Up The Moonlight Hill

Dear Ron, I had read & commented on your book, but I guess I forgot to hit "save" because I can't find it in your comments where I did it 11 days ago, an hour after I backed it. :) I loved Sunday's role with her parents & her love she received from them. Your pitch drew me in to read your story & your tight dialogue & paragraphs kept me reading, along with your wonderful storyline with a touch of fantasy. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

I enjoyed every line of all four chapters and only wish there was more. Please let us know when it's published so we can buy it. Having said that with the first chapter you might find half your male readership will faint, but who cares about a few sissies, eh? Characters all too human and Sunday wonderfully original, Dialogue authentic, language appropriate, more laughs a minute than I care to name, it's bound to succeed. Backing alone is not good enough Jaye Hill

Your narrative approach and dialogue is enchanting and I expect to keep reading. Some typos and grammar checks are needed, but a wonderful story freshly told.

Dear Ron - hilarious birth/baby awkwardness moments. The Dizzy Gillespie comparison was absolutely priceless. I very much liked your concept, too - Roald Dahl was very good at spinning marvellous stories out of things as ordinary as peaches and pennies, and that's fine company to keep. Excellent work

P

You are totally fantastic, Ron! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Your narrative approach and dialogue is enchanting and I expect to keep reading. Some typos and grammar checks are needed, but a wonderful story freshly told.

I really appreciate your comment! I revised it, but I expect to finish the first draft before I go back for editing!

Your narrative approach and dialogue is enchanting and I expect to keep reading. Some typos and grammar checks are needed, but a wonderful story freshly told.

I enjoyed every line of all four chapters and only wish there was more. Please let us know when it's published so we can buy it. Having said that with the first chapter you might find half your male readership will faint, but who cares about a few sissies, eh? Characters all too human and Sunday wonderfully original, Dialogue authentic, language appropriate, more laughs a minute than I care to name, it's bound to succeed. Backing alone is not good enough Jaye Hill

Dear Ron, I had read & commented on your book, but I guess I forgot to hit "save" because I can't find it in your comments where I did it 11 days ago, an hour after I backed it. :) I loved Sunday's role with her parents & her love she received from them. Your pitch drew me in to read your story & your tight dialogue & paragraphs kept me reading, along with your wonderful storyline with a touch of fantasy. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Hi there Ron (Up The Moonlight Hill

Again, not enough time to read all you uploaded. I'll do it in the next day or two. Some great writing, great characters, great plot and let's be honest, that's all a reader wants. I reckon this book could climb the greasy pole quite quickly. You have my best wishes and I'm BACKING your book and I have a spot for it on my shelf.

Frank James (The Contractor)

Backed Up The Moonlight. Well-written story! We love your characters, especially the doctor. We are happy to back you.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Very nice and well written. I shared with my wife the changing view Martin had of his wife as she went into labor (Satan's Spouse, Beast) and she informed me she would never want to marry a man that thought that way, but as a husband who has been through 4 deliveries (I guess my wife was there, too) I totally relate to Martin. Very nice indeed. Backed.

I would appreciate any comments you might have on my novel, Earth Reaver.
Herschel Shirley

The feather on the cover caught my eye...similar taste :) I enjoyed reading your pitch. It definitely sounds like an interesting story. happy to put it on the watch list. I plan on reading it within a day or so.

**Support Dani the Earth Angel**
Thanks

Up the moonlight hill
Well written piece of writing, not only written for young adults but fort adults too
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

I loved it. Your voice is very smooth and informative, without delivering backstory, like so many do on this site. Just one tiny nit: "where you can’t decided whether" should be "where you can't decide..." I'll back this with pleasure. Dave

Interesting childbirth scenerio told with much gusto and humor. Not sure why you are catagorizing your novel as young adult when it reads better as adult fiction. I don't know of too many young adults who will enjoy reading about childbirth, unless they are one of those young adults having children themselves before the age of 20, not something I would encourage.

Patricia
Super-Nature Heroes

Good writing, interesting style - I think your audience is more adult than young adult.

Lorraine
Mannin Boy

Ron,

Well, the first chapter is an interesting read--no sign of fantasy yet, but a dry wit throughout. Your Doctor is a great comedic character the whole child birth thing is well done.

The style is interesting, a little old-fashioned and, to my mind, more adult than YA, but I found it easy reading.

