Vigilante

This is impossible to put down. I literally had to slap my own hand when my cursor moved over the eighteenth chapter. And no I'm not blowing smoke up your ass because of your comments on my book. The short chapters and great dialogue and hooks at the end of each chapter kept making me (umm... click the page?) So on to chapter eighteen soon, a session that should bring me up to about 35. This book I could read in no time.

Lacey

First off, I've got to say, damn you, sir. You made a fool of me. I'd heard this was one of the best thrillers on here, so I was expecting quite a lot and then I get the stuff about enemies and I think "aww come on, no one talks about my enemy in the real world, this isn't working for me. It's just like some dumb video game my kid would play. Then as I reach the end of chapter 1 and start 2 I realise you'd done it. You'd turned me into one of those idiots who ´just doesn't get it'. Now that I do get it, slow witted dick that I am, I'm hooked. In fact I've spent longer reading this than I meant to, just because you keep us rivetted. You turn from the game world into reality with ease and with the well placed hooks and the worry that either Daze's mind has blown a fuse along with the computer or that Fallow really has fucked him up big time you've got your audience and you keep them.

"B" movie??? Hahaha! Thanks, Jim. As far as the film rights go, I'm awaiting Mr. Shyamalan's phone call.

I read it all. You know how to put a hook at the end of a chapter. This could turn into one of the great B movies. Have you sold the film rights yet? Jim

I have just finished reading this from beginning to end and am very impressed. A few (very few!) minor typos and glitches, but it held my attention all the way. Move over Stephen King!

Greetings J-- Well, I don't know how you did it, but I've read the entire book. Or did I just play a weird computer game? I'd like to figure out whether it's a novel about real people--Nero, Laura, Zavey, Talia, FALLOW (they seem real)--or surrealism with an existential twist. No, its actually a comic book, with lurid scenes and foreshortened characters escaping the frames . . . O.K., I'll come down and sanely comment that you've written a page-turner that should definitely find its way into print and eventually onto film. Backed. And one more thing: Would you please take a look at my realistic historical love story (not a "romance")--"The Doctor of Summitville"?
Best of luck, Bill

Hi. I think this is extremely well written, I love your long pitch, and although it contained a spoiler I still found the first chapter drew me in. And the basic premise is great!
Maybe you'll take a look at 'Jelly-Boy', hoping that you'll be equally intrigued...

A very different read for me, but I found the story captivating and well paced. I read more than I'd intended, and enjoyed it. A few minor typos etc, but we all have those, nothing that can't be easily fixed.
Well done. Backed last week, and given a high rating now
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

I ma sure I backed this under the old Authonomy regime and I recall loving it so I'm backing this again.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Your novel has giving information about the response following a sudden impression. The unexpected things happen in life are reflecting in each person in each ways. Your fiction is totally based on visualization. But I think it has a little genuineness, that is what is the function of mind.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire
The Seagulls

Okay, Mr. Moore. I read 1 and 2 of VIGILANTE. What to say? The prologue was appropriate; fast moving and had a good hook. Chap. 2 was also fast moving. Even though you had a lot of passive voice, you did the right thing by keeping the chapter short.

I don't usually read fantasy stuff, but everybody's writing it now so if I want people to read my book, I have to reciprocate, right? Well, this honestly has my interest. It seems easy to separate the action from the fantasy theme. In any event, one of the better ones.

My stuff is plain old literary fiction. It's A PLACE IN LIFE. I'm experimenting with writing in the first person and I'm interested in some honest first impressions. If you have a chance, maybe you could read a chapter or two and comment. I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks and good luck with yoyr book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

VIGILANTE-J. Moore
hullo Jason. The stuff can be freaky, and so REAL. Second peek for new system. Have a great day!
Already shelved and backed and starred.
Please take a look at my book and thanks for that if you have.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Happy to have this back on my shelf.

Never known the reason why a grown man would spend hours on the computer but then again I seem to be on this site for long enough.

This is different, mixing real with the game life, as someone has already mentioned it may flow better if you bring your chapters together as move 2 into 1 and 4 into 3 etc. but the pace moves along nicely.

Not my normal read but still read to chapter 10, good luck,

Red

Jaw dropping awesome, this is a brilliant read and a page turner.

Todd

The Madness of Avlon Klynn

As addictive as a video game - I read the whole thing in one sitting. I wish my first drafts were this good...

Hello J. M., I spent some hours yesterday and last night being unable to sleep, reading all three of your books.
The only thing I will add to all the comments here is, "SUPERB" and Backed.
Good Luck.
Norman.

