Book Jacket

 

rank 4168
word count 65358
date submitted 08.09.2010
date updated 02.10.2010
genres: Fiction, Comedy
classification: universal
complete

Shag Carpet Toilet

Kenneth C. Lynch

What was it like to be a teenager in the summer of 1972?

 

Shag Carpet Toilet, set in Stratford, Connecticut, during the summer of 1972, is the story of 14 year old Mickey Donovan as he prepares for his freshman year following 8th grade graduation from Saint Stanislaus Catholic School. A lighthearted look at life before the age of disco, Shag Carpet Toilet tells how Mickey deals with his first job, neighborhood bullies, family vacations, his first love, and a father who thinks covering his bathroom fixtures with shag carpet is the height of fashion.

 
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tags

adolescence, humor, nostalgia

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Prologue

Prologue

 

    The mountain stretched skyward, blocking the dying rays of the late afternoon sun.  Its base cut a broad swathe like an oozing river of lava as it threatened to swallow everything in its path.  Nothing could resist its inexorable outward creep.

    Holy cow, Rachel marveled as she gaped at this impossibly large pile of odds and ends, Dad sure was a packrat.

    Her younger brother stuck his head into the open doorway of the study.  “Hey, Rach," Brandon said, "how you making-yikes!  Is this all the old man’s?”

    Rachel Donovan collapsed into the rickety chair set next to a computer desk, careful not to dislodge the lopsided pile of graphic comics which perched perilously on its edge.  Luckily, though, the keyboard prevented a full-scale paperwork collapse onto the floor.

    She turned and said, “Kind of a dumb question, don’t you think?  I mean, whose else do you think it could it be?”

    Brandon whistled.  "Yeah, I know, but look at all this stuff!  I mean, how ya gonna be able to figure out what stays and what goes?”

    “You got me,” she answered, dragging a carton of books to her feet, “but I’m going to have to.  How are you making out in the bedroom?”

    “Just about done.  When I’m finished, I’ll come give you a hand.”

    Left to herself, Rachel wearily studied the huge stack of her father’s possessions.  Even though it loomed menacingly over her head, she felt some comfort by its presence.  As strange as it seemed, it drew her closer to the man who was unfairly taken from her a couple of days earlier...

 

    Stopping off at Cumberland Farms, one of those ubiquitous New England convenience stores which never closes, all Michael Donovan, Jr. wanted to do was gas up his beat-up Ranger and get home.  Since he had to be at his job at the Zoning and Codes Office early the next morning, he figured it would be much better to top off his tank now than at the freezing crack of dawn.

    Even though fifty-one was still pretty young (except in dog years), he hated how the cold seeped into every joint of his body and twisted them like fairground pretzels.  Winters were only for kids, he grumped.

    On the opposite side of the fuel island, an equally frazzled commuter was intent on doing the same.  Wearing a rumpled khaki overcoat, scuffed brown shoes, and a florid expression, the man resembled a sweaty pear, in spite of the cold.  Slapping his hands together to keep the blood flowing, he retreated to the warmth of his monstrous, running SUV while the pump chugged merrily away.

    Mike craned his neck around the island to see his neighbor pull a cell phone from his coat.  He shook his head.  It never failed to amaze him that so many people thought they were so indispensable that they had to be on all the time.

    Plus, warning signs on the island clearly indicated that devices such as cell phones weren’t to be used while fueling.  And to shut off your car while gassing up. 

    Idiot.

    Mike glanced at the shimmering vapors dancing around the nozzle feeding into his truck’s tank.  He caught a few whiffs of the sweet-smelling fumes, but most slowly coalesced before sinking to the ground.

    He looked up to see the other man toss his phone onto the dashboard.  Even though Mike knew there was virtually no danger of a cell phone sparking any sort of explosion, he was still relieved the call was finished.

    He felt a sharp click as his tank filled.  He squeezed the handle a couple times to force a few more drops in before yanking it free.  Retrieving his receipt from the self-serve keypad, he turned to go.

