Boundary Limit

interesting piece of speculative fiction; should suit thriller fans

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Hi Lynne, you previously backed Boundary Limit, would you take another look and give it a star rating? The prologue and first chapter have been rewritten in line with feedback from the site, so it won't be exactly the same.
Thanks,
Xavier

Dear Xavier,

I think that your story is much fun. I know that much fun is needed to complete a tale like you do. You are very open with your sense of entertainment. Keep up the good clean times. And, thank you for giving your writing to us.

Have a nice evening,

Billy McBride

Several weeks ago I categorised Boundary Limit as an exciting read, which combined subjects & areas not usually brought together, but worked masterfully. An active, attention holding opening leads into strong robust prose which carries the reader effortlessly into the plot where the pace is maintained and the exposition is unfolded. This is indubiatiably a worthwile read. Try it. 6*. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

interesting piece of speculative fiction; should suit thriller fans

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Many thanks for the vote of confidence, here's hoping more people feel the same....

Engaging, Captivating and Explosively Descriptive - From the start, Boundary Limit held my attention and kept me wanting to read on (which was not good when I was in work) but the continuation when I got home was highly anticipated and I have to say Paul, I was not disappointed.

It amazes me that you have such a talent for writing and I look forward to acquiring a copy of the published book when the deserved success of publisher backing comes to you. A highly recommended read with "Backing" from me. Big thumbs up....!!!

Engaging, Captivating and Explosively Descriptive - From the start, Boundary Limit held my attention and kept me wanting to read on (which was not good when I was in work) but the continuation when I got home was highly anticipated and I have to say Paul, I was not disappointed.

It amazes me that you have such a talent for writing and I look forward to acquiring a copy of the published book when the deserved success of publisher backing comes to you. A highly recommended read with "Backing" from me. Big thumbs up....!!!

hi Robert, thanks for the feedback. I looked up roiling, because it wasn't a typo, and what I got back was "to stir up or move in a turgid manner" when used with a liquid, or it can alternatively be used as an emotional descriptor "emotion roiled within her." Of course neither of these applies to smoke, and as I haven't set out to reinvent English, I will probably change it to your suggestion. So thanks for that. Piled the pressure on now - I am heading off into the back room to read some of the Tuzla Run, will comment shortly.

An exciting read combining areas not usually put together, it works. One glitch in the section headed Dec. 24 2001 you use the expression "roiling smoke" is this a typo. for rolling? I think this will be a great read when it's complete
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

An exciting read combining areas not usually put together, it works. One glitch in the section headed Dec. 24 2001 you use the expression "roiling smoke" is this a typo. for rolling? I think this will be a great read when it's complete
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

Cracking read :) Your writing is very smooth and your story very enjoyable. Popped you on my shelf. Good luck :)

Paul,

You've got a real gift for writing ripping prose. This has a very intense opening, but it's supported by your gift for engaging text and brevity. Blake's a likable protagonist and I'm curious to see where you take him.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

Thanks for the backing, will add yours to my watchlist and hopefully check it out this weekend.

Good stiff amd well presented. I actually felt I could see the two little girls disappearing before my eyes. Good scene leading up to that inciting incident, and great follow-through. I have to vote his with a back. Please look at my own work, if you have the time. Satan's Daughter Goes to Pittsburgh might give you a smile or two to ease the pain of this tragic storyline.

Good stiff amd well presented. I actually felt I could see the two little girls disappearing before my eyes. Good scene leading up to that inciting incident, and great follow-through. I have to vote his with a back. Please look at my own work, if you have the time. Satan's Daughter Goes to Pittsburgh might give you a smile or two to ease the pain of this tragic storyline.

Thanks for the great feedback, particularly the nits. Writing the work myself sometimes I don't see things like this, so I'll take a look at it over the weekend. The name "Trubble" is deliberate as I use it later on in the pun like fashion you spotted. For example there's a line where someone says, "you want trouble. You've got it, Major Trubble." I think people will either love it or hate it, however I am planning a sequel, and the reader will see that the name is an evolution. Thanks again.

Interesting and highly topical premise, Paul. It becomes increasingly obvious as the early part of the first chapter progresses, when this is and what is going to happen. When it does happen, it plays with intense drama, and Blake's raw grief is palpable. Neat and highly visual description of the silent operation at the cave, 'blood began to pool on the thirsty cave bottom'. Then a superb rescue followed by all hell let loose. Aziz is there to provide backup, but not for long, 'Nil captivum'.

Exciting and exhilarating stuff: SAS, covert operations, explosions, revenge; and this is just the start. The plot promises that the stakes are going up to universal proportions, and that Blake and his team will need more skill and cunning than has ever been demanded before ... backed.

