Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 56471
date submitted 28.09.2008
date updated 07.08.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Historical Ficti...
classification: adult
incomplete

Black Shadows

Simon Swift

 

Historical mystery set in post-war New York. Murder, double-cross, betrayal and the quest for a mythical diamond blight the life of reluctant hero Errol Black.

 

“Think big, Son, think big. And steer clear of the wise guys, they’ll kill you!” When dying mobster Dutch Schultz offers this advice to rookie private detective Errol Black it prompts him to make a life-changing decision.

Ten years later, life has moved on from the roller coaster of mobsters and hoodlums and now revolves more around divorce cases and missing persons. But Errol Black’s life is about to change. It begins when a young lady hires Black for a seemingly routine surveillance job.

When fellow detective and one-time partner Dyke Spanner is shot to death, Black is drawn deeper into a violent and bloody quest. The search for the priceless Blue Tavernier Diamond brings gangsters, New York’s ruthless Tongs and beautiful women into Black’s life.

To solve the crime, he finds himself journeying into his own past where both the secret to Dyke’s killer and the clues to the hidden diamond lay.

Black Shadows is a crime novel blending fact and fiction. It is set in one of America’s most violent and unsettled eras. Gangsters, beautiful dames, colourful villains and red herrings galore - this is the world of reluctant hero Errol Christopher Black.

 
 

tags

betrayal, crime, diamonds, femme fatales, gangsters, historical, mystery, quest, red herrings

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HarperCollins Wrote

BLACK SHADOWS is a tightly written piece of noir fiction, inviting obvious comparisons to Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett. The story follows a private detective whose routine surveillance work soon spirals into a much larger case, involving the theft of a valuable jewel and the truth behind the death of his partner ten years before. When done right, this historical crime subgenre can transcend its traditional audience and appeal to all kinds of mystery readers.

In general, this is a very swift and compelling read. The pacing is taut, the dialogue snappy, and the action—especially in the explosive beginning—comes in short, quick bursts. The characters play nicely to type: the possibly morally suspect private investigator, the smoldering femme fatale, even the secretary with a heart of gold. The voice feels pitch perfect and draws the character smoothly back in time. It almost feels like the reader has stepped into a black and white movie from the 1940s.

For me, the background could be a bit more richly drawn. While the New York locations appear authentic, there could be more reference to the time period, since the book takes place during an interesting moment in history, just after World War II. For example, how is the initial description of Chinatown any different from the Chinatown we know today? Of course, you would want to work in these details without taking away from the tension or the rising action.

I think the biggest issue with a novel like this is finding a way to not only successfully imitate the genre—which you’ve most certainly done—but how to contribute to it and make it different from its predecessors. Beyond the comparisons to Chandler and Hammett as mentioned above, you might also take a look at more contemporary authors who write about this time period, such as James Ellroy, or writers who set their stories in the modern day but have a noir feeling to them, such as William Lashner and his Victor Carl series (Marked Man, A Killer’s Kiss etc.).

I feel that the mystery/suspense market is so saturated right now that it would have to take a hugely original and superior novel of this type to break-out. While there are certainly many fans of hardboiled detective noir fiction out there, this is really a niche audience and you might have more traction with a small or independent publisher. Certainly there are presses such as Bleak House and Akashic that do very well with their crime series.

Naphilia wrote 246 days ago

You asked me to read this ages ago. I've finally finished and I swear on was on tenterhooks for the last four chapters! It was absolutely amazing! I don't usually read these sorts of books, but I thought this was utttuerly awesome!!

