Gwenhyfar

Well, I think something like this is long overdue! How many times have we had to sit through another rehashing of the old classic legend, only to find nothing new or interesting? When it comes to the tale of Arthur and Gwenhyfar, where's the originality anymore? Here it is, a book that brings everything into question. Well executed, well written and well thought-out. Backed.

J. Moore
Vigilante

Recounted in an active and rapid prose, Gwenhyfer puts a kink in Arthurian legend and takes the reader on an odyssey to discover the true nature and value of political power. Brilliant!
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

A 180 twist on the epic story and a stroke of genius, a reinvention with a hook that won't let go. What marketing potential! Think about the fallout should high schools add this retelling to their required reading lists. I couldn't stop reading and count myself very disappointed to find that the entire manuscript is not posted. This is my new fav among my guilty pleasures, the submissions to which I return just for joy.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

You have written a very unique and interesting historical storyline on old England. You have created a memorable character in Gwenhyfar and I really like your use of the first person narrative voice. The dialogue is well written, the pace of the story flows nicely and you capture the spirit of the timeframe superbly. This and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Well, they say behind every great man is a woman---- and your story certainly confirms it for me. A lovely twist to a favourite story I've read and re-read many times (myself I'm often thought Merlin would have been better born a woman) I love the idea of Gwenhyfar pulling the sword free. Well-written, easy to read, and exciting enough to keep me reading more. I've given you stars and it's on my w'l and as soon as I have a space free it will be on my bookcase. Well done. I've just realised I have backed it before, but it's still a great read and I'll happily back it again.

Kate Grimes - LIZZIE -CUPPA TALES -TALES OF WILLOW GREEN

I've read only the first chapter so far and i must say i love it! I'll be reading more later but for now i'm watchlisting this. The idea that the Arthur legend has been wrong... truely wonderful! 6 stars!

Consider revising the first sentence of paragraph 6.

-J.L.McMahon "Order and Chaos"

You are an accomplished storyteller. You don't overburden the opening with backstory, your character is fully established early on. We get a clear sense of a very strong Gwenhyfar alone in a threatening world, yet prepared to defend herself. Great strong heroine. The twist I'm sure willl appeal to readers and agents. Your give a clear picture of the setting through some marevelous description and careful word usage. There are no talking heads trying to impart information to the reader. This is natural dialague that moves the story forward a good pace. It's a well-worn subject but you've made it fresh and appealing. Good luck and I shall put it in my rotation to back it soon. Kristin

lol I really am frazzled. I started reading this before realising I've already read and backed Gwenhyfar before. :)

On this 2nd reading, I'm as impressed as before. I think the idea of her pulling the sword from the stone is a wonderful twist on the Arthurian legends. And it sets the scene for a great deal of conflict yet to come. I see this book as a wonderful reimagining of an area that had become overused and predictable. ;)

Since I read this so long ago, the stars system didn't even exist back then. I'm happily giving you 6 stars right now. I think this is a very clever and professional piece that thoroughly desrves to be published. :)

Best of luck,

Pete

Im a big kid for Arthur stories, I love this very much...

Hello, your pitch enticed me to have a glimpse of your book. Here are my thoughts, which you are free to ignore or take what you like from:

PROLOGUE

Nice, short and sharp- but I don't think it's really necessary. As I started chapter 1 I felt that it might be better to jump straight in to the action.

CHAPTER ONE

Good flow, but some bits to me feel a bit flowery. e.g. 'that had stood clustered by the door, laughing loudly and at the obvious expense of those that worked and visited the market'. You could make it somewhat clearer: 'When I heard boisterous laughter, I knew it belonged to the hostelry patrons who mocked and jeered at the expense of the market visitors. And it seemed I was their newest target.'

'I hesitated only briefly as I spared a glance'- don't think you need the opening bit. Just 'I spared a hesitant glance behind me'.

'Three men, their dress shabbier than typical patrons'- care to describe them otherwise? I feel as a reader I'm not too familiar with the dress of the hostelry patrons, so comparing them as such doesn't feel as strong.

'So fierce did my cheeks burn with embarrassment'- that's all we need, we don't need the protagonist to infer what her cheeks looked like, the reader can do that for her.