Possible nits: 'looking at the front ... took a look behind ... Look, the back seats'. 'but for those that [who] took a second glance'. 'the officer unconscious before he hit the floor as Blake punched him on the run', this out-of-sequence description slows the action - the reader has to twist it around to make sense. You could probably omit everything after 'floor'. 'before looking over ... Before he even'. I'd consider changing the name 'Trubble' to something less pun-like.

Interesting and highly topical premise, Paul. It becomes increasingly obvious as the early part of the first chapter progresses, when this is and what is going to happen. When it does happen, it plays with intense drama, and Blake's raw grief is palpable. Neat and highly visual description of the silent operation at the cave, 'blood began to pool on the thirsty cave bottom'. Then a superb rescue followed by all hell let loose. Aziz is there to provide backup, but not for long, 'Nil captivum'.

Exciting and exhilarating stuff: SAS, covert operations, explosions, revenge; and this is just the start. The plot promises that the stakes are going up to universal proportions, and that Blake and his team will need more skill and cunning than has ever been demanded before ... backed.

Possible nits: 'looking at the front ... took a look behind ... Look, the back seats'. 'but for those that [who] took a second glance'. 'the officer unconscious before he hit the floor as Blake punched him on the run', this out-of-sequence description slows the action - the reader has to twist it around to make sense. You could probably omit everything after 'floor'. 'before looking over ... Before he even'. I'd consider changing the name 'Trubble' to something less pun-like.

Dear Paul


I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published

.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED FOR SURE BY ME
Denise
The Letter

Susie, if I didn't think the book had something about it I wouldn't have backed it. However, as No 1 reviewer, if you want to send some people my way to check out Boundary Limit, that would be very much appreciated.... although I want them to read the material and not automatically back it.

You are totally fantastic, Paul! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

You are totally fantastic, Paul! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Hi Elijah, many thanks for your kind words.

Hi Xaxier,

Very impressive pitch with authentic detail. Read through the first two chapters convinced me of your creative potency, a mastercraft. I do like sci-fi, but this is with a difference. What captures my backing of any book is first the title, the short pitch and the long pitch. Description, dialogue - well suited. A compelling read, truly enjoyed. Goodluck with it.

Hi Xaxier,

Very impressive pitch with authentic detail. Read through the first two chapters convinced me of your creative potency, a mastercraft. I do like sci-fi, but this is with a difference. What captures my backing of any book is first the title, the short pitch and the long pitch. Description, dialogue - well suited. A compelling read, truly enjoyed. Goodluck with it.

Thanks for commenting and backing. Boundary Limit is as much a horror story as sci fi, but I think your market prediction is right. I've added your book to my watch list and will take a look at it in the next couple of weeks.

Sci-fi isn't really my thing, and I think previous commenters already gave you some great feedback. Wish I had something else to offer. I can say only that I find your characters believable and from the chapters I've read I think this will apply widely to those who like sci-fi, especially the male audience. Good luck!

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Sci-fi isn't really my thing, and I think previous commenters already gave you some great feedback. Wish I had something else to offer. I can say only that I find your characters believable and from the chapters I've read I think this will apply widely to those who like sci-fi, especially the male audience. Good luck!

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Hi Kevin, this is the most comprhensive feedback I have had to date, so thank you very much. There's a lot to digest here, so I'll look at it over the weekend with the book in front of me so I can see the specifics. Once again, many thanks.

where I wrote "simple present tense" in the longer comment, I meant simple past tense

Kevin Clark

where I wrote "simple present tense" in the longer comment, I meant simple past tense

Kevin Clark

The first part is pretty intense, almost a little too intense. Then the next part has a good pace and good action.

There are places where this could use some editing. In most places where you have different forms of past past tense "had been" or "were doing", you might be better off going with simple present tense. The other thing I noticed is a large number of quite long sentences, many of which would be better broken down into two sentences. I'd limit myself to a total of three clauses per sentence; after that, it becomes too complicated for the reader.