    At the same time, he heard a snap from the other side of the island as his neighbor finished fueling.

    Anxious to be on his way, the man in the sport utility vehicle jumped from the warmth of his front seat.  An unlit cigarette dangled from his lips.

    Glad I never picked up that habit, Mike thought.  I’d hate to go through life always needing one of those goofy things hanging off my face.

    He laughed quietly as the man, while trying to force a few more drops into his tank, squeezed the handle one time too many.  Forced to the rim, a quick spurt of gasoline splashed from the tank and onto his wingtips.

    Chuckling, Mike pulled his door open and hoisted himself into the driver’s seat.

    He twisted the key in the ignition and, after several balky coughs, the engine rumbled to life.  As he pulled the gear shift, he frowned when he saw his neighbor pat himself down.

    What was he looking for?

    Reaching into his front pants pocket, the man gave a smile of triumph and pulled out one of those Bic disposable lighters you could pick up at, well, any Cumberland Farms.

    With alarm, Mike watched him thumb the lighter’s little metal wheel.

    “Oh, you gotta be friggin’ kidding me,” he said to the driver’s window.  He squeezed his eyes shut and steeled himself for the inevitable "whoompf" followed by the fueling island's collapse into an orange fireball.

    Unfortunately, neither he nor Mr. SUV saw the delivery tanker bearing down on them as it left the turnpike.  Reaching the base of the exit ramp, it roared through the intersection after its brakes failed.  Pushing aside a city bus as if it were a toy, it bounced like a thunderclap across a median littered with frozen weeds and torn signs advertising a "Free cup of coffee with every fill-up!"

    They never knew what hit them...

 

    Carefully sifting through piles of doodads, knickknacks, and bric-a-brac, Rachel cobbled together three piles:  Gotta Go, Gotta Keep, and Gotta Think About It.

    Most of the things which her father hung onto seemed pretty ridiculous.  An empty matchbook celebrating a wedding for people she never heard of and a tattered playbill for some off-off-off Broadway show were typical of the memorabilia packed away in cluttered boxes.  She was amazed that he had kept any of these things.

    She looked at the three mounds, half expecting little paper prairie dogs to leap from the piles to scold her, and reconsidered.  As silly as some of it was, this stuff evidently had meant something to him.

    As soon as they'd gotten the call following the accident, Rachel and Brandon rushed back home to Stratford.  It was a much easier trip for her than her brother.  All she had to do was drive a few hours from Philadelphia while Brandon had to fly cross country from San Diego.

    While their aunt took care of the funeral arrangements with the Hajzus-Fox Funeral Home, it fell on Rachel and Brandon to clean out Dad’s little apartment on Canaan Road.  Initially deemed a kindness, Rachel thought otherwise as they struggled through their father’s possessions.

    Still, she realized it had to be done, as she added yet another contribution to the Gotta Go pile.  The three-room dwelling had to be cleared out by the end of the month so another tenant could move in.  As much as it pained them to consign his many belongings to cardboard boxes or, worse, the trash, they knew they weren’t rich enough to open the Mike Donovan Memorial Museum.

    Although, she smiled as she placed a Bullwinkle the Moose baseball cap on her head, there was plenty of stuff to open a museum.

    “That is so you.”

    Rachel turned to see Brandon standing in the doorway.  “I’m finished with the bedroom,” he said.  Glancing at the heaps at her feet, he continued, “I like your system.  Everything staying?”

    “You wish,” she said, knowing her brother was every bit the collector their Dad was.

    “Well, then, let’s keep going.  Have you looked in that one yet?”

    Brandon pointed at a large moving box in the corner.  Labeled Box O’ Mike in black Sharpie, it dwarfed the others beside it.  “Naw, I needed your help moving it.  It looks pretty heavy.”

    Her brother stepped over the three piles and grasped the carton on two opposite corners.  With a grunt, he pulled it free of the magazines and paperbacks surrounding it.  “Jeez, you’re not kidding.  What’s he got in here?  Rocks?”