'Oh she does have a voice now'- feels a bit stiff as far as dialogue goes. Maybe 'Oh, found her voice now, has she?'

'and it blossomed within me' - feels a tad overwritten. It also gives the impression that the protagonist's realization is a gradual thing. I think it would fit better with 'and it struck me with sudden certainty that I would not live beyond his plans for me.' It's a cold, abrupt feeling, rather than a warm, nice one, which is what blossomed conjures up for me!

'His hold on my arm had loosened slightly'- there's good action here but I feel it would work better if each action had its own sentence. The choppy pace would reflect the quick actions. e.g. '...had loosened slightly. I tore free from his grasp, and punched the man holding my right arm. My knuckles met his throat, and he released me to clutch at his neck. Not wanting to waste my advantage, I bolted from their reach. The basket beckoned to me on the floor, but I could not risk myself. I would have to endure the punishment later.'

'If I had not been so panicked' - okay, I understand the narration is a flashback, so the narrator is able to reflect on hasty decisions, but I feel this takes away from the urgency of the situation. If there is to be a reflection, make it brief: 'Panic swamped my thoughts, and so I did the only thing that came to mind. I curled my fingers around the hilt...'

'And a sound'- you use 'sound' earlier, too, but could you be a bit more precise? A clang? A clunk? A ringing?

So the scene goes on into a big event- but for some reason it didn't have the impact I wanted it to. I think you need to work on building the beginning up. Perhaps give us an indication of why the protagonist is in the market, whether she wants to be there or not, then go along with her run-in with the thugs, her flight and pulling the sword out. Conveying the protagonist's utter despair and hopelessness, then contrasting it to her disbelief at how she pulled out the sword, I think would give it more impact. Just a suggestion, I'm sure you can think of better ways, but this scene should really stand out more than it does.

'his eyes boring into mine'- read this many, many times in published books, it's a bit too cliched for me.

Some good metaphors about the bedroom!

Clever, using the sheen of the sword to give us the protagonist's description!

OVERVIEW
Generally, this is good stuff, but it's very long winded in places. It seems you're at pains to describe every little detail according to what the protagonist notices, which doesn't always fit (for example, if she's running for her life, she'd only pick up things that would aid her survival). It needs to be a little clearer and more focused, so only the salient points are picked up on. Otherwise I'm intrigued to know what mess our main character has gotten herself into!

All the best

Sam241

Nice angle, well handled and written.
I must mention, however, that some details are not realistic - furniture & amenities for example were much more basic during the centuries you deal with. There was no such thing as a 'desk' in any place other than perhaps the scriptorium of a monastery, 'hosetlries' barely existed, and certainly did not have names in the style of more recent Inns. 'Broderick Inn' is a complete anachronism. Baths were not readily available to travellers, and private rooms with beds unlikely. Concepts of privacy and cleanliness were rather different then. As late as the 17th Century the total furniture of a hostelry in Winchester (then an important Royal city) consisted of two stools, one truckle bed, and assorted ewers, pitchers and barrels. Patrons sat on benches, ate and drank from wooden or rough pottery vessels.
I think very few readers would worry about such details however. More importantly you have written the story with a sympathetic main character, an interesting premise and a nice twist on an old and popular tale. Should do well.
My version of a Stampman review.

Interesting points...and you are not the first to make those arguments. However, much of my research has pulled up inconsistencies with that information and I think when i describe some of the furniture, like a "desk" for one, people get this image in their heads of what we use today. In the days of this story, a desk was really just a glorified table but they still called it a desk...perhaps confusing, and I will consider going into more detail in the descriptions to get around the modernized ideas we have of furniture today.

Thanks for taking a look. I really value all opinions that draw my eye to those sections or descriptions (or lack thereof) that can cause confusion.

LL RooK:

Sorry for the delay in a critique. As you may know the pressures are very great when you are in the top 5; that business had to take priority. I like to take my time and give a writer their just review. Now that I'm out of this jungle I can now do that.

Here is what I found as I read your script.

