I thought the Zombie Pimps were mine

Girl, you have been born with a poem on your lips!

Wow, wow, wow!!!

Absolutely fantastic - not just your language, your style - but also your Mind! You nailed it. You nailed the longing, the power struggle, the human/Demon/God nature.The expectations. The passion. The isolation. Pain. And quiet crying.

This is a genius work. Really.

Your writing/vision and delightfully twisted sense of humor, sensitivity beyond this world (any worlds as a matter of fact).

LOVE IT!

My highest rating goes to you. Promise, if you can, to upload some more :)

Warmest Wishes,
Johanna Kern
Master and The Green-Eyed Hope

Stupendous opening lines. Stupendous opening chapter in fact. Gosh, this is fabulous writing and possibly this book has the best and most incisive sense of humour of any on the whole site. I love its cross dressing in terms of genre and its poetic trickery of language. And how expansively shifting are the boundaries of the reality it depicts. This is one of the few books here that couldn’t have been written thirty years ago. And it only happens once in a blue moon that I’m compelled to read everything someone posts here. Fabulous.

This reads a little like a 21st-century J.K. Huysman. Against Nature and the Zombie Pimps. des Esseintes in the form of a female poet in the slasher porn industry in possess of a CDB. "There were too many poets, all of them atrocious" and "The women managers in the public sector hated promoting a good woman; they were busy helping incompetent men." Ah, Amaryllis-Jacinthe: "She had guidance from the Zombie Pimps." And, why not? "'The phone!' she said, wriggling hard against his grip and unsheathed his . . ." Backed for now.

A truly unique piece of work. I have never read the like.

Dear Miss S

Your short pitch took me to your long pitch which is very well crafted and promises an interesting original read. I I am amazed as I see the books on this site, with the minds, and the talent which produce writtings with such skill. How characters can be depicted to vividly using words as colors, and at how a story can be told and it depicts a movie on the mind. I do wish to congratsulate you on your book. I have not read all your writing but I do wish to back this book so it may asssit you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, comment which is important to me, and back my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Thank you again for your support of my book. I am not sure I would've found your highly creative piece otherwise. First, I must say, that this book covers content far outside my usual reading, so I may not be the best person to comment. However, I found much to appreciate with regard to your poetic style. Your words flow naturally from one concept to the next, truly compelling the reader to experience the pain of a tormented soul. This piece is definitely classified properly as literary fiction, as I can undoubtedly picture it being analyzed and discussed in various literature circles. The reader is called to engage in the inner emotional conflict, which will surely have a lasting effect. There is a raw depth here as well... such as the line at the end of chapter one..."she did not want to hate anymore because hatred rotted the soul..." I loved that line. I wish you the very best.
Faith Rose
Now To Him

I really love what you have written here. There is a wonderful cadence and energy to your sentences and writing. I think that your first chapter - while I think the poem is great and important to your story - to establish the cadence and rhythm of your prose, you might do better to tack on the first chapter immediately afterwards because otherwise I think you may lose a lot of readers here.

This is experimental fiction at its best. I admire your daring attempt here tremendously.

Another thing I would say is that your title will lose a lot of readers who will think that this is a zombie story and not a sad lyrical tale about a young girl that, like you say in your long pitch, incorporates elements of the fiction of the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

I thought the ZombiesPimps were mine.
By Miss S.


You are a clever writer drawing the reader on with some puzzling scenes of erotica.
The book has a masochistic theme to it where Amarylllis-Jacinthe is concerned...no need for rohypnol here.
She’s easy pray and appears contented with her lot.
The scene of the hangings in Mr. A’ s house gives the book a boost as it shocks the reader into following it further, this is truly a piece of psychological macabre.
Your style is deep and not easy to follow but very interesting all the same.
Pleased to star rate it high and wish you the best with it.

Kind regards,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

Wow read through part of chapter 3. I could not read on when the toddler takes the eye out of his younger sibling. I can't read books about violence to children...just can't.
I copied a couple of lines I was fond of:

"We're all here lanced to the Earth by a moonbeam, and in a flash, it's morning, and we're gone." I thought this was beautiful!!
..."because hatred rotted the soul."
so true!

