Gone

Thank you.

Thanks for contacting me. I've backed your book as it has a fascinating start. I'm not entirely sure about the short paras but am old fashioned. Kop - The Lucky Bean Tree.

Thanks for contacting me. I've backed your book as it has a fascinating start. I'm not entirely sure about the short paras but am old fashioned. Kop - The Lucky Bean Tree.

Thank you very much.

This is intriguing. It raises a lot of questions, and is surely one of those books that will stay in the mind for a long time after reading. Backed.

This is intriguing. It raises a lot of questions, and is surely one of those books that will stay in the mind for a long time after reading. Backed.

This is such an intriguing story, so compelling. Enough hint is given at the beginning to give the reader a good start to guess what is going on, and just enough to keep us turning the pages. It's clearly a complicated story about human emotion, the tough stuff. All human emotion is complicated, but this love/resentment. I think it's not hate, but I can see the dilema. Fabulous writing, I saw nothing at all to criticize. My only thought, and it was an initial reaction which I'm unsure relates the more I read, regards the first passage. It's held apart from the story and so sets the tone. I think it is referring to the visit of the day before. I wondered at first if it was necessary, but by the time I got to the bottom of chapter one, I realized there was sort of this full circle thing going on. It relates to the woman herself as well as the things she's witnessed and experiences. I'm shelving this of course, and wish you well with this. I think it's remarkable. Truly remarkable.

Thanks very much, Mazza, I'm glad you liked it. And yes, constructive criticism is always good. Unfortunately, I cannot change anything as it is published with an ISBN and would cost a fortune to put right! I have to say that I'm happy with the way it is though I take your comments on board and maybe in the future I'll be able to 'tweak' it.

And thanks for popping it on your bookshelf - a compliment indeed.

Regards

Julie

Hi Julie!

Read the first 2 chapters - I WILL be reading on!

Found a couple of things that I think would look better if altered:

1) I think there are a few too many commas. The general rule seems to be less is more and editors apparently hate overuse in everything these days!
2) Inflate like a steel wall? Maybe find something to replace inflate?
3) A conundrum that could never be answered might sound better if you replace answered with solved.
4) Some descriptions sounded a little overused and they say editors hate that too.

My favourite line in this was: More confidence than a cocked hat - absolutely loved that!

As for the story itslef: I was thrilled that your main character is a larger lady. What a breath of fresh air!

The descriptions of the chocolate cravings are spot on and the anguish felt by Charley is is very touching - even to a childless person.

The storyline: Fresh and and exciting - I love things that toush on other concepts of afterlife.

I hope that my crtitcal comments don't disillusion you. I think this is so far a gripping tale which I am keen to continue reading at leisure!

It's on the shelf.

All the best.

Mazza

Hi Julie!

Read the first 2 chapters - I WILL be reading on!

Found a couple of things that I think would look better if altered:

1) I think there are a few too many commas. The general rule seems to be less is more and editors apparently hate overuse in everything these days!
2) Inflate like a steel wall? Maybe find something to replace inflate?
3) A conundrum that could never be answered might sound better if you replace answered with solved.
4) Some descriptions sounded a little overused and they say editors hate that too.

My favourite line in this was: More confidence than a cocked hat - absolutely loved that!

As for the story itslef: I was thrilled that your main character is a larger lady. What a breath of fresh air!

The descriptions of the chocolate cravings are spot on and the anguish felt by Charley is is very touching - even to a childless person.

The storyline: Fresh and and exciting - I love things that toush on other concepts of afterlife.

I hope that my crtitcal comments don't disillusion you. I think this is so far a gripping tale which I am keen to continue reading at leisure!

It's on the shelf.

All the best.

Mazza

Julie. Really glad I got a chance to read Gone. I absolutely adore books that study the world of the MC from an internal perspective and elements of this really gave me goosebumps. I loved the description of the rush of emotion she felt looking at the unicorn picture, and the memories that it unleashed. Brilliant.

I think Charley is an excellent MC and I liked the opening into the story. You show her complexities - the guilt over the chocolate for example - very well. The hints about Jennifer worked well and really kept me questioning who, whys etc which is exactly what you want at that stage.

Loved the dialogue with Harry (although you do switch to his POV as she walks away - not sure if this is intentional but it did jar with me as everything before and after was in her POV) Think the dialogue with Anne could be trimmed, as it failed to progress the story and this early in the book seemed over-written.

I think this is an emotive subject that you handle well. And I think it's a subject and genre that a lot of people will want to read about. You've a great style and gift of storytelling. I really enjoyed the opening chapters and happy to shelve you. Well done!

Thank you very much for your comments. Yes, the switch in POV is intentional, as it shows that something is going to happen. The dialogue with Anne is also intentional, as it gives Charley background /character insight. (And I do think sometimes that it's important to know how others are thinking /feeling in books - The Star Realm, for example has five major characters and POV switches all the time - I think it works but then that is only my POV, lol)

Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it - but no, I cannot change things anyway as it is published and would cost too much...

But it's a story like no other and will certainly make people think differently.