The sentence "He stood before me, the obvious leader of the trio and I glared back at him," is contradictory. (He stood 'before' me suggests that he is standing in front of you. When you say, "I glanced back at him it sounds like you had to turn around) Do you mean you looked at him? If you remove 'back' the sentence would be clear.

Another sentence, "His hold on my arm had loosened slightly and I tore free from his grasp and punced the one holding my right arm in the throat," is wordy. Consider making this sentence a part of the prior paragraph as you are talking about the same person. Also consider breaking up into the two sentences -- it is too long. Also modifiers should be closely linked. Consider:

"His hold on my arm had loosened slightly so I tore free." (Begin the next paragraph with this other tyrant on your right. Consider: "When punched in the throat, the man holding my right arm released me, his hands rising to his neck and his eyes bulging. (This picture tells us that this man was taken aback by the MC's actions)

Another sentence: "I took advantage of those few precious seconds I had stolen and bolted from their reach, abandoning my basket though I knew I would surely be punished for it later. (Wordy)

Consider: "Using those precious seconds, I bolted abandoning my basket." (You don't want to give away too much up front. Let the reader wonder what ill will will befall the MC by leaving behind her basket. Sometimes less is more. You want to keep us reading -- guessing what is about to happen.

The story is gripping. It is one in which we can immediately get into character because even as an adult I tend to stay away from strange groups when walking down the street. I saw a show on Oprah and she too admitted that she does the same thing. Singly these same people may be fine, but when in groups they may be pressured by their peers to do things they might never even consider. So you've already captured the reader's imagination. Just give this baby lots of polish. It will make a far better read.

Ida L. (Silent Storm)

Nice angle, well handled and written.
I must mention, however, that some details are not realistic - furniture & amenities for example were much more basic during the centuries you deal with. There was no such thing as a 'desk' in any place other than perhaps the scriptorium of a monastery, 'hostelries' barely existed, and certainly did not have names in the style of more recent Inns. 'Broderick Inn' is a complete anachronism. Baths were not readily available to travellers, and private rooms with beds unlikely. Concepts of privacy and cleanliness were rather different then. As late as the 17th Century the total furniture of a hostelry in Winchester (then an important Royal city) consisted of two stools, one truckle bed, and assorted ewers, pitchers and barrels. Patrons sat on benches, ate and drank from wooden or rough pottery vessels.
I think very few readers would worry about such details however. More importantly you have written the story with a sympathetic main character, an interesting premise and a nice twist on an old and popular tale. Should do well.
My version of a Stampman review.

Gwenhfar is an historical masterpiece. What exquisite work and fine command and use of the language.

Indeed a pleasure to read


Backed (before)
The Mind Setter

Gwenhyfar - A neatly written book judging by the four chapters I read. The characters stand out well and the atmosphere created by the author is palpable. For a woman, considered little more than a chattel during the period written about, to have pulled the sword from the stone would be hard for men, at that time, to swallow. The author has handled shocked surprise with subtlety. A good read.
Backed.

Child - Atramentus Speaks

You give us a new look at something that has become as comfy as slippers. What a refreshing change from the rehashed versions we have to go through ( I think I have read about five on here in the last year) I could happily have climbed back into bed and read the lot.

Amelia x

A Date in the Diary – I hope you enjoy it

The cat next door looks much like your good self. It tends to terrorise our four who seemed a bit spooked by it. Mostly about territory and food supplies I guess all very much the burning world issues of our time. Thank you for an enjoyable first visit. Really love the cover and pitch.

Richard

I don't know how important this is but the Celtic name for Guenivere is Gwenhwyfar with a 'w' before the 'y'. Anyway - it is a good read.

There are a lot of variations for the spelling of Gwenhyfar and I actually went with the Welsh versions for character names for my work.

I don't know how important this is but the Celtic name for Guenivere is Gwenhwyfar with a 'w' before the 'y'. Anyway - it is a good read.

