Book Jacket

 

rank 981
word count 10289
date submitted 30.08.2010
date updated 01.09.2010
genres: Horror, Young Adult, Comedy, Crime
classification: universal
incomplete

Guardian Angels

Jason Quinn

Most fifteen year olds find their parents embarrassing, but Dylan Towers' dad is way beyond embarrassing. He's a demon hunter who thinks he's an angel!

 

Dylan Towers thinks his life sucks. His Mum has just married his physics teacher and he's been packed off to Yorkshire to stay with his nut job father. After the house is burned down around his ears, he discovers his father's secret. He is really the masked vigilante known as the Guardian Angel.

The trouble is, the Guardian Angel doesn't think he's hunting crooks, he believes he is fighting demons. Before he knows it, Dylan is dragged into his father's one man crusade and finds himself up against the sinister society of Ragaknacky and the fiendishly evil Captain Murderer.

 
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tags

angels, crime, crusade, demons, funny, murder, superhero, teen angst, young adult

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MY LIFE STINKS

My name is Dylan Towers and I'm a real life walking, talking, cliche. I'm a fifteen year-old kid, with greasy skin, spots and dull lifeless hair that will probably fall out before I'm thirty. My parents are divorced, my Mum's remarried a total spaz and I've been shipped off to stay with my nut-job Dad in Roundhay, Yorkshire. I'm a fully paid up member of the EMO club, someone hand me some black nail polish and mascara, please.

   I haven't seen Dad since Mum walked out on him four years ago. He was a clergyman. Church of England, vicar of Saint Sepulchre's in Roundhay. He was sacked when allegations arose that he had beaten up the church organist, a handicapped guy in a wheelchair. Dad never denied it. He lost his job and was lucky not to go to jail. That was when Mum ran off, taking me with her. Dad never tried to get me back. I was relieved. Who wants to live with someone who beats up people in wheelchairs? Even Mum's new spazzy husband, Don, is a better role model. He's a physics teacher in Slough.

   I don't like Don. I liked him even less when he told me I wasn't invited on the honeymoon to America. That trip might have been enough to make me like him, but he had to blow it and persuade Mum to let Dad have me back for the month they were away.

   I wasn't happy about going to Dad. Even before he went nuts, he was a pain in the crack, he never let me sing at the table, telling me it was an affront to 'him upstairs'. He wouldn't let me read Harry Potter or watch the Simpsons or Hollyoaks. He didn't like my choice of music, and once, when I bought home a CD by Arcade Fire, he brought it back to the shop and exchanged it for Bach's Brandenburg Concertos, which aren't bad, I confess, but that's hardly the point. When the other kids in your class are chilling out to Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, or Bright Eyes, or even Leona Lewis, you can imagine the looks you get when you start raving on about how cool Chopin's Nocturnes are. It doesn't go down well and you end up with a reputation as a geek and a square. At the time of the break-up, I thought the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now here I was, back in the old neighbourhood.

   Of course, Dad had lost the vicarage when he lost his job and now he was living at the end of a cul-de-sac off the back of Lidgett Lane. Mum parked the car in front of a run down two up two down semi. She turned to look at me and said something. I couldn't hear a word. I was listening to The Felice Brothers on my MP4. I pulled out an earphone.

   "What?"

   She looked irritated. She usually does, when I choose music over small talk. "I said, are you sure you're okay with this, Dilly?"

   I nodded and replaced the earphone.

   "Great. Here we are then. Put the walkman away. You know how silly your Dad gets about things like that."

   "It's an MP4," I corrected her. "I don't even know what a walkman is."

We got out of the car and looked at the house. The wooden gate was rotten. The house needed a fresh lick of paint and the garden was a mass of weeds. I was in hell.

   Dad came out of the garage then and waved at us. He looked more or less the same. A little thinner perhaps, and older. He'd lost most of his hair and he wasn't wearing his old dog collar. Instead he was wearing oily overalls. He came down to greet us.