I like how the Zonbie pimps were summoned. Can't help it, made me smile!
Good Luck!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

To be honest, your beginning is very original, but I don't have the slightest clue as to what your talking about. Too many abbreviations. Not sure if this is supposed to be a song? Good luck. Dina

Hello Miss S:

Some time ago you backed my book and I really appreciate your support in giving me a ride on your bookshelf. I began to read through I Thought the Zombie Pimps Were Mine, with the hope of returning the favor in some way, shape, or form.

Although I do not fully understand all the streams of consciousness, I understand enough to get the gist of the story-at least at times. I like the premise, albeit unusual, of a person going to the most depraved of people; i.e., producers of slasher porn movies, with the idea of learning to love the most despicable of the despicable. It betrays an innocence in the heart of the main character.

Unfortunately, I could only read to Chapter Three and had to stop because I found the violence of the child murdering his family members, and then the outright pornographic pedophilia to be much, much too graphic for my taste. Judging from the comments, it is clear that there is an audience for that, but I was just much too troubled by all of it to read any further.

I do thank you once again for your support and wish you the best as you pursue your writing dreams.

James

First two chapters seem well edited. I didn't come across any errors. Very unique and highly starred :)

God Bless,
Trista

This is really cool and cutting and clever. Love the kick ass attitude and feminist vibes. even the prose rolls on the tongue with poetic rhythm. Jake

Definitely cutting edge stuff. For myself very hard to comment on. but I do like the mix of poetry and visualizations. I almost get that she's singing to herself all the time. Very original and off the wall. What I call new age stuff. Should do quite well.
Very unique, which is where you have to be these days.
Excellent
Frank

Wow! Such a different premise and and fabulous writing.
This is one of those books which grows on you as you start reading.
Well done Miss S.

Hello Miss S,

I read your book. I didn't understand all of it. I wouldn't have a scooby how to critique it. I loved it. I'm backing it.

Dave

Hello Miss s,

I've read most of your story and I think its very unique. In fact, I think you have a courageous spirit to do this :}. It's always good to see a writer brave the water sometimes. With this in mind, I have a suggestion which could improve your pitch. As an admirer of unique works like this, I find to truly understand it you have to study it, for example, your first chapter. If you some how reworded your pitch to draw in readers who enjoy studying such books, it would grab the attention of more people.

But of course, these are just my opinions :}.

kind regards,

David Joyce
The Emerald Throne

Dear Miss S,
Your book is disturbing like a clown that wants to make out with me. The cover image is appropriately frightening; reminiscent of something from the Alien movies. The beat poetry of your story is original and engaging. I felt you did a great job of feeding information at the appropriate time for your heroine. You developed a compelling character with some serious issues to deal with. I would like to see how you resolve all the unrequited desires.
I must confess that I am a visually oriented writer and I imagined while I was reading this that the movie version would do little justice to the level of abstract futility that you generate or the poetic ambiance.
This is probably self evident if you've read any of my book ODIN'S TOE. You've been kind enough to back it so I'm assuming you've had a look. I would be honored if you could pass on a review owing to your exorbitant feel for dramatic prose.
I wouldn't usually choose a book of your chosen genre to read and I doubt that it fits the standard for this field which I regard as being pretty low. So your book is unique although its potential fan base is quite low as well.
I do like reading erotic material by women and in this your book is quite successful. Perhaps you would have greater success playing up this aspect of your writing and leaving the scary elements as flavor. Just swapping your "author image" for your book cover might entice more men to check you out. As they say, "Sex sells" and the sex in your book is quite original and exciting. If you build the ho the pimps will come looking for you!
Cheers,
PJ Qats

Fantastic, poetic, and scuzzy. A semi-demented poem from a demi-monde dilettante, or something more powerful and sinister? The girl in the picture has surrendered to something; it was a neat touch to have your main character's motivations summarised neatly at the bottom of chapter one. Strong and original work, been very glad to support it

P

This is so very unique and you are a talented writer with a gifted imagination! Shelved for sure!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Curse you Miss S, your pitch hooked me.
I got two ahead of you. Well actually 1, but the one that I am reading now is so good that
I may just reread it.

(And I've been trying so hard to hide my dark side.) 8>)

Good heavens. This will be published somewhere I'm sure. Although I'm by no means sure where. Backed.

Your book is wild at heart, with a cherry on top... Thanks.
Dirk

Miss S,

Some time back, you backed my book Time Squared. I've finally had a chance to take a look at I Thought the Zombie Pimps Were Mine. This is wildly imaginative work with a voice and style all its own. Opening with the protagonist's poetry is a daring move -- it will no doubt put off some readers, but they are probably not going to read this type of work, anyway.

