Mail Wanted

Really liked this book! I do think you could really expand and make this read even better than it currently is. I look forward to reading more about these characters. I found the overall feeling of the book both sensual, saddening and humerous at the same time. I don't think many characters can blend those elements and writing styles as well as you have. Good work!

funny, realistic, easy to swoop into and connect with. On the surface its light and witty and simple, but underneath are layers of something else that means much more. I wonder if, when you've written more, it might even turn dark and tragic. A very good read and very believable and engaging characters. Let me know when you upload more?
Cariad
STONES.

Not the first story I've read like this, but definitely the better one. Backed and rated.

Cat
Lies & Love

I've heard about other novels in this genre--electronic media. Yours in the first I've read. The messages make it quick. Always moving and transitioning. That has to place you well in this market. I was surprised by how much you could communicate with so little. What isn't said is often as important as what is said.

There's something contemporary about this piece that I think will benefit you. I though a lot about what we've recorded in our electronic records. Someday someone is going to dredge that up and all our dirt will be displayed for the world to see. It's amazing what information we've handed over to the keeps of these servers.

Really liked this book! I do think you could really expand and make this read even better than it currently is. I look forward to reading more about these characters. I found the overall feeling of the book both sensual, saddening and humerous at the same time. I don't think many characters can blend those elements and writing styles as well as you have. Good work!

Hi Peter

I like the conversational style, and I like the email format, this is the second book I've read today laid out in this way :) One suggestion, Instead of using **** for the email address, maybe make something up? It'd just add to the authenticity of it.

So, CH1. I'm getting that Sue is unhappy with her lot at the moment - the typical humdrum of life taking over, fair enough and identifiable. You have a couple of typos in there, and I couldn't help but feel that it was trying a little too hard in places. It felt like she was a charicature at times so for me, I think the overt feminine haughtiness could be pared back a little. Also, and this is just my personal preference, some of the text feels too formal to be an email conversation between friends. Things like did not, instead of didn't. But I will stress that this is just my preference. I tend to write how I speak and abbreviate things, so you can tell me to get lost :)

Debs, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more of in the first email from her. So far, I feel I know Sue more than Debs, unless this is what you wanted? The only other thing, was that with Sue's second email, I felt a little of Sue creeping in, I'm thinking of the phrase 'babe'. I liked that you peppered Debs' email with this as it clearly differentiated her from Sue - two very different voices, which is obviously important as they're two different people. So that might be something you want to watch out for.

Chapter 2. I found Debs asking Sue if she could talk to her like that (about the barge pole) a bit strange. They seem like best friends to me, I'm not sure that best friends would ask each other that, especially when she goes on to talk about her rabbit (!) lol. I know I wouldn't ask mine, I'd just tell her. This comment gave the impression that they maybe didn't know each other as well as I initially thought. Personally, I'd take it out and just leave the comment that she's the only person she can talk to about those things.

Also, same goes for the question of who Debs thinks of when she's...you know. Again, it's not something you'd ask your best mate. I think you could get away with cutting that question out, and when Debs responds, cut out the 'who do I think of'. Just have her volunteer the information. It would be far more true to life.

Liaisons with the firmer sex? This jarred. Not in a feminist way, just because it's not something I could imagine a woman saying.

The cheating brownie points, I don't know where I stand on this. In most cases, the best friend would usually be the one advising against it. Even if they do know how crap a marriage is. Jiminy Cricket type of thing. Though that might just be my mates, but personally, if my best friend suggested that I cheat on my partner, I wouldn't class her as a best mate. Even if I did want to cheat. Complicated, I know, but that's generally how it works. I know you've said Debs isn't a one man woman, which is fair enough, but still, I'm unsure about this.

I like the 'little things' Sue moans about when referring to Edward, so true to life lol. Again, the comment that she wanted to feel Jack deep inside her...not something most girls would share I don't think.

Chapter 3. I liked Sue's second thoughts about changing into her house clothes at the last minute - this is a really good reaction, very true to life, I liked it. OK, the sex scene. Obviously in reality we wouldn't go into quite as much detail, but I can see it's a necessity for the book - this is the only problem with writing in this format. Oh, you're so bad...poor guy LOL, but it made me laugh

Oh WOW, what a twist. I was not expecting that at all! Great ending there.

Aside from some of the over the top aspects, I really enjoyed this read, and the ending blew me away. Didn't see that coming at all. Really good job on this, with an edit, it'll do really well on here.

Silva

With e-mail becoming such a big part of our lives, I often wondered if a book consisting totally of e-mails could be created and be an interesting read. I think Mail Wanted shows that it’s possible. Author Peter Scholes uses e-mail from different people, designated by differing fonts which is a nice touch, to tell a rather humorous story. The only thing I’ve read that was comparable was a book with Civil War letters. In that book, there were sometimes months between sending a letter and the reply. Here, replies can come mere minutes or seconds later, which lets us actually see conversations, which is kind of like dialog in a traditional story. It’s surprisingly easy to get into actually.