   "Hey, here he is. Daddy's little helper. And how are you, little man?"

   "I'm not a little kid, Dad," I said, forcing a smile.

   He looked at me properly for the first time and nodded. "You're right." Then he turned to Mum. "What have you been feeding him, Emma? Fertilizer? He's shot up."

   Mum didn't return his smile. "You haven't seen him in four years, Tony. Of course he's grown."

   Dad looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "Yes. I know. So, how's my number one girl?"

   The poor old duffer, he just couldn't pick the right thing to say.

   "I'm not your girl anymore, Tony." She flashed her wedding ring at him and smiled like a wolf. I think she was enjoying his pain. Maybe he deserved it and all but I actually felt sorry for him.

   "Of course. Silly me. And how is Dan?"

   "Don. He's great."

   Dad winked at me. "I hope he knows how lucky he is. I was going to make tea. Come on in and join me."

   Mom looked at her watch and shook her head. "No time. I should be going. I don't want to be late."

   I saw a glint of steel in Dad's eyes. He never did like it when things didn't go his way. It seemed like he hadn't changed. "One rotten cup of tea. Come on. Don can spare you that long."

   Mum looked at me and then nodded. She didn't look happy. "Fine. One cup, but I'll have to be quick."

   You see what I mean? EMO hell. Is it any wonder I'm gloomier than that chick in the Twilight movies? Not that I've seen them, that is, or read the books. Well, I did read the first one, but it was by mistake and... anyway, that's none of your business.

 

The hallway wasn't impressive. A bare lightbulb and cracked lino on the floor. There was a cheap painting of a blonde Aryan looking Jesus, hanging, crooked, on the wall, with the words 'A friend who will never let you down' written on it. I followed Mum and Dad into the kitchen. It was filthy. Dirty dishes stacked high in the sink and dirty laundry piled up all around a grimy washing machine. The kitchen table was covered in junk mail and the contents of Dad's tool kit.

   I moved a pile of newspapers off a chair and sat down. "No tea for me," I said.

   "Me neither," said Mum. She didn't bother sitting down. "Look, Tony, I don't want you getting ideas. This is just for the month. While we're away. The minute we get back, Dylan comes home to me."

   Dad filled the kettle. "Fine, Princess. You sure I can't tempt you with tea? It's Earl Grey. I know you like it."

   "No. Listen, Tony, did you never think about getting someone in to help you clean up?"

   Dad shrugged. "Why? It's not that bad. Dylan can give it a quick wipe down with a cloth later."

   "Thanks, Dad. I've been looking forward to it."

   He came over and ruffled my hair with his knuckles. "That's my boy. You want to play football in the garden? I cleared some space for you."

   "No thanks. Where's my room?" I just wanted to escape from the two of them.

   Mum put her arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "I've got to go now. I'll leave you to show Dylan around." She bent down to look into my eyes as she cupped my face in her hands. "Be good. And if you need anything, you've got my number."

   I nodded. "Yes, Mum. Have fun." I let her kiss my cheek and then I kissed her back.

She pulled away from me then and turned to Dad. "The same goes for you. If there's any trouble, call me."

   Dad laughed. "Trouble? Don't worry, we'll be fine. Goodbye Emma."

   I don't think either of them knew how to say goodbye. Mum offered her cheek for him to kiss and he offered his hand. In the end they shook hands. It was sad. Mum had tears in her eyes as she left. I don't know if they were real or if she was doing it because that's how people are supposed to act in these situations. I'd like to think they were real.

 

My room wasn't much but it was better than the kitchen. Dad had brought my old bed from the vicarage. It still had the old football stickers on the headboard. He'd stuck up some lop-sided shelves on the wall and put a Gideon's Bible on it. There wasn't a carpet, just plain unvarnished floorboards. No telly either. That would mean I'd have to watch whatever he was watching downstairs. A diet of news, documentaries and Songs of Praise awaited me. Can you give me hallelujah? I unpacked my bag and lay on the bed, listening to the Felice Brothers again.