Here are a few specific suggestions:

"a couple of" personally don't like this colloquialism
"The number 30..." this is a bit of a runon sentence, might split
"same thought as her" I think should be "same thought as she (had)"
"were stood" I think should be "stood", unless this is some bus

terminology I don't know
"Both of them had decided they didn't" this sentence seems a little

awkward to me
"do herself when she'd been growing up." to "do herself as a child."
"After all, her brothers..." this is a bit of an awkward runon
At 9:35 the mom says they will meet the dad in 20 minutes, but at 9:40

the mom think about how they will meet him in 5 minutes.
"last half hour in." probably shouldn't end with a preposition
"At first glance..." another very long sentence
"which was saying" might be simpler as "which said"
"Blake heard the blast" another long sentence
"semi automatic" to "semi-automatic"
"head-ed" to "headed"
"perhaps a hundred" not sure the "perhaps" adds anything here
"encamp-ment" to "encampment"
"camouf-laged"
"underst-anding"
"It was perhaps ten minutes" to "Ten minutes"
"ramp that lead" in US would be "ramp that led"
"Firstly there was a series" to "A series"
"Sahid Aziz stopped..." another long sentence
"Aziz was the Taliban for this district" to "As the Taliban commander for this district"
"hostage that had been" to "hostage who had been"
"well thrown" to "well-thrown"
"And now men were dropping" to "Men dropped"

Hope this helps,
Kevin Clark
(Will of God)

Hi Andrew, thanks for the comment.

An impressive pitch is followed up by an equally impressive piece. There is real power to the narrative and a sense of the danger that puts the thriller into a higher category of effective attention grabber.

BACKED

An impressive pitch is followed up by an equally impressive piece. There is real power to the narrative and a sense of the danger that puts the thriller into a higher category of effective attention grabber.

BACKED

Thanks for this Faith, I appreciate the time you've taken to have a look at the book, you must be inundated. Also thanks fore the kind words. Don't forget to back it though. Many Thanks,

BOUNDARY LIMIT
Sorry to take so long to get to your book - I have been really busy since I hit no 4!I have now read chapter one and I was extrememly impressed. It was easy to read, very gripping and I read it with pleasure. This is very good writing.
The part dealing with the SAS attack in Afghanistan is well-described, tense, and powerful. I do enjoy something I can get my teeth into! - well done and good luck
Faith
The Assassins Village

BOUNDARY LIMIT
Sorry to take so long to get to your book - I have been really busy since I hit no 4!I have now read chapter one and I was extrememly impressed. It was easy to read, very gripping and I read it with pleasure. This is very good writing.
The part dealing with the SAS attack in Afghanistan is well-described, tense, and powerful. I do enjoy something I can get my teeth into! - well done and good luck
Faith
The Assassins Village

Amazing stuff here! One teeny tiny thing I noticed...
"The girls were stood...." Should be either "the girls stood" (past simple) or "the girls were standing" (past progessive).
But everything else is awesome so happily backed!

Maria.

Will happily continue to read this book! Got my backing. CC

Will happily continue to read this book! Got my backing. CC

Intended to have a short look at this book, with the intention of reading it later.
No-way, it's a book that once started, holds the reader to it.
Sad at first with the London bombings and then really gets started.
Some excellent description with the SAS operations.
Your book is written on the lines of other SAS author's and is just as good.
I back it .SHELVED.

kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest 'The Time Zone' )

Barry, thanks for the feedback, and can see where you were coming from on both bits, and will consider a rephrase. This is the type of feedback that's needed, keep it up.

Hi Paul,
I read chapter one and was very impressed. In fact, I was gripped and read the whole piece quickly and with pleasure. My son's wife has just had twins (Lucy and Kate), so the whole thing with them on the bus, the fun of going upstairs, the disappointment re. the front seat, the book and other planned birthday present, all helped to make the terrible climax of that journey, truly horrifying. I realised what was happening after we'd been introduced to Blake Trubble, waiting for his wife and kids. (the sentence '...he had just exited the little coffee shop he'd spent the last half hour in', seemed a bit awkward.) The news on the TV is the big giveaway, of course. Then, the tension becomes almost unbearable. Great writing.
The next part deals with the SAS attack in Afghanistan. I liked the guards smoking cigarettes (red lights) and the attack is well-described, very tense, swift and done with ultimate force. Phrases such as 'double-tap' give a professional feel.( 'He withdrew his eye' was a little ambiguous, as i imagined a false eye, for some reason!).
The horrible Abu is then suitably dispatched. 'Fire in the hold'. But the action isn't over yet. Here comes the Taliban Cavalry, led by Sahid Aziz. Oh-oh! No probs -- Blake Trouble is on the case.
One of the best things I've read here, for quite a while. Well done.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
LITTLE KRISA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi Paul,
I read chapter one and was very impressed. In fact, I was gripped and read the whole piece quickly and with pleasure. My son's wife has just had twins (Lucy and Kate), so the whole thing with them on the bus, the fun of going upstairs, the disappointment re. the front seat, the book and other planned birthday present, all helped to make the terrible climax of that journey, truly horrifying. I realised what was happening after we'd been introduced to Blake Trubble, waiting for his wife and kids. (the sentence '...he had just exited the little coffee shop he'd spent the last half hour in', seemed a bit awkward.) The news on the TV is the big giveaway, of course. Then, the tension becomes almost unbearable. Great writing.
The next part deals with the SAS attack in Afghanistan. I liked the guards smoking cigarettes (red lights) and the attack is well-described, very tense, swift and done with ultimate force. Phrases such as 'double-tap' give a professional feel.( 'He withdrew his eye' was a little ambiguous, as i imagined a false eye, for some reason!).
The horrible Abu is then suitably dispatched. 'Fire in the hold'. But the action isn't over yet. Here comes the Taliban Cavalry, led by Sahid Aziz. Oh-oh! No probs -- Blake Trouble is on the case.
One of the best things I've read here, for quite a while. Well done.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
LITTLE KRISA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Thanks for your kind words Zan. I hope you enjoy the rest

