rank

word count 11328

date submitted 04.10.2008

date updated 18.12.2009

genres: Fiction, Comedy

classification: moderate

incomplete

Boomerang

Alan Hutcheson

A crossbow wielding assassin, the Director of Central Intelligence, two jazzers, and a clothing optional ex-cheerleader are all chasing a boomerang with a hidden secret.

Now available on Amazon, both US and UK. Also available as an ebook from Smashwords, Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

Ted Hogwood's beloved Sarah, a Gibson jazz guitar, is in the window of Topp Dollar Pawn. The only way he can get the money to rescue her is to accept an assignment from the AABC, a not nearly official branch of the United States Intelligence community. He is partnered with Jerry Kwiatkowski, master of the Hammond B-3 organ, expert picklock and chronic flatulence sufferer, to steal a boomerang containing secrets that should have died with J. Edgar Hoover in 1972. It would be a simple job if only they knew what they were doing.

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tags

arizona, boomerang, comedy, editors desk, humour, international intrigue, j. edgar hoover, jazz

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11 comments

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HarperCollins Wrote

This is clearly a fun and light-hearted romp of a mystery story, full of adventure and humor. The author shows skill in crafting a sentence as well as creating developed, well-rounded characters. The story is madcap and crazy plot twists keep the reader turning the pages. It has a nice international feel, with lots of locations that would appeal to a wide audience, and lots of “hooks” for publicity or marketing to use, such as the jazz angle, or the smuggling angle, or the political angle, etc. These kind of hooks are important if you want a book to really succeed in the marketplace, and here the author certainly covers plenty of bases.

Unfortunately, there were a few drawbacks. I thought the language almost too clever in parts. There were moments when the author was displaying his writing skill rather than trying to clearly communicate his message, and I found this distracting. For example, the section in the first chapter where Crawford internally debates possible last words for Hoover ends up being cloying instead of cute.

Similarly, let’s look at the quick wrap up of the first Ted chapter: “At the moment she was feeling antipathetic towards the male of the species, jazz players in particular, and could not guarantee Ted's safety if he chose to remain on the premises. She seemed only marginally aware of the large, shiny cleaver in her hand. Ted felt it best to leave before she became fully alive to the fact.” It’s a quick and smart attempt to communicate a lot, but a bit too clever for the situation.

The range of characters is great – but I wonder if it serves to slow the story, which takes some time to get going. Readers do get impatient if it takes too long to get to the real plot (professional readers especially), and with so many new characters being introduced in each chapter, the novel’s opening seems a bit too scattered to pull in an audience. I think a little tightening of the first chapters would serve the book well, taking less time to introduce everyone but focusing only on each character’s most interesting characteristic. It’s a difficult trick – but one that would be worthwhile. It’s also worth considering actually removing a character or two – it really is overwhelming to keep track of the rotating cast. In particular, the one chapter from the dog’s perspective is a bit over-sentimental and doesn’t particularly drive on the plot. This might be one to lose.

Still - I must admit that I greatly enjoyed the author’s imagination, his zany plot and on the whole his wide group of protagonists. With a little more discipline I do think this could be developed into a really fun humor-mystery piece.

26/09/08

PCreturned wrote 385 days ago

I'd forgotten how bonkers and fun this was. I'd ask where you get your inspiration from, but I fear the answer. :)

Good stuff. I can see why I backed this during your race to the desk. Have you got this published now and made untold amounts of money? ;)

My fingers are crossed for you. ;)

Pete

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Burgio wrote 675 days ago

BOOMERANG
I was browsing through past gold star books (the forum says books on this site used to be better than they are now) and stopped to open Boomerang. I just returned from a trip to Vegas and was amazed at how many pawn shops there are there so your pitch about a guitar in one certainly sounds authentic. You have a real knack for combining true happenings with fiction. Makes this an injoyable read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

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Aimee Fry wrote 757 days ago

I can see how this got to the ED. A great story, full of terrific characters and a fab plot. I'm so glad it's now published! May just find myself getting the full copy :)

BACKED even though you've already reached the ED...
Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

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Famlavan wrote 794 days ago

Just been researching what it takes to reach the heady height of THE DESK. Boy, was I impressed with your book. Everything about it is quality. Mmm, think I need a rewrite. - Thanks

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lizjrnm wrote 800 days ago

My son just bought a beautiful Gibson acoustic and so I had to stop and check this out! WOW am I glad i did except I have to be careful becauseI am reading this at work but WOW no wonder this did so frigging well! Is this now published by any chance cause I'd buy this so I can finish it! You have a gifted imagination and a real talent for putting it into words! Backing this even though you don't need my vote! Thanks for the entertaining read!

Liz
The Cheech Room

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Melcom wrote 802 days ago

I'm trawling the gold stars at the moment, interested to see what HC are actually looking for.

i love your premise, a crossbow wielding assassin. The writing is very very smoothe.

Loved it, hope it has had the recognition it deserves.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

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Nick Poole2 wrote 822 days ago

SAVE MY MARRIAGE

Get me in the desk this month or I could be kicked out. It's cold on the embankment at this time of the year.

Have a look at Mirror in The Sky and if you like it, shelve it. I'll back yours as soon as I see it in my newsfeed.

And if you don't like my book, tell me why in a comment, and I'll STILL back your book.

And if you want me to comment on your book, I will. Message me and tell me which one.

I wouldn't ask for myself, but my two daughters would miss me.

Nick

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plumboz wrote 1294 days ago

I would like to thank the H/C editor who read and commented on Boomerang. I will say that the cast of characters isn't going to be downsized and if that is the death knell for traditional publication so be it. There is a point to the book beyond the lighthearted romp, although I have tried to keep it as light and rompy as possibly, and the large cast of characters, including the dog, all play into that point. I understand that that is tough to put across in just the first 10,000 words. I am reexamining the prose style in places to see if any streamlining is advisable. Thanks again to H/C, Authonomy and of course thanks to the editor who took the time to read and comment. But most especially thanks to the members here who found a place on their bookshelves for Boomerang.

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suzySomerset wrote 1323 days ago

Re: These are authonomy’s all-time favourites – and they’ve all been read by our Editorial Board.

Now that you've reached new found heights of fame I've removed your book from my virtual bookshelf and look forward to, perhaps, seeing it in print!! ;)

Good Luck.

You're still on the watchlist.

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suzySomerset wrote 1327 days ago

Haven't time at the mo to finish reading further than page 4. That said, I'm hooked!!!!

It's doing it for me . . . I can see Kenny as though he's there in front of me, the preceding pages having led one to Kenny. I'm expecting great fun with Kenny, and I don't think he'll disappoint!

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