Book Jacket

 

rank 535
word count 12141
date submitted 25.08.2010
date updated 19.11.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Popular Culture,...
classification: universal
incomplete

A Fine Pickle

Liz Hoban

When the Twin Towers collapsed, the world mourned. Madelyn should’ve been in the north tower but she was running late for work that morning.

 

On the morning of September 11, 2001, Madelyn Henry finds herself in a fine pickle when she discovers she’s pregnant, the unfortunate result of a rape during a summer work picnic. The idea of a baby sends her into an emotional tailspin and causes her to miss her 7:30 train to the World Trade Center.

Thoughts of securing an abortion plague her late commute but when she arrives in the city she is immediately distracted. The Financial District is a crime scene; the Twin Towers were attacked by terrorists and have collapsed. As the enormity of what occurred starts to sink in, Madelyn realizes this little pickle growing within her, saved her life.

Nearly a decade passes since that catastrophic summer of 2001. Just when Madelyn has finally reached a sense of peace, she encounters her rapist, who she assumed died on 9/11. This man will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Madelyn would sooner die than give it to him.

When he is found murdered and Madelyn becomes the prime suspect, the safe little world she painstakingly built begins to crumble. She is in for the fight of her life. Again.

 
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tags

abortion, baby, boy, catastrophe, death, father, gun, happy hour, lawyer, love, manhattan, murder, nyc, pickle, rape, sisters, the big apple, twin tow...

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79 comments

 

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Suzalex wrote 531 days ago

Beautifully done. You write with ease and a clear voice. You're very talented.

Thanks for the comments and backing.

Suz

name falied moderation wrote 532 days ago

Dear Liz
loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha! I have to wonder on this site at the
creations that come from peoples heads and of course the immense talent of those like yourself to animate
such colorful characters. I truly wish I had half your talent.

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

GrahamD wrote 31 days ago

Hi Liz

I wish I had your way with words. I thought I could write descriptively, but you make my efforts look like a bus timetable. The first ten chapters really flowed well. It's a pity that eleven and twelve were repeats, I would really have liked to read more. This is going straight on my bookshelf'

Great work

Graham

deegirl247 wrote 31 days ago

Wow... I'm really disappointed that the story ended where it did. I want to read more !! The pitch intrigued me and the way you opened the book was very deft and well done. It hooked me immediately:) I am absolutely backing this book and am on tenterhooks for more !! Loved, loved, loved it :) Thank you for sharing your awesome talent with us...

Chris Carr wrote 93 days ago

A quite superb introduction revealing a great bond in this family. As I know what happens next (from your synopsis), the lighthearted talk about funerals, execution and even the pregnancy become more poignant. I know you are American, possibly a New Yorker, I live in Liverpool England (John Lennonland) and the Twin Towers is a subject close to my heart as my story happens either side of the terrorist attack. I like the way you use kiddo and friggin as they are words used in Liverpool. I however, can not write as beautifully as you. There's something about female writers, something that enables them to observe and carefully record things that matter - people and their relationships. One thing I might point out is the line, 'When she heard Tina honking the car horn...' She didn't actually hear Tina honking the horn, she heard the horn, if you know what I mean. Besides that I thought this was a really good into to what is undoubedly a great story.

Susanne Elias wrote 94 days ago

A well crafted work of literature. It had me hooked from the beginning

Dianna Lanser wrote 110 days ago

Liz,

The first five chapters of Fine Pickle were a treat. You know your characters well and portray them in a very authentic way. You have set the scene expertly for what your pitch promises to deliver. Your writing is clean and purposeful - a sign of real professionalism. I believe your God-given talent will take your books far beyond the screens of Authonomy! Six stars!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Brittanee Zaitsoff wrote 119 days ago

Hi Liz,

This is a beautiful story that provides a feeling of hope rather than despair from that day. The description of the family dynamic in the begining gives a profound perspective that carries into the rest of the chapters. The sisterly banter was honest and hilarious, which any sibling can relate to. The use of a different POV with each chapter was refreshing, just be careful to keep it consistent within that chapter. The POV shifted in some sentences which was a bit distracting.

