Shag Carpet Toilet

I found this story engaging and enjoyable, yet I would never have bothered reading it if it had not been an 'owed' read. The title, 'Shag Pile Toilet' and the book-cover, picture of said toilet, had me expecting poorly written and probably vulgur, unfunny comedy.
I would suggest you change both, and keep the story unchanged. The style is easy and natural, the humour an intrinsic part of the narrative, and based on truth - the best sort of humour. I found no typos in the three chapters I read.
Most enjoyable and to be backed. Marj.

Thanks much! I'm just now starting to think about a sequel-eventually we'll get to your time (I have another one planned for after that with the same characters). I noticed no books from you.... I'll be happy to read anything you have!

Before my time but this is funny stuff. The wife (Becca) said I might like this and i am happy to give support to it.

I enjoyed this. it took me into a world I have no knowledge of at all. The characters were rich and totally believable. They could be your mates sitting around you. I was almost reminded of Annie Proulx's world. Good stuff. Backed
Lara
Good for Him
(This world about as far from yours as possible)

Thank you very much! I will definitely have another look at the kids. You're right. Lighthearted banter is a kind of a disconnect. Plus, if there is a small amount of pathos in the beginning (I really like your allusion to Macbeth!), the story which follows will be that much more of a contrast. Thanks again. Al

Shag Carpet Toilet is competently written with direct, succinct economical prose while still retaining graphic power. The story is revealed at the optimum pace and does not deviate. I had read several pages before I realised that something appeared lacking - emotion. The actions of both children seem to be admirably controlled, workmanlike and even light hearted despite the recent loss of their father. While not advocating pathos, drama or Macbeth hand wringing the infusion of some adjectives and adverbs of a 'sad' nature would provide a more rounded element to the characters. Despite this comment the work is substantial and has potential. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

I read the prologue. The opening paragraph is written well & describes a nice scene. The situation with the man lighting up where he shouldn't is very dramatic and grabbed my attention. The stories that the kids find sound interesting. I'm impressed with what I've read. I'm happy to back this.

Thanks very much! I'll fix the obvious and mull over the not-quite-so-obvious. I appreciate the feedback.

I like books about real people, and there is much in the opening page to show me you are a writer. However there are too many careless mistakes, and to some degree, verbiage. In fact a lot of tedious mistakes and it detracts from the flow of your story. Nitpicks as follows, 'Nothing could resist the this irresistible outward creep. Possibly too much, good opening until that sentence. Holy cow left hanging there, I think put in 3 * to denote scene change on first page, otherwise is confusing. Florid expression?? Incorrect, I would think.. Coalesced..? Etc - too flowery too often. (Like me and 'verbiage' :) Your style is easy and hiccups only when you try to hard. Just tell it, you're doing fine, in my humble opinion. The title is different, cutesy, but could possible prevent people from reading on. Explained by the pitch though, so, perhaps it works well? Definitely a title one remembers. In the pitch, there are a lot of books on this site that reminisce about this or that, a few from this era that I have seen. Perhaps a line or two to indicate why this book is different. And they are all different. Hope this helps. The Tails of Willie Gusty

Thanks very much. Chapter 7 will be very easy to fix. I definitely agree that two "outs" in one short sentence is unacceptable. I'll look at the Prologue real close and will make any changes necessary. Thanks again!

Shag Carpet Toilet - whoever thinks up a title like that deserves to have a hit work! And yes it is very entertaining - one is quickly hooked in and happily reads on. However, I think some careful editing is needed. I did find that I had to read the opener several times in order to understand the timescale and by giving Michael Donnovan a Jnr I found very confusing! Stuff like in In chap 7 - I thought I'd air it out before Mrs Spinelli and I head out ...Two outs in one short sentence! I strongly recommend that you read through the whole aloud, as for an audio book, and you will soon understand where to make changes. But every good luck with this Kenneth it is worth going the extra mile for.

Thanks, Wilma. I'll be setting aside some time this evening and will give Liam Riley a look. Looking forward to it. I appreciate your comments about the first part of SCT. I toyed with Mickey's demise in several ways before I decided on what actually happened. It was my intention for the first bit to be a downer before I launched into the "meat" of the book. The only problem is that I seemed to have painted myself into a corner with Mickey and Spags-they both ultimately die. Luckily, though, I still have their high school and early adult years to write about. Plus, I've tossed around the idea of a "prequel" which tells the story of their early years at Saint Stanislaus. The good news is that, by the time I get around to writing THOSE, I'll probably be dead myself! Thanks again for reading!
Al/Ken

Your first chapter threw me with the description of the fire and how the father died I was expecting a different kind of read after that. The discovery of the drawings and stories was excellent its always good to find somethning good left behind after a death. Then the book morph's into something much litghter. This is a story the moves and evolves and that coupled with the excellent 'Demand Attention Cover' makes it worth reading. I liked all of the different elements and I hope this does well for you.

Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley - I hope you find it an enjoyable read

Absolutely delightful. What a natural, easy flow you have with your writing. Wonderful humour on display, along with a great imagination. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Dear Kenneth
Your novel Shag Carpet Toilet is so original, its bound for greatness and success. I wish you the best of luck with it, although strangely I doubt you will need it.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Very fresh. Very imaginative. A hysterical story. Endearing characters depicted with skill and keen observation. Snappy dialogue. Effective narrative. Vivid sense of place/time. A compelling storyline. Clever wit. Impressive writing. A fun read. Backed

Kenneth,
Shag Carpet Toilet is an amusing story which is sure to appeal to young readers and older folks with fond memories of their early years. Backed with pleasure.

You are totally fantastic, Al! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book. :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Huzzah! Lincoln and Grant would be right at home with Mickey and Spags! In fact, as I was reading about the brothers, I kept picturing how they would be right at home with the kids from Saint Stanislaus. What a good read. Thanks for sharing. Backed without hesitation.
Al/Ken

Excellent view of the everyday. Nice to take a romp back into time. Nice place to visit, but I sure as hell didn't much like living there. The descriptiveness here is first rate. I'm backing it, and hoping you get a chance to read mine in return. If not, still good stuff. Keep up the good work.

Backed

Gary

I love what I've read of this! Of course, I'm from approximately the same age group as Mickey, so the nostalgia resonates. Still, it was a time when the real world was all we had, wasn't it? Where weirdness and characters blossomed without the tempering and homogenizing influence of virtual friends and internationally shared experiences. I like the way you introduce the story--Mickey's kids poking through his stuff trying to get a hold on his essence and uncovering Shag Carpet Toilet in the process. I even share the same seemingly neurotic suspicions Mickey was experiencing just before his appropriately designed demise--watching out for one careless idiot while another out-of-control moron bears down on him from another direction--great irony! Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Nicely, done. I was actually born, in 1972 and so was a teenager in the 80's but apart for the big hair (um, very big hair) I had no problem relating.
Backed.
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

I really enjoyed this, it's a great coming of age tale and regardless of when we grew up, I think there are a lot of people out there who can relate to this! You've got a great writing style, really a pleasure to read, it flows and gives the reader just the right amount of information. Characters, dialogue and setting are all wonderful, I couldn't find anything that didn't work for me while I read. Keep up the good work!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

A little different to growing up at the same age in Scotland, no, a lot different. More freedom, more attitude and a great read. Very visual. Happy to back...
Angus Shoor Caan

Thanks, GK! I'm looking forward to having a look at CBGB.
I don't know what it is about Connecticut, either. The funny thing is that most (not all) of SCT is based on things which really happened. My father DID cover the toilet in shag, we DID put a bee in one of our nun's sandwiches, our altar boys DID go to Playland every year, and there really WAS a fart-lighting contest at summer camp. A few of the names are real (I won't say which), but there never was anyone named Mickey, Spags, or Donny Brooks. An interesting aside....in the school where I work, I picked up a worksheet from the floor this morning. The name on it? Michael Donovan! Plus, within 15 minutes of where I live (not CT), there is a parochial school called Saint Stanislaus.
Thanks again!

You captured the time well. The father as fixer upper was done particularly well.
Mike is a comfortable character to read. God luck with this.

You have written a very interesting, humourous and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Mickey. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Dear Kenneth C. Lynch,

Let me pull on my Bullwinkle baseball cap and have a read of Shag Carpet Toilet. Mom was right and saved you from the stanky old dirty public schools. I’d have taken the Irish-accented Slovak and the Ed Asner look alike with the unibrow rather than “four more years” of a school without mirth. Why does Connecticut seem so much more wholesome, than, say, New Jersey? Notice there is no Housewives of Connecticut or Connecticut Shore polluting the airwaves. Ken, great fun 70s ride.

Best wishes and backed…happy to know that when the list on Authonomy grows gloomy the reader can return to Shag Carpet for giggles.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Thanks, Stewart, One of the biggest realities of my writing is keeping it succinct. In other words, I never had a problem meeting a teacher's word count expectations. Saying in 10 words (instead of 100) was always a problem. In fact, I probably did it again with my reply to you!

I found the prologue unnecessarily long-winded but the writing is solid and I will read more later
Cheers
Stewart

Hi,

I'm new here too, I just joined yesterday. Saw you on another thread, saying you'd just joined too, and you sounded friendly, so I thought I'd go check out your page.
Read one chapter of your story, and I'm in. I backed your book. Looking forward to reading more.

Good luck! Hope we both find good things here in the Authonomy world... :)

Jennifer Gracen
Affair At The Manor

Thanks! I really appreciate the comment about putting thoughts in quotes or italics. I never knew that, but it makes perfect sense. Also about the pitch-I think I can easily adjust. Tonight is my "reading" night. I'm looking forward to reading other people!