x

Phil Rowan wrote 387 days ago

Wow ... Black Shadows is my sort of story, Simon! Chandler for the 21st century and some - even better, it's Simon Swift, period and brilliant. I love your whole writing approach from 'I smoked my last Lucky' through the names: Errol Black, Dutch Schultz and Dykke Spanner - fantastic ... even the typeface is right - I can read it without going goggle eyed. You are one talanted writer; I just hope you find a good agent pronto, because this can and will sell. Backed with pleasure and good luck. Phil Rowan - Weimar Vibes

gillyflower wrote 318 days ago

Since I love the Raymond Chandler / Bogart type of thriller, the opening chapter of Black Shadows had me hooked at once. The setting, the wisecracks, the gangster element, the upright but flawed detective falling for the beautiful woman - what's there not to like? I can say that the book fully lives up to its promise. Moving through the complex plot, guessing and second guessing, until the final twist after what I thought was the final twist, I enjoyed all this enormously. Errol is a very easy character to relate to. He comes to life from the first moment, and stays that way. The dialogue, of course, contributes greatly to this, the short sentences and chapters (at first, anyway!) force us to jump straight into the action, and new characters are added at just the right rate, not too many at once, so that we can follow who is who without confusion. This is a very successful book, very much my type of book, and it should be the first of a popular series, if everyone else sees it as I do. Congratulations, Simon!
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

zan wrote 356 days ago

Simon,
Your Black Shadows is indeed a powerful thriller. Your gory opening one of the best I've read here. Your imagery wonderfully vivid. MC Errol Christopher Black is a likeable character and your chapter two ending with the Claudia scenario:-
"You are very kind, you really are,” She looked a little sad but her voice held firm, "Please Mr. Black, this means a lot to me. Please take the job personally and take it seriously. To me this really is a big deal." Those were the last words she said with her slow motion mouth before she leaned over the desk, kissed me softly on the cheek and left the office. All of a sudden the sign looked shiny again. It was the start of something big..."
was indeed a big start to this gripping piece of yours. This is a great easy flowing, multilevel novel and I find it very intriguing with so many layers to peel back... On my shelf.
All the best,
Zan

Dania wrote 414 days ago

Good thriller and I like the time it's set in. Post war post depression, kind of feels relevant these days. Great POV and action.

Also liked the descriptions of New York.

Didn't notice any nitpicks. Glad to shelve.
Dania (The It! Refugee)

John Warren-Anderson wrote 8 days ago

I like the opening lines. The guns open up and still he concentrates on his lunch, a man after my own heart. It is a terrific opening which tells us much of the MC's character. But I think it is a mistake to interupt the action to explain about Terry and dwell upon the NY underworld. That should come after the shooting's done.
Backed.

udasmaan wrote 45 days ago

Ok, Simon, I read your first chapter till nearly the end, despite feeling terrible, as I mentioned to you. I read about you, your friends, pistols, fightings, shootings, blood, dead, and survivals. Where is the key in your writing? What do you want your reader to connect with? With you or with with what you do? There is no life in your writing. What I mean is who and what are we supposed to like in here? I did not like what you did and I did not like what you and your friends did, because I did not read or feel a vital reason for what you did. Of course, your job in real life is very vital, but your writing lack to show that vitality or your importance in that job, so your reader can have feeling about you and can connect with what you do. There is not heart, no love, no soul, no connection, only a fast paced peice of writing. Who are you? I dont know. What is your job? I dont know. Do I care what you do? No. Do I want to read your book? Of course not. Please find the key in your writing. Find the life and the heart for your writing. No one would read something that cannot connect with their heart. You want look something you like, dont you. Would you want to look at something that you cannot like. We should like you in your writing to get interested in reading about you.

Shah

eurodan49 wrote 49 days ago

I enjoyed reading from Black Shadows. Good, powerful voice and great pace. For whatever’s worth, you’ve got my vote.
Maybe you could take a look at TO KILL A DEAD MAN.