    Thankful he didn’t have to carry it any farther, Brandon dropped the carton with a thump at Rachel’s feet.  He wiped sweat from his forehead and joined his sister on the floor.

    Rachel pulled the packaging tape from around the carton’s edges and quickly unwound the string holding the box shut.  She flipped the top open and peered inside.  “Books.”

    “Books?”

    “Well,” she said as she pulled out a notebook, “not books, exactly.  More like those tablets we used to use in school.”

    She began leafing through its contents.

    “What’s in it?”

    “Oh, this is so cool.  These are his stories.”

    Brandon looked over her shoulder at pages crawling with childish scribbles.  Here and there he saw crudely drawn pictures of spaceships and aliens.  “Oh, yeah,” he said, “Dad told us he liked to write.”

    Without pulling her eyes from the pages, Rachel answered, “He said he wrote a lot of stories when he was just a kid.  This looks like one of his Screaming Eagle stories.”

    “Oh, yeah, that’s right.  He said those were like Star Trek with all the characters named after him and his friends.  Kind of an ego thing, huh?” 

    He looked inside the box.  “I wondered what happened to them.  Wow, there’s a whole bunch in here.”

    Rachel retrieved a handful of tattered notebooks.  As she scanned their pages, she was impressed by her father’s imagination.  In page after page of longhand, Rachel saw tales of spaceships, monsters, dinosaurs, and who-knows-what from who-knows-where.

    Digging through the stack, she noticed that, as he got older, Mike Donovan had devoted less time to the fantastic and more to real people and situations.  She wondered if it was a coincidence that those stories were typed, rather than written out longhand.

    It dawned on her that she was looking at something like a time capsule.  While the earlier stories were written by a child, these typed ones were spun by a young man who was developing a growing sophistication in his work.

    She turned to see Brandon intensely poring over a story about a werewolf from another planet.  Well, not everybody grows up, she grinned.

    Towards the bottom, she withdrew a set of pages from underneath half a dozen dog-eared tablets.  Looking a little newer than the others, this inch-thick compilation was neatly bound in clear plastic and sported a navy blue binding. 

    Unlike its companions, it was free of the countless splotches of correction fluid which peppered his other stories; it was apparently done on a computer.  Even though Mike wasn’t an especially good typist, even he knew the benefits of a computer’s cut and paste feature.

    Still, it was several years old.       

    “Whatcha got there?” asked Brandon, his fascination with interplanetary werewolves momentarily forgotten.

    “Looks like a story Dad wrote when we were just kids,” Rachel answered as she flipped through its pages.  Pausing at the bottom, she choked up a little.  Oh, Dad, why did you stop writing?

    Brandon scooted next to her.  “Cool.  Whatzit called?”

    She looked at the cover and answered, “Shag Carpet Toilet.”

    Rachel began to read. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

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M. A. McRae. wrote 447 days ago

I found this story engaging and enjoyable, yet I would never have bothered reading it if it had not been an 'owed' read. The title, 'Shag Pile Toilet' and the book-cover, picture of said toilet, had me expecting poorly written and probably vulgur, unfunny comedy.
I would suggest you change both, and keep the story unchanged. The style is easy and natural, the humour an intrinsic part of the narrative, and based on truth - the best sort of humour. I found no typos in the three chapters I read.
Most enjoyable and to be backed. Marj.

Al Penwasser wrote 521 days ago

Thanks much! I'm just now starting to think about a sequel-eventually we'll get to your time (I have another one planned for after that with the same characters). I noticed no books from you.... I'll be happy to read anything you have!

DRay wrote 521 days ago

Before my time but this is funny stuff. The wife (Becca) said I might like this and i am happy to give support to it.

