Scrapyard Blues

11 September 2010
Scrapyard Blues requires no waxing of the lyrical, no gilding of the lily, and certainly no attempt to provide 'improvement' criticism. It is excellent -- purely and simply. To put my money where my mouth is I have put this book on my recommended reads list on my bio page. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

This is the very definition of a noir crime thriller and written by a powerful, authoratitive and crafted hand.

BACKED

Hi Derryl,

I enjoyed reading 'Scrapyard', it is beautifully written for a start. IMO it has that 'Get Carter' redemption feel to it that really drives the narrative. The storyline and premise are strong enough in my view to support the weaving of back-story and crafting of characterisation in the early chapters. And the writing was so good that I didn't feel any compunction to skim.

You have a nice turn of phrase - lots of lines had me smiling. The undercurrent of humour in the writing works well. It is that great and classic combination in an MC: dark humour and redemptive purpose.

I am in two minds about the prologue/prelude: I understand why it is there and it is superb prose, but I'm one of those readers that wants to get right into the story, the characters and the dialogue. When this happens in Chp 1 the story comes alive. I loved all the rock n blues references and I thought the back-story in Ch 2 was right for this type of book.

Whatever a reader's preferences on genre and style, the depth and breadth of writing in Scrapyard is undeniable and should be appreciated by anyone who enjoys the craft of writing - I assume that's all of us on here?

Great title too.

Backed.

Terry
Weekend in Weighton

This is clever, intelligent read. Great skill and command of words is evident in your writing style. You have the ability to become a best selling author with such a work. I am happy to back you. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

You've constructed a gripping thriller. The characters shine and have depth. The intense narrative glows. Crisp descriptions of settings. Strong structure. Superb pacing. Adept writing. A captivating read. Backed.

Hi. I browsed through your book and have enjoyed it enough to back it. Interesting story and strong voice. I will try to return, when I have mo re time, and will do a more in depth commentary.
Could you please take a look at mine?
Dan

The story has a great premise and kicks into gear in chapter II. I like your style.
Mike (Unholy Grail)

So well done it makes me jealous. I read the whole book and was so absorbed that I didn't feel the time pass by. JD isn't a one sided character and he carries the plot line with grace. All your positive comments are well deserved. Thank you for writing Scrapyard Blues.

This is such strong, confident and precise prose - a real pleasure to read. JD comes across as a man without doubts. Scary.
RT

SCRAPYARD BLUES-Derryl Flynn
hullo Derryl. Definately a true thriller with the MC attempting to correct a wrong while dealing with his own personal alter self. Great stuff. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that if you have.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

You've constructed a gripping thriller. The characters shine and have depth. The intense narrative glows. Crisp descriptions of settings. Strong structure. Superb pacing. Adept writing. A captivating read. Backed.

Derryl

Wasn't sure at first - the opening chapter with its unattributed dialogue, dream stream-of-consciousness and all too brief reality check at the end I found rather offputting.

But then Ch 2 grabs the attention. It's convincing in its detail, builds the character from inside and shows confidence in style and humour. If I was picking this up in a bookshop Ch 1 would have me leaving it there, Ch 2 would have me buying it - personal opinion!

From Ch 2 the assured, strong narrative certainly merits a backing.

Look forward to your comments on mine.

Yours
Colin Eston
Dying for Love

Hi Derryl,

I enjoyed reading 'Scrapyard', it is beautifully written for a start. IMO it has that 'Get Carter' redemption feel to it that really drives the narrative. The storyline and premise are strong enough in my view to support the weaving of back-story and crafting of characterisation in the early chapters. And the writing was so good that I didn't feel any compunction to skim.

You have a nice turn of phrase - lots of lines had me smiling. The undercurrent of humour in the writing works well. It is that great and classic combination in an MC: dark humour and redemptive purpose.