Brilliant work...... Beyond words. Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

What an exciting twist to the King Arthur legends. So many novels have been written about them, but none with such an imaginatice twist. Very ingenious and very well written. I gladly back your book.
Sandra Davidson - COLD MOON RISING

Stampman Group Review
I liked the short introduction. It created a sense of importance and mystery, making me wonder if we are going to learn of such a child.
Chapter 1 introduces the young serving girl, afraid of the men following her from the market and yet fearing the punishment when she returns home without the basket she drops fleeing from them. So we realise her life is of little worth to her master but also that she is attractive (the men make comment on this).Her thoughts and the way they are phrased are just enough to create a sense of an ancient time, but are still easy to read and understand. This balance is so difficult to achieve (I know by my own attempts!) and apart from a few phrases I thought were a bit awkward (referred to later) I feel you succeeded.
The chase is dramatic. We realise the girl is not quite as subsevient as she appeared at first. She hits one man and kicks out at another. I liked the description (her arms etc) as she runs from them. And then she finds the sword in the stone. Liked the idea of her grabbing sword to protect herself, with no idea of its significance. The reader knows its importance though, and the old man who dashes out to kill the three men knows too.
The girl is shocked by the reaction as she pulls out the sword..,but maybe you could describe this in a bit more detail? It seemed to be glossed over quite quickly, I thought.
Good description of the hut with the dried herbs hung upside down and the bed etc. The girl's reaction to the drink was amusing..nice bit of humour. But there's a mystery here. Why is the old man so wary and cautious and unwilling to tell the girl anything?
You keep us reading because we want to learn more and see how the girl fits into the story of the stone. Who is she? We don't even know her name yet. Is the fact she has never known her parents relevant? Were her mother and father important to the story and she is to fulfill a great destiny?
Cadwgan's reaction is confusing. He's angry at first and then he is scared. The girl is locked in a linen room ..great tension here. What is going to happen to her?
The two noblemen, Bran and Deros, are convincingly sinister as they look her over and talk about her virginity. .And we can tell Cadwgan feels doomed. Why? What power have these men got over him (eg so that has to serve her food and give up his daughter's robe) and why is Gwenhyfar so important in the scheme they are formulating.
The burning of the family and their servants is horrific and reveals the cruelty of the light haired and the dark haired men. Gwenhyfar realises she is trapped because if she tells anyone of the act she is forced to play and the deception the men are planning, she will be risking their lives. It's a deliciously well thought out dilemma for your MC.
Her embarrassment over being bathed is convincing and shows the practicalities of the lady and maid relationship. I enjoyed the details of how her hair was plaited and arranged: it has a nice authentic feel to it. When Bran introduces his family you introducec more danger...Aerona, Bran's eldest daughter, is jealous and scheming. This is going to lead to trouble, isn't it?
I liked the way you developed Gwenhyfar's relationship with Cadi, her maid, and then with the handsome young nobleman who tells her wonderful stories. Their love develops and it is only at a later point we hear his name is Lancelot! On no! There's going to be even more trouble! You've certainly introduced lots to keep our interest.
There is also a mystery about the "king" who is pretending to be her father. What are Bran and his cousin planning? Why do they want Gwenhyfar to be High Queen of Britain...what's in it for them?
THe testing of virginity was something many girls had to endure, including princesses, and so the scene feels even more disturbing because it really did happen. She would be worthless if she was "spoiled" and the children's nurse and most of Bran's household may also have been in danger.
Then the shock at the end of Chapter 6. Bran declares Aerona is to be married to the enormous Brynmor and she has panic in her eyes. The powerlessness of even wealthy women is revealed as Aerona is forced to stand at her father's side and smile.
It's an impressive start which promises much intrigue and conflict. An interesting retake on the Arthur legend.
Just a few nitpicks:
A few phraes felt a bit awkward: eg Chapter 1: "..blossomed within me a surety..." (perhaps this could be made a bit less clumsy?) and Chapter 4: "If I'm permitted some measure of boldnesss to answer?" (maybe rephrase?)
Chapter 1: "What have you done?!" (Exclamation mark not needed.)
Chapter 2: "...and young girls a fanciful dream that her life [ "their lives"?] might one day hold charms her mother's ["their mothers'"?] did not."
Chapter 4: "muss" should be "mess" in the last sentence.
Chapter 5: Aerona's hair is described as "blond" I think it should be "blonde" for a female.
Chapter 6: the king tells Gwenhyfar, "You've already missed the opportunity to behave proper [ly]..."
Hope this helps.
An enjoyable read. Good luck with this. BACKED.
Cherry G.
The Girl From Ithaca

Well thought out, well written and definitely well recieved here! Backed with admiration
Millie C

Stampman Group Review

I like this distinctive take on the Arthurian legends and the opening twist of the removal of the sword from the stone. Gwenhyfer is developing into quite a strong character in her own right and as presented can certainly carry a complete novel on her shoulders.