Lara wrote 587 days ago

I enjoyed this. it took me into a world I have no knowledge of at all. The characters were rich and totally believable. They could be your mates sitting around you. I was almost reminded of Annie Proulx's world. Good stuff. Backed
Lara
Good for Him
(This world about as far from yours as possible)

Al Penwasser wrote 597 days ago

Thank you very much! I will definitely have another look at the kids. You're right. Lighthearted banter is a kind of a disconnect. Plus, if there is a small amount of pathos in the beginning (I really like your allusion to Macbeth!), the story which follows will be that much more of a contrast. Thanks again. Al

Bocri wrote 598 days ago

Shag Carpet Toilet is competently written with direct, succinct economical prose while still retaining graphic power. The story is revealed at the optimum pace and does not deviate. I had read several pages before I realised that something appeared lacking - emotion. The actions of both children seem to be admirably controlled, workmanlike and even light hearted despite the recent loss of their father. While not advocating pathos, drama or Macbeth hand wringing the infusion of some adjectives and adverbs of a 'sad' nature would provide a more rounded element to the characters. Despite this comment the work is substantial and has potential. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Tim Andrewartha wrote 599 days ago

I read the prologue. The opening paragraph is written well & describes a nice scene. The situation with the man lighting up where he shouldn't is very dramatic and grabbed my attention. The stories that the kids find sound interesting. I'm impressed with what I've read. I'm happy to back this.

Al Penwasser wrote 600 days ago

Thanks very much! I'll fix the obvious and mull over the not-quite-so-obvious. I appreciate the feedback.

LonnieNonnie wrote 600 days ago

I like books about real people, and there is much in the opening page to show me you are a writer. However there are too many careless mistakes, and to some degree, verbiage. In fact a lot of tedious mistakes and it detracts from the flow of your story. Nitpicks as follows, 'Nothing could resist the this irresistible outward creep. Possibly too much, good opening until that sentence. Holy cow left hanging there, I think put in 3 * to denote scene change on first page, otherwise is confusing. Florid expression?? Incorrect, I would think.. Coalesced..? Etc - too flowery too often. (Like me and 'verbiage' :) Your style is easy and hiccups only when you try to hard. Just tell it, you're doing fine, in my humble opinion. The title is different, cutesy, but could possible prevent people from reading on. Explained by the pitch though, so, perhaps it works well? Definitely a title one remembers. In the pitch, there are a lot of books on this site that reminisce about this or that, a few from this era that I have seen. Perhaps a line or two to indicate why this book is different. And they are all different. Hope this helps. The Tails of Willie Gusty

Al Penwasser wrote 606 days ago

Thanks very much. Chapter 7 will be very easy to fix. I definitely agree that two "outs" in one short sentence is unacceptable. I'll look at the Prologue real close and will make any changes necessary. Thanks again!

Suzanne Adams wrote 606 days ago

Shag Carpet Toilet - whoever thinks up a title like that deserves to have a hit work! And yes it is very entertaining - one is quickly hooked in and happily reads on. However, I think some careful editing is needed. I did find that I had to read the opener several times in order to understand the timescale and by giving Michael Donnovan a Jnr I found very confusing! Stuff like in In chap 7 - I thought I'd air it out before Mrs Spinelli and I head out ...Two outs in one short sentence! I strongly recommend that you read through the whole aloud, as for an audio book, and you will soon understand where to make changes. But every good luck with this Kenneth it is worth going the extra mile for.

Al Penwasser wrote 610 days ago

Thanks, Wilma. I'll be setting aside some time this evening and will give Liam Riley a look. Looking forward to it. I appreciate your comments about the first part of SCT. I toyed with Mickey's demise in several ways before I decided on what actually happened. It was my intention for the first bit to be a downer before I launched into the "meat" of the book. The only problem is that I seemed to have painted myself into a corner with Mickey and Spags-they both ultimately die. Luckily, though, I still have their high school and early adult years to write about. Plus, I've tossed around the idea of a "prequel" which tells the story of their early years at Saint Stanislaus. The good news is that, by the time I get around to writing THOSE, I'll probably be dead myself! Thanks again for reading!
Al/Ken

Wilma1 wrote 611 days ago

Your first chapter threw me with the description of the fire and how the father died I was expecting a different kind of read after that. The discovery of the drawings and stories was excellent its always good to find somethning good left behind after a death. Then the book morph's into something much litghter. This is a story the moves and evolves and that coupled with the excellent 'Demand Attention Cover' makes it worth reading. I liked all of the different elements and I hope this does well for you.

Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley - I hope you find it an enjoyable read

Eunice Attwood wrote 612 days ago

Absolutely delightful. What a natural, easy flow you have with your writing. Wonderful humour on display, along with a great imagination. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Despinas1 wrote 614 days ago

Dear Kenneth
Your novel Shag Carpet Toilet is so original, its bound for greatness and success. I wish you the best of luck with it, although strangely I doubt you will need it.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

CarolinaAl wrote 615 days ago

Very fresh. Very imaginative. A hysterical story. Endearing characters depicted with skill and keen observation. Snappy dialogue. Effective narrative. Vivid sense of place/time. A compelling storyline. Clever wit. Impressive writing. A fun read. Backed

Walden Carrington wrote 615 days ago

Kenneth,
Shag Carpet Toilet is an amusing story which is sure to appeal to young readers and older folks with fond memories of their early years. Backed with pleasure.

SusieGulick wrote 615 days ago

You are totally fantastic, Al! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book. :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Al Penwasser wrote 616 days ago

Huzzah! Lincoln and Grant would be right at home with Mickey and Spags! In fact, as I was reading about the brothers, I kept picturing how they would be right at home with the kids from Saint Stanislaus. What a good read. Thanks for sharing. Backed without hesitation.
Al/Ken

Gary Wedlund wrote 616 days ago

Excellent view of the everyday. Nice to take a romp back into time. Nice place to visit, but I sure as hell didn't much like living there. The descriptiveness here is first rate. I'm backing it, and hoping you get a chance to read mine in return. If not, still good stuff. Keep up the good work.

Backed

Gary

Niobrara Kardnova wrote 617 days ago

I love what I've read of this! Of course, I'm from approximately the same age group as Mickey, so the nostalgia resonates. Still, it was a time when the real world was all we had, wasn't it? Where weirdness and characters blossomed without the tempering and homogenizing influence of virtual friends and internationally shared experiences. I like the way you introduce the story--Mickey's kids poking through his stuff trying to get a hold on his essence and uncovering Shag Carpet Toilet in the process. I even share the same seemingly neurotic suspicions Mickey was experiencing just before his appropriately designed demise--watching out for one careless idiot while another out-of-control moron bears down on him from another direction--great irony! Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Sharon.v.o. wrote 617 days ago

Nicely, done. I was actually born, in 1972 and so was a teenager in the 80's but apart for the big hair (um, very big hair) I had no problem relating.
Backed.
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

missyfleming_22 wrote 617 days ago

I really enjoyed this, it's a great coming of age tale and regardless of when we grew up, I think there are a lot of people out there who can relate to this! You've got a great writing style, really a pleasure to read, it flows and gives the reader just the right amount of information. Characters, dialogue and setting are all wonderful, I couldn't find anything that didn't work for me while I read. Keep up the good work!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Bonzo147 wrote 618 days ago

A little different to growing up at the same age in Scotland, no, a lot different. More freedom, more attitude and a great read. Very visual. Happy to back...
Angus Shoor Caan

Al Penwasser wrote 618 days ago

Thanks, GK! I'm looking forward to having a look at CBGB.
I don't know what it is about Connecticut, either. The funny thing is that most (not all) of SCT is based on things which really happened. My father DID cover the toilet in shag, we DID put a bee in one of our nun's sandwiches, our altar boys DID go to Playland every year, and there really WAS a fart-lighting contest at summer camp. A few of the names are real (I won't say which), but there never was anyone named Mickey, Spags, or Donny Brooks. An interesting aside....in the school where I work, I picked up a worksheet from the floor this morning. The name on it? Michael Donovan! Plus, within 15 minutes of where I live (not CT), there is a parochial school called Saint Stanislaus.
Thanks again!

