The Wonder of Terra

"There are going to be changes." Great line!! You might want to lead off with that. Just a suggestion - get a little more punch at the outset and introduce a little conflict. Good luck with your work.

- Thank you. Point well taken. Tom B.

Outstandin first chapter. I like others found the name Roy to fairly funny. I'm imagining Roy as God and the souls as his angelic followers. Or I could be completely wrong. Terra will be Earth which will be populated by man?????? I liked how the spirits started out in "a nothingness type environment. I will star rate ,WL an shelve.
Well done.
Sean B.

I liked the line 'This is quite the gathering. What do you think is happening?' Really ominous.
I found it hilarious that the Great Soul is called Roy!
I have to admit Sci Fi is not a genre I am very familiar with, as such I found some of the writing rather heavy- that's my problem not yours! But although it's not a genre I would read, I commend you for your dedication to write to enlighten people about God's existence and I hope and pray you are successful in doing so.
Kind regards
Karen

Dear Thomas, I love that you wrote to me & my challenge to read your book again!! :) After 19 chapters, I conclude that you should be just like Dee :) - she is like Jesus. :) All of your analogies are great, but it still boils down to God created heaven & earth & everything in it. :) I memorized the 7 days of creation in 1993 (Gen.1-2:1-3) & even if I didn't have the Word, He still writes on our hearts to do good/bad & we choose. :) If you've read my profile page, you know I'm reading the Bible morning, noon, & night & still memorizing at age 70. :) I am so ill with lupus, you can also read on my profile page & only God is my strength & hope & salvation. :) God wins in the end, you know. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. yes, I am repetitive, but what I am saying IS from my heart & I'm trying to say what God is helping me to say (Heb 13). :) Will you help me get to the editor's desk before I die? :) You don't know the struggle just to type & sit up. :) I can do all things through Christ Who strengths me. :)
None of this comment is copy/pasted & is written arduously with my Lord's help from my heart. :)

The Wonder of Terra
Thomas W. Balderston

I found your plot so very inventive Thomas. I am no where near being a learned person, and even further away from being a Biblical scholar but this idea of a parallel you have here between faith and biblical and scientific teachings is fascinating. Science fiction as a medium for bringing home some truths to your reader. Very clever and suitable. I liked the sequence in your first chapter. Roy is a perfect choice of name - king. Excellent writing skills and a storyline intending to recreate Biblical happenings in a way which is highly thought-provoking - so nice reading something which makers me think. Just one tiny nit though - your opening line - "In a void, where there was neither darkness nor light a fellowhip of souls assembled." I am thinking about the word "void" and wonder whether it might be better to use the word "place". What do I know anyway - may be wrong and a minor detail. Incidentally, I like Roy saying at the end of this chapter, "Not all will understand." So true! Very humbling to read a good piece of writing and I wish you the very best with it. Hoping to come back and read more when I can (busy time of year here), but it's a pleasure in the meantime having it on my shelf and was also happy to star-rated it as well for you. Hope you'll find a publisher in due course.

I found god in your book. I can finally rest now that I know Roy made man. I'm in ch 11, paragraph 2. Here are the rest of my notes:

In paragraph 6--you know, I can't stop stacking the allusions to Christ next to Roy as I read. Now we got some Hebrew allusions: I am. Not sure that has the same impact in English.

"Understand Roy better"-- Just watch The Muppets Christmas Carol--"...know me better, man"

I'm finding a parable in ch 11. A retelling of the Christ story.

Toward the end of the ch we have Roy and ROY--intentional?

Reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress. The contemporary version. Although, I think among American Evangelicals the space motif would be a little offensive--as it connotes much of what they would term New Age. I say that only to offer something to think about concerning marketing. You'd need to establish your theology on level with theirs.

It was interesting to discover Christian theology in a new package. Makes you think differently about what you've always known,

"There are going to be changes." Great line!! You might want to lead off with that. Just a suggestion - get a little more punch at the outset and introduce a little conflict. Good luck with your work.