I am in two minds about the prologue/prelude: I understand why it is there and it is superb prose, but I'm one of those readers that wants to get right into the story, the characters and the dialogue. When this happens in Chp 1 the story comes alive. I loved all the rock n blues references and I thought the back-story in Ch 2 was right for this type of book.

Whatever a reader's preferences on genre and style, the depth and breadth of writing in Scrapyard is undeniable and should be appreciated by anyone who enjoys the craft of writing - I assume that's all of us on here?

Great title too.

Backed.

Terry
Weekend in Weighton

Hi Derryl, love the genre. Nice, cool visuals. You rather owned me with your synopsis. I'm not a critic, just a screenwriter who appreciates good structure, and nice story telling. Backed.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

This is clever, intelligent read. Great skill and command of words is evident in your writing style. You have the ability to become a best selling author with such a work. I am happy to back you. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Very well written with vivid descriptions and dialogue that moves the story along. Backed, with pleasure.

Carol

Hello Derryl - I tried to put your book on my shelf yesterday and again today but somehow it hasn't appeared there. Obviously I am doing something wrong but cannot work out what that might be. Anyway I'll put you on my watch list.
Regards,
Child - Atramentus Speaks

I have just read the first three chapters of your book. The opening chapter is masterful leaving the reader in no doubt of the turmoil going on in this man's head and you conjure the setting and atmosphere well with an economy of few words. However as the story went on I found the pace a little slow although I liked the way you handled the strangeness of the outside world and the changes it had gone through in the twenty five years JD had been incarcerated very much. You can very certainly write. This is going on my shelf and when I have more time I will read the book in its entirety and I have backed your book.
Child - Atramentus Speaks.

there's a good pace to this; easy to read, enjoyable story...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Scrapyard blues
The pitch is good, so is the opening
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

I thoroughly enjoyed part 1 and the power fop your writing carries through with this newest work. Utterly captivating. Backed.

Miles A. Robinson
Song for My Father and Loud Lucy Ludlow

Well this was an excellent surprise. Well written and very very entertaining.

Scrapyard Blues – “Fair Critter” review

Sorry this has taken so long. Hope I can offer something worth the wait.

Pitch:
Overall, both pitches look pretty good. The long one’s just a little hard to read in one big block of text, so you might consider breaking it up into two or three paragraphs.

Prologue/Prelude (whatever you want to call it):
I admit, I’m not sure about the opening. A couple of quotes, a conversation between Jack and ... someone (the Dark Angel, I assume, based on the pitch), and poetry-as-nightmare. While an interesting approach, it doesn’t quite do the job of drawing me in, perhaps feeling too fragmented.

Ch1:
This does a better job of pulling me in, making me curious about Jack and what’s going on in his head. There are a few awkward phrases, such as “key card that is attached to a chain that is in turn attached to his belt” – there must be a better way to convey that.

On a technical note, some of the punctuation feels a bit off, especially missing commas, a lot of semicolons aren’t quite correct, and some of the dashes are a little distracting. I get that you’ve written this in a noir style, so sentence fragments are the norm, but be careful that it doesn’t get *too* choppy.

When it launches into the flashback (“My name is...”) you lost my interest completely. I assume some of the information like meeting up with IRA members is important later, but the delivery makes it feel irrelevant and it takes far too long. It might have worked better for me if you went straight to his job without having Jack offer so much commentary on himself and how great he is first. We can figure out he’s cocky without being told.

Ch2:
Wait, the start of this chapter feels like you’re starting the book over again. It’s a little jarring.

I find myself resisting the urge to skim a lot here. There’s a place for showing and a place for telling, but this has so much telling and meandering that it’s hard for me to really get into it.

I like the premise, and the juxtaposition of Jack as a cocky young man and as a grizzled ex-con. Perhaps if Jack explained a little less and you just showed him to us, the story would have a little more forward momentum. Just a thought.

Best of luck with this.