There are a few minor typos, but nothing a little editing wouldn't cure.

Mostly the langauge and dialogue are comfortably pitched for an historical novel: not too "thee and thou" but no anachronistic "whatevers" either. There was only one phrase that, for me, went too far down the "thee and thou" route and that was a line in chapter 1, "so fierce did my cheeks burn". Other than that I thought it read well and, based on the chapters here, has lots of promise.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Brilliant premise, brilliantly executed. A rich and absorbing historical story executed with style and grace. Well drawn characters. Interesting dialogue that evokes the era. Evocative narrative. Assured writing. Backed.

GWENHYFAR-L.L.Rook
hullo LL. I have read all that you have posted and in these 'authonomy quick read' days, that means alot. I always liked reading about those old classics and yours is right up there beside them. One of your best features is the hook you write into each chapter so that the reader goes right to the next. Very good.Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Stampman Group Review:
This is a book that I had to wrench myself away from, remembering that I have other things to do today.
Well written, few mistakes, totally engaging. I particularly admire the subtle touches that make the style seem appropriate for the times, without putting it in language that would make it hard to understand. eg, 'the time we must depart most surely approached.' By changing the order, you evoke a different time.
I like Gwenhyfar's character, her courage, and I am beginning to think she will easily take to her different circumstances in life, she meets the men's gaze, 'with my chin lifting with a challenge.'
A few odd typos which I'll put in a separate message.
Very well done and backed. Marj.

I thought that the likes of Jack Whyte did the justice to King Arthur stories making them plausible, loving and that with which you could feel apart of their lives. LL Rook has taken the story that is old and retold countless times, made it new and fresh. I would read this over and over, it is vivid, clear and enticing. Thank you.

Rionach Kerrians

SHOAN

I love the idea of Gwen being the heroin not the downfall of the period in history, whether true or make believe. I always felt that the story is that of mystery and one person's perspective and with women being the weak minded fools (or portrayed that way) that there should be more strength added. I back your story with lots of happiness. Thanks.

Rionach Kerrians

LOVE THIS
BACKED
anba
L.O.V.E

Well, I think something like this is long overdue! How many times have we had to sit through another rehashing of the old classic legend, only to find nothing new or interesting? When it comes to the tale of Arthur and Gwenhyfar, where's the originality anymore? Here it is, a book that brings everything into question. Well executed, well written and well thought-out. Backed.

J. Moore
Vigilante

GWENHYFAR
L. L. Rook

Please say there is more to this tale to be read. I finished Chapter 7 and really need to see where you are going with this. Being impatient, I can barely stand to wait until I see it on the shelves at Barnes and Noble.

I like this twist to the familiar legend of King Arthur. If you happen to read my book, A King in Time, you will soon see that I too take liberties with the original. I believe that there truly was an Arthur back in the mists of time. His story must have been based on an actual hero, perhaps a Roman General or a local king who united many of the surrounding kingdoms of that time. Certainly there is much written of his twelve battles and many of his knights escapades. All of it probably with a bit of truth. It is how legends come to us, embellished though they may be, they had to begin somewhere. Just as your story and mine are enhanced by our imaginations, those of the past are no less real. King Arthur lives on every time we, as writers, birth a new tale about him.

Your Gwen is very likeable and I do feel she was misunderstood in many tellings of her relationship with Arthur and Lancelot. I enjoyed reading the seven chapters and hope you will let me know if you post more here.

Backed with admiration.

Mary Enck

Stampman Group Review: I read the first two chapters, and I'm hooked. I'm definitely coming back to read more when I have time. The pace is good--quick enough to keep things moving and interesting, but yet time is taken to explain the movements and reactions of the characters.