THE WONDERS OF TERRA
This is an amazing book. So much detail! It must have cost you many painstaking hours - well done for that alone. My first book took me 6 months of reseach but worth every enjoyable moment.
Beautifully written, and a jolly good interesting subject. Both educational and purely for the joy of reading.
Good luck I'll put this on my WL.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

The Wonder of Terra is saga like and has been created with earnest perception. Graphic and vibrant prose abounds. It is a scholarly and erudite treatise but I was sidetracked when I had one minor reservation which started me off on a internal pseudo question & answer session which I still haven't resolved. This beautifully written sentence started it all -- 'In a void, where there was neither darkness nor light, a fellowship of souls assembled.' First niggling thought 'It could not be a void if it contained souls' followed by 'But souls have no mass, substance or form so they could be part of a void' Or could they? Any work that prompts questions or thoughts after you have put it down has resonance. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Tom, This is quite interesting. For that reason alone It is on my bookshelf while I read further. A more in depth comment to follow.

Joseph

I like your idea. Before space and time, before light and darkness. Thank you.

This is an extremely imaginative way of presenting this story. I like it! Living in France, I immediately recognize "Roy" as an Old French form of "roi" or "king". Nice touch.

The one question I have with what I have read so far is why do you begin with the fellowship of souls assembling in darkness? I realize that "light" as we know it in our universe hasn't yet been created at this point, but is it possible that darkness, as we know it, does not yet exist either? In the book of Revelation we are told that God's presence will be our light in eternity, so it seems that Roy's presence would have provided light (perhaps of a different nature than what we know as "light", but light nonetheless) for those assembling at the beginning of chapter 1. Just a thought.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Thomas, this is a wonderful Christian Sci Fi, a market that is vastly underserved. Right now Christian books are all about the romance market. But just because that is what sells now does not mean that is all that well sell. Good luck to you, I look forward to seeing on the shelves.
BTW, I have always considered the Big Bang to be God. In fact physics is simply God's magic. he is a God of laws and order, science merely proves that, not disproves HIM.
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

This is an extremely imaginative way of presenting this story. I like it! Living in France, I immediately recognize "Roy" as an Old French form of "roi" or "king". Nice touch.

The one question I have with what I have read so far is why do you begin with the fellowship of souls assembling in darkness? I realize that "light" as we know it in our universe hasn't yet been created at this point, but is it possible that darkness, as we know it, does not yet exist either? In the book of Revelation we are told that God's presence will be our light in eternity, so it seems that Roy's presence would have provided light (perhaps of a different nature than what we know as "light", but light nonetheless) for those assembling at the beginning of chapter 1. Just a thought.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Ingenous. An inventive, uplifting creation story. You skillfully captured my attention, and then my mind. Relatable characters. Authentic dialogue. Accomplished retelling of the creation story. Artful writing. A teriffic read. Backed.

Oh boy, this is TERRIFFIC! Chrisitan Sci Fi Fantasy at its best. I hope thisis published because I'd like to read the whole thing and just find reading from my monitor too hard! VERY Best with this! Backed!

One thing...named Roy? It is my age showing, no doubt, but Roy is too much cowboy to be the divine creator.

I especially enjoyed reading your last chapter. It summarized your whole book. I'm hoping this book will get published. It's both educational and testemonial. Thanks for sharing.

This is the kind of progressive, stimulating and comprehensive thinking that we need to have religion make sense, recover lost morality, and lure people back to God.

Very spooky in a nice sort of way. This book will do well in the sci-fi circles. As one who is not really into this sort of adventure, I can say that you have a very good imagination and has narrated it well to the reader.
Good luck to you and your book, hoping to see you at the top.
Cheers and good luck, if you can spare the time to look over my book 'THE OUTRAGE' I will very appreciative.
Cheers,
Pamela

Dear Thomas

It is so good to see that your book was well received. I have already commented and backed your book, and as at times the backing have not shown, i will back your again, just to MAKE SURE.
I do wish you the very best with your writing

Denise
The Letter

Fascinating. It is obvious that you are a very deep thinker who mulls over the questions of life and creation.
Well done on putting it down on paper. God expresses himself in so many varied and interesting ways, and here is another fine example. You have read one of my books already, maybe you would find the time to take a look at The Poetic Voice of Soul.
Good luck with your fine book. Eunice.

Dear Tom, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed my memoir book, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." I really appreciate it. :) Could you please take a moment to back my other memoir book, "Tell Me True Love Stories?" Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Thomas,
I enjoy sci fi and thinking about the cosmos, where we began, how life was formed, etc. I won't necessarily agree with everything you write, but I think you have good writing skills!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Big Bang is credible. There is almost nothing on Evolution.