Strayer wrote 618 days ago

You captured the time well. The father as fixer upper was done particularly well.
Mike is a comfortable character to read. God luck with this.

Andrew Burans wrote 619 days ago

You have written a very interesting, humourous and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Mickey. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

GK Stritch wrote 619 days ago

Dear Kenneth C. Lynch,

Let me pull on my Bullwinkle baseball cap and have a read of Shag Carpet Toilet. Mom was right and saved you from the stanky old dirty public schools. I’d have taken the Irish-accented Slovak and the Ed Asner look alike with the unibrow rather than “four more years” of a school without mirth. Why does Connecticut seem so much more wholesome, than, say, New Jersey? Notice there is no Housewives of Connecticut or Connecticut Shore polluting the airwaves. Ken, great fun 70s ride.

Best wishes and backed…happy to know that when the list on Authonomy grows gloomy the reader can return to Shag Carpet for giggles.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Al Penwasser wrote 619 days ago

Thanks, Stewart, One of the biggest realities of my writing is keeping it succinct. In other words, I never had a problem meeting a teacher's word count expectations. Saying in 10 words (instead of 100) was always a problem. In fact, I probably did it again with my reply to you!

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 620 days ago

I found the prologue unnecessarily long-winded but the writing is solid and I will read more later
Cheers
Stewart

Jennifer Gracen wrote 620 days ago

Hi,

I'm new here too, I just joined yesterday. Saw you on another thread, saying you'd just joined too, and you sounded friendly, so I thought I'd go check out your page.
Read one chapter of your story, and I'm in. I backed your book. Looking forward to reading more.

Good luck! Hope we both find good things here in the Authonomy world... :)

Jennifer Gracen
Affair At The Manor

Al Penwasser wrote 620 days ago

Thanks! I really appreciate the comment about putting thoughts in quotes or italics. I never knew that, but it makes perfect sense. Also about the pitch-I think I can easily adjust. Tonight is my "reading" night. I'm looking forward to reading other people!

I love this, maybe partly because I graduated high school in 1968, but also because your characters ring true, the story is amusing and clever, and you write very well. Absolutely great title as well. I do think the pitch would be mre catchy if there is some reference to finding Micky's story.. And one small nit: thoughts should be in quotes or in italics. I like italics because it sets thougts apart from speech, but either is okay. Backed, and staying on my WL for further perusal. :-)

SingingOwl wrote 620 days ago

I love this, maybe partly because I graduated high school in 1968, but also because your characters ring true, the story is amusing and clever, and you write very well. Absolutely great title as well. I do think the pitch would be mre catchy if there is some reference to finding Micky's story.. And one small nit: thoughts should be in quotes or in italics. I like italics because it sets thougts apart from speech, but either is okay. Backed, and staying on my WL for further perusal. :-)

Christian Piatt wrote 621 days ago

Kenneth:
Though this predates me only by a couple of years, your story takes me right back to my childhood in the seventies. You capture the images and ethos well. A fun, interesting read.
Best of luck with your book. BACKED.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

Barry Wenlock wrote 622 days ago

Hi Kenneth, you have chosen a good narrative style to tell your tale. When I read your pitch, I expected a dull exposition, an autobiography that read like a boring diary of events. But not at all. Your characters shine for the page (screen) and the idea of the kids searching through their father's odds and bits is brilliant. Rachel and Brandon's dad's death at the petrol station is well done -- the tanker took me by surprise the same as it did Mike and the man with the cigarette.
I'm looking forward to reading more 'his' of book, which continues the lively style with lots of amusing dialogue.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

name falied moderation wrote 622 days ago

Dear Kenneth



I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. such talent you have to create a compelling read for me. I also believe your long pitch sells your book well. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more.