Fair critters review - An interesting premise but I am finding it all a bit bogged down in explanation and backstory. I can see that going back in the past is relevant, but as I reader i am only really interested in the past directly related to the girl's death and not the music he was into and the guys he is working with. I managed four chapters, but found myself skipping over the longer paragraphs and looking for dialogue and plot development. In my opinion, this needs cutting back and the pace lifting - at times it felt repetitious e.g. he introduces himself twice in two chapters and I think it is obvious to the reader he believes himself innocent, so returning to this point made me feel as if the story wasn't moving forward. Some of the descriptions are very good, but I don't feel compelled to keep going. Hope my thoughts are of some use. Jake

There is some real thinking and philosophy here, first revealed in the dialogue with God/the Devil at the start , then more acutely in the italicised poem which I found stunning. Excellent, compelling read. Please split your pitch into three or four paras. It's a bit daunting as it stands; in my opinion, that is! I'll return to read more after catching up a bit! Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

On Chapter 1 (Listed as 2 here)

Love the feel of the prison in this chapter. You've really made it come alive. I loved the lines such as "The walls know me better" (which of course was only as great as it was because of the sentences preceding and what follows) and "He looks as me like I'm thick, and I feel it, a total fucking idiot" The self deprecating humor throughout is fantastic. This story has one of the best voices on Authonomy. Work of genius. You have what it takes.

xBeccaX

WOW!!! This opening is stellar! I loved the dialogue and I wonder what are his perceptions and why does he have them and what is the truth of this story. The bit you said about do until others... I wonder why he now thinks that's a bad idea. See, for me, I always say to treat others how THEY want to be treated, because I realize not everyone wants to be treated the way I do. We're all different people. but that's my own philosophy anyway. I'm curious to see where you are going with this.

Really fantastic. I'm impressed.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

11 September 2010
Scrapyard Blues requires no waxing of the lyrical, no gilding of the lily, and certainly no attempt to provide 'improvement' criticism. It is excellent -- purely and simply. To put my money where my mouth is I have put this book on my recommended reads list on my bio page. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Excellent plotting, very atmospheric, storyline carries the reader along, dialogue natural, main character flawed but interesting, look forward to seeing how it all pans out. Backed Jaye Hill Runa Seven

Scrapyard Blues is an intensely gripping and thrilling read. Backed with enthusiasm.

Wasn't expecting such an avant-garde opening, with a dialogue involving (who I assumed was) Death, and then the dreamscape before we're pulled back into the prison block. This one has a lot going on in it, alongside a mystery that must be solved and the guilt and despair that the main character seems as if he must carry. Smart, agile opening

Pat Black
Snarl

Hi Derryl
a very captivating story, convincing and gripping, more polished than your previous work.
I am impressed, backed .

Derryl,
What a gut wrenching,yet sensitive story you've written. You have the heart of a true writer, for sure. But an editor may never get beyond the first page without some work on the beginning of your story. That would be a damn shame because I believe, with some work, your book will be published.

I've only read the first 4 chapters due to time constraints, but I can assure you I will finish all your chapters. Your story is the kind that lingers in your mind long after you've finished it.

As for suggestions, first, you have way too many quotes at the very beginning. And for heaven's sake, shorten your paragraphs. Too intimidating reading the long, long ones.

Your story came alive for me when JD is walking out of prison, I was hooked,... until in chapter 2 you do a back flash to his youth. I didn't want to leave the older, wiser, JD, and truth to tell nothing of any importance was accomplished in the flash back. Every page, every paragraph, every word should be furthering your story. How did the scene with his fellow workers further your plot?

Of course, being an American I could not understand a lot of the English jargon in that scene.

JD, you have an authentic voice and well developed characters, and I wish you great success.
Sandra Davidson - COLD MOON RISING

iNDEED A MASTREPIECE OF A THRILLER.

BSET
THE MIND SETTER

This is such a compelling read! If I were a publisher Id be calling you pronto! backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Compelling reading, will do more when I find the time...backed with pleasure.
Angus Shoor Caan.

