The Hiss of the Hourglass

Your pitch caught me right away - the combination of sailing ships, the era and the Scottish element - I couldn't NOT have a look. I have only read the first chapter but is written confidently. I will read more later.

Lorraine
Mannin Boy

I enjoyed this on the whole

The previous comment is well taken regarding the use of genre from the era rather than contemporary interpretation. I had some comments on my book which the readers could not understand why I used certain phrasing, but to keep with the era of World War II I had to express the dialogue in the way it would have been said back then. You have a good start to this story. Keep close to the historical facts as possible using embellishments only with the intent of personalizing the story. Make note somewhere in your credits that you are doing that. Best of luck.
-author of December Gold

Barmaid sounds a tad too modern for this timeframe...replace it with tavern wench or bar wench!
Was glad to see Bos'un in this...research is good...just need a wee bit of grog, square meals, salt beef, scurvy, top-men falling from yardarms and privateers! Look up (google) the expression...."No room to swing a cat." Might be good in your story!
Best of luck with this, tis a great tale.
Alison Butler

The writer slips me into the era with ease, using appropriate dialogue and details which speak of careful research.
It will be interesting to see where this story goes when more or if more is posted. Certainly, the writing is solid, the pitch tells me of rich material and the potential is here for a resounding good tale. Backed. Margaret.

A laddish kind of a tale reminiscent of Treasure Island etc...I assume this to be pitched at the younger reader as it smacks of mutiny and piracy on the high seas!
Best of luck Cap'n
Stewart

This captures the period well enough. Perhaps you could make the dialogue move less in paragraphs of speech and more in sentences where we can see the facial responses and body language and hear the grunts and sighs. I love the colonial period - your opening reminded me of Johnny Tremain's.

This is a brilliant story! Lavish and richly detailed, beautifully written and with a majestic sweeping plot. This will make an outstanding novel and I can't wait to read some more. Best of luck.

Backed.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Hello Mungo, Looking for superior writing, I hit on "The Hiss of the Hourglass." I immediately liked the way you recreated history, blending real people with your characters in a "show" versus "tell" situation. In my Fiction Writers Forum, we like the term "layering"--the filling in with body language, ambiance, speaker attribution, etc., after the main lines of the story have been laid down. You probably do this instinctively, but you do it very well. I also see a good tale about to unfold, so I'll not hesitate to back your novel and plan to read more as you show it. Best of luck--

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

Mungo,
I saw the cover of your book and I was drawn to read what you'd written. I think your writing is well set in the 1700 period and I much enjoyed the story and the way things are shaping up. Your description of setting sail in Shamrock is particularly good. You may like to read Windshadow (a story of a yacht) if you have time. Meanwhile, I'm glad to back this and look forward to your following chapters.
Backed,
Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Hi,
I enjoyed reading this.
Thereis a strong narrative undertow and the characterisations although a little sparse, are strong.
The pace is good for an historical fiction set in this period - it wasn't our modern world after all!
I think an edit is needed, because the word 'that' appears far too often and it detracts a little (in the eyes of a fellow writer). The writing could be tightened a bit therefore.
In the first chapter it might help to reduce the amount of tell as opposed to show and the description of recent event might almost merit a chapter by itself to lead into the motivations of your characters.
All that siad, I enjoyed reading this and am please to back it!
Great story.

Hi Mungo,
I read chapter one and thought it was interesting and worked as a good introduction to some of your main characters and the situation in Boston, with Adam's and Sullivan's conspiratorial conversation etc.
I thought 'rather less illegal than your rebellion' was a great line.
Backed with best wishes,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

This is one of those books that, if you are lucky enough to encounter early on in your reading life, you keep close by to re-read when comfort and losing oneself is the thing that matters.

BACKED

Mungo -

The Hiss of the Hourglass - I like the title, and this promises to be an engagingly told thriller. Sullivan has his wits about, a rough and endearing character. Spys abound in this great period of intrigue, which seems well researched. With you next edit you can easily tighten sentences here and there, especially in action. Something I would enjoy reading.

Backed, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Mungo -

I like the premise of your story. I can't get a chapter to load up at the moment, so will come back later.

Pia

HISS OF THE HOUR GLASS
Historical and full of facts. A great tale told here. Nicely crafted and well worth a read. Happy to back this.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

Nicely written in my opinion (for what that's worth). I stayed interested through the first chapter, which is all I read. Since it holds interest, flows nicely and doesn't have any stumbling sentences, that's good enough for me. Best of luck with it. Backed.

Dear Mungo


I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. such talent you have to create a compelling read for me. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Dear Mungo, I love that you are telling your historical fiction so that I can feel what was happening over 200 years ago to help our freedom. :) God bless everyone one that has helped to preserve our freedom. :) Your pitch beckoned me to read your story & your storyline with tight dialogue & paragraphs provided a good read. :) Thank you for bringing history to life. :) I've backed your books :) - could you take a moment to back my memoir book? Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

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