The Elijah Factor

Len,

So far I've read chapter 1. I have this nasty habbit of shooting straight to the story without reading the pitch. It makes it so that I don't know exactly what the book I'm reading is about until I get there.

I like your descriptions and the main character and also the way you make me feel like I'm in an old flick as we ride in the car with him. Your introduction of the demons, whispering in his ear and breathing on his neck, is awsome too. This is a great opening chapter, especially because of the way that you ended it.

After I finished chapter 1 I went up and read the pitch. This is a great idea you had here and I can see your book being an extremely enjoyable read. You've been moved to the wl and I'll be back when I get time to read more.

Have a great day!

- Scott Toney, The Ark of Humanity

You have an interesting story. You've dated Jezebel back to 800 BC. I've never thought about her in that era. It makes sense. I hope you do well. It's creative in how you've introduced the novel by using an actual historical account and then to your main character in chapter one. I could sit down and enjoy this novel.

The blend of a biblical or otherwise foreordained event with a modern day countdown to disaster or Armageddon is always welcome. I have read several published versions that I have had to quit as they quite literally 'lost the plot'. You seem to have this running quite well. I will follow it right through. You add a welcome human touch to the tale. Not just a hero and a struggle to find some hidden truth but richly worked characters many with very human frailties and appearances. Goldfarb is certainly one and the nurses provide a good contrast. Good luck with it. I am happy to back it.

Roger John Gillespie
Seeker John.

This is positively something I would pick up at the book store or the library! You have successfully merged two themes/plots into one action-packed, fun-filled page-turner! I actually prefer your style of writing better than Ted Dekker! Really! Your style is so cohesive that I read the entire thing in one sitting and didn't even realize I'd done it!
More! More! :o)
Best Wishes,
Laura A. Diaz
"Come What May"

setting up to be a real pot boiler.

You need to start a story with action, not info-dump. Weave the two together. Action keeps reader interested, not info-dump. The first part of this is one long info-dump. Things don't get interesting until characters start talking.

just for the fact that it's about religion is what made me check this book. this is the davinci code in the making. And the way you started with the bitch of a jezebel.

This isn't something I would read but the writing is good. Backed.

Lacey

Thank you for kind comments and for backing the book. I've had your book on my bookshelf for a while now.

Thanks again,
Len

The blend of a biblical or otherwise foreordained event with a modern day countdown to disaster or Armageddon is always welcome. I have read several published versions that I have had to quit as they quite literally 'lost the plot'. You seem to have this running quite well. I will follow it right through. You add a welcome human touch to the tale. Not just a hero and a struggle to find some hidden truth but richly worked characters many with very human frailties and appearances. Goldfarb is certainly one and the nurses provide a good contrast. Good luck with it. I am happy to back it.

Roger John Gillespie
Seeker John.

You have an interesting story. You've dated Jezebel back to 800 BC. I've never thought about her in that era. It makes sense. I hope you do well. It's creative in how you've introduced the novel by using an actual historical account and then to your main character in chapter one. I could sit down and enjoy this novel.

This is an excellent story. It drew me in very quickly and kept my attention. I grew up in Georgia, which added to the interest. You do a good job of balancing narrative and dialogue. You do a great job developing the character of Dr. Goldfarb.

I noticed one editorial mistake in chapter 3. You write, "There is a few things I wanted to discuss with you." This should be "There are . . ."

I'm interested to see where this is going.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Thank you for your comments. I changed the entire sentence to make it sound a little more conversational, which also corrected that typo. Please let me know if you find other areas that need attention, and thank you for backing my book. I'll take a look at your shortly.

Sincerely,

Len

This is an excellent story. It drew me in very quickly and kept my attention. I grew up in Georgia, which added to the interest. You do a good job of balancing narrative and dialogue. You do a great job developing the character of Dr. Goldfarb.

I noticed one editorial mistake in chapter 3. You write, "There is a few things I wanted to discuss with you." This should be "There are . . ."

I'm interested to see where this is going.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Len,

So far I've read chapter 1. I have this nasty habbit of shooting straight to the story without reading the pitch. It makes it so that I don't know exactly what the book I'm reading is about until I get there.

