The Fostered Five

Thanks really appreciate it. I need to get back from holibobs and stat writing it again now

Steve

What a coooool start. 5 kids with abilities and connections and they are all been left alone. Love how you started it and described a little about each kid and then you went into the story. I LOVED that beginning. Sure I thought the ending could have been trimmed a little and a possible change from one to two chapters but it was so intriguing that I didn't care. You writing was spot on for middle school and you have a good sense of how to make a scene and create a nice atmosphere for the kids. But you don't go too far. 6 stars. One thing you might want to take a look at is really go in to detail about all their parents deaths.

the overall writing style and flow are all here: lt would be a good idea to give a good read over and tweak here and there. other than that the basic story is interesting; l shall put this on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Have Watchlisted you will do when I have caught up with things been snowed in with no Mac!!!!!

Hi. I read a little from The Fostered Five, enough to enjoy the voice. I’m backing it and will return, when I have some time, for a more profound comment.
Could you please take a look at mine?
Dan

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes:

The backgrounds of the kids were great. Stories in themselves.


This is a nice 1st paragraph. Cut just right for your audience

I'm 4 paragraphs in and keep thinking. Yes, my students would read this. the right amount of details, easy language, interesting subject

"You'll catch your death" the irony is great .."funeral"

The tension built around Richardson is great

Contrast that with "nervous flyer", well set up

This is exciting. You really deliver on this crash. The dialogue keeps the pace

There's a camaraderie between Frank and Ken that make this scene

began to dance...

I got a couple thoughts to put in your messages

Many thanks for the kind words. Please tell your friends to pop and have a look every little helps. Thanks

Steve

I went for the second chapter of the second book--for symmetry. I know a lot of girls like Christine. I was brought back to The Outsiders--an American teen classic--when I hit that paragraph about the mum's death/Grant. As I finished the chapter, I couldn't help but think of S.E. Hinton (author of The Outsiders). Every kid I know loves that book--so this is a good thing for you.I think this is the type of story kids are hungry for.

Thanks. I hope to be able to log on too tonight. Bit busy at work

Steve

I like the opening chapter. Lots of action, confusion.

I'd like to suggest that you break the last paragraph in two, so the reader's transition to the farmer is clearer.

That was as far as I was able to get as real world is calling, but based on pitch and opening chapter, I would continue. I will back from home tonight.

Wendy
January Black

Thanks. Appreciate your backing. I will check you out next time I am on line for any length of time bit busy at work

Steve

Many thanks appreciated. The idea is the main thing as you know. So fingers crossed

Steve

I think this story has enormous potential, and only hope you can find someone to help you with the technical aspects of writing. There are too many errors at this stage, but I can see it as a children's TV series, and I do wish you success. Marj.

I hadn't even noticed I had 2 of your books on my WL, but I must say, your writing style impresses me.
This is an original story line which I found intriguing. Another 'hit' in the making. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Thanks for this. i will check you out.

Steve

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and your work is character rich with the Fostered Five teenagers. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your work will appeal to the youth audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Thanks, hope you enjoy.

You are setting this up well and introducing the characters to your audience. I need to read more before I can comment on pace, style etc but you seem to know what you are doing.

Thanks. Go further than the opening, it gets better. I think!!!

Many thanks really appreciated. Makes me want to finish it now.

Thanks for this. Feel free to use it when I finish it!!!

I have taught English for a lot longer than I would want to admit and I can tell you that if something of this quality had come across my desk I would certainly have been happy to use it.

You do not make the mistakes that most do in aiming for the YA audience. Most condescend and offer nothing of a mature read but you treat your prospective audience as the sophisticated readers that they are and they will appreciate that.

This would have been great for me to teach from as it is a quality write but they would also have enjoyed it so it would have been easy to get them to read.

BACKED

Hi Stephen (The Fostered Five)
I know YA readers who would really go for this book. A very well written book, great characters and a great plot. I'm BACKING this book and you have all my best wishes.

Frank James (The Contractor)

The fostered five
Intersting pitch and the opening is well written too
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Dear Stephen
Talent and skill have been shown with this book for sure. I have to wonder on this site at the creations that come from peoples heads and of course the immense talent of those like yourself to animate such colorful characters. I truly wish I had half your talent. I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha!

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Suzie. Thanks for stopping by The Fostered Five has only been up five minutes! Glad you liked it. I have put up the first 10,000 words to see if people thought I should finish it. I will pop over and have a look at yours.

Dear Steve, I love most of all, the list of items Nick names :) - I couldn't help but laugh. :) What a bonus in my read. :) Your pitch was excellent, wanting to know what would happen with these 4 kids as the went to rescue the 5th one. :) It was good that you had their names, ages, & histories to orient me. :) I love you story. :) I've backed this & your other book. :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Love, Susie :)