The Bringer

Always loved mysticism. And your story is all what I expected it to be and much more.
I loved the characterization of Lucyna and her strange power.
A great read!

This is fantastic, I love the concept of bringers and their jobs.
I unfortunately have to go to work, (stupid real life) but I shall be back to read more.
I'm really glad I spotted this and added it to my watch list.
Great job!
Will comment further :)

Luciana
Burning Angel

Oh this fabulous! I've never read anything like it! The attention to the details like the souls continuing to try and breathe and the consideration of their thoughts when realising they are dead! All of it's inspired and so well thought out! I'm really impressed with this book and would definitely buy it!

You have a great premise here. There are some things I wonder coming into the story. For some reason, the voice of the POV character feels masculine to me, but I guess that is not the case. The writing needs a little polish, IMO, but it IS of publishable quality, and the STORY is undeniably original and kick ass. I'm happy to have this on my shelf. You are one of the few writers on this site who I think have the potential for a real career in this. If you want to kick up your writing a gear (at least in my personal opinion--and please remember that is all this is!) than you may want to try tapping into the sense more. I'd like to feel a bit more emerged in the scene. Good luck with this. I know you will succeed because this is the full package deal -- voice, character, story... you nailed it. And the writing is very good as well, even if I think it could benefit from a few touch ups. It really might just be a matter of style, keep in mind.

I have read the first chapter and find it very interesting. There are a few things here and there that seem to contradictory like the bringers need to explain her situation if she is void of feelings, and how an creature, the bringer, would have curosity which is a feeling if it doesn't have feelings. I think on a few situations that you have cross my boundaries of believable fiction, but that did not seem to take a lot away from the story the further that I read. The little girl was an good way to introduce you reader to a concept and Max and James were a good twist on what was normal a bringer, and instinctly the reason for the story, and draws your reader into your story. I have only read the first chapter and am thinking and wondering if Lucyna is Max's wife and James' mother, and if she made the wrong choice when she died, and now has no memory of her loved ones. Leaving me with all these question after the first chapter sparks my curousity and make me want to read more. Good start that is bound to unfold into an excellent story.

Jeeze this is good! Inspired! It has all the feel of one of my favorite movies - Death Takes a Holiday (the original with Fredrick March - not Brad Pitt) but actually goes it one better. Lucyna is the Grim Reaper who leads you to the afterworld but can't come in herself. Yet what will happen if she forfeits her post? In Death Takes a Holiday, the Reaper abandons his for love and everyone in the world becomes immortal with horrible results. I wish I knew what will happen here. The plotline is well paced, the characters believable and likeable. Very, very good!
Jim Coplin
Bite Mark

sam,

I am at a lost for words on this. my mind is thinking about the end and what coulod happen. Is James dead or did he live, or what happened? That was very good though, I like good stories.

Penny
The Glass Serpent

sensitive writing and carefully focused-a fascinating read which brings a new angle to an age old drama-backed with pleasure

best wishes

richard

The Bringer.
Chapter 1 - I liked the idea Lucyna has never been in human form and has been created for the sole purpose of guiding souls to heaven - sad she can never go through one of the doors she takes her charges to. 'I think I understand why this is', a nice touch as it reifnorces her other-worldliness before expanding her lack of feelings. Lucyna's curiosity about her appearance is touching. He locks them onto me and visibly wavers at the sight of me - rather than 'wavers at my sight', would read much better. Maxwell Harrison's scepticism is well portrayed as is the passage when Lucyna is 'struck' one seeing James in tears.
Minor nitpick: you use too - which in many instances should be - to.
Chapter 2 - Lucyna's ability to construct her surroundings exactly as she wants is a nice touch. Puzzled about the shimmering veil of light that struck her when she saw James, she question herself. The answer she comes up with conveys her distress (an emotion she hasn't noticed) that she has feelings for James and consequences that will inevitably overtake her if it becomes known are a very interesting and entertaining concept.
Apart from a few little glitches that are easily fixed, the prose flows well. Lucyna's character and personality come across well. For lovers of chick-lit will lap this up.

Nanty - Chrys!

Samantha,
I really enjoyed your first chapter. It took me a little while to get Lucyna's voice right in my head, but once I got the jist of how she was thinking the story began to flow.
This is certainly an interesting plot, and I think you will have a winner here with many fantasy buffs. I hope in the following chapters we learn more about 'The Bringers' and the rules around their existence, and how that effects Lucyna and her feelings towards James. I'm still not sure how you intend working that out, but it is a definite hook, making readers want to find out. Impossible romance situations, are always the best.
I will star rate and watchlist for now, Cheers Jacoba

Samantha, you have an excellent start here. I have only read chapter one and like it. I will keep it on my watchlist and read all you have posted. I am afraid that I am unable to back books at the moment, but when that does become possible I will back this. There are a few typos and in places the writing could do with tightening. Examples: (these may be out of sequence - I jotted them down as I was reading, The sentence "or if I at all have one" would to me read better as "or if I have one at all"; your have repeated @when his' twice in one sentence; the phrase "no soon is it there, its gone" is missing a than and finally, "Maxwell Harrison looks forlorn as walks up to the man" 'he' is missing. Hope this helps, but please don't try and edit at the moment - you could lose your book!

Dear Samantha,
A nice blend of emotions here and written in a sensitive hand. Well done. Poignant in places and you handle this extrememly well. This is fascinating and I was interested enough to see how the story would pan out. Very original and well written.
Good luck.I have starred your book.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

Hi Samantha

Great idea and you execute it sensitively and with great empathy. The opening, with the child, is immensely touching, and I like the way it is contrasted with Max's response to dying. Backed (you'll see it in a day or so).

Nicole
Chosen

I love the concept of this story. It is a fascinating read, and in a genre that is dear to my heart. Happy to back you. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

chapter 1: 'new bring' sentence take out as at the end. it sounds awkward. maybe say "we Bringers"

this is one of the most fascinating things i've read. it's amazing.

me

The Bringer - is well done so far and on my shelf. I like the opening and the hook to chap 1 is good, although it seems to lack a punch. The writing is well above par with only a few instances of repetition and excess baggage, common in just about all work before final edits. ['then turns and tentatively walks toward me. Her movement slow, reluctant.' - Here is an excellent opportunity to eliminate an ly by removing 'tentatively' since slow and reluctant movement is all you need to do the job. You might consider doing away with the period and connecting the sentences. - 'Are you ready to go?' ; 'to go' could go. - 'My 'next bring' as we refer to it as.' ; consider dropping the second as. ] These are only suggestions, of course, and my attempt at constructive criticism, which is what authonomy is supposed to be all about; a concept that seems to have been lost in the shuffle of late. Anyway, as I said, I like the originality of the story line, the writing is very good, and The Bringer belongs on my shelf. Good luck.

G
Einstein's Road Trip [ I would like to see your take on Einstein if your time allows. Thanks. ]