All the best with this story and I can't wait for you to post more!

Brittanee
- Sinful

Melissa Koehler wrote 144 days ago

i like this a lot. normally i would think a pitch like yours gives too much away, but for you, i think it works. im intrigued to know how she got raped and really, i just want to know the rest of this compelling book.
backed with pleasure,
melissa :)

Its Mine wrote 178 days ago

I found this quite by accident but its a compelling story. I did wonder if 9/11 had been possibly over done but you have managed to make this story about the girls and not the events themselves. well done . All twelve chapters flew by and I wish there were more. V enteraining read this morning

Ian Walkley wrote 180 days ago

Great writing as always. The long pitch is great, but I think your short pitch could make the story more distinctive. At the moment it could be any sort of story. Best wishes, Ian

mostSleptOn wrote 185 days ago

This is exactly why I was convinced you were a professional simply mingling with commoners such as myself. You're definitely a natural Liz. You say so much in the most concise manner as you seamlessly weave in and out of dialogue, it's really an art and a joy to see.

Of course this is after only reading the first chapter. I think I'll be blown away when the plot really begins to culminate and way before the nadir. Both this and the Cheech Room are gems.

I completely related to the remarks about being late to one's own funeral as I've often pondered why someone would be prompt in the event of their own demise.

Pieces of the backstory, information about the characters is all combined into such a smooth read, you definitely write at a high level.

Lots of good things going on here, backed.

Shaun

Jilli wrote 186 days ago

Read all thats posted, want more. A really good read. only mistake that jumped out was end of ch4 think it should read clothes and not closed.

nelsaan wrote 186 days ago

Hi Liz

I read 8 chapters of your book.
For me two things pop out very quickly.
1. It reads more like a screenplay rather than a book.
2. Even though i know its incomplete a good editor will really help this book.

I will keep reading and await the completion of this book.
I hope its as exciting as I hope it is ( no pressure ;-)

Jedye wrote 189 days ago

Liz
Wow! You are an incredibly talented writer. The conversation in Chapter 1 flows so well that it made me feel like I'd known the two sisters and their father for years, not the few minutes that it took me to read it. I've read all 10 chapters and am now frustrated that I can't read more.
The title drew my attention first, as I wondered what the 'pickle' was, then I read your pitch and what resulted was a truly memorable read.
J Dye

Iceman61 wrote 197 days ago

... and one other thing which has been touched upon, the title. I feel it isn't strong enough knowing the content of the story due to your pitch and I'm certain an agent or publisher would feel the same.

But hey, once again, congratulations on some excellent writing. A star in the making.

Iceman61 wrote 197 days ago

Liz. You write so well. Great dialogue between the sisters but maybe a bit too much in the first chapter, in the house, with dad. Maybe a bit of summarizing here and there would definitely quicken the pace.

Someone else commented on the time factor of hearing about the towers collapsing and their taxi journey. If the train arrived at Penn at 9:15 - yes, both towers had been hit by then but as I'm sure you know (I know the precise times as I needed to for my book) the towers didn't fall until 9:59 and 10:28.

I think you would have to have them arriving on a train at around 10:am. That would be easy to back-track in your story and fix the times to tally with this.

I was frustrated when chapter 11 and 12 didn't work, it was just 10 repeated again. God, I wanted to read so much more of this. I felt like a trout with a hook in my mouth and the story was reeling me in, that's how hooked I am with it.

I will check out your other books, too.

Gary Sweeney.

GILLIAN.M.H wrote 197 days ago

Liz, Reading your pitch of PICKLE, made me want to read more. So far, I`ve just scanned some of the early chapters. Looks good so far, but I am unable to comment further, until taken more time. However, I am now backing your book.
Gillian M.H.