This is very well written. One improvement though from my point of view would be to write it without giving any credence to the fanciful theories of big bang and evolution. David

I have taken your comments to heart. Much appreciated. There is more dialog in Chpt. 1. I do understand, 'telling too much.' I felt the story was in the telling, but the how it is told can make it more interesting. Working on it. Grace and peace. Tom B.

This is an interesting concept, trying to put the Bible in modern terms, trying to compete against all the fantasy and sci-fi material working against it. I think you need to rethink your opening chapter. You start off telling us what the chapter is about and who the main character is and then illustrate a discussion he had with his associates. I got lost/bored and skipped to the next chapter. Same thing, lots of tell without much dialogue or action.

If you are trying to do a comparative story and bring the Bible to life, presenting something more in tune with what others are reading these days, you should bring it more to life. Your writing style and technique are solid and strong. But you need to bring more life to it, stop telling so much.

This is, of course, just my opinion. My ADD brain got bored and started skimming, never a good sign. I'd suggest you weigh my opinions against those of other solid critiquers before you make any changes. This is your story to sell, don't make changes based on one or two people. Good luck.

Mary M -- Heartstrings

Hi Thomas, you've imagination a plenty to write something like this! I enjoyed what I read. You've almost reconverted me to sci.fi. Not quite though! Backed with plaesure. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

However - He is always there. Thanks for your comment.

Hi Thomas,

'Challenging the mind to think Biblically without mentioning the Bible or God.' (from your pitch)

The opening makes me think of Hindu creation myths as much as the Bible...isn't that the point?

Backed for removing God from the equation.

Best wishes,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS / BRAHMA'S TWILIGHT

Hi Thomas,

'Challenging the mind to think Biblically without mentioning the Bible or God.' (from your pitch)

The opening makes me think of Hindu creation myths as much as the Bible...isn't that the point?

Backed for removing God from the equation.

Best wishes,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS / BRAHMA'S TWILIGHT

It should all be there - the complete Wonder of Terra. I will look at Paperbats. Thanks for your kind words.

Thomas. I was impressed by The Wonder of Terra - and I have not said that so far today!.
I felt I must read some of it. although you appear to have only loaded part of your novel, i was impressed by its originality and creativity. Plot's pace was good, as was the description. Well done. will read some more and get back to you. BACKED.
I would appreciate you looking/backing at my childrens' book if you think fit - Paperbat Adventures. Thanks
Jerry - paperbats

You comments are greatly appreciated. I'll take a look and give them serious thought. The approach was an 'outside-in' consideration, seeing Roy as a thrid party. The focus was the Wonder of his work. Thanks again. I'll check out Solitude.

Though I don't agree with the premise of reducing the almighty God to a being named Roy, the concept does make good fiction. The story looks intriguing, but perhaps the introduction should be changed, it sounds like the opening commentary to an old "Twilight Zone" episode. For a book, this isn't so great because you shift from narrator to story, and I feel disconnected, as if I am always "looking in from the outside" rather than trying to be involved in the story. That is, I already know who (what) Roy is and what his intentions are Chapter one even gets going.

My suggestion would be to dump the narator portion and begin with the dialogue from Roy, leading the reader to figure out for themselves who [he] is during the course of the chapter.

Has promise, backed.

If you get a chance, please check out Solitude.

Regard- AP

Though I don't agree with the premise of reducing the almighty God to a being named Roy, the concept does make good fiction. The story looks intriguing, but perhaps the introduction should be changed, it sounds like the opening commentary to an old "Twilight Zone" episode. For a book, this isn't so great because you shift from narrator to story, and I feel disconnected, as if I am always "looking in from the outside" rather than trying to be involved in the story. That is, I already know who (what) Roy is and what his intentions are Chapter one even gets going.

My suggestion would be to dump the narator portion and begin with the dialogue from Roy, leading the reader to figure out for themselves who [he] is during the course of the chapter.

Has promise, backed.

If you get a chance, please check out Solitude.

Regard- AP

Thomas. I was impressed by The Wonder of Terra - and I have not said that so far today!.
I felt I must read some of it. although you appear to have only loaded part of your novel, i was impressed by its originality and creativity. Plot's pace was good, as was the description. Well done. will read some more and get back to you. BACKED.
I would appreciate you looking/backing at my childrens' book if you think fit - Paperbat Adventures. Thanks
Jerry - paperbats

This is very well written. One improvement though from my point of view would be to write it without giving any credence to the fanciful theories of big bang and evolution. David

I like your premise, it's different and original. It's well written and entertaining, I like what you've done with this. God as Roy, that's brilliant. Love it!