 

Dad called me down at six o'clock for dinner. He'd been busy cleaning. The kitchen wasn't going to win any hygiene awards but at least your feet didn't stick to the floor anymore. After four years down south, I had been hoping for fish and chips from the local chippy but even this small request was denied to me.

   "Fish and chips?" said Dad, rolling his eyes. "Deep fried rubbish. You're going to have some real food for a change." He lifted two fish cakes out of the pan and dumped them on my plate next to the peas. "That's brain food, Dylan. A month with me and you'll be brainier than Einstein." We bowed our heads while Dad said grace.

   I took a bite. It wasn't impressive. "They're still frozen in the middle."

   He cut into his and chewed it carefully. "You're right. How cool is that, eh? It's like fish flavoured ice cream without the cholesterol."

   Dad left me to wash up, while he went into the living room to watch the news. When I joined him, the television reporter was standing in front of Limewood Park, just down the road from us.

   "The people of Roundhay, in West Yorkshire can sleep soundly in their beds tonight, safe in the knowledge that a new hero is keeping their streets safe from crime," said the reporter. The screen then showed CCTV images of some goon in what looked like a Ku Klux Klan outfit, hitting a man over the head with a stick, while an old lady looked on, picking up her shopping from the ground. The reporter came back on screen again. "This man, who calls himself the Guardian Angel, struck last night, outside Limewood Park, saving a pensioner from two muggers. This is just the latest in a string of attacks on criminals in the area over the last few weeks."

   "What an idiot," I said. "He looks like he's in the Ku Klux Klan."

   "No he doesn't," snapped Dad. "He looks like an Inquisitor, from the Spanish Inquisition. A soldier of the church."

   "Whatever."

   The reporter was now standing in front of Chapeltown Police Station, talking to a  woman in uniform. "Public opinion is divided on the subject of this vigilante. Police Superintendent Iris Hughes, has called for the Guardian Angel to give himself up to the authorities before somebody gets seriously hurt."

   "That's right," said the woman in uniform. "This man is probably acting with what he believes are good intentions, but if he continues flouting the law he will be arrested."

   The reporter then asked the woman how she felt about those people on the council that had called for the Guardian Angel to be given the keys to the city.

   "He will not be getting any keys," she said, eyes blazing. "In fact if he continues, we will lock him up in a room, and take away the key."

   "Silly cow," I snorted.

   "Language, Dylan," said Dad, raising an eyebrow.

    I didn't reply. It was going to be a long four weeks. I looked at my watch. Time had slowed down to a snail's pace since my arrival.

   "Maybe you should have an early night," said Dad.

   "It's half past six, Dad," I said.

   "The early bird catches the worm, son."

   I stomped back to my room. No computer, no telly, no friends. Nothing.

 

I dozed off, fully clothed, lying on my bed. When I woke up it was dark. I looked at my watch. It was twenty to twelve. I'd never be able to get back to sleep now. I walked over to the window and peered out into the cul-de-sac. Quiet as the grave. No. I was wrong. There, under the street lamp stood a man in a raincoat and large hat, smoking a cigarette. He was taller than most men. Why was he wearing a coat in the middle of summer? He must be boiling. Either that or he was really old. Old people feel the cold, apparently. It looked as if he was breathing fire. It must have been a trick of the light, messing with the burning end of his cigarette. As I watched, another identical figure joined him. They were looking at our house. One of them looked up at my window and I stepped back into the shadows. I didn't want them to know I was watching them. After a moment I crept back to the window. They were gone. I breathed a sigh of relief.