Iceman61 wrote 197 days ago

Hello Liz. When I read the first five words of your opening pitch I thought yes, I want to read this book. If you read my pitch you will probably understand why.

I have added it as the final choice on my shelf and I will certainly leave you feedback. Mine should be uploaded and live by Tuesday. I'm over halfway through the upload process.

Good luck with your writing.

Gary Sweeney.

Corey Baden wrote 207 days ago

Liz, your crisp prose and taut storytelling compel me. The fight for life has so many dimensions, and you have captured them in microcosmic and archetypal terms. God bless your on-going efforts,

Corey Baden

Tui wrote 211 days ago

This is such a compelling story. I read the whole lot in one sitting. My cat was delighted because she was sitting on my lap and I did not move. the only suggestions I can make for improving it are just little easy-to-fix niggles you might want to sort out before it hits the publisher's desk. In chapter 7 you have two spelling errors; desert which should be dessert and embarcking which should be embarking (I think).
I loved the way you describe the two sisters sliding down the wall letting their clothes get damaged without any concern - that conveyed a lot.
But one thing I wondered was would Tina jog in chapter 10 while wearing 3 inch heels?
This is a fantastic premise for story. I'd like to read more of it.

Carla_Anne wrote 230 days ago

Lovely writing and beautiful phrases.. referring to baby as pickle is brilliant. A harrowing read but truly it shows great promise. I enjoyed the first chapter Liz, and very sentimental for a sentimental reader like me! :) Thank you.
Carla
The Journal

folaketaylor wrote 272 days ago

Chapter one
I love your writing style and you sucked me in from the 1st line to the last. Not one word out of place. As smooth as can be.

Chapter two
Nicely done.

Chapter three
Not sure if people were still doing the discman or if the ipod had happened in 2001 so just make sure....
Nice introduction of what happend "that night."

It definitely promises to be a good read. I will come back when I can. All the best.

Stella-Grace Taylor
ANONYMOUS GIFT GIVER.

PS: Thanks for backing my book. I'll definitely be backing this one and will try to get to the other two as well. :)

pilot/writer wrote 273 days ago

This is such a great idea for a novel. We always hear about the ones who perished in 9/11 and rightfully so, however the ripple effect has gone on for years from that tragedy for the people who almost died and you have captured it with grace and respect here in A Fine Pickle.

HS
Priority Gal

Laura Bailey wrote 274 days ago

Your use of language is effortless yet complex and you subtly drop in details of your characters so that the reader learns about them without realising they're being told. I think that's a difficult thing to do so well done. I have only read the beginning but that's enough for me to back it. I'll be back to read more.

Good luck!
Laura Bailey
Beneath The Blossom Tree

Juliusb wrote 311 days ago

Dear Liz, I have perused through your book, "A Fine Pickle",and I found emotionally touching. Good piece.

LuvingSolitude wrote 323 days ago

Excellent, you have a real flair for writing.
Your characters are made three dimensional with such ease, something a lot of people (me included), cannot do, even with a lot of trial and error.
Your conversations are believable, and express the panic and fear, as well as the help and even guilt, that in such a situation, two survivors would undoubtably feel. The choice that Maddy is struggling to make is only enhanced by the events that take place in the towers, to make a decision like that is difficult enough, but to have something so horrific happen, you truly feel compassion for such a character as this.
This is an incredible insight into human emotions, thoughts and how people may react in situations where it feels as if the world is crumbling around them...or in this case, when it actually is.

I eagerly await more chapters.
Bron
The Endless Awakening

writingbear wrote 324 days ago

Liz,
Thank you for backing DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS! I thought I would take your A FINE PICKLE for a ride on my shelf. I looked your synopsis over and it sounded intriguing, so I thought I should put it on my shelf. I'll be reading it as time permits. Thanks again for your backing. Good luck and happy writing.