Missy

This is a very cool novel and premise. You have the perfect writing style for this kind of work and I love the fact that God's name is Roy. This book should go far.

Good luck with all of your writing and have a great day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

Thomas,
The Wonder of Terra is a spiritual and philosophical work of science fiction. What a fascinating combination. Backed with pleasure.

Wow, Thomas. I cannot tell you how many times I've attempted writing something like this. It's daunting and challenging, to say the least. I have to say, you've probably done it better than I ever could have done. A few punctuation issues that need to get smoothed out in the second draft, but otherwise your premise is good and the characters are fascinating. Well done.

Hi Thomas, This is intriguing because the creation story is written from a more scientific than mythological view. I liked the translation of communication between Roy and his associates. And the fact that time and space are new concepts that he’s originating from the eternal standpoint. It’s described well, how he lives in another dimension and needs a controller who has similarities to him in order to proceed. I found it fascinating, especially the scientific translation of religion. Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

You have finely crafted a most unique and quite interesting storyline on the creation of the universe. Well done. Your character development of Roy is excellent as is your use of imagery. All of this coupled with your imaginative writing makes your fantasy a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

WONDER OF TERRA
This is a story with a complex pitch. I was happy to see when I began to read the actual story that things got much easier to read. I think the idea of reinventing the cosmos is a good premise. Made this an interesting read. I’m happy to add it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 4th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

"The Wonder of Tera ..."

Interesting first chapter. A new twist on an old theme, a "being" who is somewhere "out there," beyond the elements of time and space, but who nonetheless is "located" somewhere, although it may be in a place far from our world. The "being" that is beyond us is is nonethelss human-like, he even has a human sounding name. For all its modernity it has a very traditional underlying motif, at least as I view it.

Whether or not I agree with the "theology" involved (I don't think of my personal God as "located" anywhere.), I can appreciate the creative thrust of this story and the attempt to modernize these ancient concepts.

Backed.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"
F. Ellsworth Lockwood

I am interested in your book and am putting it on my watchlist. I will be reading parts of it as soon as I can. In that it is related to the Bible, it perhaps bears some similarity to my own book, which, if you are a Christian, potential Christian, or a thoughtful and objective skeptic in this regard, you might enjoy. Its title is "Things Are Not as They Seem."

Dear Thomas
what can i say but wow, where does on get these amazing ideas from. CONGRATS on your ability to create a totally original read and wonderful concept. I have not read all your writing, but i do wish to support your climb so will back this now and possibly comment a bit further on.
BACKED by me for sure
I you would take time to comment on my book and if you feel so, back it. If not that is OK also
VERY best of luck
Denise
The Letter

Books like this are not common in the UK but you have woven a credible story that succeeds in provoking questions. Well done.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

I am not a science fiction reader or writer, so I feel unqualified to judge this. But I do like the concept of the plot and I hope this succeeds for you. Jayne

Dear Thomas

I would like to commend you on the skill you have applied, the imagination and the talent you have in writing this work of art of yours. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published and consider this book

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, comment which is important to me, and back my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Dear Thomas, I love that you quoted Romans 1:20 - so stratigic - we know & get to choose. :) The concept of not mentioning the God or the Bible is foreign to me since I've know Him since I was tiny. He's always been in my heart as long as I can remember & I always talk to Him & read His Word. :) Thank you for your provocative book. :) May you write many more about out Saviour. :) You may want to cut your longer paragraphs in 2 or many more for an easier read. :) God bless you for stepping forward with the Word. :) Love, Susie :) I've backed your book. :) Hope you'll back my 2 memoir/testimony books. :) Thanks. :)

Great story and i love what you are trying to do. I haven't read it all but i do hope to come back to this. meanwhile i've backed it with pleasure.

I'm enjoying your story. It is an interesting premise, Biblical yet modern. Great dialogue, but you could perhaps use more, or shorten your background info, or insert it elsewhere.

Great read. Backed!

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

This is epic and a battle that uses the human equation on a biblical scale with original and super ideas, where decisions are made that echo mankinds dilemmas through the years and gets to the root of who we are.

great story!