Bill Carrigan wrote 51 days ago

Hi Simon, Please accept my belated thanks for backing "Call Home the Child." As my second novel showing, this one has lagged in the ranking, so I strongly appreciate your support. If I ever reach the BIG DESK with "The Doctor of Summitville" (which has started to do better), I'll feature "Child", and your backing will still count. Since I've already backed "Black Shadows," I can only wish you luck with that and other works. --Bill

Suzie Q wrote 81 days ago

Dear Simon, I love detective stories :) - I started with Nancy Drew series in high school. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

wespollet wrote 104 days ago

HI Simon, Wow What an interesting story. I really like it and I back it Harold Alvin(icon)Wesley

Burgio wrote 142 days ago

I didn't notice this book had a star until I started to write this comment and noticed the note from HarperCollins so I'll guess at this point you're not interested in any more comments but I did read this so I'll add one anyway. Errol is a good character; the big feature of this is the way you combine real people with him (makes the story read as if it really happened). Your writing style is just right for this. I enjoyed it a lot. I'll add it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

BradNYC190 wrote 165 days ago

Just started reading this book and its off to a good start. I am interested in books set in my hometown, NYC, so it caught my eye. It hasn't disappointed at all. Colorful tale of intrigue and mobsters. I am looking forward to reading the full book.

JASmith wrote 176 days ago

BLACK SHADOWS - Chapter 7-19

Sorry it's taken me a while to get back here. I haven't commented on individual chapters like I was before primarily because of lack of things to edit.

CHAPTER 7:
She had tears streaming - This is written in the passive voice, not active. Active is better as it grabs a reader's attention. In this case, try 'Tears streamed down her face.'
Claudia, are you OK sweetheart (?)
Thank god you are here - I'd use the contraction you're as it sounds more natural
Yeah we will(;) that would be swell
She'd love you though(,) Errol(,) I'm sure
Claudia lost more and more of her shyness - I would rephrase. Try: Claudia became more forthcoming with each drink.

IN GENERAL:
The problem I have is with your dialogue tags. They're very long. These days, dialogue tags are quite short or non-existent. Often you combine your dialogue tags with another action which more often than not should be a separate sentence. Most of the time a reader's eyes skim over what is said if what is said is followed by the dialogue tag shouted, screamed, protested etc. I found this happening with your dialogue because your tags are quite long.

Also, you tend to skip your comma when using a question tag. E.g you would write:
"You don't mean that do you?"
I would write:
"You don't mean that (,) do you?"
This also happens when you finish with someone's name as evidenced in my beginning comments on chapter 7.

From a reader standpoint, this novel isn't usually my type of reading. I found the early chapters went a little over my head but these later chapters are a lot sharper, tighter. That could be because the beginning introduces a lot of characters at once though.


CHAPTER 20-EPILOGUE
Make sure the numbering of your chapters is correct, consecutive etc. I've used Authonomy's chapter numbers for these edits.
20.
soon to be - cut out to be
I exhaled deeply ... - a little repetitive and intrusive with your dialogue tags. Reword
unsure just why - unsure why
he let out a little exhalation of air - he exhaled a little

22.
thought of a bomb - not the
the results - not what
I woke - not awoke
to your home - cut your
in a businesslike tone - use full stop, not comma

23.
increasingly worse - not bad
mid(-)sentence
keep a look - continued to look
how great it was to be alive
Still in disgust, Hermeez said ... - move middle dialogue tag (about eating crab claw) to after said as it's intrusive where it is
Jeez (,) what

26.
Woo - do you mean Wu?
(Y)ou weren't disappointed

27.
Chapter title - (D)eath

31.
hea(l)th club


JASmith

JASmith

AVRAHAMANOUCHI wrote 196 days ago

Simon
Congratulations on reaching the Authonomy stardom

Avraham
The Hidden SCcoll

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 199 days ago

Accuracy, the work has it relating to the setting. A comment, it doesn't need because of the star. Even the "Lucky" smoke fits; one can't buy them anymore, but a real popular smoke at the time. The TV/film folks may want your work. Good luck, Chuck

DCRoberts wrote 200 days ago

At first I thought it needed less narration and more movement to really bring out the action and violence of shootout--more active voice, shorter paragraphs, shorter sentences, quicker words with more punch--but then I realized the purpose of your tone. I'm not very familiar with the Chandler-style detective writing, but from what I do know, you've nailed the voice. That's one of your strengths: an ability to maintain voice. Still, I would suggest cutting down the word count. I think it would increase the pace during narration and keep the dialogue from feeling wooden. Entertaining read.