Mr. Moore,
I just do not have time to read all 78 chapters, but I read six and I'd read it all if I had it in paper. I didn't see a single nit--I was too busy reading. This just hooked me and (excuse the mixed metaphor) I ran like a horse with the bit in his teeth. It's wonderful. That line of tension like a Marlin on the line (another mm) just pulling me chapter to chapter. Best of luck with this. Let me know when it's published.
Caroline
Summer Rose (a terrific historical--a must read!!)

Hi Jason, it is one of the most intriguing novels I have read recently. I wish you the best and I Back it. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley.

You made a good start in here! I like the way how you put the game stuff or the fallow character into real. An overwhelming and fascintaing story like this would sell. I just have one suggestion which I'm really concern about. I guess you have to lessen the chapters because it's too long! you should have put the content of chapter two in the chapter one, the fourth to third and so on to lessen the chapter count. Best regards from your good comrade. Backed :)

I hope you could also give some feedbacks to my story entitled-- "Inside the glistening mirror.' Thanks for your kind response.

- Chesire

Just finished the last chapter and I've truly enjoyed reading the whole thing! Backed, of course.

I'm glad you liked the book :)

Magnificent Gibson Les Paul, always preferred Fenders myself being a weight wimp,loved the sound though and much admired the muso's who wielded the axe. Now only have a Fender Jazz Bass and crappy Korean squire copy but still JAM OCCASIONALLY IN a PSEUDO JAZZ KIND OF way. Keep music live!

Richard

Magnificent Gibson Les Paul, always preferred Fenders myself being a weight wimp,loved the sound though and much admired the muso's who wielded the axe. Now only have a Fender Jazz Bass and crappy Korean squire copy but still JAM OCCASIONALLY IN a PSEUDO JAZZ KIND OF way. Keep music live!

Richard

This makes for compulsive reading. Johnny Daze is a brilliant name to start with, and despite the fact that he’s really quite disgusting, I like him already. He’s confused, lost even without his telly and computer. He makes a really big deal out of it, which I thought was over-exaggerated on your part at first, but then I realised it just highlights his addiction. It took until the fourth chapter to find something to really criticise. Marty is introduced with a Brett Favre beard. Then further down he also has a Brett Favre mouth. Perhaps this is too much – just stick to the beard? Plus I suspect anyone not from Wisconsin (like me) hasn’t the faintest clue who Brett is…

I’ll be coming back to read more – this is a page turner, and I want to see what happens next!

Hello fellow "captive of Wisconsin." Finally got a chance to take a peek, or at least that's what I thought I was setting out to do . . . just finished chapter 12, and plan to continue. Thought I would let you know that I am absolutely entranced, what a spectacular read. Love it! Your description of Laura's grandfather tingled my spine, as does your character Johnny throughout this amazing story.
Excellent Work! I'll get back with you as my read progresses.

Cly (Hybrid)

Quite intriguing and a new way of being pursued or finding a stalker. Right up to date and similarly immediate in its readability
Backed
Lara
Good for Him

This is awesome! I love that one of his first thoughts is "Had Fallow done this?" This would ring so true of many of the men in my life! LOL! This is extremely well written, easy to read and I feel so bad for this poor hapless geek, I feel a mutual bond with him as a writer! Couldn't stop reading! Backed with pleasure!

Christi Watson
Wonder: Heart of Captivation- A Thief of Life Novel

just read 3 chapters and glad i did, wen i have more time i wil be back for the rest, i love your details about johnny, i can just imagine him and his surroundings, its a job well done, i will take a look at your other book asap.

alison

J, this is a roller coaster of a read, it's a difficult genre to keep fresh, but the dialogue and characterisation propels your writing keeping it so.

I really enjoyed it, well written, well measured and assured plotting.

gets my backing,

Rob

Dear J

I have to come back to this book and again congratulate you on a superb read...I have already done so and backed it ....however i cannot find the backing so not leaving it to chance. BACKED again just to make sure

Denise
The Letter best of luck

Dear J., I love that you told a recap of what you based your book on in chapter 78. :) That was fantastic! :) Your pitch was beckoning & your tight paragraphs & dialogue made your story move fast. :) I just backed your other book & discovered this one. :) Gread read! :) Love, Susie p.s. Could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Thanks so very much. :)
says he backed it a while ago

Dear J,
Greetings:)
First of all congratulations for writing Vigilante. The name itself suggests alertness, the synopsis was great, very impressive writing, the flow is very good and fast, though I have not read the complete book but I am sure it is playing on a very interesting subject of having a hold on what's real and what's an illusion.
Will read more and comment,
God Bless You,
Naveen.