Boundary Limit
Paul Xavier Jones

Paul,
Your title, cover as well as your pitches all look very good in my opinion. This reads authentic and I am enjoying it. Description, dialogue - all well suited. "We have an appointment with a helicopter" so I am off and plan to read more later. Good luck - although I don't think you need it. This is a good plot and you write very well.

Boundary Limit
Paul Xavier Jones

Paul,
Your title, cover as well as your pitches all look very good in my opinion. This reads authentic and I am enjoying it. Description, dialogue - all well suited. "We have an appointment with a helicopter" so I am off and plan to read more later. Good luck - although I don't think you need it. This is a good plot and you write very well.

Incredible as always, facts are authentic.... people seem so real.. I could alost feel as though i was there

Hi Patrick, many thanks for the comment. I admit I did a lot of research for this book, I felt the same way you do - I wanted as much authenticity as possible. All of the stuff about the SAS is accurate apart from the specilaist role of this team. All the LHC stuff in terms of names and function are factual as well. I will be loading a chapter every other day or so if you'd like to see how this plays out.

Authentic details are the most important things for a book like this especially weapons and tactics. The 'Ex-SAS' tag is so over-used that it loses credibility. You however seem to have this spot-on, even down to the sub-sonic ammunition. An excellent adventure filled with authenticity, well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Authentic details are the most important things for a book like this especially weapons and tactics. The 'Ex-SAS' tag is so over-used that it loses credibility. You however seem to have this spot-on, even down to the sub-sonic ammunition. An excellent adventure filled with authenticity, well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

A stonking good read - keep up the great work Paul!!!

Wockers

No doubt another fantastic read from PXJ!!

17 August 2010
Paul,
Writing the book is the easy, and most enjoyable, part. Uploading a bit convoluted but not impossible. As you probably know, the degree of difficulty increases when trying to get others to read it. To get backing, and preferably with comments, is an accomplishment. You need the tenacity & thick skin of a door to door salesman. So, knock knock. Would you care to exchange reads? (And yes, this is Spam.) Thanks for your time. Bocri

Hi Paul, What a strong outset. It's written so that something is impending but I thought maybe the family would get through. Plenty of anticipation and then the disaster was done with the impact that showed how Blake would be obsessed. His striking the policeman - nice touch. This has such a personal dimension that the intrigue Blake gets into looks to be very readable for the general reader. And involving! Easily shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Fabulous story! Blake's motivation is well covered in the the prologue of your novel...maybe a bit too much, but the story moves at double time after that. Great dialogue and accurate military jargon. This promises to be an excellent read, and I will continue to do so. Backed with pleasure!

P.S. Thanks for rescuing the Canadian :-).

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Hi Eveleen, thanks for the positive comment, hope I can tempt you to read it all at some point. The work is finished, but I'm only uploading a chapter at a time at the moment. Put two new ones on today.

Regards,

Boundary limit
For what I've seen so far it's good writing
Backed with pleasure
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

You have finely crafted a very interesting and compelling storyline and the Prologue sets up the book perferectly. Your use of short paragraphs and crisp dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well and also helps to heighten the tension. Your character development of Blake is excellent as is your use imagery and foreshadowing. All of this coupled with your descriptive writing makes your adventure thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Enjoyed what I have read so far.

What a fab book, this would make a cool film. Really enjoyed this, could not put the book down and found it very gripping. The first chapter is fantastic and draws you in very quickly.
The story line was rather clever with the use of modern day science such as the Hadron Collider and our fears over Scientists creating or finding something mankind should not.
The Characters were animated and fun, really enjoyed the cross over from Sci-fi thriller with added kick ass Aliens meets Bourne Identity "More of this please" get on with the sequel or better still film script :0)

It looks like a good read.