Thanks again - I'll look at yours more when life calms down a little! I had a peek and I love the 'action'. It'll be on my watchlist /bookshelf when I rotate.

Julie

Julie. Really glad I got a chance to read Gone. I absolutely adore books that study the world of the MC from an internal perspective and elements of this really gave me goosebumps. I loved the description of the rush of emotion she felt looking at the unicorn picture, and the memories that it unleashed. Brilliant.

I think Charley is an excellent MC and I liked the opening into the story. You show her complexities - the guilt over the chocolate for example - very well. The hints about Jennifer worked well and really kept me questioning who, whys etc which is exactly what you want at that stage.

Loved the dialogue with Harry (although you do switch to his POV as she walks away - not sure if this is intentional but it did jar with me as everything before and after was in her POV) Think the dialogue with Anne could be trimmed, as it failed to progress the story and this early in the book seemed over-written.

I think this is an emotive subject that you handle well. And I think it's a subject and genre that a lot of people will want to read about. You've a great style and gift of storytelling. I really enjoyed the opening chapters and happy to shelve you. Well done!

Hi Julie, what a fascinating concept here with a powerfully emotional core. I'm also a great fan of things written from the internal perspective of the main characters - and it's entirely fitting to the subject matter, although I'd take care to make sure there's just one POV character per scene. Some wonderful evocative turns of phrase - just the occasional one that could be more effective with a minor trim: e.g. 'Cold rushed into every pore like an Arctic storm' would be my preference, instead of the 'as would'. But other than very minor points like that, this strikes me as a brave and - as your pitch mentions - captivating foray into a potentially difficult realm, and so far it seems to me you handle it with just the right degree of sensitivity without overly piling on the sentiment - that is, you're not telling the reader how to feel, just leaving the writing to do its work and us to make up our own minds - or perhaps 'hearts' would be the better term. Well done.

Hi Julie
How fascinating! It's great to see another book tackling the death angle. No wonder I was drawn in. I really like the fact that you don't see it as scary either. I read 3 chapters and this is the type of book which does offer hope and comfort. Writing about universal themes ensures a readership. I was very curious to read this.
Re style, just a couple of points. In ch one you switched pov to the old man in the store (sorry can't remember his name), but the rest of it is from Charley's pov, so not sure about this. This is the kind of comment which is ALWAYS pointed out to me!
You write very internally, i.e., a lot of Charley's inner thoughts, sometimes I think you could balance this out with more external action too - this is the narrative which drives a story forward. Though I do love the inner thoughts, don't get me wrong, it suits this type of book.
Overall, I love the message so will bookshelve it on my rotating space. I adore books which offer a ray of hope to the reader (that's my aim too so we think alike.)
Hannah

Julie, thank you for your comments on Evil. (Actually it's my other book Kip Doodle that's most in search of comments right now, but all feedback is welcome in any case :-) ) I will of course return the favour of a read as soon as I can, but which of your books would you prefer I read?

Thanks, Julie, but I'm itching to get back to writing now, and can't face another month of plugging, so I'm backing off. It's a huge relief. I know there are lots of people who like C&C now, and that has been the best thing. Thanks so much for your support, and I'm sure Gone will do really well.
Nicky
C&C

The word stubby was only the start. I later found frolics and foolery. This is very interesting, this book. I like the way it is written and I would like to have been able to read more. I shall put it on my bookshelf anyway, and you must tell me if you upload any more.

lol - thanks so much, Nicky...having no time to keep up with all the to /fro on this site, I don't think Gone will rise much in the ranking.

I understand about being snowed under...prioritising is essential - I have to be careful not to be consumed with forums etc. (as much as I like talking to people and reviewing though I don't really like the 'promoting' despite my belief in my work) because writing is my main passion and book four is taking a long long time but I love 'being in the zone' as they say.

Thank you for your kind comments - I certainly think that Gone is different from any other book as it was inspired by something unusual, if tragic and a worthwhile read. I'm very pleased with the reviews I've received so far on Lulu /other places.

Pleasure to back such a great piece of writing- it's definitely on my list to buy when it's available.

Julie

Hello Julie,
I'm so snowed under with my reading that it may take a while to get to sample Gone properly , but I have quickly shelved it anyway. (Can't have you in that 285 position!) Good luck, the plot looks excellent. Thanks so much for backing me.
Nicky
(Chickens and Churchbells)

I'll watchlist anyone who uses the word 'stubby'. I'll try to read more tomorrow.

Hello Julie, Many, many thanks for dropping by and reading C&C. I really appreciate your comments and backing, that was very kind of you. I have added Gone (didn't know which book to choose!) to my overloaded watch list, and promise to get back to you as soon as I can.
Nicky
(Chickens and Churchbells)

Hi, the pitch me section is at the bottom of the books page. You enter your chosen genre and just keep hitting 'again' until it shows something which appeals to you. Hope this helps, jak

Glad to have been of help. R

Dear Julie,

Yes, the FAQs aren't very clear. Once you put a book on your shelf, the vote endures forever. The 30-day chart just measures votes cast in the last 30 days. The Ed Desk is an all-time chart, with the previous top 5 people removed (where we are now, heading towards the section of the third batch of top 5, the Ed Desk is all-time votes minus ten books, because two lots of top 5 have been chosen).