   It was then that the world erupted beneath me. It sounded like an atom bomb. I was lifted off my feet by a hot blast of air, and crashed against the wardrobe. I lifted my hand to my head and found shards of glass in my hair. The window had been shattered. I stood up and ran unsteadily to the door. A flickering light came from the living room downstairs. Then I caught the smell of smoke and petrol. Someone had firebombed Dad's house. The flames reached the hallway. There was no way I could get out by going down.

   I reached for the handle to Dad's room and cried out as a hand clasped itself across my mouth. I kicked out and my heel connected with my assailant's ankle. He cried out and I span around.

   It was the nutter from the telly. The Guardian Angel. The one who looked like a white supremacist. "Come with me," he said, grabbing my hand.

   "Not without my Dad," I said, pulling myself free and opening the bedroom door. It was empty. When I turned around, the Guardian Angel had removed his stupid pointy hood. "Dad?"

   "We've got to get out of here," he said. He led me into the bathroom and pushed open the window. He leaned out and looked down into the back garden, then he stood back and pushed me forward. "Climb out and jump."

   "Dad, what's going on? I thought you were better now."

   "We'll talk when we're safe. The fire's spreading."

   For once he was talking sense. I climbed out of the bathroom window and perched on the ledge. It was quite a drop.

   "Go on. What are you waiting for?" he whispered.

   I jumped and landed heavily, slapping my hands on the concrete patio. "Argh." I stood up, my hands stinging. At least I hadn't broken anything. I looked up at the window. Dad had put his stupid hood back on and was perched there like a sinister idiot from a nightmare. He leaped down, his skirts billowing like a parachute. He landed noiselessly beside me. "Come on, it's not safe here."

He opened the back gate and we slipped out into the ginnel that ran along the back of the street. It was dark as hell and the only thing I could see was Dad's sheet in front of me. I held onto it. The smell of smoke was strong in my nostrils. Burglar or fire alarms were going off all down the street and I could hear the siren of a fire engine approaching.

   "What's happening Dad? We can't just leave the house."

   "Yes we can."

   We came out of the ginnel on the edge of Gipton Woods. I had always hated those woods, ever since I was eight years old and a group of teenagers had chased me through there, taking pot shots at me with an air pistol. They hadn't hit me, but I do remember they killed a squirrel that day. We came to a halt by a storm drain. Dad entered it.

   "I'm not going in there," I said. "It stinks."

   "It's safe."

    I followed him. My life had gone from bad to worse. Life really does stink.

 

 

Chapters

1

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S Richard Betterton wrote 382 days ago

You got spaz in line 3. That's worth a shelf any day.

Jay Adiyarath wrote 384 days ago

Hi Jason,

Very different kind of prose here which is quite livening. Although it's YA, I don't see why everybody shouldn't enjoy it. Needs a bit of editing though. I'll follow it as it goes and have two in the family who would be interested to read it as well.
I believe it deserves to climb up the ranks and for my part I have showered stars over it and placed it on my shelf.
all the best

Jay Adiyarath

M. A. McRae. wrote 457 days ago

On the surface this appears a light and entertaining story, but by the 5th chapter, it is getting sinister. Only 10,000 words - not enough to know which way the story will turn.
Very well written, I noticed just a single and very minor typo. (Ch 3, 'I'm goig to bed' should be 'going'.)
To be backed, Marj.

Cruse wrote 527 days ago

This is tremendous fun. I've finished chapter two and I'd very much like to read more. I'm so impatient with on-line reading so hurry up and get this one finished and out. The only thing you might want to look out for is nailing Dylan's colours to the emo mast. You need to let your readers identify with him and I know kids who'd be turned off by identifying with and emo! He can be insecure, rebellious, victimised and misunderstood simply by being an ordinary teenager! One nit-pick: You say "fascile". I don't think there is such a word. I think you mean "facetious".
Hope you're still working on this. I'll back it as soon as I have space.
Best wishes
Russell

SPW wrote 574 days ago

Quirky, different and lots of fun. This is a cracking read and one that deserves to make it.
Want to see where this one goes, please post more!
Excellent stuff.
Backed.

