Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow

Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow
Christy Jordan

I like the idea of an anti-heroine - backed on this basis, and also, because I like your cover. Gypsy's addictions are some which I think many should be able to identify with - although, I guess it depends on which part of the world one lives in - where I am there is no rodeo, although people do walk on stilts as part of the cultural "show". THis is a good story - somewhat depressing through pitch content, but the writing more than makes up for the dents in the subject matter pertaining to Gypsy's life story. "Hung up" is a good start. I like the phrase "pickled in whiskey". Here people are pickled in rum. You are a good writer and this whole scene in chapter one is alive and energetic. Gypsy comes across as believable and although her lifestyle is one which is difficult to identify with personally, as your MC in this fictional story, you characterise her expertly. Clever, well-written, dramatic. Her hand was ground burger beneath the skin. Sounds very painful! I look forward to following her story when I can spare some time - need to fetch my daughter from school now - but I enjoyed this very much so far and was happy to back it.

Wonderful writing and a great story. The only problem is I am from the prairies (Alberta) and I am four times World Champion Barrel racer with the WPRA (Okay it was a few decades ago) and no one, but no one goes into the arena hung over, sick, or anything less than 100%, but I'll give you some slack in the name of literary flourish. In fact, I'll go so far to say I'm going to back this. And I'll be back to read more later.

She could be a little more human (not to mention womanly) cause sugar, I been there and know exageration when I read it. Still, I like your style. Lynda

Wow, you've style, grace, pzazz (how do you spell that?) and a certain gritty gravitas; you know your subject sand obviously love your subject. I used to live in Texas but never went to a rodeo: now I feel I have. One of my absolute faves on here. This will kick ass. Luke. The Kingdom Within.

I love the voice in this; the western style comes across so strongly. The dust, voices, smells--all visible even without a constant string of descriptors.

Perhaps this is more a matter of personal preference, but it seems like the 'hard-boiled' attitude is rubbed in a little too hard: there are points where the descriptors don't add to the already spectacular actions.

Powerful pitch and the book delivers the same fast pace well written.
On my shelf.
A Zoomer
Going Out in Style

I read your pitch and I read your comments Then Iread your book. I'm not that educated to say this or that is wrong I have had loads of crit on mine. But I like it. I think you have a powerfull story and you tell it well.. Backed
Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley
Hope you like mine Xx

Fair Critter Review
I like the first chapter a lot. It sets the tone, the voice and the place well. However, perhaps people who would equally enjoy this and appreciate your skill have already been put off by the title and pitch, so haven't got to Chapter 1. I confess the title didn't grab me. I wonder at this, because it is intriguing. Perhaps because it doesn't run off the tongue, perhaps because it doesnt quite sing out the theme of the book, although when I stopped to think, it probably is accurate. next, the pitch. Again, it's strange that this doesn't attract sufficiently. You don't waste words and you show the nature and scope of the novel. It just doesn't have a 'must read' feel to it. Can you perhaps use your last sentence, dramatise it more and put it either as the short pitch or the first sentence of your longer pitch.
The first chapter is certainly something I'd want to back. I may have a further look at other chapters. Rushing off now. Finally, I like the ending of the chapter but perhaps change 'cried'. Stoic that she is, tears probably trickle from her eyes despite herself. Also, better without 'battered'. More subtle to let readers assume this.

Very good writing and lots to admire, particularly 'voice'
Rosalind
Good For Him

:::FAIR CRIT REVIEW:::


This is told well, you have 'show don't tell' down to a fine art, which is rare on here. I feel like I'm at the rodeo with Gypsy in her hungover, distracted, miserbale state. I will read further chapters to see how the story itself develops, but you have a good voice for your narrative; very natural storytelling.

Your pitch lets you down - it wouldn't draw me in to read this book and is littered with clichés. Also beware of using phrases many readers would not understand (Metis trapper?). Reworking it will definitely help. Your grammar and punctuation also needs looking at. I've started noting points (listed below), but they continue throughout.

This has a lot of promise and definitely got me hooked quickly. Backed with pleasure!

Karen
The Kid: A True Story of Cocaine, Corruption, Deceit and Betrayal


Pitch

‘…a half-crazy, guilt-ridden, superstitious Metis trapper and a freewheeling, spinster socialite.’ – punctuation.

No need for commas before ‘and’ – this appears several times

Chap 1

First sentence is an odd analogy – would pickling make skin crawl? Sweat maybe, certainly smell, but crawl didn’t work for me, sorry.