Hi J,
You have an attention-grabbing story here and you sweep us up into it in no time at all. There are a few places where I thought you could help the reader see things more vividly. For example, instead of just saying that Johnny resisted the urge to throw the remote or fell asleep on the floor, could you show us what we would have seen if we were actually there? The bit where you say he's peed himself more than once is priceless! We definitely get an idea of how obsessed he is from that.
Lucy

FTFS.

Hello J. You need to work on your story a bit. Too many of the sentences tell us as readers what is happening more in line of a narrative. It doesn't draw me in. Also I found myself pushed away as I read due to the language. It does nothing to liven the story for me, instead it turns me away. I know many don't care, it's a part of life, but to me and millions of potential readers, if a book makes it to the open market, it isn't acceptable reading. I struggled and made it through chapter 2 but I'll have to pass on farther reading and backing. Sorry.

Nick
Invasion from Within

Hello J. You need to work on your story a bit. Too many of the sentences tell us as readers what is happening more in line of a narrative. It doesn't draw me in. Also I found myself pushed away as I read due to the language. It does nothing to liven the story for me, instead it turns me away. I know many don't care, it's a part of life, but to me and millions of potential readers, if a book makes it to the open market, it isn't acceptable reading. I struggled and made it through chapter 2 but I'll have to pass on farther reading and backing. Sorry.

Nick
Invasion from Within

This is impossible to put down. I literally had to slap my own hand when my cursor moved over the eighteenth chapter. And no I'm not blowing smoke up your ass because of your comments on my book. The short chapters and great dialogue and hooks at the end of each chapter kept making me (umm... click the page?) So on to chapter eighteen soon, a session that should bring me up to about 35. This book I could read in no time.

Lacey

Just read 7 chapters instead of making dinner! A good sign for the start of a novel. Very smooth writing - i found it easy to read and i think you have a talent for bringing character to life, which i thought was the major strength. You show a lot about Johnny through his actions and how you set up the first few chapters, which i really liked. The plot itself is interesting, meaning i will return to contiune reading, but i REALLY need to dash off and make the dinner, or the lady of the house may kill me...!

I've decided to back your novel for the freshness of writing and the fact i genuinely enjoyed the first 7 chapters. Looking forward to reading more.

AJ.

First off, I've got to say, damn you, sir. You made a fool of me. I'd heard this was one of the best thrillers on here, so I was expecting quite a lot and then I get the stuff about enemies and I think "aww come on, no one talks about my enemy in the real world, this isn't working for me. It's just like some dumb video game my kid would play. Then as I reach the end of chapter 1 and start 2 I realise you'd done it. You'd turned me into one of those idiots who ´just doesn't get it'. Now that I do get it, slow witted dick that I am, I'm hooked. In fact I've spent longer reading this than I meant to, just because you keep us rivetted. You turn from the game world into reality with ease and with the well placed hooks and the worry that either Daze's mind has blown a fuse along with the computer or that Fallow really has fucked him up big time you've got your audience and you keep them.

Great stuff. I'm reading your book now.

Scott

This is a great premise that a lot of people can identify with - the secret desire to become less virtual and a pining for the good old things in life. Well written with a very real sense of struggle. Great scene building. Lots of psychology flowing throw the narrative that moves along at very pleasant clip.

Original premise and very brilliantly executed. Funny and dark at the same time. Happily backed, Mal

very interesting idea for a fantasy thriller, and well executed.

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Right, so I'm reading this and time has literally flown by. I'm ten Chapters down already. There's no fluff or needless exposition. Your pacing is some of the best I've seen up here, it's just so easy to read. I like the hallucination with Fallow (or was it?). What I like more is the way you're gradually peeling back the layers of the onion, showing me more of Johnny's character without slowing anything down. You kind of get the idea that the guy's an obsessive when he cares more about his computer and TV breaking than he does about the fact that he's pissed himself on his couch a couple of times. And you understand at once that the guy looks like a social recluse when his Bud swilling neighbors rib him when he dares to say hello. You understand that he's used to being treated like one when he's talking to his pretty neighbor and the guy ribs him again ("Don't touch the perverts hand..." Very good line), and he just takes it. The best bit came at the end of Chapter 10 though, when Johnny's laying in bed too scared to sleep, remembering his mother making a Johnny-cocoon out of his bed clothes and wondering why she can't come and haunt him from heaven. It humanizes him. I'll be reading more soon. Really good. Thanks.