Simon,
Yuko Zen is Somewhere Else.

AlexClay wrote 577 days ago

very amusing. I thought your pitch was a bit OTT to be honest, but it sounded so bizarre I kind of knew this would be a little different. And I think you've backed it up with some great observations, some excellent one-liners. Refreshingly different.

John Warren-Anderson wrote 601 days ago

This is good. The story starts immediately, and then it gallops away. The characters come instantly to life. It was just a joy to read.

yasmin esack wrote 603 days ago

Dear Jason,
i have read your work and i am very impressed. The story flows like magic and more importantly connects with the reader. The story theme is an attractive one that would engage many. Surely, this has a big voice.

The narration is excellent.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Hope you will consider mine

best

Jaye Hill wrote 606 days ago

Excellent opener, great plot twists, authentic dialogue perfectly captured, loads of laughs, what more can one ask for? Furthermore one has a real interest in finding out what happens. Backed with pleasure Jaye

Despinas1 wrote 609 days ago

Wow !!! Jason, what a synopsis...... You're writing is amazing, powerful pros and genuinely good work..... Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

alison woodward wrote 609 days ago

love it,Dylan is great, the way he deals with his dad, its fun to read, love the things Dylan says to his dad but he has respect as well, you had made him a great character, backed with pleasure

alison

Patrick Fox wrote 610 days ago

This is a very enjoyable read. I only intended reading the first chapter, but I've just finished chapter three. Dylan is a good main character, but the real star of the show is his dad. Anyone who has a picture of a blond Aryan Jesus on his wall and who fights crime wearing a gimp mask is okay by me.

Jenni_James wrote 611 days ago

This was my very favorite pitch, so I was really excited to get to see this one... even thinking of a few people who might like it on premise alone. And it is super cute! And fast-paced and really fun. But with a character like Dylan, his angst comes through loud and strong without the beginning paragraphs comparing him as a cliche and angsty meyer's heroine (lol! though I agree, Bella--never was a whinier character ever created before! lol!).

While cute and fun, the narration actually detracts from how awesome this kid is. I'd say chalk it up to you finding his voice and laughing at his view of himself (more of a behind the scenes look) and chop it. Jump right into where he's dropped off at his house. While in the house, then discuss mom leaving because she got remarried again, blah,blah... and perhaps while dad is dressed like the guardian angel and saving him, then have the kid remark about him beating up the guy in the wheelchair. Maybe dad asking about nail polish or something while they're eating dinner. I don't know... but jump right to the action and leave the snarkiness to come out in little surprise spurts as we get to know Dylan more, it'll just add to his character more and create better tension and intrigue as we go along, trying to get a clear picture of this kid. Let us paint him, not the other way around. Does that make sense? lol!

I hope this helps and you don't shoot me! It really is a lot fun!
Let me know if you have any questions
Jenni

Strayer wrote 613 days ago

Young readers will so like this. Dylan is the perfect MC. It's a great story. I hope you continue writing for young adult.

Karina_Evans wrote 614 days ago

Brilliant. Loving the voice of the protagonist. Backed.

Karina
Volcano

Cariad wrote 615 days ago

What a wild and whacky dad! Your YAs will love this. Fast paced, cracking read with machete wielding father. Like the pace and the tone of the writing and your MC. I've only read three chapters but enjoyed every minute. made me laugh, pulled a few strings, kept me turning the 'page.' Been on my watchlist too long while I try to catch up - I keep getting caught up in reading. I don't have major crits or points to make here - I may have when I have read further, but I'm backing it while I carry on.
Polly
STONES.

naveennayar wrote 616 days ago

Dear Jason,
Great work, I burst out laughing when you asked for the nail polish & mascara, lots of wisdom when you talk about prefference of music over small talk, early bird get's a worm and when you so intelligently show human emotions when Emma shows her cheek for a kiss to Dylan's Dad and he just shakes her hand though it was utter confusion but the reader can understand this emotion, even a suspense as in the tears were in leaving Dylan with his Dad or not receiving a kiss from her X husband.You make it very interesting when Dylan realises that his father is the Guardian Angel and keep the reader hooked to the next Chapter.Your writing is Gorgeous is all I can say:)- Naveen.

