between Mary and Sarah is intriguing. I'll come back and read more if I get a little more time. Backed for now.

Graveyards, senile old ladies, mysterious gardeners, manipulative brothers - you've got the lot. I was about to say 'this is a fun read', until it sounded ridiculous under those circumstances, but I've said it anyway. There is an interesting story brooding here.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Dear Tracy,
Your pitch is very compelling. I like your cover art too! Sarah is a unique MC. Very nice writing style!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

A nice start to what promises to be a complex and entertaining novel. Well done. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Just read the first couple of chapters and though its not my usual reading sphere - I really found it easy to slip into the place and people dynamics. backed with pleasure!

An intriguing read, this is one of those books which may develop slowly but accelerate after the segment we have read. A pleasure to read and an excellent idea. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

This is very interesting! I really like Sarah, she's a great main character that a lot of readers will be able to relate to. The writing is really good too, you build up the mystery and kept me involved. The premise is great, unique and fresh feeling. All in all I liked what I read, it's something I'd definitely come back to.

Missy

This is well written and involving. Sarah quickly engages the reader's sympathy and your conversational tone makes for an easy read. Title works well and dialogue is well expressed. Only thing I could say is that you may want to put the content of her brother's letter in italics, just to distinguish it better from the main body of text. just a thought.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Melancholy tone. That was the first thing I noticed. The sense that things suck for these characters and are probably going to get worse. That's what makes us read on! NIce job!

Wonderful work, fantastic descriptions and strong characterisation.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

You develope the character of Sahara very well in the openning paragraphs of chapter 1. I liked your clever use of foreshadowing. Your coming of age story is well written and the crisp dialogue helps to keep the pace of your book flowing nicely. You write on a topic many people can relate to and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I read the first chapter and there's some great description here and also a sense of someting not quite right, I feel suspense building.

There's little to fault. I did notice some very long paragraphs that could perhaps be split, but otherwise I have noting by way of constructive criticism.

So, backed.

great read!

backed

This reads easily, and your characters are both interesting and believable. Sarah is easy to relate to in her guilt and frustrations. Shelved.

Amanda

Sarah following the old lady round the house and not finding her is extremely spooky - almost as spooky as when she does find her.
You've done a wonderful job of depicting Middleton with its cobbled streets and allotments and old church. And the walking from stuffy room to stuffy room is bizarre yet strangely plausible. Excellent atmosphere. backed. Lynn

Hi Tracy, This is intriguing because Sarah is tentative in her new situation yet she’s frank with Tamsin. That stubbornness, holding her own about being at Mary’s, re-surfaces despite her remorse over her parents. Sometimes the prose feels a little stiff, could be smoothed over, but it reflects the mood well. The dialogue has a real smalltown feel to it and Warren’s being on his way makes me want to read on. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Backed

Ferdi
A Bed of Thorns

Easy to read
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a newleaf)

CANDYFLOSS ROOM
This is an intriguing story. I like books that portray older adults in a positive light and even though Mary’s memory isn’t as good as it used to be, this story still paints her as a nice to know older adult (altho I also think that may change as you post more of this). Sarah is a good main character; she’s likable and sympathetic because she wants to help this neighbor but doesn’t know how much she should do. I’m adding this to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

Dear Tracy
This is a really good book, so easy to read because of the way you have crafted it. I love the way you depict your characters using vivid colors and the original story you have animated them in. You have different aspect to the book including some real dramas that carry with them questions. yes even though this is a work of fiction, you have managed to propose questions in my head CONGRATS
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter

You are a gifted storyteller and a talented writer. Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

On the Up side - the story is obviously strong, and from the pitch you have a very clear idea of where things should be going and how they'll get there. The style is expressive (though I personally found the first three paragraphs possibly a touch too long for my taste - breaking them into more paragraphs would help to pick up the pace without rewriting - though it will also let you see variations you might have missed in the rough first draft or two) and the voice is strong.

On the down side - it's incomplete which is a shame, and hopefully it won't be too long before you start updating the work with more chapters.

Read and enjoyed. Backed with pleasure.

Tracy: wishing you the best on this website. But remember the caveat: you can only get out of it what you put into it. My thoughts are this: both of these pitches are absolutely brilliant; I wanna start turning pages. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my novel when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Great pitch promising a real mystery ride. Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

A very long first part and I only had time to read it which was disappointing because I wanted to read more. This is a draw.

Typo: you phrase "beyind the pail" which is a common mistake. It actually refers to a paling marker some way across land from a house; a sort of distance marker of owned land. The phrase is actually beyond the PALE; hence if you go too far you are beyond the pale.

I love the little details like Sarah jumping at the sound of the post arriving. It colours an already beautifully painted narrative.

Sarah seems frail, broken and hurt but the surface needs to be scratched only slightly to see that there is inner power there in her character which is a testament to your writing craft. Excellently. Done and welcome to a BACKING.

Lots of nice detail and plenty of story to tell. Go through and edit until you can't stand it and then edit again. You've got some beautiful language - use it to its fullest. I look forward to reading more.

CE Pietrowiak
Assumptions

Dear Tracy, I love the vulnerability of your heroine & how you've put me right there with her in your story. Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) You may want to cut your long paragraphs in 2 or many more for us with short attention spans who tend to miss the middles. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)