Hope this is clear enough to help with all your selction issues.

R

Dear Julie,

Thanks for your kind remarks about Bee Bones. I don't suppose you'd consider awarding it even a passing bookshelf space (it counts even if it's only for 1 second). Thanks again.

R

Hi Julie, many thanks for reading a bit of Sim and taking the time to write such helpful comments. I'm sorry to learn that you've had a ;lousy experience here. What ever is to be gained by such plagiarism - what pleasure could be had from success in this way? Anything you could do for Sim would be wonderful - though the really good thing about Authonomy for me is regaining confidence as a writer through feedback such as yours Jak

Dear Julie,

Didn't realise that Gone was one of those you already had up on Lulu. In that case, you can't really do any edits.

Hope you get time to read BB.

R

thought I'd left a comment here before but I don't see one. this is an intriguing story that I am planning to read properly over the next few days (nudge me if I don't get back soon). judging by your pic and your subject matter I think you might like my book too. Ali.

Dear Julie,

I've read all four chapters you have put up here, and find this totally fascinating. I like the underlying tension and questions, and I think the narrative flows. I can't think of a single awkward passage. I do thin it needs a bit of an edit, but what doesn't? I'm putting this on my rotating bookshelf. Good luck.

R

Hi Julie,
Came across this on the 'pitch me' section and was hooked by your excellent pitch. I only mean't to read one chapter but I found your approach so interesting that i've read and enjoyed three. At firdst I found the questions a little intrusive but then their relentless building of the rhythm drew me in and set the pace very effectively> At points, i found the first chapter a bit like reading narrative poetry as the cadences were so unusual. There were also brilliant touches throughout. I particularly liked the chocolate interchange with the undercurrents of drug dealing- tremendous idea. (In my book, chocolate is illegal in the first world but i don't think this comes through clearly enough in my text) There are slso terrific phrase such as 'Pushing yesterday's visit into the dark place' and 'she'd plunged straight into a cliche.' very adroit and clever. I'll be back for more and have watchlisted 'Gone.' 'jak

Dear Julie, thanks for adding BB to your watchlist. I'll hopefully get round to Gone tonight or tomorrow moring. R

Dear Julie,

Have added Gone to my watchlist. R

Thanks for the info.

No problem, Sean - it's back! A good tip to remember.

Greetings Julie!
I understand that if you remove your chapters in order to reorganise them your book falls off all the bookshelves that it was on! It’s really infuriating and I think it happened to me yesterday. There was certainly a glitch.

I wonder if you could put Lust Orders! back on your shelf if you were indeed one of the thirteen who had backed it. Many thanks indeed.

Best,
Sean

This is a fascinating and very thought provoking story from a wonderful new author. You follow the journey of Charley a middle aged woman who has suffered great tragedy through out her life but just after achieving a successful new contract for her business is struck down by a heart attack. From here we are led of a exciting and sometimes confusing journey through what we suppose maybe the afterlife, yet still the question nags is she really dead is this all real or has the character lost her mind and we are travelling through the deluded mind of a mad woman.
As we travel questions are answered as more questions seem to surface as Charley finds strengths she never knew she had and we the reader see the world from a new perspective. A truly great read that all fantasy fans should find a really break from the usual run of the mill scifi fantasy genre but still is filled with the wonder of other realms.

Julie, good morning, and thank you so much for the kind comments re: Lust Orders! It makes writing it all the more worthwhile when others enjoy the work.

As for which to post replies on - to be honest, I'm not sure. Try them both!

Again, many thanks and good luck with 'Gone.'
Best,
Sean

Well, thank you, Sean. If you read it to the end, you'd never think the same again! lol

Julie, on the basis of what I've read thus far, I am bookshelving it. It's a great read.

Best,
Sean Cassidy
[Lust Orders!]

Thanks Julie. I do hope you enjoy it.

Samples of the work can be found here:
Samples of the writing can be found here:
http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/Posts.aspx?forumId=3&threadId=1135&pageNumber=3

Another here: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/Posts.aspx?forumId=3&threadId=1135&pageNumber=15

Best,
Sean

Hi, Sean

Good to meet another Lulu - ian! Thanks for your sentiments about Gone - if you do read it, it'll most definitely make you think differently.

Had a quick peek at Lust Orders - the first chapter - and I have to say I love the dry humour. When time allows I will certainly look at more, as it seems intriguing but for the moment I'm incredibly busy with my current novel (no 4), reviewing other books, editing a friend's 500 page novel, work and...the list is endless (I haven't even mentioned all the hateful household stuff!). Not excuses - facts! Your novel looks good though, I'm tempted.

Julie

Fascinating story line and I have listed it to read. I too have a novel published on Lulu. Please do take a look at Lust Orders! and tell me what you think, Julie. Good luck.

Sean Cassidy
[Lust Orders!]