This opening for the book does exactly what an opening is supposed to--hook the reader. Clearly Gwenhyfer is destined to become the "leader of this country", but the distance between servant girl who has no parents to leader is for far with so many obstacles in between, that one can't help but be curious about how she gets there.

Assuming the journey lives up to the hype created here, I think this book has promise.

I've sent my more detailed, nitpicking remarks as a message to avoid making this comment too long.

- Scott
("Framed" and "The Nazi Conspiracy")

Pulling the sword from the stone to defend herself against some ruffians, Gwenhyfar unwittingly becomes the centre of attention. A mere maid in sheepskin clothing she is taken from her house, and provided her virtue is intact, seen as a bride for the king.
To remonstrate the fair and honourable land that was the so called legend of King Arthur, seems the blight of the lowly maid who see's much calamity and injustice. Her naivety is like a hen without feathers when her clothes are pulled up like sack cloth so her virtue can be examined.
Great writing lively and comphrehensive, filling a sort of historical void of heavyweighted dullness that creeps into fables about castles and kings because the subject matter is so overused. But ' Gwenhyfar' is fresh original and highly entertaining and for that reason has my backing.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

Please let me know if you post more OR get that elusive Publisher to put it out for all to read. Well done




Odeb GHOSTWOMAN

The romantic era of history was deftly managed. You wrote this carefully and the MC emerges clearly

Backed
Lara
Good for Him

L.L Brilliantly written, A lovely voice to be swept away by. The pace is perfect and you capture the time period beautifully. Your duscriptve writing and imagery make it very easy for the reader to travel this magical, frightful, and special journey. Well done...Backed withou hesitation Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

I never get tired of reading about King Arthur because I've read several tales in that regard on Authonomy. Your tale is lovely, told from a woman's point of view and I'm enjoying the feminine gaze. It seems that in so many legends and historical stories that a woman shows up to save the day.

Pleasure backing this novel.

Patricia
Super-Nature Heroes

Love the opening quote. This novel appears to have a literary feel to it. That can be a hard sell, but this genre is growing. And I think you will find it to have a loyal audience. You have a very romantic style that fits this genre well.

Watch out for weasel words like almost, very, just, seems like, or other unnecessary words that can weaken your writing. And you can deepen your POV by removing phrases that could potentially pull the reader out of the story, like, "I knew" or "I wondered," or "I could tell." Rephrase them in a way that we are experiencing what your hero//heroine is right along with him/her.

Ex: (not taken from yours, but created to demonstrate.) "I knew she was looking for me. I had seen her dart from one shadow to the next, her amber eyes scouring the mob of market-goers."

Change: "Her amber eyes scoured the mob of market-goers, looking for me."

Or however you want to phrase it without using the "I knew" type. Does that make sense? Meaning, if we're in her head, we know whatever conclusion she draws comes from her thought processes. We don't need to be told your heroine thought, knew, or wondered something.

Example two (from your book) "I swallowed heard, dreading the trouble that wold be had for my late return without the goods."

Possible change: "I swallowed hard. I would pay for my late return without the goods."
This second version is also much tighter. Always try to use as few of words as possible. This will not only eliminate unnecessary words, but will also force you to choose those with the greatest impact.

Example: Instead of saying, she walked quietly, you could say, she tiptoed. Whatever.

Another example would be: "I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks."

Using deep POV, this would be changed to, "Heat rose to my cheeks."

But still, a good job with clear conflict and tone and language consistent with the period. (From what I've read.)
Your dialogue is good and flows well without a lot of unnecessary tags. You also do a good job of letting us hear, feel and see the story.

And know, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have bothered with a comment.

I'd like to see more Olde English in dialogue and prose to make this more authentic (of the time.) You've obviously worked hard on this and needed to do much research as you're clearly not from UK.
The plot is good, and I wish you all the best with this.
Alison Butler

Well written and a wonderful premise: King Arthur was really Queen Gwenhyfar, a woman rather than a man. I've never been a fan of first person fiction but you do it well. Backed.

L.L., you have an enchanting, exciting tale and you've written it beautifully. The language is exquisite, with just enoough *olde* English to set it off. And we have in Gwenhyfer a girl with the bearing of a lady, the heart and mind of a warrior queen.

