THE HUNT FOR THE TREE OF LIFE (Book One)

Intriguing. Good idea. The Tree of Life - we may never see again as there are 'none righteous' until End Times when post Judgment the Way is paved in Gold and lined with the medicinal Trees of Life. Sounds like a journey of lost souls. Let me know as you get further along.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

You have a very interesting concept here, - a good story. At the moment, in my opinion, the writing is not yet of a polished standard. I didn't notice any errors of spelling, but there were awkwardnesses of phrasing such as 'heightened in the news' 'squaring up to America militarily,' and 'For he knew not of any slab.' I would suggest that you read it over aloud, play with the order of words, and maybe you can make it read more smoothly.
Ch 2, (or Ch 6) the writing became almost staccato, which most effectively increased the tension of the read. The repeated phrase, 'And the Chinese were watching' was most effective.
Presentation: I found the very short chapters disconcerting. Did someone tell you that each new incident should be in a new paragraph? If so, not necessary, at least in my opinion.
I think your story has real promise, and I wish you luck with it. Marj.

Yeah, where is that tree? I agree with Zan: "an elixir to banish death forever is exciting." Getting tired of perpetual war in Iraq and Afghanistan, it's time to look for that tree. "And the Chinese were watching . . ." Dr. Know-Little, Professor Muse, and Mr. Eagle-Eye? An alliance between Cuba, North Korea and Iran? You have an interesting satire on your hands. A little Swiftian, eh? I'll read more when I get a little time. If I could find that elixir, I'd have all the time I'd need. Sigh . . . Backed for now.

THE HUNT FOR THE TREE OF LIFE (Book One)

Arthur Zulu

I slab with a clueless poem - I like that! I thought the lines of the poems interesting - no wonder the professor had to read the lines, sometimes contradictory, hundreds of times. Any story about an elixir to banish death forever is exciting to me, although there are some prophets who have said that if we knew what lay beyond physical death, we would gladly take our own lives to possess it - if that were true, then we don't need the elixir you have in mind. Your plot is creative and clever and it has stimulated the grey matter which is good. YOur chapters are very short though. The five uploaded in your HC chapter one upload develop your plot well, but personally, and I am being constructive here, I think you need to flesh out these chapters a little more. I usually write novellas myself, but I've been told that some agents won't look at a manuscript unless it's at least 100,000 words long! (Boy, am I in trouble!!) Anyway, good story which moves along nicely and you have some interesting details to savour as man goes in search once again for greener pastures. You have a good sense of geography, of course Biblical knowledge as well, and I like the political intrigue. I think when you add some more depth to this by expanding your chapters and developing your characters just a tad more, this will be perfect. You have an impressive imagination. A pleasure backing you and all the best with it.

Hi Arthur,
I read chapter one (1-5) The pace is quick as the mystery of the poem and tension between the super powers mounts. All that is very well-written. I liked your style and the professor, on his seventh energy drink, and thought that was a fine way to begin, although the mood gets more serious as the story progresses.
backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi Arthur, nice, interesting stuff! You grabbed me at the synopsis and didn't let go. Simply backed.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

Dear Arthur


I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art
of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you
feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also
getting this book of your published. ( I wish I had half the talent some of you have on this site)


Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

All original ideas deserve to succeed and this is no different. Well written with plenty of intrigue and the promise of more to come. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

A very intriguing storyline and so far this is a compelling read. backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Arthur:
An interesting take on the age old Ponce De Leon story, in a way. You present as compelling plot, though I'd like to see a bit more in the pitch, I think. Your writing is taut and moves quickly, with plenty of momentum to carry readers on ahead. A few typos here and there, but on the whole, a solid read.
Best of luck with your book. Backed.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

This is an interesting idea for a story with plenty of action. I picked up just two little things.
Chapter 6 'Two divers went the sea' has a word missing I think.
and Chapter 15 the paragraph starting 'The undercover agents' you use the past tense and then 'They have been expecting it', maybe 'they had been expecting it' is better...but i'm not an expert!
Backed.
Gill

A fantastic intrigue story. Very well written and backed, naturally. If you have a moment, would you mind taking a look at Dawn of Shadows? Much appreciated. Best of luck.

Jack Hughes

Short, sharp chapters, plenty of shenanigans and a Biblical mystery all make for an entertaining afternoon's read. :)
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

paragraph starting: Who else could it have been - I think you should change '..and say the location..' as it sounds a little odd. 'Give the location? Provide the location?' what do you think? Also in that para - '..now the muse seem to be failing him.' Should that be seemed? or seems?

It's a great idea - and people love a search mystery with clues! You already have me trying to interpret the poem - I'm wondering why no 'g' on the end of beginnin' Your first chapter is great - giving us the nervous professor, the poem, the mystery. The dialogue works well, the sentences are spare and not overblown or telling instead of showing. The race between China and America adds tension, too. And you just KNOW we are going to read on to find out just what, and where, the tree is. Backed with pleasure.
Polly
STONES.

Dear Arthur, I love your plot of the search for the tree of life. :) I also love Mr. Eagle Eye :) - he makes your story. :) Your beckoning pitch made me want to read you book & you tight paragraphs & dialogue kept me reading. :) I know where the tree of life is :) - at the bottom of the Euphrates & Tigress Rivers by Ur according to Genesis. :) Great intriguing write! Hope you'll write many more books. :) I've backed your book :) - hope you'll take a moment to back my memoir book. :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

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