Book Jacket

 

rank 5463
word count 10175
date submitted 05.09.2010
date updated 10.04.2011
genres: Fiction, Children's, Christian, Rel...
classification: universal
complete

Where are you now, God?

Helmi Silverstone

Jim runs away to find best friend, Amanda, dying of leukemia. Is the man who turns up at his school really his long lost father?

 

Jim runs away from the city to return to the village of his birth and Amanda, his best friend from back then. An old man, who suspects that he's a runaway, warns him that "there are bad people out there" and it doesn't take long before Jim encounters them. Having lost money and satchel and unable to find his way back, he gets "lucky" or, as his mother puts it, it's "God directed luck". Jim finally makes it back to the village where a man turns up at the school claiming to be his father whom he hasn't seen for half his life. This sets Jim's imagination spinning wildly as he has no idea of what to expect. He just hopes it's not the man he's seen lurking around the school...

 
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tags

children, christian, coping with life changes, family, fiction, growing up, guidance, humour, inspiring, juvenile, lineliness, loneliness, parent-chil...

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10 comments

 

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Elijah Enyereibe Iwuji wrote 614 days ago

Dear Helmi,

Wow!! Where are you now, God? A very interesting and brilliant tale with great humour pitched on the storyline and perfect description. Authentic and original vioce, gripping and captivating. Young Jim, is boy with great gut who seemed to test whatever he will believe in. His attitude towards experiencing God's omnipresence and miracle is excellent. Prayer do work, but in God's timing not ours, for He proves Himself when you doubts His existence. Jim tested, and He proved. Your plot, description and dialogue are well paced. Great talent, keep it up. Backed last night. Wish you all the best of luck.

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims of African Wealth)

coCinstrumental wrote 379 days ago

As much as I loathe shaved heads, it was wonderful of Jim to shave his head for Amanda. It would feel kinda weird for here anyway having no hair while he has hair. I hope they get married. Please read my book, "Crowded" GIve an honest review but be gentle and explain things clearly Thanks

mdmann1 wrote 401 days ago

A much needed look at how children with illnesses suffer.

Rachel V wrote 481 days ago

Your pitch presents a story which tackles a difficult and painful theme, but the character of Jim didn't grab me hard enough in the first chapter. I'll try to explain why, because I think this story is worth developing.

The first section is an infodump, full of narrator voice, filling the reader in on the background before they ever see the characters. This puts a distance between me and Jim immediately. You tell his decision to run away as a totally detached narrator. I still don't have a reason to care. I don't know this child, and the rather bitty structure of what follows doesn't give me a chance to get to know him. There are a lot of short sections, separated by chunks of time, which break my interest, rather than sustaining it. I keep having to think "We've jumped again. When is it now?"

Could you start with him telling Pete why he hates the city? He's got a good friend there, and you could use him as a vehicle to put some of the backstory into dialogue. Slip some description of Jim in - I don't even know what he looks like. Give us more of his growing fear as the day gets worse. Make us fear for him. Make your reader care about him. (Even if you don't like the book, read the opening of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone critically, and see what JK Rowling does to get our interest in Harry going!)

Good luck with this Helmi - you're doing something that needs to be done!

Rachel

Nikki B wrote 589 days ago

Well-written. Full of messages, like others have already commented, but it feels natural and fits the story. I like your writing style, your dialogue and you capture Jim's emotions verywell.

NikkiB.
A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO DRAGON FIRE
and
THE WORMS ARE COMING!

Eunice Attwood wrote 589 days ago

There is such a positive message in this delightful book. These topics need to be discussed more often, and more openly. In my childrens books, I always try to bring a message across, about what happens after we leave this world, and I try to take away the fear of death.(Thomas Fairchild).
You have done an amazing job with this story. You have unique voice, which needs to be heard. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

andrew skaife wrote 590 days ago

A very important text written with a very important set of themes and messages.

BACKED

Elijah Enyereibe Iwuji wrote 614 days ago

Dear Helmi,

Wow!! Where are you now, God? A very interesting and brilliant tale with great humour pitched on the storyline and perfect description. Authentic and original vioce, gripping and captivating. Young Jim, is boy with great gut who seemed to test whatever he will believe in. His attitude towards experiencing God's omnipresence and miracle is excellent. Prayer do work, but in God's timing not ours, for He proves Himself when you doubts His existence. Jim tested, and He proved. Your plot, description and dialogue are well paced. Great talent, keep it up. Backed last night. Wish you all the best of luck.

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims of African Wealth)

Walden Carrington wrote 614 days ago

Helmi,
Where are you now, God? is a precious tale which is sure to appeal to young readers and have a positive influence on them. Backed with pleasure.

name falied moderation wrote 626 days ago

Dear Helmi


i would buy it for myself for sure. well crafted, and soooo real to me...that is due to your writing skills. such talent and ability with words to create quite the animated movie in my head
CONGRATS I have to wonder on this site at the
creations that come from peoples heads and of course the immense talent of those like yourself to animate
such colorful characters. I truly wish I had half your talent.

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

SusieGulick wrote 626 days ago

Dear Helmi, I love that your story covers areas in a child's life that are not usually discussed. :) Illness & parents' divorce is hard to face, but they are realities whether we like it or not. :) Great write! :) Your pitch prepared me for my read & your tight paragraphs & dialogue made for a quick read. :) Hope you'll write a lot more stories. :) Ive' backed your book :) - hope you'll take a moment to back my memoir book. :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

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