‘…stood in her direct path’ better as ‘…stood directly in her path’

‘Blonde’ – or is this a Brit thing, to add ‘e’ for females?

‘…into her walk’ – one word

‘…kiss it goodbye’ – one word

‘…cap off a water bottle’ – delete ‘of’

‘…and downed it with one quick swig’ – the ‘it’ here relates to the cap ‘downed the contents/liquid’ perhaps?

‘Fuckin’ exes’ - apostrophe

‘It wasn’t just Cody, either’ – comma use

‘Her good-for-nothing father’ - hyphenate

‘focused’ – one ‘s’

‘…rain that had let rip half an hour before’ – delete ‘just’ or keep and delete ‘half and hour’ – one or the other

‘The animal shivered as she placed’ – not all readers will know ‘bronc’ is a horse and delete comma after ‘shivered’

‘…took it as a sign of hope. Her stomach…’ – separate sentences

‘…afraid that if she tried to speak again her voice would fail her.’ – delete ‘, this time’

Karen
The Kid: A True Story of Cocaine, Corruption, Deceit and Betrayal

Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow. A Variant Fair Critters Review on Chapter 1 to 5

A brilliant start! The adrenaline was racing through me before I got to the end of the paragraph. Loved MC's way of getting herself focused: "There was fur to be furred and it was time to cowgirl up."
It's soon clear that this cowgirl looks tough on the surface, but underneath she's scared and finding it difficult to concentrate. I especially liked "Parasitic echoes eating away at her concentration." As a reader, I'm asking myself what those echoes are. I want to find out, because already I care about this sensitive girl who's pretending to be tough.
THe depiction of Gypsy on the bronc was vivid, bringing the scene to life, even though I've never been to a rodeo. And carefully woven into the action, is background information. Gypsy wants to show her ex and her father they were wrong., by succeeding as a rider. She hangs on but takes a bad fall and her hand is trapped in the reins. Someone saves her life, but she doesn't know who. She refuses all help and puts on a brave face. But when she's alone she cries. By the end of Chapter 1, the reader has no doubt at all that Gypsy is desperately angry and desperately unhapppy.
You reveal more in Chapter 2. THe neglected flower beds show how much she's changed from the time she planted the flowerrs. Now they are neglected and the weeds are overgrown. Gypsy has given up. Jacob is shown with his girlfriend, Cherry (who seems false and silly). It is difficult to work out the relationship between Cypsy and Jacob. He is her boss, but she cares for him much more than that. Why does she care about his fling with Cherry? Is it because he is her (fragile) security? Something to cling to in a threatening world? Quite important(I think) is her horse, "Bonney". You'll be impressed with me here, Christy, simple Brit that I am. I suspected the name "Bonney" related to Billy the Kid; I read quite a lot about him when I was in my teens! William Bonney was an outsider, so is this how Gypsy feels?
Chapter 2 or 3. This is a mysterious chapter. We learn a little about what Gypsy might be running from ie "the parasitic echoes." You introduce the red headed cowboy who she sees everywhere. Who is he?
Chapter 3.Gypsy runs away from her confused feelings by taking a horse ride to the river, drinking whisky to soothe her. Her calmer thoughts is interrupted by her agent's phone call, wanting her back in Calgary to work as a stripper. THis shatters her brief peace; her weariness and isolation is revealed through her thoughts on the travelling : "Town after town after town. Week after week. Face after face, lonely with winter." That's a beautiful way of expressing her despair.
She drinks a lot of whisky to make her thought go away, and then decides to recue her phone from other side of river. She's not thinking straight now, and her eyes are blurred. She is "headed for a venture into stupidity." I was feeling cioncerbed here, fearing her anger and drinking will piut her in danger.When Gypsy gets back from rescuing her phone, she blacks out.
Chapter 4 You give a sympathetic description of the old man, Beauregard. He tries to help the unconscious Gypsy, but Jacob is suspicious. There is conflict here from something in the past. Gypsy calls for her father : so what is that about? The relationship between Gypsy and Jacob is close and caring now. This hooks the reader completely. THere are so many untold secrets that are influencing the present.
Chapter %
Now we learn a little more about the red headed cowboy. He feels threatening and Gypsy. "stared at him with mistrust". At the end of Chapter 5, the young Gypsy is left in a very dangerous position. SHe's alone with red headed cowboy, trapped by the hail storm. Is it significant when she cries "I wish I was a better rider. I'd be with him (her father) now." Is that why she needs to be the best rider in her adult life?
Gypsy is a passionate MC, with strength and courage, but also deep problems. You write about her so clearly that I was willing her on, wanting her to exorcise the ghost of the red cowboy and find happiness.
Just a few nitpics, Christy. Nothing serious;
Chapter One, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence:. It may be me, but I didn't find it clear. You write "...smiling as she did" but is she smiling as she is walking round Cody or is it Cody who is smiling at her?
In the paragraph that begins "She swung her left arm up..." calve" should be calf.
.Chapter 3: Ist paragraph, 2nd sentence: It looks like you might have left the sentence unfinished "By a lush, green..." what?.
When Gypsy has just got back from river , I think you've missed "she" from sentence beginning "Stepping up to the meadow.."
2nd to last paragraph, 1st sentence, you've got an extra "the".
Not many and very minor. I enjoyed this and felt Gypsy's anger and despair .A well crafted story. I am backing "Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow."
Cherry (not the same Cherry as in your story, my findgernails are more like Gypsy's!)
The Girl From ithaca