I like your descriptions and the main character and also the way you make me feel like I'm in an old flick as we ride in the car with him. Your introduction of the demons, whispering in his ear and breathing on his neck, is awsome too. This is a great opening chapter, especially because of the way that you ended it.

After I finished chapter 1 I went up and read the pitch. This is a great idea you had here and I can see your book being an extremely enjoyable read. You've been moved to the wl and I'll be back when I get time to read more.

Have a great day!

- Scott Toney, The Ark of Humanity

Dear Len,
You're a very talented writer indeed. I think you work exudes originality and style. I wish you the best of luck and much success with The Elijah Factor.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Dear Len,
I read your first chapter. I like your storytelling talent! Your text has a nice flow. Elijah comes across as a real person. Small point you have a typo in the line that begins "You are nothing but a poor farmer." surly should be surely. Very nice writing!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Being very familiar with the history of this part of the globe for the last 6,000 years--I found the narrative fascinating. Seeing the choices you've made.

All sorts of ideas come to mind--controversies. You cannot help but be both political and theological in this novel.

Reading about Timothy in ch 12, made me think of my story--the two make an interesting juxtaposition.

This is awesome! Good solid scholarship that stirs the mind.

Best

Extremely thought-provoking and a very popular subject. You handle the opening very well but 'Prolouge' should be 'Prologue' This has huge potential and I will definitely come back to read more, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Fiction of this sort is very popular and it seems to me you have the making of a good story. The telling is straight forward and the story moves with a reasonable pace. A couple of observations you might like to consider:

--in the first chapter there's a lot of past-perfect tense, you probably don't need as many instances of 'had' as you has, once it's established something is back-story or flash-back you can usually revert to plain past tense;

--at the end of chapter twelve you 'the obligate work numbers', may be a regional thing, but I would say 'obligatory work numbers'; and

--you also refer to The University of Sheffield, back in the 80s I had a friend studying there and I'm pretty sure it was Sheffiled University (your version souns somehow American, but things may well have changed in the 20 odd years since I left the country)!

Anyway, lots of potential and backed for that potential.

Enjoyed the read and I am anxious to see how things turn out for robert.
-grace
a perfect life

I like a book that makes you think and yours really does that. You've taken on a subject that might not please a lot of people but you've written it in a fascinating and entertaining way. I liked your narrative voice, it's very vivid and engaging. This is an exciting read, as a thriller should be, and it kept me interested!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

A topic rich in controversy. I enjoy all Christian reads and will delve into this one.
Tom Balderston
The Wonderof Terra

The Elijah factor
You,ve an interesting pitch, and the opening is good
Backed
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Robert. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Dear Len,

Words may no be enough to explain my interest in this read Your premise was really exciting. My name is Elijah, a prophet of God, walking almost in the way of Elijah in Rome. 'The Elijah Factor.' Imaginative, descriptive and well written piece. I owe you my love. Goodluck.

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims of African Wealth)

Len,
I applaud your bravery in writing The Elijah factor. Reading the prolouge is like reading the Bible in modern-day language. The jump into the future in Chapter One is stunning. I love supporting books with a strong Christian message. Backed with enthusiasm.

elijah as a prophet then a factor i mean factor interesting.
the plot is chilling

Dear Len


I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published

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Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED FOR SURE BY ME
Denise
The Letter

Dear Len, I love how you started with when Elijah was on earth & then went to 2011 :) - that's pretty radical. :) Your premise was exciting & maybe you'll be like Joel Rosenberg & some may come true. :) Your pitch & prologue drew me in to read & tight dialogue & paragraphs moved your story quickly. :) Frank Peretti's "This Present Darkness" came to mind in the beginning of your story. :) Great write! :) "At the Name of Jesus every knee will bow." :) Hope you'll write a lot of books. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Thanks for reading the start of my book. It's in an unedited rough draft form now. I probably shouldn't have posted it until I'd given it a good reading for grammar errors first. Please hit me with whatever you think. I really need all the input I can get.

Thanks,
Len

:) comment to follow - read & comment on 1 hour later :)