Daniel Roberts
Saturday Nights Alone

JASmith wrote 204 days ago

Good opening. Simplistic but good.

freshly, cut - no comma

What's this girl he's with look like? Blond, long hair, short dark?

I smiled, 'That is correct' - I smiled (.)

Dyke the ambulance - comma after Dyke

JASmith

JASmith wrote 204 days ago

Last time I commented it was just a passing edit, so I've returned to make sure I haven't missed anything.

First impression: Your indenting, though fairly consistent, is not necessary. In fact, with your font choice, the layout looks a little off.

seven o clock - seven o'clock

The part with Joe and the telephone just didn't sound right to me. If you changed perspective's then you should start a new paragraph, if not this requires more explanation.

luncheon down at the Waldorf" - luncheon down at the Waldorf

I can't tell because of your font choice but make sure that whenever you use an ellipsis (...), there is a space before and after it.

Between the paragraph where he finishes his sandwich and starts the surveillance, it appears that there are one too many spaces.

You have used Mr. and Mrs. a few times here - the full stops aren't required.

wherever it is that you've been? - doesn't need the question mark because you continue the question after the dialogue tag. Use a comma instead.

as always you've done sterling work? - no ?

with you Eezy - comma between you and Eezy

care to elaborate - ?

JS

GAClark wrote 204 days ago

Simon:

I liked it. Got through the first chapter of Black Shadow and by the end, and I was hooked. Excellent read.
One minor point I didn't understand. First chapter, the term "walkabout" in 1935 New York, mob type setting. I always thought Walkabout was an Austrailian term, rarely used in the US. It seemed out of place in the description of the agency. Just a thought. The book will continue to get good reviews however. You are another writer who can paint pictures with words.
Gary Clark
Show Low

ahbrowne wrote 205 days ago

Hey Simon,
I am finally getting round to finishing this. Been so busy here. I absolutely adored your book. I think the descriptions are great and I love that old-school detective vibe as you're reading.

Not much else to say other than it was fantastic! A fun read and really action-packed which is something I like to have while reading. I think I'll be seeing you on store shelves soon. You're already a gold star, but I most definitely back you.

Best of luck!
Hugs:)

Colin Normanshaw wrote 207 days ago

Excellent short opening chapter. This sets up the rest of the book really well, and manages to give is some useful insights into the MC. The writing style is sharp and concise, and makes the reader (me, anyway) really feel as though he is in the same room s the action. Brilliant, and I want to read more... Backed. Colin

VampWriters wrote 211 days ago

Nice story, Simon. I enjoyed it!
~VampWriters

Craig Faustus Buck wrote 211 days ago

Outstanding open! Drawn in from the first sentence. Great pace and terrific prose. Well done! I know you've already made the editor's desk, but I'm shelving you anyway. If you get a chance, check out Go Down Hard.

Diane60 wrote 212 days ago

Simon great style but am very confused by your timeframe. Somethings just don't fit for example: The Mets began in 1962, The Superbowl is 44yrs old. Woodstock was only farms no tourists till after the festival which was 1969, Wanker not a word used more like putz or some italian language swear word, same for bloke or bloody. You couldn't direct dial long distance. No pips for payphones.
Little picky it may seem to you but they jarr and make you leaave the story narrative and question when you are writing about etc. Having moanes about the above i was easily taken for a ride with your story and love all the referencing to both film and book detectives. I can see Greenstreet and Lorre Spade and all the others.
Diane

Kate Hulme wrote 214 days ago

I can see why your book's done well. It's very well written; feels effortless and professional.
I suppose my gripe, if it is one, is that it feels very of its genre with no new edge to it. But that might well just be because it's not my usual type of genre.
But it's a very small gripe. This is really well written and readable and reads very much like a publishable book to me, which is rare.