Your introduction is sublime, and Gwenhyfer's flight from the drunken louts is heart-stopping. The old man, I feel, may not be as he seems, and hopefully will survive the plight of Cadwgan... Derog and Bran might meet their match, and not only with that old man.

A fresh take on historical legend that I believe may stand the test of time. Bravo!

Backed for the writing and for the sheer originality of story -
From Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

Great pitch. Ever since reading Mist of Avalon I have been hooked on the what ifs and the Arthurian legends from the female perspective. I like the twist of Gwenhyfar pulling the sword from the stone.

Backed!

Athena
The Raven and the Wolf

This is a wonderful of a classic story, with a twist. I enjoy Arthurian fiction--and there's been plenty of it--and this is as good as much that I've seen published. Little to fault. Good luck with it.

Hello - When I backed your book some days ago I forgot to mention how attention-grabbing the cover is - a great picture of a medieval woman. Good choice.
Please could I ask you to have a look at Midwyf?
Thanks,
Vall

Hi L.L. - I simply love your story. I'm not a critic at all. I don't look for or see mistakes. I love stories when I can just sink into, and melt away, going along with the journey. Nice style, nicely told tale. Happily backed.

sincerely,
jim
jack & charmian london

Ok I always love a good king arthur story. I hate when an original has been messed with but yours is truly fantastic. Thanks for the read. If you wouldn't mind the return favor of looking at Shoan

Great intro. I get a sense of character and wonder who "them" was. It's also short and to the point, so I get a little teaser to make me want to read on. The opening quote I love also <3 <3 <3 people underestimate the value of the young. That is a theme that comes up toward the very end of my novel as well :)

Checked into your first chapter after that. General comments: Off the bat, I think this has a great pace and voice. I love your choice of words--hefted the basket, quickened my pace. you jump right into a worrisome scene with those men following that girl and now out of sight from anyone who might notice and be able to help. Our sympathy for her grows as she is left with no choice but to abandon her market purchases so she can save herself, and we hear her fear over what this will mean for her when she gets to her destination. the man who comes to her rescue is intriguing, and you leave us hanging on, wondering what HE thinks she has done (he seems to know! though she, and therefore the reader, do not! great execution of a close POV!) this is a bit like the sword in the stone, but with a much better premise. It's stronger. I love the female lead, I love her struggles. I love how even the man who helps her has these "ideas" what are true to the time. I'm not a fan of these kinds of novels normally, BUT THIS ONE-- oh yes, I could get into this.

Just be careful with your dialogue punctuation. You seem to opt for a comma when you lead into dialogue, and that isn't needed without a said tag. If you want more info, this link might help: http://www.rebecca-hamilton.com/?p=14

Again, a truly fantastic read. Not many stories on this site grip me, but this makes the list.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

L.L: do apologize for this spam comment but I did BACK your book. Though my book is currently on the Ed's Desk, I can still use your comments on my book before the end of this month. Thanks - cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Hmm, few typos in my last comment, apologies Authonomy won't let me correct them! Anyway, ahem... Best of luck with your excellent book.

I love your writing voice, eloquent and completey appropriate to the story you tell so effortlessly. Intriguing premised and a few paragraphs in I was hooked. Will be back to read more, for now it's going on my shelf!

Scott Foley (Warlords of The Dreaming God)

L.L., a creative, adventuresome spin. Doesn't get any better than Arthur and this take proves to be very worthwhile. Look forward to more soon. Backed. CW (To Save the Sun)

A 180 twist on the epic story and a stroke of genius, a reinvention with a hook that won't let go. What marketing potential! Think about the fallout should high schools add this retelling to their required reading lists. I couldn't stop reading and count myself very disappointed to find that the entire manuscript is not posted. This is my new fav among my guilty pleasures, the submissions to which I return just for joy.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

L.L.: this reminds me a bit of "Mists of Avalon," one of my favorite books as a young guy. I think it's an interesting turn of the tables to put a women in the position of hero where the man gets the credit. A deft way to address matters of feminism and all that accompanies.
Best of luck with your book. Backed.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE