Guardian Angels

You got spaz in line 3. That's worth a shelf any day.

Hi Jason,

Very different kind of prose here which is quite livening. Although it's YA, I don't see why everybody shouldn't enjoy it. Needs a bit of editing though. I'll follow it as it goes and have two in the family who would be interested to read it as well.
I believe it deserves to climb up the ranks and for my part I have showered stars over it and placed it on my shelf.
all the best

Jay Adiyarath

On the surface this appears a light and entertaining story, but by the 5th chapter, it is getting sinister. Only 10,000 words - not enough to know which way the story will turn.
Very well written, I noticed just a single and very minor typo. (Ch 3, 'I'm goig to bed' should be 'going'.)
To be backed, Marj.

This is tremendous fun. I've finished chapter two and I'd very much like to read more. I'm so impatient with on-line reading so hurry up and get this one finished and out. The only thing you might want to look out for is nailing Dylan's colours to the emo mast. You need to let your readers identify with him and I know kids who'd be turned off by identifying with and emo! He can be insecure, rebellious, victimised and misunderstood simply by being an ordinary teenager! One nit-pick: You say "fascile". I don't think there is such a word. I think you mean "facetious".
Hope you're still working on this. I'll back it as soon as I have space.
Best wishes
Russell

Quirky, different and lots of fun. This is a cracking read and one that deserves to make it.
Want to see where this one goes, please post more!
Excellent stuff.
Backed.

Simon,
Yuko Zen is Somewhere Else.

very amusing. I thought your pitch was a bit OTT to be honest, but it sounded so bizarre I kind of knew this would be a little different. And I think you've backed it up with some great observations, some excellent one-liners. Refreshingly different.

This is good. The story starts immediately, and then it gallops away. The characters come instantly to life. It was just a joy to read.

Dear Jason,
i have read your work and i am very impressed. The story flows like magic and more importantly connects with the reader. The story theme is an attractive one that would engage many. Surely, this has a big voice.

The narration is excellent.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Hope you will consider mine

best

Excellent opener, great plot twists, authentic dialogue perfectly captured, loads of laughs, what more can one ask for? Furthermore one has a real interest in finding out what happens. Backed with pleasure Jaye

Wow !!! Jason, what a synopsis...... You're writing is amazing, powerful pros and genuinely good work..... Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

love it,Dylan is great, the way he deals with his dad, its fun to read, love the things Dylan says to his dad but he has respect as well, you had made him a great character, backed with pleasure

alison

This is a very enjoyable read. I only intended reading the first chapter, but I've just finished chapter three. Dylan is a good main character, but the real star of the show is his dad. Anyone who has a picture of a blond Aryan Jesus on his wall and who fights crime wearing a gimp mask is okay by me.

This was my very favorite pitch, so I was really excited to get to see this one... even thinking of a few people who might like it on premise alone. And it is super cute! And fast-paced and really fun. But with a character like Dylan, his angst comes through loud and strong without the beginning paragraphs comparing him as a cliche and angsty meyer's heroine (lol! though I agree, Bella--never was a whinier character ever created before! lol!).

While cute and fun, the narration actually detracts from how awesome this kid is. I'd say chalk it up to you finding his voice and laughing at his view of himself (more of a behind the scenes look) and chop it. Jump right into where he's dropped off at his house. While in the house, then discuss mom leaving because she got remarried again, blah,blah... and perhaps while dad is dressed like the guardian angel and saving him, then have the kid remark about him beating up the guy in the wheelchair. Maybe dad asking about nail polish or something while they're eating dinner. I don't know... but jump right to the action and leave the snarkiness to come out in little surprise spurts as we get to know Dylan more, it'll just add to his character more and create better tension and intrigue as we go along, trying to get a clear picture of this kid. Let us paint him, not the other way around. Does that make sense? lol!

I hope this helps and you don't shoot me! It really is a lot fun!
Let me know if you have any questions
Jenni

Young readers will so like this. Dylan is the perfect MC. It's a great story. I hope you continue writing for young adult.

Brilliant. Loving the voice of the protagonist. Backed.

Karina
Volcano

What a wild and whacky dad! Your YAs will love this. Fast paced, cracking read with machete wielding father. Like the pace and the tone of the writing and your MC. I've only read three chapters but enjoyed every minute. made me laugh, pulled a few strings, kept me turning the 'page.' Been on my watchlist too long while I try to catch up - I keep getting caught up in reading. I don't have major crits or points to make here - I may have when I have read further, but I'm backing it while I carry on.
Polly
STONES.

Dear Jason,
Great work, I burst out laughing when you asked for the nail polish & mascara, lots of wisdom when you talk about prefference of music over small talk, early bird get's a worm and when you so intelligently show human emotions when Emma shows her cheek for a kiss to Dylan's Dad and he just shakes her hand though it was utter confusion but the reader can understand this emotion, even a suspense as in the tears were in leaving Dylan with his Dad or not receiving a kiss from her X husband.You make it very interesting when Dylan realises that his father is the Guardian Angel and keep the reader hooked to the next Chapter.Your writing is Gorgeous is all I can say:)- Naveen.

GUARDIAN ANGELS-Jason Quinn
hullo Jason. The ultimate fantasy, a dad who is an undercover superhero. Good story and flow. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

This is good writing but for me the voice does not ring true. He sounds too sophisticated / adult for a fifteen year-old. But the pace is there, the dialog is quick and the premise will find its followers. BFP FOUR BETTER FOUR WORSE

This is good writing but for me the voice does not ring true. He sounds too sophisticated / adult for a fifteen year-old. But the pace is there, the dialog is quick and the premise will find its followers. BFP FOUR BETTER FOUR WORSE

This is a wonderfully lively piece of work. Something tells me when an author is heads into the craft when I start seeing specifics and not the usual mumbo-jumbo. I'm totally bought in to the character's situation. At one point I felt I knew a little too much up front, primarily when the dialogue started and the book literally took off. Still, if one is to dump backstory on the first page, this is the way to do it. Keep it hopping and fresh and weird. Loved the work and backed it with no sweat. Take a look at mine, should you have a moment.

This is a wonderfully lively piece of work. Something tells me when an author is heads into the craft when I start seeing specifics and not the usual mumbo-jumbo. I'm totally bought in to the character's situation. At one point I felt I knew a little too much up front, primarily when the dialogue started and the book literally took off. Still, if one is to dump backstory on the first page, this is the way to do it. Keep it hopping and fresh and weird. Loved the work and backed it with no sweat.

Backed Guardian Angles. The teens will love this! You have connected with them brilliantly in your opening chapter. We are happy to back this. Best Wishes!
CC Brown
Dark Side

I like the wit, it`s a good story so far. Backed

Sarah Louise

Great beginning. Nice sense of humor, good descriptions and characters. Enjoyed the first chapter. Backed.

Entertaining and fun. Dylan is a nice character and the reader empathises straight away with him. An interesting premise that has lots of wit and is quite compelling.

Backed,

Lisa

There's lots to enjoy in this story. A sparky lad is Dylan and I can see much befalling him and his hapless father in exploits still to come.
An original if quirky story line is enhanced by snippets of sparkling wit, believable dialogue and an up-to the minute feel.
This must surely appeal to its target readers, I'm way off that but I enjoyed it. Happy to shelve. Margaret.

Loved your pitch, Jason! Will read more and comment :)

Guardian Angels
Loved this. I had every sympathy for Dylan and wondered if social services should be called in! Wish I had time to read it all. Backed.
Kristen Stone
Kianda Mala - The Monkey Man
Shattered Dreams

Guardian angles
The opening is good and Dylan is a strong character
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Entertaining, with a broad wit, this rips along from disgruntlement to Dis. The dialogue feels natural and the anomie of a displaced teenager is captured well in the acerbic thoughts of Dylan. The plot seems to be heading off in a direction that will present him with dilemmas aplenty, with his father being the sort of person that will only help - help to make things worse, that is. Dylan works well for me, despite my having no affinity whatsoever with Emos, but I do think that it might limit your readership a little iof you identify him as such. Probably not that much, as all the other kids are playing computer games, htting each other, or hitting on each other, rather than reading... Thank you. KA.

'How cool is that eh?'...seems a bit incongruous
Well written with your characters defining themselves quickly in subtle ways...excellent dialogue helps to convey the conflict at the heart of the 'family'
Cheers
Stewart

I found the first chapter engaging. Dylan has a strong voice - witty, sarcastic and definitely teenaged. I've enjoyed what I've read so far and have your book on my watchlist. Good luck.

Jason, I enjoyed reading the first chapter. I like Dylan’s “voice” and I think you have a good plot going. The only thing I have to offer, if I may, is this: For a dad and kid to have not seen each other for four years, I thought there first meeting should have a little more impact—be more emotional. It seems as if you are rushing through it to get to him discovering his Dad is the guardian. If that’s the case, then skip all that and go right to where his bed blows up and then fill in a little backstory. IMHO

My shelf is full at the moment and I want to leave it as is for a while. When I get a free spot, I'll put you on my shelf. I just wanted to post this comment while it was fresh in my mind. Hope that's okay.

This shall stay on my shelf until you demand I remove it.

Dear Jason,
You've got right into the mind and heart of a teenager, which isn't an easy thing! i like your dialog and first person narrative. It's the right combination for this book. I hadn't heard of Emo until about a year ago, so I'm glad I did before reading your text. This book has all the right elements for a successful young adult novel..

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

I'm really enjoying this. It's written so well you can almost hear Dylan Towers' dry wit in every sentence. If I were to offer a general nit, it would have to be hands down your obvious love affair with commas. You put them everywhere! Even in places they have no business being. One can overlook that, of course, because the writing's so strong, the story so engaging, and the MC so damn addictive. That is, of course, if one isn't an agent or publisher.

This is what you do: take Comma out to dinner. You know, somewhere nice with tablecloths and candles. Maybe a bottle of wine. Reminisce, laugh about the old days -- remember when I slipped you behind "kid" in "fifteen-year old kid with greasy hair"? ah, those were the days --, just enjoy each other's company. And then after you pay the check, tell Comma it's over. You'll still see Comma from time to time when appropriate. But only then. But you'll always love Comma. Secretly. It just has to end ... for everyone's sake.

Don't worry. Comma has been through this so many times with so many others. (I admit, blushing) Comma will understand. :^)

Great work.

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

This is downright friggin' hilarious! The wit, the sarcasm, the cleverness...I found myself thinking, "I hope Mr. Quinn meant for this to be funny," because it feels authentic. It feels as though Dylan is real, telling his farce as he sees it in utmost sincerity. The characters are huge, foolish caricatures of themselves; what makes this work so well, though, is that they're so serious about how they feel and what they want. No slapstick shit here, just plain genuine talent. This was a lot of fun to read. Backed infinitum.

J. Moore
Vigilante

Like this a lot, and straight onto my shelf.

What an original concept.- great hook at the end of Chapter One and kids will want to know what happens next. Even I did, and I'm no kid. Smooth, confident writing, great characterisation and nice, quirky descriptive bits. Cheers! -Liz (Meggie Blackthorn)

“After four years down south, I had been hoping for fish and chips from the local chippy...” Eh? I can reliably inform you that there are chip shops aplenty south of Yorkshire, Jason. Dylan seems to talk about himself as a disapproving adult would (“I’m a real-life walking, talking cliché”) rather than as a self-styled emo kid would. Teenagers think they invented/discovered everything they’re into, it’s only in hindsight that all the clichés become clear, so I would maybe suggest either toning down the unlikely insights or, if you’re wedded to them, reworking the novel in the third-person. Also, emo isn’t an acronym or initialism, it’s a contraction of ‘emotional’, so it needn’t be capped. That said, it’s a strong concept and has the potential to do very well.

Jason -

Guardian Angels - a father living out his teens is embarassing, but goodness, what a tour de force. Dylan's voice resonates to the pitch of the general attitude a 15 year old (actual or at heart) would not be embarrassed to identify with. And having a cracked up Robin Hood as a father has a certain edge that is full of creative possibilities as well as hugely entertaining.

Backed recently, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

You've given us a breathless, wacky story with edgy characters and vivid settings. Smooth dialogue. Confident narrative. Hilarious wit. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

Excellent stuff Jason - you capture a teenager's turn of phrase very well. His "spazzy" stepdad; that was a tea-spitter moment! The mockery of all parental figures and the belief that they're hopelessly naff, topped off by his father being a crazed vicar. Superb stuff. A treatment of mental illness, in among the laughs and demon hunting?

All the best

Pat

I loved this- the humour is right up my street. Dad - dressed in his Guardian Angel get up - Dyland trying to make sense of his life and the feeling that something very nasty is about to happen are all beautifful described. The written is tight, too the point and not littered with superfluity. Well done. Backed K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

This is a really entertaining read! I still haven't decided, after three chapters, if the Dad is brilliant or crazy like Dylan thinks. And I love being inside Dylan's head, it's hilarious! Being swept out of the house in the middle of the night by a man in a Ku Klux Klan outfit, he keeps a great sense of humor about the situation. You dialogue is so realistic. I was impressed by the polished feel of this, nothing really stood out to me in the way of something to nit. Wonderful book, entertaining, funny, interesting, and moving along at a great pace.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

01 September 2010
There are movie stars who have charisma and play themselves in every role. There are actors who surprise and delight with their portrayal of a character, by transforming learned lines into a believable and credible being. The author of Guardian Angels possesses an enviable variation of this art whereby he is able to convince his readers of his teenage persona purely with his selection of words and the structure of the passages. Wickedly, but smoothly, created perspectives and sharply humorous prose-- a punchy ex-vicar! Delightful. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Polished. well written, clever, witty, and fun MC; it has it all. Well done! Backing.

Camille
Curse of the Golden Fly

Well captured dialogue and characters, a wit that is razor sharp,mischievous and original.
Jane

Good work Jason, hope to see you all the way to the top. You have written a good story and even made it better by the way you've narrated it. The dialogue between father and son is awesome. It also got me involved in the story. Every one I think would love to have a guardian angel.
regards to you and good luck to your book. It is BACKED by me with pleasure, hope you spare time for my book 'THE OUTRAGE' and maybe return the favour if you wish.
Pamela wootton.

The reader is able to get inside the brain of a teenage boy with this story. His thoughts are well shown. Maybe you could cut out some of the early part of the chapter and get down to the action and sinister bit at the end of Chapter 1. There's plenty of conflict to keep the reader involved and the reader can see how reluctant the boy is to stay with his father.

A nit: The wooden gate was rotten...the garden was a mass of weeds. I was in hell. Now I'll accept the use of was in thoughts, but when it comes to descriptions, the offensive word puts me right off. There are so many other ways to say this.( eg: My gaze slid over the rotten wood on the gate to the mass of weeds beyond.) There are plenty more later. I suggest going through and clearing them up. Your story sounds promising.