Violet Hiccup

A fine, gothic like thriller. Very well written.
Backed
Mal

Hi Derryl, This is so involving, the interior of JD as he’s being released and the depiction of the guards, his view of the world at the first encounters. He’s so sure of his innocence and the law so sure of his guilt. Then when he introduces himself and his experiences with the opposite sex, he does seem wild. It’s an excellent portrait and the facts of his case very intriguing. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Definately my kind of book. Difficult to put down once started reading. I wish you all the best.

Backed with pleasure
Mrdog

"The Devil's music" wonderful description used by some. The introduction is a work of art. A suggestion is to break the italics into two or more paragraphs purely for ease of reading. Great character names, (Digweed). Thanks for sharing. Backed with pleasure. Chuck

Fair Crit. Seems the writers who ask for honest criticism never need it as much as the ones who just want approval. Go figure. I had a bit of trouble figuring some things out, but only because I'm not from your part of the world. Good, cynical, MC, interesting situation, good writing skills. Backed.

JohnB

Excellent! I like JD as a character, sure he's down and a shadow of the man he was but there's something about him that you really want to root for. I want to see him figure this out. Your use of the first person present tense is wonderful, I don't see how this could have been done any other way. Dialogue is natural and doesn't feel stiff or forced. You've got a great flow to this too, the pace helps keep the reader going. I wish I could sit here all day and read more, I'd really like to see how this ends. I may cheat and jump around to the last few chapters. Anyway, I'm rambling, great book!

Missy

To Derryl Flynn (Scrapyard Blues)

Great piece of writing. Haven't had time to read it all, but I've read enough to know what I like. I think you are due for support from felow writers. I'm only too pleased to give you my BACKING. Good luck on my bookshelf.

Frank James (The Contractor.

Derryl: do apologize for this spam comment but I did BACK your book. Though my book is currently on the Ed's Desk, I can still use your comments on my book before the end of this month. Thanks - cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

You have written a very interesting and gritty storyline and created a most memorable main character in Jack. I like your use of the first person narrative voice. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace has a good flow to it. This and your descriptive writing make your crime thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

SCRAPYARD BLUES
This is a story based on an interesting premise: what would it be like to get out of jail after 30 years and then try to catch a killer? You’re created a good character in JD; he’s likable sympathetic because he was wrongly accused of murder. I have to admit the first chapter confused me. I simply didn’t understand who was talking or what was happening. I wonder if you considered introducing JD first as he’s being released from prison; then introduce the voices that operate inside his head. I think that would make him easier to relate to. I’m happy to add it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 3rd place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

This is the very definition of a noir crime thriller and written by a powerful, authoratitive and crafted hand.

BACKED

Dear Derryl


I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art
of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you
feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also
getting this book of your published. ( I wish I had half the talent some of you have on this site)

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Derrryl -

Scapyards Blues - 25 years in jail ... 'You should've pleaded guilty mate; you'd have been long gone ' ... Here is one stubborn man. I like the writing, and the pacing back and forth to lead us into the life of JD Smith. And what a story it promises to be. Backed with pleasure.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)
To become more visible here with you novel, it's useful to comment on books, and, if you like what you read, give your supportive backing. Check out FAQ at the bottom of each authonomy page.

Excellent writing, and a good story. Best of luck to you and of course, backed by F. Ellsworth Lockwood, "The Final Cruise"

Dear Derryl, I love how you shared 25 years for what you didn't do in prison :) - it made me wonder if my past 25 years was like that, from age 45-70? :) I've been sick that long & it's like been like a prison (I'm now homebound for a long time), but then I thought back to when I was 15 & almost died with lupus, & decided in a prison of illness for 55 years is more like it - perspective :) - at least I can still get out of bed (barely). Your story really set me to thinking of being thankful for all of the good, though. :) Great write :) - your pitch, crisp dialogue, & paragraphing all made me read more. :) I've backed your book :) - hope you'll take a moment to back mine. :) Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
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"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."