Backed

Hey Ron. The more I read, the more I'm sucked into your tale. Nice, consistent flow of words, and structure.

blessings,
jim

Hi Ron,
You are a keen observer, have a talent for satire and dialogue and manage to keep the world you are describing real albeit weird and entertaining throughout. Your writing has a good pace to it, and I was drawn into the story at once. I'm a little uncertain about your audience, though. I loved the opening chapter because of the back-and-forth between Martin and his wife and all of the silly, inconsiderate, panicky malperformances he endured, but I am a husband of many years. The next chapter put Sunday in a school setting--lampooned brilliantly--a situation to which all young adult readers could relate, but there was also a lot of educational theory described by Angus that would appeal to parents and teachers, but would young-adult readers appreciate it? Don't know, really. You'll have to test it out. Or maybe you are thinking of this as a book adults and kids read together? Anyway, whatever you decide, there is so much good material and good writing here that uou should be able to rearrange or edit the book to suit whatever audience you decide on. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Dear Ron,
What a delightful opening chapter! You didn't downplay the mystery of birth at all. I smiled through the whole thing. One tiny nitpick, a typo on the para beginning "Have you ever found yourself in a situtation..." should be "decide" not "decided". This is wonderful writing. I'm sure young adults will love the story, but as an adult I totally bonded with it too!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Hi Ron. Intriguing and distinctive, this has a lot going for it in the originality stakes, but I think that your target audience might want the story to get going more quickly. The quirky feel of this works for me and I tried not to get too hung up on the typos. An interesting place to leave it, at the end of chapter 4, just when things start to get going... I felt a little disappointed. KA.

I thought it was a bit slow, the pace is dictated by the story itself. I just write it down! I'm sorry to let you down at the end of Ch4, but this is the crucial point, the point-of-no-return, let's say!

Hi Ron. Intriguing and distinctive, this has a lot going for it in the originality stakes, but I think that your target audience might want the story to get going more quickly. The quirky feel of this works for me and I tried not to get too hung up on the typos. An interesting place to leave it, at the end of chapter 4, just when things start to get going... I felt a little disappointed. KA.

Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse reduces their effectiveness. Other than that, this is a thrilling, edgy fantasy. Fabulous attention to detail. Well imagined storytelling. Vivid, believable characters with tense relationships. Compelling dialogue. Clever wit. Intricate plot. A well-crafted wonder. Backed.

HI RON D.
UP THE MOONLIGHT HILL;

GRABS attention immediate as panic a Molly gives birth in the hous,Martin appeaars to be confused as most men are in similar situations
the story moves swiftly along from there and it is very interesting. it will appeal many, and will do well
BACKED
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please back mine if you like it

Backed this a day or so ago. Take a thorough look at your chapters for some of the typos I listed below. I didn't cite all of them, just a few from chapter 1. Sorry for the late comment, I hope my observations will be of use.

"Her waters (water) had broken."
" . . . and his glasses slept (slipped) down his nose."
" . . . a saucer paid the price of his heist." I don't believe heist is the word you intended. Martin didn't still anything. Perhaps haste would be a more accurate term.
"Have you ever find (found) yourself . . . where you can't decided (decide) . . ."

Good Luck
Natalie

I really appreciate your comment. At this early stage, there have to be a lot of typos! I corrected them and I continue to do so as I move on. Thanks again!

Backed this a day or so ago. Take a thorough look at your chapters for some of the typos I listed below. I didn't cite all of them, just a few from chapter 1. Sorry for the late comment, I hope my observations will be of use.

"Her waters (water) had broken."
" . . . and his glasses slept (slipped) down his nose."
" . . . a saucer paid the price of his heist." I don't believe heist is the word you intended. Martin didn't still anything. Perhaps haste would be a more accurate term.
"Have you ever find (found) yourself . . . where you can't decided (decide) . . ."

Good Luck
Natalie

My teaching experience gives me enough knowledge of the YA audience to tell you that this has the wow factor that they are looking for. They would also appreciate that you do not condescend to them and treat them as sophisticated readers instead.

BACKED

16 September 2010
The anxiety of an impending birth, the fazed male reaction to its immediacy when it starts and the panicked reaction of same male, whose last meaningful contribution was nine months previously, is brilliantly portrayed in the opening chapter. The prose is active and the dialogue has 'substance', that is, it is credible and moves the plot or action forward and the underlying humour is not strained. An enjoyable read. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

Good beginning, very descriptive and brings back memories of childbirth. Love the Satan's Spouse line! Brilliant.

Well-written and flows easily; happily backed
Denise

Would you mind taking a peek at my book "Road to Redemption: From Cop's Daughter to Convicted Felon?"

You've got something a little different here! And don't worry, for me that is a good thing. I like Sunday, she's odd but also a good thing, makes her more interesting. Love the name Sunday too. You've got a great idea here and you're executing it very well so far. I've got a good feel for the story already and I think it's moving along nicely. I can't wait to see where it goes from here!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Hi,
I’d be more than happy to back your book if you’ll take the time to check out my work. Thanks
Gefordson

Nothing You can do.

Hi Ron. I'm not a critic, just a scriptwriter, however I can spot a good story with good structure and a good visual flow. Nice story telling!

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

I thought this was a fun read.
Best of luck to you!
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

This is quite whacky. I hurtled through without noticing. Sunday is a very interesting sounding child. I think the voice is great, and the subject matter will really interest your target audience, and it' quirky; unusual. I wondered a little whether you needed the very extended part with the giving birth, before we get to actually meet Sunday. I think readers will be into it, but it was just a question that occurred to me as I read.

I'm not sure where it's going quite yet, but I'm enjoying the ride. I'm continuing to read - good sign. Have watchlisted you while I go on.
Polly
STONES.