Right, so I'm reading this and time has literally flown by. I'm ten Chapters down already. There's no fluff or needless exposition. Your pacing is some of the best I've seen up here, it's just so easy to read. I like the hallucination with Fallow (or was it?). What I like more is the way you're gradually peeling back the layers of the onion, showing me more of Johnny's character without slowing anything down. You kind of get the idea that the guy's an obsessive when he cares more about his computer and TV breaking than he does about the fact that he's pissed himself on his couch a couple of times. And you understand at once that the guy looks like a social recluse when his Bud swilling neighbors take the rib him when he dares to say hello. You understand that he's used to being treated like one when he's talking to his pretty neighbor and the guy ribs him again ("Don't touch the perverts hand..." Very good line), and he just takes it. The best bit came at the end of Chapter 10 though, when Johnny's laying in bed too scared to sleep, remembering his mother making a Johnny-cocoon out of his bed clothes and wondering why she can't come and haunt him from heaven. I'll be reading more soon. Really good. Thanks.

"B" movie??? Hahaha! Thanks, Jim. As far as the film rights go, I'm awaiting Mr. Shyamalan's phone call.

I read it all. You know how to put a hook at the end of a chapter. This could turn into one of the great B movies. Have you sold the film rights yet? Jim

Obsession, Virtual reality reality and a slam bang read that doesn't slow down, No time for a deep breath with this. Skinmny legs dropping into ski boots and Fallow's jump into reality extends the pace and keep the reader wedged between the real the unreal and the might be real. Beautiful imagery snaps from a creative mind onto the page to be immediately savored by this reader. Excellent writing and there is no way I can wordlessly express my appreciation of this read

Backed
Scorselo

I read it all. You know how to put a hook at the end of a chapter. This could turn into one of the great B movies. Have you sold the film rights yet? Jim

This story just gripped me and pulled me along. if I didn't have to go to work, I'd stay and read the rest, but I got to chapter 10. Well-written, funny, engaging... Johnny's wonderful and a little loopy, but then, most gamers are. I'd buy this if it was in print!

Backed!
H.Hunt
The Devil's Wife

Clever opening. Crackles and pounds with vitality and yet we suspect all isn’t quite as it seems which heightens our interest. Chapter two begins the transition of Johnnie superhero into Johnny without his virtual props. Fascinating theme. We’ve all become so accustomed to the virtual aspects of our identity that it’s a great idea to suddenly deprive a character of these stimuli, this addiction. Good fast muscular syntax and what promises to be a compelling character study. I really like how you’ve initially made his physical reality the sterile part of his existence as if his virtual existence is the more real. Lots of great psychology going on. Really enjoyed this.

No time to read the complete book right now but I certainly shall do so later. The whole premise is interesting and far from unrealistic. The pitches are exactly what pitches ought to be and the writing style - based on the first half dozen chapters - is crisp and to the point. ie no wasted words. Well done!

Philip John

i've only read the first two chapters, but i'm already gripped. I shall have to read the rest soon.
It's really well written - and reading it, i was imagining each scene, everything about it in film. It would make a really good movie, and i really hope for you to get this book published.
Amazing! abi (Violet Dashier - Magic School)

Three chapters in and I think you did an excellent job. It moves, moves, moves and you have to stay with it. Putting it on my shelf so I can follow it along. Nice!

Happy to back it.

Suz

Many people have mentioned that this would make a good movie. Well, if it does, I want Vince Vaughn to play Johnny. Let me know what you think. What about Laura, Zavey and Nero?

Delightful, Kafkaesque, bitingly funny, my favorite read in a long time. Less than Zero for geeks, with a touch of Stephen King. Very entertaining.

You grabbed my attention with the pitch. I am fascinated by the plot idea. I've known people like Johnny. This might qualify for Harper True Life. Your style and tone are perfect for this book. At first I thought the chapters were too short, but after reading several, I felt that the length was well suited to your story. I've read 6 chapters and so far can't find anything I would suggest changing.

Best wishes with this.

Backed

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Very entertaining read. This story flows and I got through the chapters pretty quickly. The story is detailed but to the point. Interesting thing about Johnny is that he's unremarkble; there are plenty of people like him, serious "gamers". The story is easily believable and accessable and that's why I found it easy to get into. Nice cover as well.
Backed.

THE ISLAND EXPERIMENT