Dwain-Thomas

MY GENTLEMAN FRIEND
DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS

M. A. McRae. wrote 326 days ago

Immediately engaging and impeccably written. To be backed, Marj.

traciella wrote 331 days ago

great last line of chapter one :) wow!!!

silvachilla wrote 350 days ago

Btw I can't see any chapters beyond the first...Hopefully just a glitch?

silvachilla wrote 350 days ago

Wow...this is brilliant. Even if you didn't know about 9/11 you'd know it was setting up for something big! Love the relationship with her dad and also Tina, very believable, I can already tell there'll be tears and only at the end of the first chapter. Definitely backs and starred, can't wait to read more. Will add to my bookshelf when I'm next on my PC as can't do it via iPhone :-(

Natalie

Kaimaparamban wrote 355 days ago

Write a novel on the basis of contemporary event is indeed an endeavor. In your novel you are mainly projecting the problems of a lady and how she led her own life after tragedies. Milestones appearing in this novel are often extending its hands to political developments. Perhaps somebody may feel it is a complex of private life and public life in America. But, a subtle examination gives us a light of new revelations regarding life of America.


Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Seagulls
The Wildfire

silvachilla wrote 362 days ago

This sounds fantastic, have added to my watchlist

Erich Penhoff wrote 366 days ago

Great writing, especially the individual personification of the individuals. It shows the every day montone and sometimes the everyday ridiculous of life. It is great read and more so when we think of the memories attached to it. Humans have an incredible capacity for suffering and it is suffering you portrait from the annoyences of siblings to greater of a nation. I will watch for it somewhere in print and I will recommend it to any and all. I am not a very soft hearted person, but this story made me mellow, well for a few minutes anyway. Good luck...continue

Lara wrote 409 days ago

This is a great subject. I know someone who worked in world trade centre who's just gone out with a mate a few blocks down for coffee. You build up Maddy's background well before the disaster but I was quite surprised it took to Ch 9 to really get there. I wasn't totally convinced by the sisters' immediate reactions, the dialogue seemed to considered for panic. Otherwise, a good read. I came to it because I have your other on my shelf. Hope you'll look at mine and find it worthy of stars at least. Lara
GOOD FOR HIM

Kayla Shaw wrote 413 days ago

Dear Liz,
Thank you so much for commenting and backing The Slumber of Brynhild. I found this opening chapter very honest and endearing. I think you capture a family dynamic that catches the reader's interest from the very start, making them want to read on. I love your voice-It's very modern and well-crafted. Backed and I will read on soon!

"Stolen Childhood" wrote 420 days ago

Your book seems interesting. Good luck and God bless
I am backin it
Laila bevan
Stolen childhood

CarlosRedivivus wrote 434 days ago

I liked this. The characters are shaping well, plausible and well crafted--as is the plot line. I was a little disconcerted by the age difference between father and daughters--he apparently in his eighties, they in their thirties--especially given that he could 'bench press' the two girls even as adults--but certainly it is not impossible. But all that is trivial next to the major plot line which really grabs the reader and makes us want to carry on through to the end of the story. Unhappily, I couldn't load anything past chapter ten. I don't know if that is an Authonomy problem or some sort of glitch in the way it was loaded. Anyway, carry on, and good luck. I've got your back.

Rose Mary Moyse wrote 455 days ago

Thrilling and chilling.What a combination. More please.

stevew wrote 464 days ago

Very well written - You have a natural talent that shines through in your prose.

Wishing you every success - BACKED!

stevew
The Ultimate/The Authors Cut

shayzzee wrote 465 days ago

Loved your pitch and thought this was a great idea for a story, so thought I'd stop by for a read :)

Starts out good but I did think the dialogue went on a bit too long when they were talking to their Dad before work...but the next few chapters flew by nicely. Loved the emotional turmoil/mixed feelings about her pregnancy at the end of Chapter 3. Made it seem so real. Also loved the bit on pro choice.