chapter 1 -- calf not calve when the horse bumps her leg
1500lbs -- not at the beginning of a sentence. Fifteen hundred pounds and it adds weight with all the letters.
take some off something else not off of -- both chapters
"See your watering..." See you're watering the weeds (you are)

The writing is quick, sharp and rough-edged and I really like it. Gypsy is tough on the outside with just enough femininity to make her less hard and more vulnerable, which leaves her open for what comes in the story. She's daddy's girl who feels she has something to prove, but she is much more complex than that. Gypsy has a lot of depth and the writing fits her and this story so well.

JMC

What a great character, your Gypsy! Such a treat to be introduced to another world so effortlessly. And yet we feel familiar too, because you do such a good job with Gypsy. I may be old-fashioned but I like stories about real people who seem like someone I may have known at some point, going through regular issues that life throws. Your prose just gallops along; you have a brilliant writing style, with wonderful description and insight. And you're patient, careful not to give us everything at once. Really enjoyed this.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

You know your subject matter extremely well and it shows. A well written story with an intriguing twist. Your use imagery is excellent and the character development is superb, especially that of Gypsy. The dialogue is tight and believeable. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Christy
Gypsy is a great character - you've developed her really well and make her easy to identify with. You enable the reader to empathise with her quickly and want to be part of her journey. She has all the makings of a film heroine and your wonderful storytelling draws the reader to want to carry on to find out more. Best of luck with it.
DP Walker
Five Dares

You take down a new a path and offer us insights we haven't been privy to before. Powerful read
backed

Hi
You have a good story and an amazing talent for lyrical descriptive prose.

Like this.
Backed.

As you have received many feedback from the expert in this site, I won't need to do the same thing over again. What I like about your book is this is a genre I am interested in. Your writing is excellent overall and pitch is great. I will read more, but back your book just to let you know I love to put your in my shelf.
Backed,

BM
Bamboo Promise

Hey Christy,

This has actually been on my shelf for awhile (and I plan to keep it there), but I thought I'd let you know I keep coming back for more and I'm glad you keep uploading new chapters (I've read all 20).

A couple of things you might want to consider: a few of the transitions between flashbacks and the present time in the novel are jarring and I've had to re-read a few paragraphs to get my bearings. Personally, I'd put a scene break between them. Also, it needs a good proofreading. (I used to copyedit professionally and I still take on occasional projects on books I like. I'd be happy to proof this for you just to be able to read the whole thing! I just copyedited a project for another Autho member, Geek Maiella, if you want a reference.)

I hope you keep posting more here, as I'm really enjoying this! Good luck with it!

Cameron

Interesting Read--Backed your book after reading 2 chapters. Nothing like a good rodeo. I would appreciate your support and comments for December Gold. Blessings.

Fantastic. I've been to a lot of rodeos (during my 20 years in Calgary), I've worked behind the scenes with a few cowboys/girls and have nothing but awe for the survivors of that life.
You nailed Gypsy's character beautifully, and immediately. She fascinates me.
Thank Fortuneight for her Cdn forum thread - otherwise I might never have found your book. What a gem this is!
backed
Genevieve
p.s. I can SO see this as a movie.

