Zima Scribes is Online

You made me laugh aloud, 'x_NTC [script:x_[ntc]_Process]: Stack-Heap Collision'. This is a very sneaky trick for excusing typos and avoiding editing, plus, if you lose the plot, you can just have another Stack-Heap Collision. Sak Vantelli, the dyslexic Serbo-Croat is having about as much fun as you can with a screen and keyboard, though the whip is deceasing his already depleted health points. Sorry, turns out he's Turkish, and he'll be back for some more tomorrow.

Then up pops Wotan Eebus: 'Next I will kill you'. IM Zarima Scribe: Have an ex who went psycho on me. The plot thickens, with more fighting and humiliation and a whole new bunch of characters, 'Tylin Ap: ((She also does running commentaries!!!))'. Is Wotan Eebus the most worrying character, or is it Radek Sass who doesn't seem to be playing by the rules, or is outside the rules? Whoa! 'He has murdered her in real life too'.

I'm not sure what non-RPG players will make of this, and I'm pretty sure most RPGers would rather play than read about it, but the interest goes up like a rocket on the arrival of Wotan Eebus, who is perhaps not as virtual as is strictly safe. Then it goes into orbit with the inevitable vampire. Written as it is, this will have a limited audience, I suspect, to appreciate the subject, the embedded social commentary and evil wit, as well as the supernatural danger element. To make the most of the last, I suspect you might need to tone down and formalise the game playing a bit more. It will be interesting to see the various reactions. Personally, I think it's great ... backed.

I played second life gor for a couple of years and this is bloody hilarious.

Interesting concept, but scarily random delivery.

J.S.Watts

ZIMA SCRIBES IS ONLINE

Totally new and enticing pitch.
Deception that elevates us clearer than a host of low truths? For some reason I don't like 'a deception".
Forget low truths, this deception elevates us ?

A zoomer

This is very original. Hurray.
Backed with pleasure for an enjoyable read. I bet your spell check went on strike.
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

RS, I read the first chapter and can vouch that this is a highly creative piece. I cannot comment on the typos because of your escape clause, so I see no reason why I shouldn't back this book.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Sounds like my son's gaming! Too much like real life. Very topical. Love it. Still reading your last loaded chapter.

Appreciate any coments/backing on my childrens book - paperbat adventures. [Jerry - paperbat]

So if Wotan was really Kika, and Nya wasn’t really a bloke after having been not really a woman, who the hell was Radek Sass? I’m guessing not really a vampire.

I liked this a lot, I think you captured the in game world very well, without it being completely incomprehensible to non-players. The way that the typos and standard of English change between characters was very clever, and consistent throughout, with them also being shown as real people through IMs and OOC dialog. Plot (as much as there is a plot, it seemed more like crazy stuff happened then some more crazy stuff happened) was fast paced and unpredictable, very funny in places, and quite tense in others – ‘-User not online – message will be stored and delivered later’ has a quite sinister feel to it when someone is threatening to kill people IRL.

And all the gratuitous lesbian sex (as well as all the other sex) should guarantee this is a best seller!

I thought you wimped out a bit on the ending (or maybe I was enjoying it so much I didn’t want it to end), but all in all, lots of fun!

Veryu clever concept. A little like trying to read through a picket fence but interesting.

I wrote a short story once using text messages. Either nobody understood it or they just didn't want to be involved in mildly pushing the envelope. Just sayin.

Good luck with your project. Been a hoot reading the first few chapters. I kept waiting for you to come out of character. Great fun.

Sincerely,

Will

P.S. Thanks for your comments on my story. WBN

RS - erotica, video games, fun amazons, got it all going here - or eher. Backed with pleasure. CW (To Save the Sun)

Clever premise. Credible characters. Intense narrative. Spot on wit. Dramatic storyline. Backed.

Sorry mate, but didn't get it, didn't like it.