Because of the unconventional style, many of the usual grammar and punctuation rules don't really apply. I noted the following corrections in chapter 3:

She stepped lightly pass dad's bedroom. You want the preposition "past" rather than the verb "pass".
When nicknames like dad and mum are used as names (that is, without possessives like my and your), they should be capitalized.

Mum told her: 'you've got . . .' You've should be capitalized as it begins the sentence of dialogue.

Good luck with this, and happy new year!

Karen Eisenbrey
CRANE'S WAY
TIME SQUARED

It is a story of a girl who searches freedom to think and work freely. To gain the aim, she suffered so many pains. Her understand becomes misunderstand. Her misunderstand become real understand. Finally she gained a real position. It is a good work.

Joy J Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Genius.
Perhaps not everyone's cup of tea, but there's no denying your talent and mastery. You take the reader into places that are difficult to explore with wit, insight and imagination.
Amazing stuff.
Cheers,
Wadim Matusewicz - Perfect Human Creations

interesting voice and style

I thought the Zombie Pimps were mine is an interesting read, though I don’t believe that I am part of the target audience. Told by author Miss S in a somewhat disjointed format, it has an energy about it that you won’t find in other books. In a lot of ways, I thought the Zombie Pimps were mine is a set of stories within the main story. You kind of have to work at it to see what is really going on, which I believe is a tale of a woman named Amaryllis-Jacinthe turning to porn to make ends meet and solve her loneliness problems. She may also be crazy, which I believe is why the book is so disjointed as we attempt to see the world through her eyes.

That said, I think the first chapter should probably be eliminated all together as it seems the most chaotic of those posted, and does not really leave a good impression for those that follow, which while still disjointed, seem to make sense when examined. It’s an enjoyable read for those with the cerebral fortitude and the desire to press onward.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Girl, you have been born with a poem on your lips!

Wow, wow, wow!!!

Absolutely fantastic - not just your language, your style - but also your Mind! You nailed it. You nailed the longing, the power struggle, the human/Demon/God nature.The expectations. The passion. The isolation. Pain. And quiet crying.

This is a genius work. Really.

Your writing/vision and delightfully twisted sense of humor, sensitivity beyond this world (any worlds as a matter of fact).

LOVE IT!

My highest rating goes to you. Promise, if you can, to upload some more :)

Warmest Wishes,
Johanna Kern
Master and The Green-Eyed Hope

Miss S I read all 6 chapters and found the writng style extremely unique and powerful. Funny did not come to mind. I felt pain and loneliness and saw tragic circumstances handled bravely by a young woman who reinvented herself to cope. Backed strongly Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

What a fascinating mind you have. This is such an original, quirky tale, I have to back it. I thought I already had, but can't seem to find it. Will do so now becuse I think it deserves to climb the ranks. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Based on the title placed Ithought the Zombie Pimps wre mine on our watchlist. Can't wait to read what's inside.Will read and comment on later.
CC Brown
Dark Side

High risk opening chapter expertly carried off. The single sentence/paragraph structure on C2 establishes rhythm and pace, which really accelerates in c3 from the dialogue and great setup. She was going to something more arousing...A rollercoaster from there. Original and highly engaging.

Okay, so if Sylvia Plath and Chuck Palahniuk were ever to meet and mate; her prostrate, beguiling furious passion as a venomous union; and he, not him as him, but him as he God-like war hammer, reigning into her as three-minute-king of her insides: Copulation...

The result would be you. This is very powerful stuff, and has a very visual quality. Ironic, sarcastic, haunting, freaky -- just a few things brought to mind as I read.

I don't think my comment will help any, but I really enjoyed this. It was a refreshing change from the norm. Best of luck with this.

Gerry
Dropcloth Angels

very intriguing story that seems to have many levels from supernatural, to fitting into society to human drama and issues of self comfidence. One nit, in the pitch "realises" in the sentence She realises they were her safety net is spelt wrong. Otherwise good so far.

A clever, explosive story. Searing descriptions. intense narrative. Palpable tension. Potent storytelling. Unique. Imaginative. A wonderfully compelling, thought-provking read. Backed.