JASmith wrote 218 days ago

Chapter 3:
In this chapter, you need to cut down on your use of commas, particularly with dialogue tags and the use of 'and'. Give it a readthrough and hopefully this comment will make sense to you.

Also, "what's she called?" - just didn't sit right with me. Try:
"What's her name?"

bjana wrote 218 days ago

Oh I like this. It reminds me of old movies like "The Big Sleep" and all of those film noir type things.
Great writing. I love the hook of the first paragraph.
Maybe I missed this, but are the characters native new Yorkers? If so you may want to remove the English words like "knickers" and "fancy" and "queued"
I am happy to back this. I like the font, too.

Diane60 wrote 219 days ago

Simon have skimmed a bit of the first chapter and pitch. Can't wait to read the whole thing! It is my next read. I love this kind of mixture of fact and fiction. Fully backed. Can't wait to see what happens.
Diane

Diane60 wrote 219 days ago

Simon have skimmed a bit of the first chapter and pitch. Can't wait to read the whole thing! It is my next read. I love this kind of mixture of fact and fiction. Fully backed. Can't wait to see what happens.
Diane

Sutekh wrote 220 days ago

Great book! Interesting characters and a fast paced narrative! Deserves to be published, and maybe adapted for another medium?

Darren Floyd
Match Day

Marie DuGar Bell wrote 220 days ago

Congratulations! I wish you success in becoming published. Sincerely. Marie

Manolya wrote 220 days ago

Congratulations on your Gold Star- I am really happy for you:)
I wish you all the very best with your book- I hope 2010 is a great year for you!
Thank you for the help you have given me in the past, it is really appreciated.
Warm regards,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

hkraak wrote 220 days ago

Congrats!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

ipaintwithwords wrote 220 days ago

Congratulations on being selected for review!

cutley wrote 221 days ago

Well done, Simon. Thoroughly deserved.

Charles

Ibby Pargeter wrote 221 days ago

This isn't the usual genre that I go for, but I couldn't stop reading! Your writing draws the reader in and keeps them turning the pages. Backed with pleasure.
Good luck.

Ibby (NEAR MISS)

ged wrote 221 days ago

Pretty neat noir.

J. A. Partridge wrote 221 days ago

This is not my normal type of read, but you seemed to have captured the tone of a noir detective story well. I especially liked the MC's casual attitude to the violence in the opening scene. Were we in a writing group together, I'd have more comments here and there, but as I said, this isn't my normal type of story and you seem to know what you're doing. Consider yourself backed and good luck with this.

Hilary Waters wrote 221 days ago

With just a few hours left I am backing Black Shadows. This is pure pleasure. Love the way you are straight in with the action. Great descriptive flow and characterisation, plus being seeped in dramatic tension. Good one and good luck.
Hilary Waters (The Piazza)

Karen Lenfestey wrote 221 days ago

What a great opening scene. It's hard not to be intrigued by a mobster's dying words. I always try to make suggestions, so here they are: I like the bloody porterhouse, but perhaps rather than use the word "blood" twice in the first paragraph, one time you could refer to the red juices or something. Thanks for your patience waiting for me to read it--shelved.
Karen
A Sister's Promise

Ben Hardy wrote 221 days ago

The first chapter, which so far is all I have read, pulls the reader in with a punch. It is hard boiled entrance, which also manages to give back story and hints at an exciting ride ahead. Best of luck with the 'top 5 for January' - you should be safe with this. Ben

Amelie Elisabette wrote 221 days ago

Hello Simon, I've happily read (some of) and backed your book, and I thank you for backing mine. The pacing here is great, and I think with a little editing you've got publish-able material. Good luck at the editor's desk!

Ferdi wrote 221 days ago

From what I have seen of this genre, I think this is quite a good example. Nice and pacy. However, it's not my cup-of-tea, so I won't be going any further with it.

I like the way that it opens immediately with action, full marks for that, I'm not sure that the action was always clear, though, it all seemed a bit muddled at times and I got a little confused.