Phil

Hi RS

This is such a clever idea. It seems obvious now you do it but I haven't seen it done before. It would make a really good film too. I can see that it has all sorts of potential for the real world getting mixed up with the role-playing one, the characters invading our world, the "real" people getting lost in the fantasy. Lovely stuff. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Neat and witty. I enjoyed the romp. shelved
Lara
Good for Him

Okay--my 16 year old WOW playing son just came home--so I asked him to have a read and tell me if he would be happy if I bought him a book like this for Christmas. He read a good bit (he isn't exactly a big reader) and said, Yea, I like this book. Ask him what game he plays?!
So there--your target audience.

This is funny. I am not a gamer--but have a son who is. I would bet that gamers would go for this. Is there a market out there already? or are you going to try to fill a niche that you see yourself?
Barbara

Clever use of RPG terms and computer command code. The story has plenty of humor and is kind of sexy in a bizarre way. Perhaps that is what motivates Radek Sass. Anyway, his arrival heralds a strange and scary turn of events that you've made very plausible with the set-up of characters so immersed in this game that they can't see the forest for the trees. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Not something I would read from choice being a conventional soul but there's plenty of zany characterisation in the dialogue if I can call it that, and a well-described world within a world. Could be a hit. backed with best wishes. lynn

this a well written piece of work- it has a good pace, very readable---on my watchlist...
-read SEASONS...

A creative and imaginative story, The book needs editing but most of what is necessary is there.

Best of luck with Zima
Backed
Scorselo

Ra Ra, I hate to say it, but Abs is right: mercy backing.

Wonderful graphic depictions tickles the funnybone. Backed.

I hope you will give mine a read and back it if you like it.
Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Hi RS, A scary online story going on. I wondered who the people were doing the parts, especially Sak’s. It’s funny about the spellings; they reflect the tension or state-of-mind of the game players. They’re getting into some dangerous territory, having the dominance in the game. The real life part promises to be as exciting. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

This is an excellent premise. Thoroughly engaging and backed!
Abi xxx

My two oldest sons are addicted to virtual world RPG. The world of Gor appears to be similar to what Final Fantasy 14 is going to be; except for the burning off of testicles. "You like to worship strong women like us, don't you?" Well Sak may, but I don't think it's healthy. Being a slave for someone like Nya sounds like it will be more than, well . . . "Ar you online tomorrow?" Backed for now.

You made me laugh aloud, 'x_NTC [script:x_[ntc]_Process]: Stack-Heap Collision'. This is a very sneaky trick for excusing typos and avoiding editing, plus, if you lose the plot, you can just have another Stack-Heap Collision. Sak Vantelli, the dyslexic Serbo-Croat is having about as much fun as you can with a screen and keyboard, though the whip is deceasing his already depleted health points. Sorry, turns out he's Turkish, and he'll be back for some more tomorrow.

Then up pops Wotan Eebus: 'Next I will kill you'. IM Zarima Scribe: Have an ex who went psycho on me. The plot thickens, with more fighting and humiliation and a whole new bunch of characters, 'Tylin Ap: ((She also does running commentaries!!!))'. Is Wotan Eebus the most worrying character, or is it Radek Sass who doesn't seem to be playing by the rules, or is outside the rules? Whoa! 'He has murdered her in real life too'.

I'm not sure what non-RPG players will make of this, and I'm pretty sure most RPGers would rather play than read about it, but the interest goes up like a rocket on the arrival of Wotan Eebus, who is perhaps not as virtual as is strictly safe. Then it goes into orbit with the inevitable vampire. Written as it is, this will have a limited audience, I suspect, to appreciate the subject, the embedded social commentary and evil wit, as well as the supernatural danger element. To make the most of the last, I suspect you might need to tone down and formalise the game playing a bit more. It will be interesting to see the various reactions. Personally, I think it's great ... backed.

This is completely different from anything I've read on here before, but don't worry, that's good in my book! You've given us something new and I like that. It's well written and takes us some place interesting. I really don't know what else I can say about it. I liked it, I hope that is enough and I enjoyed it.