Linda Lou wrote 620 days ago

GUARDIAN ANGELS-Jason Quinn
hullo Jason. The ultimate fantasy, a dad who is an undercover superhero. Good story and flow. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

nenno wrote 622 days ago

This is good writing but for me the voice does not ring true. He sounds too sophisticated / adult for a fifteen year-old. But the pace is there, the dialog is quick and the premise will find its followers. BFP FOUR BETTER FOUR WORSE

nenno wrote 622 days ago

This is good writing but for me the voice does not ring true. He sounds too sophisticated / adult for a fifteen year-old. But the pace is there, the dialog is quick and the premise will find its followers. BFP FOUR BETTER FOUR WORSE

Gary Wedlund wrote 622 days ago

This is a wonderfully lively piece of work. Something tells me when an author is heads into the craft when I start seeing specifics and not the usual mumbo-jumbo. I'm totally bought in to the character's situation. At one point I felt I knew a little too much up front, primarily when the dialogue started and the book literally took off. Still, if one is to dump backstory on the first page, this is the way to do it. Keep it hopping and fresh and weird. Loved the work and backed it with no sweat. Take a look at mine, should you have a moment.

Gary Wedlund wrote 622 days ago

This is a wonderfully lively piece of work. Something tells me when an author is heads into the craft when I start seeing specifics and not the usual mumbo-jumbo. I'm totally bought in to the character's situation. At one point I felt I knew a little too much up front, primarily when the dialogue started and the book literally took off. Still, if one is to dump backstory on the first page, this is the way to do it. Keep it hopping and fresh and weird. Loved the work and backed it with no sweat.

ccb1 wrote 624 days ago

Backed Guardian Angles. The teens will love this! You have connected with them brilliantly in your opening chapter. We are happy to back this. Best Wishes!
CC Brown
Dark Side

slh68 wrote 625 days ago

I like the wit, it`s a good story so far. Backed

Sarah Louise

Herschel Shirley wrote 625 days ago

Great beginning. Nice sense of humor, good descriptions and characters. Enjoyed the first chapter. Backed.

lisawb wrote 625 days ago

Entertaining and fun. Dylan is a nice character and the reader empathises straight away with him. An interesting premise that has lots of wit and is quite compelling.

Backed,

Lisa

Margaret Anthony wrote 626 days ago

There's lots to enjoy in this story. A sparky lad is Dylan and I can see much befalling him and his hapless father in exploits still to come.
An original if quirky story line is enhanced by snippets of sparkling wit, believable dialogue and an up-to the minute feel.
This must surely appeal to its target readers, I'm way off that but I enjoyed it. Happy to shelve. Margaret.

Mydhili R Varma wrote 627 days ago

Loved your pitch, Jason! Will read more and comment :)

Kristen Stone wrote 627 days ago

Guardian Angels
Loved this. I had every sympathy for Dylan and wondered if social services should be called in! Wish I had time to read it all. Backed.
Kristen Stone
Kianda Mala - The Monkey Man
Shattered Dreams

Eveleen wrote 627 days ago

Guardian angles
The opening is good and Dylan is a strong character
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

K A Smith wrote 627 days ago

Entertaining, with a broad wit, this rips along from disgruntlement to Dis. The dialogue feels natural and the anomie of a displaced teenager is captured well in the acerbic thoughts of Dylan. The plot seems to be heading off in a direction that will present him with dilemmas aplenty, with his father being the sort of person that will only help - help to make things worse, that is. Dylan works well for me, despite my having no affinity whatsoever with Emos, but I do think that it might limit your readership a little iof you identify him as such. Probably not that much, as all the other kids are playing computer games, htting each other, or hitting on each other, rather than reading... Thank you. KA.