Given society’s love of all things electronic, a book like Mail Wanted could easily find an audience with people used to primary relationships being though e-mail. The fact that there’s a good, funny story underneath it all, told in a unique way, is just icing on the cake.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Hi Peter, I like your pitch. I might learn something from your story. Wld you care to swap reads. I will comment in detail when a story grabs me.
Ron
WATCHING SWIFTS

read Ch 1 i thought this was an original approach - using letters as the dialogue. They were written in a very realistic style, too, which brought me on. It was quite a lot to refer to with all the different people and things going on, and I had to focus in a little on what was important and what was not. But overall I liked it and would keep reading. best

matt
A LAST DAY PARADE

funny, realistic, easy to swoop into and connect with. On the surface its light and witty and simple, but underneath are layers of something else that means much more. I wonder if, when you've written more, it might even turn dark and tragic. A very good read and very believable and engaging characters. Let me know when you upload more?
Cariad
STONES.

This is an intriguing story form.
As an experiment, I read it offline on the ipad, and thought about all the people reading books now on mobile phones. It meant that I lost the font changes which work really well, both as a visual aid to keeping track, and as illusion of reality. In the end, I came to the conclusion I would prefer it in book form, probably very traditional book form --for the distancing between the idea and the medium, and to get more of an edge.

I enjoyed reading it a lot, and the enjoyment was enhanced by the fact that I could almost feel the pleasure of the author behind the two women's antics. Only a man could write this. It's pure male fantasy. (We spend all our time talking about men! As if! ) But that is what makes it special for me as a woman reader: because the obvious voyeurism of peeping into someone's emails is thus doubled by the glimpse into the male fantasy world.

I guess it wasn't easy to write as it has to work as an email thread as well as as a story. On the whole I think you got the balance right, though as far as the story goes it seems a little rushed in places, early on. There's room for expansion, a slower buildup and more tension. And as emails, maybe some reduction of detail, a little distancing, 'less is more' at the climax. I realise that's tall order. Sorry. But I like it. A lot. Why don't you polish it and send it to the Bridport?

It's late. I'll have to think tomorrow about how to rate it and how and when I can make a shelf space.
I looked again at Conscience too. A superb piece of work. Any nearer publishing? Keep in touch. Julia

Peter-
Good effort so far. I enjoyed the first chapter and I've added to my WL and starred.Keep going with this because I definitely think you have something here.Best of luck, let me know when you add more.
Claire

An entertaining read., will read more later.

I was gripped with this tale. I won't give away the ending but the twist shocked and thrilled me in equal measure. A must for all you frustrated ladies.

S

Not the first story I've read like this, but definitely the better one. Backed and rated.

Cat
Lies & Love

This is totally unique and compelling - like reading someone else's personal letters! Well done and backed X 24 hours! How can I resist chick lit written by a guy?!

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Interesting premise for a story, but it did seem quite short and the 'twist in the tale' was slightly telegraphed.
(Reminded me slightly of 'Vox' by Nicholson Baker and somethign else, though I can't put my finger on what exactly...)

The writing was good, but a slightly more 'paced' build-up might have added to the tension and engendered more engagement with the characters

Thanks for your comments Nick. At the time of writing I was limited to the number of words I could use as I was writing it as a creative writing essay and it is also just one of a series of short stories to be put together under the banner of 'Relationships'. Had I not been under these constraints I would certainly amend and expand for the final version.

P

Interesting premise for a story, but it did seem quite short and the 'twist in the tale' was slightly telegraphed.
(Reminded me slightly of 'Vox' by Nicholson Baker and somethign else, though I can't put my finger on what exactly...)

The writing was good, but a slightly more 'paced' build-up might have added to the tension and engendered more engagement with the characters

Some grammar issues and typos, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a fine-toothed edit. I actually use letters (real ones) in one of my novels. It's been my beta readers favorite parts. At any rate, I liked the twist at the end of this story; completely unexpected. Nice! I also think it's hysterical the boy, well, um, you know. Since you have a bit of twisted humor, I'd love for you to look at my novel, KING OF THE MUTANTS. It's for a younger audience, but a fun read for adults all the same. Thanks. You're on my watchlist, to move up soon. I've also ******.

great idea, style and story. an original concept that works well...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Brilliant story, loved reading it

Love the twist.......kept me going right to the end!!
Loved it........super sense of humour!

I've heard about other novels in this genre--electronic media. Yours in the first I've read. The messages make it quick. Always moving and transitioning. That has to place you well in this market. I was surprised by how much you could communicate with so little. What isn't said is often as important as what is said.

There's something contemporary about this piece that I think will benefit you. I though a lot about what we've recorded in our electronic records. Someday someone is going to dredge that up and all our dirt will be displayed for the world to see. It's amazing what information we've handed over to the keeps of these servers.

I've read this before - but I can't remember where. Was it up before? Good stuff, believable characters and a situation. Handled through the email correspondance it leaves enough to the imagination to give the reader the required hooks to keep reading. Nice 'sting in the tail' - or do I mean 'tale'? Well done.
Lilian

Well I never. Neither of them seem to be what one might call angelic. But you certainly bring them to life. And what a splendid twist at the end.

Thank you so much.

Charles

Are these letters written by my wife? Simply, you have a good start of an intriguing story here. I'm jealous of your talents. I love this like all of your writing. Backed for now.

Dear Peter

I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Dear Peter, Well, here I am backing your 3rd book which I love because it is so intimate, like peeking into personal lives. :) comment to follow :) Great write! :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)