Status Quo

Interesting read- vivid characters and intense scenes that grip the reader. In Chapter 1- why the 30 minute wait until the attacking squad could leave after being fired upon- is this due to some type of rules of engagement? It seem odd that they should just wait for this arbitrary amount of time. Also some minor typos- misplaced quotation marks in Chapter 1. I tried to upload chapter 3 and an error kept occurring. Chapter 4 was a repeat of chapter 2. Overall an enjoyable read. :) Best wishes. Desi.

Hi Jonathon,
I enjoyed your chapter one and thought it had much to commend.

The ambush and the carnage is well depicted. I thought Blake's decision was odd at first, but you explain it in what comes next and it convinced me.
I thought Malinda and Rogers chat was interesting and Maldina and Blakes, too, with the disclosure about her and Hurst having sex. A girl full of hate -- one to watch.
Back with the rebels, the conversation between Davies and Burrows furthers the plot and has a very happy ending.

I noticed a few small nits (feel free to ignore, of course).

'...weapon they was carrying' (were)
'poorly dressed ramblers' suggests this is a modern day story, set in UK, where the ramblers with their backpacks go trudging through the mist -- is this appropriate?.
repetition of 'group of forty'
I thought your paragraph contained too many numbers 'five lots of five,group of forty, twenty five machine guns, four hundred yards, forty

Entertaining and intriguing -- backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi Jonathan, A fascinating rendering of such a movement and amongst the farms. And then the People's Movement including the women fighters has subplots with Blake running throughout - the Maldina and Brompton scenes certainly show how personal issues are affecting the military work. The writing is taut and and the dialogue goes right to the fighting or the personal issues. Strong scenes! Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

An interesting read. The diolouge is engaging and the charcters intriguing. C W

You have created a most memorable main character in Blake and crafted a very interesting storyline which really is the battle of the sexes. The dialogue is crisp and well written and all of this coupled with your imaginative writing makes your science fiction romance a pleasure to read. Gladly backed.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

You write with impeccable detail and expression in the tension between the ranks. Your narrative voice is excellent.

Davies typifies the confused leader who has been led down a thorny path by those from above; brave but blinded:

Colonel Rogers is the perfect exhibit of the statistic shovelling bastard who leap frogged as much actual confilct as possible:

Maldina has the true bite.

The dialogue is perfect to show the arrogance, ignorance and frustration behind all conflict, military, personal, social etc.

You have the heavy tone necessary to carry such serious threads and the control over your narrative to float it to the surface.

BACKED

Status Q
Backed with pleasure
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Dear Jonathon
your short pitch i was just reading about in a very old book, no coincidences.ha! anyways I would like to commend you on the skill you have applied, the imagination and the talent you have in writing this work of art of yours. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, comment which is important to me, and back my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Sounds interesting!

Tried to read but an error kept occurring. I will keep it on my WL and try again. Cheers

Dear Jonathon, I love your love story & think of the girl that was injured in a jeep in action & became so famous. :) Ah, love :) - great wherever you find it. :) May God bless all of the people who have preserved our freedom. :) Great write with beckoning pitch & nice tight dialogue & paragraphing. :) Write lots of books, please. :) I've backed your book & hope you'll take a moment to back my 2 memoir books. :) Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)