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
Denise
The Letter

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 622 days ago

Dear Kenneth,
Coming from Massachusetts, I know Cumberland Farms well! I like your level of detail - you describe but don't go overboard with too much. Nice style!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

drachat wrote 622 days ago

Wow, this is so much better than I imagined. I laughed the whole way through Ch 3 and will finish in the next few days.

I love the bumblebee in the tuna and all the hysterical hijinxs of your youth. My brother went to Fairfield Prep for Freshman-Junior year and then transferred to Amity; for many of the same reasons you joke about.

You weave your story superbly and I feel this is publish worthy as is and would buy this in a minute!

I'll comment when I finish it.

Most deserved of my backing
Denise

Suzalex wrote 622 days ago

Geat humor . . . hell, even your "about me" struck my funnybone. Well done.

By the way, nice work on the dialogue.

Suz

Al Penwasser wrote 623 days ago

Thanks, Paula. I fixed it. You are absolutely right and I'm a little embarrassed that that never occurred to me.
I'll do quite a bit of reading this weekend!

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 623 days ago

Fascinating, as we read on, we develop an understanding of the father with the story and the subtle humour keeps us reading too. Not sure about "The mountain yawned skywards" though. A chasm or crevice can 'yawn' but not a mountain. You should do very well with this. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

corichaffee wrote 623 days ago

Funny smelling balloons? Oh my gosh- -too funny. I love love love your witty writing style. I only meant to read a little, to see if i wanted to WL this one, and ended up reading through chapter two.

I'm not usually a fan of grammar like 'Whatzit", but you make it work. Your writing is smart and sharp. Love it! I am shelving this-- and I can't wait to read the rest of it!! Great work!

If you get a chance, I would be honored if you would take a look at my book, Princess. It's a Young Adult novel- and not funny like yours, but you might enjoy it. I would appreciate any input and/or backing that you would like to offer.

Thanks!
Warm regards,
Cori

BJ Otto wrote 623 days ago

thoroughly enjoyable read, love the snippets of humour popping out here and there. Backed.

J.S.Watts wrote 623 days ago

I love the opening larva mountain that then tumbles from high drama into domestic rubbish and likewise the mundaneness of the mildly annoyed middle aged man at the petrol pump that explodes into life changing drama.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Jack Hughes wrote 623 days ago

A good humoured nostalgic story from the age before disco! Nice writing and some lovely descriptions, a great piece of writing (in spite of how old it makes me feel!).

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

celticwriter wrote 623 days ago

Hi Kenneth, well, I started smiling while reading your first line. Fun stuff! Nice consistent story flow. You do justice to the genre. Backed.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

KW wrote 623 days ago

I thought only the parents of an old friend of mine from high school were crazy enough to have shag carpet in their bathroom. Wow, shag carpet - just brimming with tiny creepy crawlies. Anyway, the sudden death of Mike is an eye opener. It makes me wonder how my children would have to hassle with going through all the crap that my wife and I have accumulated through the years; especially, the unpublished novels and short stories I have written. I'd love the have the "Bullwinkle the Moose baseball cap." I love the way you start this and I love the title. I'll read some more when I get a little time. Backed for more. By the way, Keith Richards may be a good health teacher since he is still living or just an example of miracles.

lizjrnm wrote 623 days ago

This is an entertaining read so far. Easy to back and love the title - get some decent cover art and nine out of ten readers will pick this up.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Neville wrote 623 days ago

Hi Kenneth, what I like about your book is your talent for description.
Its a great read with humour dotted about here and there.
Excellent characters and voice to it. Loved the prologue.
Backed with pleasure.SHELVED.

Would be pleased if you could take a look at my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest - Series)

SusieGulick wrote 623 days ago

Dear Kenneth, I love your story :) - wondering if it's true? :) Brought back a lot of memories of going through my parents stuff after they died & wonder if my kids are going to be going through my stuff when I die & if it will all be thrown out? :) Your story sure triggered a lot of emotions in me :) - & even tears. ;( Your pitch & introduction drew me in to read about Mickey. :) Tight dialogue & paragraphs made for a quick read. :) Great write. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

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