A Place to Stay
Mornings came early at Royal Lodge Farm; Justin sat down at the kitchen table just as the old grandfather clock in the hall chimed out the hour. The low morning sun rose steady into a clear blue sky, with the smooth horizon broken occasionally by narrow seams of white thorn hedgerows that stitched together a patchwork of irregular green fields quilting the countryside.
It was always brighter at this time of year, the frost in the cool autumn air amplifying the light that flooded through the kitchen window. The fresh linen table cloth reflected against the chalk white ceiling and walls, illuminating the room further, caused Justin to squint slightly as he leaned across the table to pour another cup of hot tea.
He still felt tired from the flight the night before, but the brightness of the room and fresh country air was revitalising and had a way of waking you up and giving you new life.
A smile of discernment adorned his face as he stirred the cup with a silver spoon. He couldn’t believe he had fallen into her trap again. He had actually asked to stay here with the one that had once totally screwed up his mind, and for that matter his life, some others weren’t just so lucky. Even he wondered why he had put himself in such a position, but for the moment his options were few. She stood there, looking so breakable and fragile, or so it seemed, yet he wondered was she planning something for him, a game maybe? She was like a cat that plays with the mouse before making the kill. Was he her prey?
The presents of her eyes would captivate any man, they were glistening dark brown, but also like the eyes of a doll they could be lifeless and dull. Her beauty alone had proven many times to be a formidable weapon; she had all the power and knew it.
What dangers laid beneath this beautiful veneer, would later be revealed.
He sat down at the large wooden kitchen table. It was solid oak and well used and like the house it had seen many faces. As he sat there on the wooden carver, his eyes focused on hers as she stood across the room close to the cooking hob. Petite with refinement and more beautiful than an angel, yet more deadly than a viper she was walking his way. It was at that moment he knew, what he hoped to have been a simple chat and a cup of tea with an old friend could become the beginning of his end.
Yet, he allowed himself to be close to her with an almost uncaring ease. Seldom was it that he could be with a woman of such danger as he was today and despite her past betrayal he was still deeply attracted to her. His love for her was still alive, yet love can be a dangerous thing, like a hook it can hold you in pain being reeled into your own death.
He drank the steaming tea as fast as he would a hot whisky, which would have been a better choice of drink from where he stood. As she approached, his instinct told him to get out of the angle-vipers way, but it was way too late for that, she was by now coiled beside him, “ready to strike."
He felt he had to go through with this, it was the only way. He hoped this time around seeing Ruth again wouldn’t end in tragedy, or worse. He still feared, what may await him could turn out to be fatal, but he knew she held the key to his past and the friend he searched for, the friend he had come to find.
A lot of memories came rolling into his mind of her, and with the attractions and happy times came other thoughts, things that irritated him about her. The way she would use that prancing walk and openly display arrogance in her obvious beauty was still there. She looked like an angel and talked like a saint, but he knew the other side and her potential with that unchanging almost patronising laugh, she revived past memories, reopening old wounds at the slightest given chance. He knew she would strike hard and fast. Justin felt confused. For him the reality became clear that he had not let go, he was holding on to what was a love-hate relationship. Yet, there was no relationship, not in her eyes anyway. She was a friend allowing him a room and board, and the only place a relationship could exist was in his head.
He was playing with fire and felt angry with himself as well trying desperately to hold his composer. Seeing her apparent innocence reminded him further of the memories and obvious lure, she possessed for him and of her venomous ways. It was as though she had stayed the same, caught in time, never changing, yet had lived years wrestling with upheaval and the demands of life from the last time he had seen her. Her face was like one of those paintings with eyes that followed you round the room and that symbol that amulet, she wore, seemed to bore into him. She had never told him, where she had got it from or why she had worn it since a child, and he had never asked. Yet, it seemed to be part of her part of the place seemingly harmless.
He knew he had seen it before, a golden pendant on a fine gold chain round her neck. Not bigger than a penny it was a perfect triangle with what looked to be sun rays carved into it, all converging towards the centre of a single diamond resembling what he thought might be an eye. Its engraved markings were by now worn down and barely visible. To Justin it was reminiscent of an Egyptian symbol he had seen in a long past history lesson at school. It had always made him think she and her family must be rich and important belonging to some strange religion. No one wore jewellery except Ruth, a watch at best was considered privileged, but jewellery, no, it was a rule, no child was to wear any, yet, she got away with it, was never asked to take it off.
Anyway, it seemed personal and sentimental to her and did look to be quite old. As she sat there in front of him, it constantly caught his eye, maybe it was the sun causing it to glint, but as they talked, the sparkle of the diamond would blink at him. It was typical of Ruth to wear something that looked to have meaning and worth. Like her it seemed to be a classy item, mysterious, yet beautiful. You knew not to ask her about it. She was very touchy about personal questions which he had learnt a number of times as a kid with a slap from her if he inquired about anything remotely personal or her family, when they played during summer weeks on holiday at her farm. All the same, to Justin she was worth getting a slap for, she always had an ability to appear one step ahead of the rest of the kids in the street, and she had no need to worry for lack of attention from boys. Yet, she would never commit to any kind of childlike loving relationships like other girls. It was as if she lived on a different level than the rest, we could all look, but that was as far as it got, yet, with Justin she seemed to be almost parental, and he was happy to be cuddled at any cost.