Sunday 2 -- 'Sunday SMELL the air and frowned...' small typo.

Thank you for your kind words and recommendations. Typos are always a part of the game, especially for a non-native english speaker! Thanks for spotting them!
Stones looks like a candidate for my bookshelf! The pitch is great and quite promising! I'll return with comments!

This is quite whacky. I hurtled through without noticing. Sunday is a very interesting sounding child. I think the voice is great, and the subject matter will really interest your target audience, and it' quirky; unusual. I wondered a little whether you needed the very extended part with the giving birth, before we get to actually meet Sunday. I think readers will be into it, but it was just a question that occurred to me as I read.

I'm not sure where it's going quite yet, but I'm enjoying the ride. I'm continuing to read - good sign. Have watchlisted you while I go on.
Polly
STONES.


Sunday 2 -- 'Sunday SMELL the air and frowned...' small typo.

Excellent storyline, looking forward to more. Backed with pleasure. I will appreciate if you could take a moment to look at my book, First Cut.

Up The Moonlight Hill

Ron. D. Geysser

Nothing compares to a good inventive story for young people which will feed their imagination and hopefully, stimulate their own sense of creativity. As a reader and not a literary critic, I think you have a good, solid storyline and I enjoyed reading so far. "Murphy's first law states that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Educational as well. Good match for your target audience.

the basic premise is good. your pitch with this, and your writing, clear, making this book a treat for the eyes...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

This has the makings of a good read. Look forward to reading more and finding out what happens next. :)

Benjamin

Thank you very much for your constructive comment! You are right about the girl behind the counter but allow me to justify her age. Let me start by saying that she is a minor character and as such, her age is of little importance. I wanted a young person to give comfort and life to the scene, but with a bit more maturity. Twenty seemed OK for this purpose. Also, I couldn't imagine a fifteen or sixteen year old girl taking a full time job in a bookstore. Maybe be I'm influenced by the circumstances in my country and I should do a more extensive research on life in modern day London.
In any case, taking time to answer my request is a real help! Thank you again!
P.S: Fidelity has a scent of Dan Brown-which I like. Was he an influence?

Lovely cover and great pitch. An original storyline that shows what a talented writer you are. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

I checked out ch 3, as per your request. The prose is clean and easy. The dialogue advances the plot and reveals the characters. Sometimes it's missing proper punctuation. The story and premise held my interest. My only substantial critique is about the age of the "young girl behind the counter." Given your target audience, unless there is a compelling reason, she should be a teenager, right?

Excellent storyline with talenetd writing make this easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Sunday. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your work will appeal to the YA audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Dear Ron

I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published

.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED FOR SURE BY ME
Denise
The Letter

I think you are underestimating your skills! From the little I've read, you have a flow in your language only a native would have! Don't worry, it's great! Unfortunatelly, I can't back any book for the moment because my shelf is full. But I don't forget!

Lots of humour here and it is very well handled. Giving birth with a hapless man in attendance has been done many times but you have given it new life, well done. There a several minor typo's which need sorting so that you are seen in the best light so go through slowly checking for them. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Thank you for your kind comment! Each and every comment on mistakes I've done, minor or major, are precious to me! I follow the scheme Draft - Editing - Final, so all these typos will be fixed.

Lots of humour here and it is very well handled. Giving birth with a hapless man in attendance has been done many times but you have given it new life, well done. There a several minor typo's which need sorting so that you are seen in the best light so go through slowly checking for them. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear Ron

I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art of yours. I wish I had half of your talent. Where does one get such original work like this, such a gift. I feel sure you feel like me that it is your baby and you so want to see it succeed. I do wish you all the best in rising and also getting this book of your published

.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED FOR SURE BY ME
Denise
The Letter

Hi there, first of all let me commend you for an interesting story line about a little girl called Sunday. You have a very vivid imagination to narrate it so well. But there is something I would like to point out, but before I do, let me make it clear that , I am no expert and you do not have to use my suggestions at all.
The statement where you started with ; Mrs Woodhouse answered that etc. I would put it differently i.e Mrs Woodhouse replied that.... And the next sentence should not have 'that' in it at all. In fact you could cut it out completely and still make the sentence work for you. I have been told by lots of writers to avoid the word as much as possible. I have all ready BACKED your book.
Cheers,
Pamela 'THE OUTRAGE'

While not something I usually read, I found your story interesting and your wordsmithing capable. I did enjoy the voice...great job. Backed with pleasure.
Dan

I like this story. It's touching and poignant, written with great style and originality. Sunday is an unusual but likeable protagonist and the transition between the worlds of fact and fantasy is well handled. Reminds me of a contemporary Lewis Carroll or J.M Barrie story.

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Thank you very much Jack! Have you red all three chapters?

I like this story. It's touching and poignant, written with great style and originality. Sunday is an unusual but likeable protagonist and the transition between the worlds of fact and fantasy is well handled. Reminds me of a contemporary Lewis Carroll or J.M Barrie story.

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Thank you very much Jack! Have you red all three chapters?