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 628 days ago

'How cool is that eh?'...seems a bit incongruous
Well written with your characters defining themselves quickly in subtle ways...excellent dialogue helps to convey the conflict at the heart of the 'family'
Cheers
Stewart

M.A. Anderson wrote 628 days ago

I found the first chapter engaging. Dylan has a strong voice - witty, sarcastic and definitely teenaged. I've enjoyed what I've read so far and have your book on my watchlist. Good luck.

Finnegan wrote 629 days ago

Jason, I enjoyed reading the first chapter. I like Dylan’s “voice” and I think you have a good plot going. The only thing I have to offer, if I may, is this: For a dad and kid to have not seen each other for four years, I thought there first meeting should have a little more impact—be more emotional. It seems as if you are rushing through it to get to him discovering his Dad is the guardian. If that’s the case, then skip all that and go right to where his bed blows up and then fill in a little backstory. IMHO

My shelf is full at the moment and I want to leave it as is for a while. When I get a free spot, I'll put you on my shelf. I just wanted to post this comment while it was fresh in my mind. Hope that's okay.

Ayrich wrote 629 days ago

This shall stay on my shelf until you demand I remove it.

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 629 days ago

Dear Jason,
You've got right into the mind and heart of a teenager, which isn't an easy thing! i like your dialog and first person narrative. It's the right combination for this book. I hadn't heard of Emo until about a year ago, so I'm glad I did before reading your text. This book has all the right elements for a successful young adult novel..

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

ccpup wrote 629 days ago

I'm really enjoying this. It's written so well you can almost hear Dylan Towers' dry wit in every sentence. If I were to offer a general nit, it would have to be hands down your obvious love affair with commas. You put them everywhere! Even in places they have no business being. One can overlook that, of course, because the writing's so strong, the story so engaging, and the MC so damn addictive. That is, of course, if one isn't an agent or publisher.

This is what you do: take Comma out to dinner. You know, somewhere nice with tablecloths and candles. Maybe a bottle of wine. Reminisce, laugh about the old days -- remember when I slipped you behind "kid" in "fifteen-year old kid with greasy hair"? ah, those were the days --, just enjoy each other's company. And then after you pay the check, tell Comma it's over. You'll still see Comma from time to time when appropriate. But only then. But you'll always love Comma. Secretly. It just has to end ... for everyone's sake.

Don't worry. Comma has been through this so many times with so many others. (I admit, blushing) Comma will understand. :^)

Great work.

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

J. Moore wrote 630 days ago

This is downright friggin' hilarious! The wit, the sarcasm, the cleverness...I found myself thinking, "I hope Mr. Quinn meant for this to be funny," because it feels authentic. It feels as though Dylan is real, telling his farce as he sees it in utmost sincerity. The characters are huge, foolish caricatures of themselves; what makes this work so well, though, is that they're so serious about how they feel and what they want. No slapstick shit here, just plain genuine talent. This was a lot of fun to read. Backed infinitum.

J. Moore
Vigilante

SubtleKnife wrote 630 days ago

Like this a lot, and straight onto my shelf.

What an original concept.- great hook at the end of Chapter One and kids will want to know what happens next. Even I did, and I'm no kid. Smooth, confident writing, great characterisation and nice, quirky descriptive bits. Cheers! -Liz (Meggie Blackthorn)

Emma Morgan wrote 630 days ago

“After four years down south, I had been hoping for fish and chips from the local chippy...” Eh? I can reliably inform you that there are chip shops aplenty south of Yorkshire, Jason. Dylan seems to talk about himself as a disapproving adult would (“I’m a real-life walking, talking cliché”) rather than as a self-styled emo kid would. Teenagers think they invented/discovered everything they’re into, it’s only in hindsight that all the clichés become clear, so I would maybe suggest either toning down the unlikely insights or, if you’re wedded to them, reworking the novel in the third-person. Also, emo isn’t an acronym or initialism, it’s a contraction of ‘emotional’, so it needn’t be capped. That said, it’s a strong concept and has the potential to do very well.