Ferdi

writer_woody wrote 221 days ago

An excellant and enjoyable style of writing. The first chapter sets a good pace with grit. Backed with pleasure and good luck.

Andy Wood
Fortitude
Indifference

Big Daddy Rabitt wrote 221 days ago

Nice opening! I read the first page and thought it a good read; however, I think you need to shave the punctuation

Tyler Tork wrote 221 days ago

Need more commas. In fact I find Len Jones' comment a little amazing.
In the restaurant, info missing. What about all the unarmed diners? What did they do while all this shooting was going on? The violence seems somehow remote. When Terry dies, we're not seeing it happen, just being told about it dispassionately. The dinner was described nicely, though.
The dialogue in ch. 2 seems artificial. I don't hear the characters speaking in their own unique voices. They're very formal -- no contractions, no slang -- and again, the lack of commas makes their speech read as monotonous, without the pauses for breath or emphasis that real people use. They never pause to think, or to do something besides talk (take a sip of her drink, lean back in his chair, glance at the clock...), or interrupt each other. They just take turns talking.
Terry's one line in Ch. 1 seems authentic. The dying mobster's little speech is good.
I see you've gotten up high in the rankings, so a lot of people must like what you're doing. I do like the concept, but for me, the execution needs more polish before I could back it. I'll keep it on my watch list though.

Kristy Colley wrote 221 days ago

This isn't my particular brand of book. The beginning and random chapters I snagged throughout reminded me of The 39 Steps, which is well-written, but again, not my thing.
Best of luck on the ED.
Kristy

Dina Santorelli wrote 222 days ago

Totally my kinda book. Backed w/pleasure. :)

Dina
Baby Grand

ipaintwithwords wrote 222 days ago

Cool--I'm from NJ. Your story so far (I read chapter 1) is very easy to read, and I like your MC's voice. I like the way you drop us into the action at the beginning of the story.

sferre wrote 222 days ago

I keep looking at this over and over, thinking I've read it before. Perhaps I backed it and later removed it from my shelf to add something else. Or maybe I was interrupted before I was able to leave comments, so just in case, I'll leave some cursory comments. It seems a little rudimentary to me at times, but perhaps I'm influenced a little by the font that you have posted it with. Some things are described in detail, but some of the choreography is a little unclear.

Cleaning ones hands of the mob isn't easily done, I wonder if they will come back to have a debt paid later. The shots weren't meant for them, but I think my heart would have been racing anyway. Terry was shooting and then he was dead with two shots to his head. That needed to be fleshed out, since it significantly changed Rolly's life.

I think it has some faults, but I'll back it for now, as my shelf is nearly empty. Good luck with the ED.

sferre wrote 222 days ago

I keep looking at this over and over, thinking I've read it before. Perhaps I backed it and later removed it from my shelf to add something else. Or maybe I was interrupted before I was able to leave comments, so just in case, I'll leave some cursory comments. It seems a little rudimentary to me at times, but perhaps I'm influenced a little by the font that you have posted it with. Some things are described in detail, but some of the choreography is a little unclear.

Cleaning ones hands of the mob isn't easily done, I wonder if they will come back to have a debt paid later. The shots weren't meant for them, but I think my heart would have been racing anyway. Terry was shooting and then he was dead with two shots to his head. That needed to be fleshed out, since it significantly changed Rolly's life.

I think it has some faults, but I'll back it for now, as my shelf is nearly empty.

HPO wrote 222 days ago

This book had be gripped from start to finish. I'm not a fan of murder mysteries but this certainly captured the imagination

HPO wrote 222 days ago

Good read Well worth the time.

Len Jones wrote 222 days ago

Hi. Read the first three chapters and really enjoyed them. The fast moving pace kept my attention and your descriptions make it easy to visualize the story. Both you characterisation and narrative are strong. My only little quibble might be that the sentences are broken up a little too much by commas...but I think the use of the first person is effective and gives strength to the story telling. Good luck with it!