I love this, maybe partly because I graduated high school in 1968, but also because your characters ring true, the story is amusing and clever, and you write very well. Absolutely great title as well. I do think the pitch would be mre catchy if there is some reference to finding Micky's story.. And one small nit: thoughts should be in quotes or in italics. I like italics because it sets thougts apart from speech, but either is okay. Backed, and staying on my WL for further perusal. :-)

I love this, maybe partly because I graduated high school in 1968, but also because your characters ring true, the story is amusing and clever, and you write very well. Absolutely great title as well. I do think the pitch would be mre catchy if there is some reference to finding Micky's story.. And one small nit: thoughts should be in quotes or in italics. I like italics because it sets thougts apart from speech, but either is okay. Backed, and staying on my WL for further perusal. :-)

Kenneth:
Though this predates me only by a couple of years, your story takes me right back to my childhood in the seventies. You capture the images and ethos well. A fun, interesting read.
Best of luck with your book. BACKED.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

Hi Kenneth, you have chosen a good narrative style to tell your tale. When I read your pitch, I expected a dull exposition, an autobiography that read like a boring diary of events. But not at all. Your characters shine for the page (screen) and the idea of the kids searching through their father's odds and bits is brilliant. Rachel and Brandon's dad's death at the petrol station is well done -- the tanker took me by surprise the same as it did Mike and the man with the cigarette.
I'm looking forward to reading more 'his' of book, which continues the lively style with lots of amusing dialogue.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Dear Kenneth



I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. such talent you have to create a compelling read for me. I also believe your long pitch sells your book well. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more.

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
Denise
The Letter

Dear Kenneth,
Coming from Massachusetts, I know Cumberland Farms well! I like your level of detail - you describe but don't go overboard with too much. Nice style!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Wow, this is so much better than I imagined. I laughed the whole way through Ch 3 and will finish in the next few days.

I love the bumblebee in the tuna and all the hysterical hijinxs of your youth. My brother went to Fairfield Prep for Freshman-Junior year and then transferred to Amity; for many of the same reasons you joke about.

You weave your story superbly and I feel this is publish worthy as is and would buy this in a minute!

I'll comment when I finish it.

Most deserved of my backing
Denise

Geat humor . . . hell, even your "about me" struck my funnybone. Well done.

By the way, nice work on the dialogue.

Suz

Thanks, Paula. I fixed it. You are absolutely right and I'm a little embarrassed that that never occurred to me.
I'll do quite a bit of reading this weekend!

Fascinating, as we read on, we develop an understanding of the father with the story and the subtle humour keeps us reading too. Not sure about "The mountain yawned skywards" though. A chasm or crevice can 'yawn' but not a mountain. You should do very well with this. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Funny smelling balloons? Oh my gosh- -too funny. I love love love your witty writing style. I only meant to read a little, to see if i wanted to WL this one, and ended up reading through chapter two.

I'm not usually a fan of grammar like 'Whatzit", but you make it work. Your writing is smart and sharp. Love it! I am shelving this-- and I can't wait to read the rest of it!! Great work!

If you get a chance, I would be honored if you would take a look at my book, Princess. It's a Young Adult novel- and not funny like yours, but you might enjoy it. I would appreciate any input and/or backing that you would like to offer.

Thanks!
Warm regards,
Cori

thoroughly enjoyable read, love the snippets of humour popping out here and there. Backed.

I love the opening larva mountain that then tumbles from high drama into domestic rubbish and likewise the mundaneness of the mildly annoyed middle aged man at the petrol pump that explodes into life changing drama.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

A good humoured nostalgic story from the age before disco! Nice writing and some lovely descriptions, a great piece of writing (in spite of how old it makes me feel!).

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Hi Kenneth, well, I started smiling while reading your first line. Fun stuff! Nice consistent story flow. You do justice to the genre. Backed.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

I thought only the parents of an old friend of mine from high school were crazy enough to have shag carpet in their bathroom. Wow, shag carpet - just brimming with tiny creepy crawlies. Anyway, the sudden death of Mike is an eye opener. It makes me wonder how my children would have to hassle with going through all the crap that my wife and I have accumulated through the years; especially, the unpublished novels and short stories I have written. I'd love the have the "Bullwinkle the Moose baseball cap." I love the way you start this and I love the title. I'll read some more when I get a little time. Backed for more. By the way, Keith Richards may be a good health teacher since he is still living or just an example of miracles.

This is an entertaining read so far. Easy to back and love the title - get some decent cover art and nine out of ten readers will pick this up.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Hi Kenneth, what I like about your book is your talent for description.
Its a great read with humour dotted about here and there.
Excellent characters and voice to it. Loved the prologue.
Backed with pleasure.SHELVED.

Would be pleased if you could take a look at my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest - Series)

Dear Kenneth, I love your story :) - wondering if it's true? :) Brought back a lot of memories of going through my parents stuff after they died & wonder if my kids are going to be going through my stuff when I die & if it will all be thrown out? :) Your story sure triggered a lot of emotions in me :) - & even tears. ;( Your pitch & introduction drew me in to read about Mickey. :) Tight dialogue & paragraphs made for a quick read. :) Great write. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

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