Pia wrote 630 days ago

Jason -

Guardian Angels - a father living out his teens is embarassing, but goodness, what a tour de force. Dylan's voice resonates to the pitch of the general attitude a 15 year old (actual or at heart) would not be embarrassed to identify with. And having a cracked up Robin Hood as a father has a certain edge that is full of creative possibilities as well as hugely entertaining.

Backed recently, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

CarolinaAl wrote 630 days ago

You've given us a breathless, wacky story with edgy characters and vivid settings. Smooth dialogue. Confident narrative. Hilarious wit. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

Pat Black wrote 630 days ago

Excellent stuff Jason - you capture a teenager's turn of phrase very well. His "spazzy" stepdad; that was a tea-spitter moment! The mockery of all parental figures and the belief that they're hopelessly naff, topped off by his father being a crazed vicar. Superb stuff. A treatment of mental illness, in among the laughs and demon hunting?

All the best

Pat

rab14 wrote 630 days ago

I loved this- the humour is right up my street. Dad - dressed in his Guardian Angel get up - Dyland trying to make sense of his life and the feeling that something very nasty is about to happen are all beautifful described. The written is tight, too the point and not littered with superfluity. Well done. Backed K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

missyfleming_22 wrote 631 days ago

This is a really entertaining read! I still haven't decided, after three chapters, if the Dad is brilliant or crazy like Dylan thinks. And I love being inside Dylan's head, it's hilarious! Being swept out of the house in the middle of the night by a man in a Ku Klux Klan outfit, he keeps a great sense of humor about the situation. You dialogue is so realistic. I was impressed by the polished feel of this, nothing really stood out to me in the way of something to nit. Wonderful book, entertaining, funny, interesting, and moving along at a great pace.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Bocri wrote 631 days ago

01 September 2010
There are movie stars who have charisma and play themselves in every role. There are actors who surprise and delight with their portrayal of a character, by transforming learned lines into a believable and credible being. The author of Guardian Angels possesses an enviable variation of this art whereby he is able to convince his readers of his teenage persona purely with his selection of words and the structure of the passages. Wickedly, but smoothly, created perspectives and sharply humorous prose-- a punchy ex-vicar! Delightful. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

CamilleS wrote 631 days ago

Polished. well written, clever, witty, and fun MC; it has it all. Well done! Backing.

Camille
Curse of the Golden Fly

hikey wrote 631 days ago

Well captured dialogue and characters, a wit that is razor sharp,mischievous and original.
Jane

Pamela Wootton wrote 631 days ago

Good work Jason, hope to see you all the way to the top. You have written a good story and even made it better by the way you've narrated it. The dialogue between father and son is awesome. It also got me involved in the story. Every one I think would love to have a guardian angel.
regards to you and good luck to your book. It is BACKED by me with pleasure, hope you spare time for my book 'THE OUTRAGE' and maybe return the favour if you wish.
Pamela wootton.

Francene Stanley wrote 631 days ago

The reader is able to get inside the brain of a teenage boy with this story. His thoughts are well shown. Maybe you could cut out some of the early part of the chapter and get down to the action and sinister bit at the end of Chapter 1. There's plenty of conflict to keep the reader involved and the reader can see how reluctant the boy is to stay with his father.

A nit: The wooden gate was rotten...the garden was a mass of weeds. I was in hell. Now I'll accept the use of was in thoughts, but when it comes to descriptions, the offensive word puts me right off. There are so many other ways to say this.( eg: My gaze slid over the rotten wood on the gate to the mass of weeds beyond.) There are plenty more later. I suggest going through and clearing them up. Your story sounds promising.

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