The only thing I really saw that I might suggest to work on....It might be nice to have some sense that something is wrong before the cabbie answers the receiver... for a smoother transition. And after, maybe have the girls say "What? The twin towers collapsed? Huh?" or something...their reactions don't seem shocked enough....maybe describe what they SAW on the televisions in great detail instead of the ending sentence on that chapter...it just seemed a bit rushed to me. And this was an EPIC moment. It should really be exciting, terrifying...etc.

Anyway...hope that helps. Loved the rest. Grammar good :) Great relationship building between the sisters and dad. :) The narrative stays in the characters heads. :) Fast flow. :) Good luck with this one! Keep writing!
C

jo danilo wrote 468 days ago

This book has great potential and I really enjoyed what I read. I couldn't seem to load chapter 11 or 12 though - maybe a glitch with the authonomy changes this morning.

I do feel there are some timing points that need addressing though. The first is the dialogue between father and sisters. If they were going to be an hour late for work I don't think they'd be quite so chatty. I think that a lot of the info in the conversation can be included later. Also, and correct me if I'm wrong because I was a whole continent away at the time, weren't the twin towers hit by planes about an hour before they fell? I would have expected the whole city to be buzzing with that news, including the taxi driver.

Aside from these things, I would have like to read more mainly because of your book description. It sounds like a great premise - the rapist surviving the twin towers and reappearing when she thought he was dead. Chilling. I also loved your writing style and there were some quite brilliant lines. I particularly liked the father's job being to empty his brain into his daughters before he died.

Because I want to read more, I'm going to back it.

whostercogburn wrote 469 days ago

Hi Liz - just read the first chapter, and an excellent read it is too! Very flowing and nice finish to chapter. It's a huge undertaking using 9/11 as a subject for a book, but I'm sure you'll do it justice, and I don't think you'd have any problems with people thinking it could be 'disrespectful' in any way. You're one of the people who saw what happened first hand, and you're as qualified as anyone to write a story around it. Best of luck, Pete.

Rachaelet wrote 471 days ago

Hi, I looove your story. It's just beautifully written and brilliant. Good luck...backed :)

healthpolicymaven wrote 472 days ago

Hi there Liz,
You have so many wonderful characters in here. This could be a story on Dennis Leary's show. I love the "real bush line" and many others. What you have done here is take a historical event and wind the human story through it which is always the most interesting. I also love the way you have integrated important topics in today's political landscape. You are a very talented writer and I am backing this with pleasure.
Roberta

Eunice Attwood wrote 476 days ago

This is written with such passion, and held me captivated. I am sure I have backed you before, but can't see it, so will back it now. Well done. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

livloo wrote 483 days ago

Liz

I have only read chapter one and I am hooked, your writing flows beautifully and the dialogue works so well.
Backed with pleasure.

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

cassdsassyangel wrote 483 days ago

i've always loved 9-11 stories and this s fantastic! two thumbs up! backed!

Writenow wrote 488 days ago

This story has real promise, but it is moving very slowly. The dialogue is very wordy, especially the exchange between maddy and her father. Would the father really use words like micromanage? Dont' be afraid to trim this to make it a bit faster paced and more engaging. Good description of what Maddy is thinking. Look forward to reading some more
WriteNow

Courtney Cascadian wrote 493 days ago

Great plot line. Will back you in advance due to time constraints. I am usually pretty good with separating quality from the muck. It's like being a DJ except in the literary field-they say a good DJ knows a hit within the first 3 seconds when sifting through material. Sure to read asap and get back to you with more detailed observations.

chuckgnx wrote 500 days ago

Liz, Well done, certainly an absorbing woman's book; what with endless chatter and reflections on preggars, plus several Brit expressions such as Pickle, Knickers, Gruel, Stuffed, etc. not exactly NJ. Can't wait to see it on Bookstore shelves.

Chuck -- Marshall Warren -- "Sunrise, Sunset," my novel, also based on a true story, is about the Sunshine State; Power, Politics, Sex, Mother Earth, and Money; in Florida. Complete: 42 chapters shown here.

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