You have one of the best opening lines on the site. This is a beautifully written book that is lyrical yet accessible. Gypsy is such a forceful presence and a genuine breath of fresh air. Your dialogue is harp and crisp and I cannot help but be impressed with the quality of your prose.
Carl
The Time hunters

This is a world and a type of entertainment/sport I know nothing about, so it all seems very exciting and exotic to me.
The writing is good and the characters leap off the page, so despite having only the most general idea of what is going on ( you stay on a bucking horse as long as possible and hope it doesn't kill you when it finally gets you off?), I am happy to back this.

When an author can have a reader identifying with her MC, when they're nothing at all alike, then it's a good author. Very well done indeed. Minor nitpicks. Ch 1 Calf of her leg, not calve. Ch 2. Technically correct, but sounds wrong. 'The happy couple wasn't tired.' maybe re-word to avoid using couple at all? Ch 3 "See your watering the weeds,' should be you're. 2 tiny errors in 3 chapters, not bad at all. I have backed your book. I think it is very good. Marj.

Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow:

What a character is Gypsy. Love your writing, quick paced, just whisks you along and you don’t want to stop, and you bring the reader right into the scenes. Interested to know the connection Cody and she had before this first scene, so the first chapter makes me want to keep reading.

Her hand was ground burger beneath the skin. (Yipess…) She held it to her body, hung her head and silently cried.

All the best, and already backed.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

I like books with slightly damaged main characters so this story appealed to me. The mark of it is that altho Gypsy has seen better days, she's sitll a very likable character. Setting this against a backdrop of a rodeo was clever. Exposed me to a world I know nothing about so that added to the enjoyment of the read. Well done. Burgio (Grain of Salt)

This was a real eyeopener onto a world I know nothing about. Great tone, great pace and Gypsy is great too! I like the flow of your prose. It reads very easily but I bet you work hard on it to make it so. Not sure I would have picked this out at the book store, it's not my usual genre, but that would have been my loss. Thanks for sharing! Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

Ha, funny thing (just looking at Jared's comment) - the pitch and the cover didn't really grab me and I had a sinking feeling before reading - that this was going to be ghastly. Wrong, wrong, wrong! You write a storm, you really do - Gypsy is a fabulous heroine and, here I do agree with Jared, she does indeed whip it along at a fair old clip. I like the voice here very much indeed and, to be honest, nothing really made me stumble or stopped my read. I just went along, um, for the ride (excuse the pun).
Very very nicely done and very very backed.

Christy, those pitches are wonderfully engaging, I wouldn't change a word, and I rarely say that having a severe pitch fixation!
A distinctly spiky and intriguing heroine, Gypsy takes the book by the scruff of the neck and drags it along at breakneck pace. She is a vibrant force of nature and the action revolves around the decisions she makes. Not always the wisest decisions, but that quirk of character adds so much to the reader's interest. I like this a lot.
I'm always keen to experience areas outside my own sphere and there's so much here to enjoy. You have the perfect 'voice' for a novel of this nature. Backed with pleasure.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

A swell book, sharply contoured, painful as we get bucked off the horse and propelled toward the "bonfire at 'yuhr' place."

Backed.
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Your tags really framed this!

You make Gypsy come alive so quickly in the story, the tensions and torments are so succinctly put over. I very much enjoyed this. Liked how Charlie emerged in all this – Good luck

Very interesting (and believable) heroine set against a truly panoramic story background.
A really refreshing change from my usual reading - thank you for the pleasure. :)

I wouldn't know how to change gear on a horse ansd as a brit, I've only been to two rodeo. This feels exactly like they did. I am so far off my genre its unreal, but I do really like the style you write in and I'm tempted to read more.

Well done, good luck and backed

ET

You have a strong storyline with an even stronger main character. You have good descriptive detail and hook the reader in from the onset. I wish you the best of luck with it. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

Christy,

You write in-the-moment, with fire and grit. You know your material well and there is not one word out of place. This writing is tight, powerful and riveting. It's wonderful how you start the chapter with the protagonist with a tough in-your-face attitude, but the last words of the chapter, "She held it to her body, hung her head and silently cried," shows vulnerability. Here is this woman, battered and broken, trying to keep her head held high in an obvious man's realm. And you portray her story with compassion.

I'm not familiar with the rodeo circuit and I can't find my way around a horse, even though I'm fond of horses, yet, I find myself drawn into this story. Who's this woman? How did she end up broken? What will happen next? I think there is huge market potential for your novel and I wish you the best with it. And I wouldn't be surprised if I pick up a book review publication one of these days and find a glowing review for "Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow."

Patricia

This really reminded me of growing up, going to rodeos (only to watch) and the drinking. I love Gypsy, she is one of the best herioines I've come across and I think she is a great role model. You really capture the reader and draw them in to a world not a whole lot of people know about. I think this would do very well if it were published. I know I would buy it!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Christy, from the beginning, in just a few words, you make Gypsy real. A tour de force of characterisation. Shelved.
Lynn

Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow...

Now that I've read your partial, I'm encouraging you to get back here and prmote this novel. It's very well written and Gypsy is a hoot (and extremely poignant, too...if you can say that a character is poignant.)

Shelved enthusiastically.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

Gypsy Hunting Tomorrow...

Commenting as I go along, starting with your pitches...

Before I get there, I'll comment on the author...is she also an anit-heroine slogging it out in a male dominated genre? Probably.

Keep a hold on your scepticism about my comments on your pitches because I'm severely pitch-challenged.

While I like your short pitch very much because it introduces your MC in a great way, I don't think it tells us enough about your story. Think "elevator with an agent" and you only have one or two sentences to say enough about your book to get that agent to ask you for a partial.

Love your longer pitch, however. Do you want to help me write mine??

Reading on...

I like this, it's vivid and intersting, a sort of coming of age, although for adults. I like the cowgirl up line, that's funny.

Christy,
Rodeo was a big thing where I grew up. So was drinking. You brought me back in a big way! Gypsy is my kind of heroine-- hard talking, hard drinking, sexy and strong. None of your giggly, twittery Bridget Jones girls here. Your writing is tough, fast paced, and exceptionally vivid. Since you told us where the goods were, I read chapter 18 and thought it was excellent-- graphic without being pornographic. I like that she feels powerful.

This is a strong, confident book which is really going to go somewhere! On the shelf.
All the best,
BexMcK (The Devil's Box)

We sure do miss your witty banter, Windy! But we are keeping the House League alive in your absence. =)

At long last I have taken a gander at Gypsy, and I'm so glad that I did. I LOVE your voice, your style, your heroine. Reminds me so very much of my cousin and aunt, both outstanding barrel racers back in the day. What you've dazzled me with is your gift for characterization. I was INSTANTLY taken in by Gypsy from the first sentence. And I know that much of that owes to your firsthand experience in bronc riding but still--experience does not equal writing talent--and you have that in spades, m'dear.

Shelved without qualm.
~Cheri

Hi,
Liked this a lot. Very vivid physical descriptions. The language perfectly complements your tough but also vulnerable heroine. Backed with pleasure.
Lucy

Great opening chapter. Held my attention. Off to read the next.

There are some errors here and there, and normally I'd point them out, but I keep getting too caught up to remember.

Question, how old is Jacob? I'm on chapter 8 and I still don't know.

Okay, very good.
Held my attention.
:) Sarah

Read your first two chapters - having bred horses for about twenty years I loved the description of Bonney! [especially hay burner... I went riding with a wrangler,once and he said he'd entered every competiiton he could and won thousands of dollars but ended spending it all on medical aid - it went with the territory... you give a vivid impression of that world and my sympathy went outto Gypsy. I did find the introduction of namesithout much background a bit confusing and going backwords in time didnt work for me... but I backed it as you know
would you have a look at mine??? so different from yours! Marion

Hi Christy. I noticed you on my thread and love stories having to do with gypsies. Whoa! Your writing style is so intense. The rodeo scene was brief yet thorough presented. Gypsy is dynamic, exploding with emotions and suppressing her desires. I'm hooked. Gypsy's wanting love and to please her parents are univeral themes which will engage all readers. I've felt the way you portray Gypsy, clutching her hand to her chest and sobbing. I hate that, but the cry is great. And then, attracted to her boss who happens to be a pig. You thrust the reader into the emotions she's experiencing. Yeah for immediately introducing the redheaded cowboy hero who saved her life. Shew! I'm much happier she will be happy. Shelved. Good luck. Janet Marie

Hi Christy,

I’ve had this on my watchlist for what seems like forever. It’s your birthday and that bit of news prompted me to get over here and read!

I usually type and review while reading so if you see me ask a question that is answered two sentances later, then please bear with me. It will show you though how one reader makes their way through the book, and show up anything I get stuck on.

I’m not sure why someone’s skin would crawl if it’d been pickled in whiskey. However, as I’ve never been picked in whiskey, I’d not know, but it did make me stop and re-read. I like the descriptions, and can feel the surroundings up until, ‘he looked dead into her eyes’. I know he’s not actually dead, and he’s looking straight into her eyes, but it did make me stop and get a visual of him dead with his eyes open. Her nervousness, but determination does come across well.

Now that I’m reading, ‘her veins ran like they were 100 proof’ I’m wondering if she was drinking before the ride, as I’m thinking of the ‘pickled in whiskey’ comment at the beginning.

Thinking of beer, is she becoming an alcoholic I wonder?

Although I don’t understand the lingo for the different things that are being used ‘latigo’ for example, it doesn’t matter because the story is pulling me along and I can deal with not knowing everything and figure it’s fine not to know some of this stuff and I’ll work it out as I go along. Even though I don’t understand the details, they are still adding to the atmosphere.

‘Her feet landed in the mud’ Ok I’m probably being dumb here, but how can both feet land in the mud if she’s on the horse and it’s going nuts? I can see one foot as she slides to one side, but not two. This really could be because I’m pretty clueless about this sort of stuff though.

Oh, see here I am being clueless. I re-read it. When you said, ‘she went off to the left’ you meant she fell right off. I was thinking she kinda slid left. See, me being dumb.

I read this chapter when you posted it in the forum and I liked it then, still like it now. Reading on.
It felt as though the pov switched to Jacob when Gypsy stormed off to the barn. If it didn’t switch, how could Gyspy see his bewlildered look if she had her back to him? I undersand the rest of the pov is in Gypsy, and she could see his face when she came back out, but I think the positioning makes it seem off.

The rest of chapter two flows well, then we come to the red haired cowboy she’s chasing. So what did he do to her?

The Beatton.

I’m a bit confused. In chapter two, Gypsy rode of on Bonney, and then there was a break and she was chasing the red haired cowboy. That’s ok, I assumed it was later on in the night, that she’d come back on the horse, and then gone off out, the fact she came back and Cherry was there made me stop a bit, because Jacob had brought Cherry home the nigh t before, then I figured well ok, he brought her home a second night too. But then, in this chapter we’re back on Bonney, and the brown paper bag is there that was there when she rode off on him in chapter two.

Maybe if I read on it will become clearer, but these are my thoughts as I’m going through.

More alcohol. What’s she trying to drown out I wonder?

Dancing, bruised thighs? So what else does she do. At first I thought he agent was for the rodeo’s but now I’m thinking something else….

Aha… yes, stripper…

Now we learn about her life as a stripper, it seems such a contrast with the rodeo’s. We’re finding out more about her, which is giving her more depth. Great.

Ok, I was only going to read three chapters, but now she went and hit her head so I have to read more…
I’m in chapter six already… ok I figured out this red haired guy is going to rape her, which is what I thought earlier on but now we’re back in almost present time, and she wants another drink.

So here I am, still reading when I should be grabbing a coffee for my stupid headache, and as we’ve been in Gypsy’s pov when she was thinking about going out, but then fell asleep, we’ve switched to Jacob when he throws the beer cans in the fridge and comes back to find Gypsy snoring. As It’s a one line switch it jars.
Ok, I read to the end of chapter eight and I really like this.

I would buy it, therefore I will shelve it.

Great job,

Lorrii

GYPSY HUNTING TOMORROW (Christy Jordan)
There can't be many women who could with authority talk bare-back bronco riding and army as well, but Christy's been there and she pulls it off well.
Backed.
mch

Interesting first chapter,
I shall watchlist it and come back

Well written by the way, I couldn't find anything to criticise that wouldn't make it worse if you changed it

Cheers

John

Finally Christy, I get to this. You know, after I dropped off Authonomy some months back I dipped in and out, reading things that looked interesting. Of everything I read, this stayed with me the most. I've just re-read the opening chapters again and it's as good as I remember. I wish I'd written this!
It's straight on my shelf
Sheila

Wow, this sounds good. and i love the picture!
on watchlist!
Sarah

Christy,
Quite an adventure you have crafted. It moves quickly and leaves you wondering what is coming next. On my shelf. Sorry no corrections from me. Not my style. You can write. You know what you need to get done before you hit the ED.
See you in print,
Charity