Past Love
Even now he felt the same, even now, when he was tall and well built, Ruth was the stronger of the two. A few years younger than him, yet in mind she was a lot older, “as wise as an old witch” was the term in these parts, but then girls always were, older that is, girls always matured in mind and body before boys.
Even though her relationship with him now was one of helpful friendship, it had not always been that way.
He was Justin Mullen, a city boy that had decided after many years to retrace his past and find an old friend. He had grown up with as a boy through the worst years of the troubles in Northern Ireland. Ruth and the farm were an oasis from the hard working class streets of Belfast. The place was a welcome summer break that was indeed a world away from his home in the city and now his journey lead him here once more.
Just like then, he wanted a rest and a sanctuary, he wanted a change in his life, and he was tired of working abroad lonely for home. His decision to come back had not come overnight. It had been in his mind from the very first day he left Ireland to go make what he thought would be his fortune.
“So Jay, what are your plans for the remainder of your stay?” she said looking at his rugged hands lifting the cup.
“Oh, I donno Ruth, maybe I’ll stay around for a while, check out the local real estate!” He sat back in his chair smiling gently back at her. “It’s been a long time since anyone called me Jay, but it’s nice to get those old feelings back. I have spoken to Davy and called to the new office. It’s quite nice, I just hope it allows me to earn enough.”
Ruth appeared slightly uneasy, yet continued with her inquisitive conversation, “You already have an office? You never mentioned that before.”
Justin looked at her with a slightly puzzled expression on his face “I’m sorry Ruth, yes, I set it up with David Long, you know him.”
Ruth glared at him, “Yes, I know him, didn’t know about your office though.”
Justin sensed her agitation, she obviously had no clue that he had set up shop already. For Ruth not knowing this would be annoying to say the least, she, like her parents felt they owned Hillsborough and didn’t like being caught off guard, as it were.
She broke her stare, looking down at her cup.
“You don’t mind do you, I mean, me calling you Jay. I can call you Justin if you prefer, it just seems so not you.”
“Absolutely not at all Ruth, as I say, it’s nice and good to be back, I already feel at home.”
Smiling Ruth stared briefly straight into his eyes as if she was about to say something, yet didn’t. Then she looked at the floor and said, “David Long, I haven’t seen him in a while. Where are you based?”
“At the Maze Industrial Park, Davy got one of those units cheap. It’s nothing special, but he has made a good job of it. There seem to be a need for a bit of sparking work here at the moment, a lot of new houses going up around Lisburn.”
“So you’ve been here already?”
Justin smiled, “Yes of course, a few times to help him set up, day trips, weekends etc.”
“Sparking?” Ruth seemed puzzled, it wasn’t a term she was used to.
“Aye sparkin, an electrician,” Justin paused for a moment, “God, I’m sorry about all this Ruth, I never thought about telling you. It didn’t seem that important.”
She laughed, stirring her tea. “It’s ok, now I get you. Yes, Lisburn will have changed a lot for you I expect, almost part of Belfast now, it has spread out so much with the population growth, so many houses.”
“I know, and the prices, I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll end up living in a tent, the houses are so expensive.”
Ruth placed her hand on his reassuringly, “Auch, you’ll get a wee place further out cheaper. I wouldn’t worry too much about that, there are a lot of old properties that may need some fixing up, but sure, you’re good for that and it seems that you obviously like the country.”
“True, I have my eye on a couple of places, I seen but haven’t actually been to them, just via the internet.”
“So, I take it then that you would fancy a life here in the sticks?”
“Definitely, I have had enough of the city,” he said, leaning forward setting the cup on the saucer, then sitting back in his chair again, crossing his legs casually.
She smiled and turned looking across the kitchen at a small bay window. “Well, I can’t say, I blame you. I mean, it’s got to be one of God’s better places.”
“Aye, that’s the truth.” He leaned forward about to get up, his head moving close to hers. The sent of her designer perfume resonated his thoughts. Setting his cup and saucer on the table he stood up and stretched. “Yep, I definitely will be considering my options darlin.”
Ruth smiled in agreement not moving or even looking up at him. “That’s good, I’ve missed you.” Ruth slowly looked up at Justin as he looked down into her childlike face.
“I’ve missed you too, Ruth, it’s been a long time.” He paused for a brief moment, the silence eventually breaking their stare.
As if dropping out of a trance, Justin walked over to the window, resting his left hand on the wooden sill. The crisp September air feathered his fingers from an open gap at the bottom of the old sash frame. He breathed in deeply and looked across the valley of rolling green fields bordered with a network of whitethorn hedgerows.
Ruth sat at the table with both knees close together, like a student at Bible College. Her head turned looking at him as he stood silhouetted against the bright autumn sun streaming through the window. He was tall and still looked strong and firm. Ten years of physical work had its benefits.