Dear Miss S,
I can't begin to understand your writing if I try to follow it literally. If I open my mind and simply experience the words, I have more success. These words will resonate as performance art, I think. I love the last paragraph of your first chapter - she wants to accept the bad so she won't hate. Very much like the words on the page, best to accept and try to understand. Some of me thinks I'm just guessing at your meaning, and some of me thinks I've hit on something profound.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

interesting for fans of zombie fiction

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

By the year 2525, if man is still alive, this will be the story mothers will read to their children when their children beg, "For God's sake, Mommy, read me a story I can understand and relate to." 2525 children will obviously be different than our children today are. But ten years later (2535), it will be considered much too archaic to bother with... everyone will be into beeps. Little gaseous clouds drifting about going, "Beep beep beep." No more need for words other than beep. Long lines of beeping clouds at the unemployment office... etc.

I'm sorry, I got a bit sidetracked. I find your story clever, inventive, fun, and engaging.

Backed with pleasure...
Rodney Jones
The Father

James Ellroy meets James Joyce. A dash of Bret Easton Ellis thrown in for good measure.

Begs to be read aloud.

Backed.

Ouch, this is dark. First chapter doesn't do it for me, but beyond that this is quite something else. Aggressive, uncomfortable, insightful and intriguing... and a humour so very very dark it hurts.

How well it will do on here is debatable. I suspect many won't get past that first chapter, which is a shame.

Stupendous opening lines. Stupendous opening chapter in fact. Gosh, this is fabulous writing and possibly this book has the best and most incisive sense of humour of any on the whole site. I love its cross dressing in terms of genre and its poetic trickery of language. And how expansively shifting are the boundaries of the reality it depicts. This is one of the few books here that couldn’t have been written thirty years ago. And it only happens once in a blue moon that I’m compelled to read everything someone posts here. Fabulous.

Hi Miss S, A startling dance of words work into narrative. I liked the "jilted, frigid orchid, crystallized by nitrogen" and the repeated phrase. The last paragraph in Chapter 1 is a fascinating statement after this aesthetic handling of the subject. Looking on, I like the imagery and the interior. It's mysterious and written with originality. Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Miss S, very original style and the explicit sex is well-handled, if you'll pardon the pun. The janukurpura postion sounds, well, delightful.
Backed with pain and pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Dear Miss S

Your short pitch took me to your long pitch which is very well crafted and promises an interesting original read. I I am amazed as I see the books on this site, with the minds, and the talent which produce writtings with such skill. How characters can be depicted to vividly using words as colors, and at how a story can be told and it depicts a movie on the mind. I do wish to congratsulate you on your book. I have not read all your writing but I do wish to back this book so it may asssit you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, comment which is important to me, and back my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

This reads a little like a 21st-century J.K. Huysman. Against Nature and the Zombie Pimps. des Esseintes in the form of a female poet in the slasher porn industry in possess of a CDB. "There were too many poets, all of them atrocious" and "The women managers in the public sector hated promoting a good woman; they were busy helping incompetent men." Ah, Amaryllis-Jacinthe: "She had guidance from the Zombie Pimps." And, why not? "'The phone!' she said, wriggling hard against his grip and unsheathed his . . ." Backed for now.

I'm too old for this! I only understood one word in eight and I probably got those wrong. I recognise enough to appreciate the work you have put into it though. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Hello Miss S. Well, I'm not surwhat to say! It's kind of wonderful. It's certainly original. It is not a horror story and that was a relief. I likes Amarllys Jacinthe a lot! I backed you because of originality an an attractive writing style> Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

A truly unique piece of work. I have never read the like.

I read your pitch and was intrigued. Read what you've written and was sort of intrigued, I feel there's a really good idea trying to turn itself into a story here but it needs work. You.ve got to give the reader a break - know at least something about what's going on. If I hadn't read the pitch I wouldn't have read through 1. I'm not saying everything should be crystal clear but the adage that I'd rather be confused for ten minutes than bored for ten seconds can be taken too far. The craft of writing - difficult - because your character is isolated doesn't mean the reader has to be alienated. Find a metaphor for her isolation.

I know it's hard - I'm the same myself - but you've got to work at it..

Still, a great idea.

Steve

Wow - you have such a gifted imagination as well as the talent for harnessing it into the written word! Easy to back this gem!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I Thought the Zombie Pimps Were Mine is a bizarre story about Amaryllis-Jacinthe, a deeply troubled young woman whose problems I can't even imagine. Writers of the fantasy genre can certainly come up with some horrific tales and this one is the strangest I've ever seen. Backed.