Hope (1st Revision)

Greetings to Minnesota from England.This is a very difficult and ambitious theme to tackle,even today when we know so much more about what went on than in the past, I was amazed to read that you are only 22!This is a\ very mature performance and very best of luck.Watchlisted.Would you be kind enough to look at the first chapter of my book ' A Buccaneer' which is set in the Caribbean in the 17th century,best wishes Strachan Gordon

Your approach to this is interesting. On the surface, it seems your narration is distant, but in ratcheting up the concentration, it becomes apparent to the reader how very intimate this is. I loved the line about the man anxiously dipping his toes in and out of the pool of emotion, sending small ripples away from his body. I enjoyed the first two chapters today.
When I come back to read more, I just might have Gorecki's Symphony of Sad Songs playing in the background.
Very nice work here.
Cheers!
John B Campbell
Starred well.

I have just finished reading a story on Authonomy about David and Goliath, and then I came across your book, and thought it was apt to read it ("Star of David.") I had time to read the prologue, and thought this was a very sad, but convincing portrayal of a man trying to deal with being in a concentration camp. If anything, he isn't dealing with it anymore, because as we read we understand that all hope has left him, stricken out by the bodies he had to burn for the Germans. The way I read it, with every body he'd burnt, a part of him died, along with the loss of his daughter. I liked your description of how people's souls leave them through their mouths, but with Daniel he lost his soul even with his mouth clamped shut.

The way in which the Germans treated the Jews is horrifying, the gas chambers, the total disregard of the Jewish people as humans. It is even sadder that this treatment of different nationalities continued long after WW2, and is still going on nowadays. The Yugoslavian War of last century being the most proinent in my mind as I had an uncle put in a concentration camp. Luckily, he survived it, but it still sadden me what he had to go through.

I'll stop here for now. Kind regards, Marita.

P.S. I haven't read your original version, so I can't comment on whether this is better or not, but I thought it read very nicely, and was well structured. I didn't notice any typos. Also, I thought you did a great job describing the smells in the truck as well as the old man.

well researched, good story line and a subject which should never be forgotten. It could do with tightening up as previously suggested. The first instance I came accross was "and on I will never get back from" this would read better as and one from which I would never return. I will back the book for now, and hope yopu will return the complement.
Isabella
with each retreating wave.

This is great, thought provoking and emotive writing. We immediately sympathise with Daniel and feel his pain. You write very well indeed.

In places however, I feel you could improve it with some tightening. I'll use a couple of examples from the beginning so you can find them easily:


'I came to the realization' could be more simply writtten as 'I realized'
And ‘The nazis took it upon themselves to carry out the only solution they saw fit for someone without a purpose. Their solution is death.’
could be tightened to read, ' The nazis carried out the only solution they saw fit for someone without a purpose. That solution was death'

I have already backed this. It is quality reading. Sarah

I am currently writing a memoir of WWII and I am in awe of your ability to write about that period of time - well researched and beautifully tole story. backed 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

The maxims here drop like stones, weighty and memorable. You depict hope as a way of looking forever backward into the past, as if human nature believes in what has come before and, therefore, hopes. Your discussions of everything from death, to Hitler, to love and murder are provocative. Death is depicted as the only certainty, a faithful constant in a surreal existence. I wish I could teach parts of this manuscript alongside Wiesel's Night.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

The maxims here drop like stones, weighty and memorable. You depict hope as a way of looking forever backward into the past, as if human nature believes in what has come before and, therefore, hopes. Your discussions of everything from death, to Hitler, to love and murder are provocative. Death is depicted as the only certainty, a faithful constant in a surreal existence. I wish I could teach parts of this manuscript alongside Wiesel's Night.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

This really is a harrowing and immediate piece of historical fiction. We feel Daniel's hopelessness and sorrow in the face of such vileness. Reading this is a shock to the system. I wanted to pinch my arm to remind me that, while your characters may be fictional, these things really did happen.

The writing feels polished and the subject matter well researched. I'm backing this as I think the topic is important. I wish you luck finding publication.

Pete

Dear Matthew
backed you first and now the revision. such good work and well researched for sure...I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha! I have to wonder on this site at the
creations that come from peoples heads and of course the immense talent of those like yourself to animate
such colorful characters. I truly wish I had half your talent.

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Meticulously researched, obviously (unless you were there, which I doubt given ages etc.) and beautifully written. This is a work that shines with the passion that you must have to have built it so well.

BACKED

HOPE
Dear Matthew,
This is a riveting story. Full of beautiful writing straight from the heart. Extremely well written. Moving and passionate. Despite this being a story of truth, you would still have to have spent countless hours in research and I know how much this entails (my first book also was about WW2 in parts and I learnt an enormous amount). Well done you for giving us the chance to read this. I am happy to back this as it is so well written. - Good luck
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE
Faith

I can't thank Suzie enough for her kind words, but to avoid confusion this is not a memoir but a historical novel. The events that occur in my book are all factually correct, but the characters are all fictional.

Thanks to all who take the time to support Hope,

Matthew

Dear Daniel, I love that you have told your story & the tragedy of it. :) When I told my story in my memoirs, I thought I was bad off (& still am), but you show me that it could be much much worse. :) Thank you for letting the world know about the holocaust from the inside. :) God bless you. :) Since I have tight optic nerves, I tend to go back to the line I had just read - if you cut your paragraphs in 2, it would have been an easier read for me. :) Your pitch drew me in to read your book & you compassionate story kept me reading. :) I have backed your book :) - you would make me so happy if you would take a moment to back my 2 memoir books. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :)

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