Missy

RS: Huh? I read Chapter 4 and this is all over the place. Those pitches are not exactly conducive to wanting me to read on. BACKED because you have the nuts to post this. But why are you posting this?

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

I like what I have read so far. You have crafted a most interesting and unique storyline and your character development of Zima is well done. Your descriptive writing sprinkled with humour is a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Imaginative and creative, also quite exciting and compelling. Written in a different style yet adds to the authenticity. Some editing needed but a book with potential.

ww Lisa

Hi RS - nice way you string your sentences, consistent, to the point, keeps one enjoying the journey.

blessings
jim
jack & charmian london

Dear RS,
There are a great number of typos in your script. And, a number of times someone gets whipped. I have to say this is not my cup of tea. Maybe I'm too old. As much as sometimes men deserve it (joke of course) I don't want to see them enslaved and collared. I'm backing you for your creativity and because I think a younger crowd would appreciate it.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

ZIMA SCRIBES
This is a book that still needs a lot of work to get it into a publishable form as some of the time it’s written as a novel; at other places it reads more as a movie script with character name on the left and the dialogue on the right. I think you have an inventive world here in terms of both characters and settings. I realize the typos are intentional, but it still needs editing so that world can show through.

ZIMA SCRIBES
This is a book that still needs a lot of work to get it into a publishable form as some of the time it’s written as a novel; at other places it reads more as a movie script with character name on the left and the dialogue on the right. I think you have an inventive world here in terms of both characters and settings. I realize the typos are intentional, but it still needs editing so that world can show through.

ZIMA SCRIBES
This is a book that still needs a lot of work to get it into a publishable form as some of the time it’s written as a novel; at other places it reads more as a movie script with character name on the left and the dialogue on the right. I think you have an inventive world here in terms of both characters and settings. It needs editing, tho, in terms of typos and continuity so that world can show through.

Dear RS
what a marvelous short pitch, wow
and then the long pitch insisted i read on. this is a well crafted book so far....I will carry on reading and comment later.....SO I will back this now so that I can assist your climb to the top which I feel sure you will be before long
THE VERY BEST OF LUCK
with your book
and i really hope you find he time in all this to COMMENT (positive I hope) and BACK my book, but if you dont that is OK also.
Denise
The Letter

This is so original and imaginative! Backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

Bloody great stuff. Rich in its sense of the contemporary, linguistically adventurous, brilliantly original. If it doesn't get published and made into a cracking film - well, I don't suppose I'd be surprised, because talent is so often overlooked, but this deserves to make its mark. James Joyce meets Jeff Noon and talks about William Gibson while sharing a bottle of wine with Margaret Atwood and remembering Angela Carter with spooky fondness...

I think this book would be acceptable for 18 to 25 year olds.
That would be a lot of readers out there.
Computer addicts are plentiful in that range.
On that basis I back your book.SHELVED.

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest)

Further comment, having now read all you've posted. Wonderfully imaginative, a deliberately dumbed down masterpiece. Salutations.
Jared.

This is definitely not a mainstream book and you would be better served to submit it to one of the Second Life magazines as a serial.

JMC

If this is genuine I suspect that only the gaming community will appreciate the subleties. This writing community expects a genuine effort and can only judge on that basis. Would a gaming magazine be a better venue for you? Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

All the typos are deliberate - for authenticity in representing chat in virtual reality.

Are the errors deliberate? If so, what a good job you've done! Very strange, almost hypnotically strange. It goes on my shelf simply because it made me think. Daren't tell you what I was thinking. Good luck with this.
Jared

Dear RS, Congrats on posting your novel Zima Scribes is Online, interesting title, and a very unique, original story. Backed it for its originality and looking forward to reading your story. Best of Luck
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

Dear R.S., I love that I am not in your story - too much action for me. :) I should have known it would end this way - my suspense is quinched. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed - comment to follow :)
Love, Susie :)