Murdertainment

Read the 1st chapter. Good story! You give the reader a sense that the killer doesn't really hate his wife, he just wants her dead-for reasons that are probably revealed later on. My only critique is the POV. I think your story would read better if it was told in the 1st person, or from Jackson's perspective-example-he watched his wife do the laundry.....instead of getting inside of her head "not doing his clothes," etc.
Dina of The Last Degree and Halo of the Damned

I had tyo have a read for professional reasons. I like your work and am backing you. Good luck. And yes, i have known a few myself and some are very entertaining. Most are not but some are.

Very well written. Popped you my shelf. Good luck :)

Start from the thought of Jackson instead of Regina. A little suspense as reader read and finds her murder. The conflict (Murder) in the first chapter and it is fine. Your pitch sounds interesting. A murder then attempt to cover up. A journalist who follows the case. I dont know what is inside but the plot is good. The tile Murdertainment sounds odd as it is but a portmanteau. is there any love story between the journo and Jackson, just curious, because everything is finished in the first chapter. Anyway, an intense fight between the husband and the wife may be featured in the first chapter instead of giving those in flash back later.

You know about your theme well.

Thanks

This was highly entertaining! Not only is the story superb, the cultural comparisons are spot on. A lot of what you put across about society is so totally correct! I like your voice, its nice to read and engaging as are your characters. I applaud you for giving us something good to read that carries a good dose of reality in it. I really enjoyed spending time with this book!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Added Murdertainment to our watchlist. Great title. Will read and comment on later.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Well done Eric! This reads like a true story -- you have a page turner here.
I wish you well.
jennifer

MURDERTAINMENT-Eric Campbell
hullo Eric. Nothing like a first chapter discussing a kill in detail as well as the disposal of the body. Of course, Jack made one major mistake. That is before you kill, you must have a plan for not only how to dispose of the body but WHERE. Great MC and descriptive wording. might check the timeline since I think I say 11:00 a.m. when I think you intended PM. Very good.
Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

This is an excellent theme. You start with bang and the murder scene. It is interesting that you tell us the identity of the murderer. Flawless flow and gripping tones make this a page turner.

a pleasure to read your work

best
THE MIND SETTER

Your opening line hooked me. You've given us a tense thriller with believable characters and vivid settings. Unique theme, well-executed. Snappy dialogue. Confident narrative. Magical use of language. Razor sharp writing. Backed.

Hi Eric,
I'm glad you've written this book. "Reality" T V has grown so pervasive in news reporting that reporters barely ask any relevant questions anymore--it's all emotion, heroes, villains and miracles. It will be good to watch Brooke "take a look in the mirror," as you say. I wonder if many reporters do that? From what I have read, Murdertainment is very well written. You move the action along at a good pace and slow things down at the scary parts to promote tension. I thought the omniscient point of view worked well. Jacko is a real son-of-a gun and at least partially psycho (the murder scene put me in mind of several I remember from the news in past years--O. J. Simpson and the other guy from California who claimed his wife just went missing, in particular) but I found myself looking at things from his perspective at times during the struggle with Regina, almost rooting for him--that takes some powerful writing skills. I hope this book does well. The story is good, and I don't remember many books taking on the subject of media voyeurism before. Could that be because the publishing houses and media are owned by the same corporations? Anyway, best of luck. Happy to back Murdertainment.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

Wow! What an opening chapter you have! Husband kills wife. Gruesome. I love to find books that open with so much action. Happy to back this. I do however have a handful of constructive criticisms that you may or may not want to consider, some personal, some grammatical.

1. Watch for a couple slips into the present tense. Examples 'Poison is too risky' and 'logistical challenges that are hard to overcome' and 'also, a main road runs alongside...'
2. There are three sentences that aren't in Jackson's POV that question the reader and jar the reader out of the POV slowing the story down. I don't think you need them. They are 'People think someone is dead...' , 'It's funny how the human body can react or not react...' , and 'why was this the case?' two out of three of those are also in present tense.
3. At the end, I'd like to see you consider removing your last sentence about going home to get some sleep. I think if the last sentence is Jackson saying 'Good bye baby, nothing personal...' that makes him more menacing. Just a thought.
4. Lastly, You start the chapter off telling us she is going to be murdered. I think this detracts from the shock value. I'd consider removing the beginning that is in the wife's POV (besides we never find out why she was crying so we don't need to know that she was) and start with Jackson's POV that way we don't know that she's going to end up dead when she tries to fight back.

These are just thoughts and suggestions, take them or leave them, it is your story .
Good luck with this, Cheers, Jennifer - A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE-

Hi Eric,
A most enjoyable read. You say so much that really needs to be said. Very happy to back this.
Best wishes, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Wow. Nice. Love it. Simply, just like that. My second favorite genre (I wrote my favorite in LONDON). You make it your own.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

Mercy, mercy, me, some mornings I find really funny good books on Authonomy, and here's another winner: Murdertainment. Eric Campbell, NJ guy, I've got nine minutes to leave you a comment and read more. I'm going to have to come back because I'm getting locked out of the North Jersey Library system.

Hate to mention this, but I live in the same town as the New Jersey Housewives.

Best wishes and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Hi Eric, what a great idea for a novel. I thought at first it was to be a documentary which in a sense I suppose it is. Loved your cover and pitch which drew me in. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Eric,
While a work of fiction, Murdertainment is a stunning expose on how the media preys on a tragedy and uses the melodrama of a criminal trial to its own advantage. Backed with enthusiasm.

Hi Eric.

I backed your book because I see talent in your prose. I'm not going to stroke your ego like I see a few others have. What I'm telling you is only my opinion, but I know my sh*t.

Love the pitch. I found myself instantly wanting to read. Good job. This was because the premise and quality of your writing carried me forth.

The chapters, while properly punctuated and structurally sound, are missing the sort of snap I was expecting. This may be because you've overwritten some parts. This is definitely not a stab at your writing ability. What I think you've done is painted too much of a picture for the reader and left them nothing to wonder about or envision on their own.

Also, there is a great amount of back story in chapter one. I really found it difficult to follow the story because of it. I know -- sometimes back story is needed. But with the type of story this is, you need action or at least something the reader of this genre will find intriguing enough to want to care about Brooke.

The only reason I say these things is because a) they're true, and b) I feel your writing is very promising, but in need of a second look at length of chapters, and keeping an interesting pace throughout. I don't think you're going to like this comment, but please believe me when I say that I like what you have, and wish you the best of luck.

Gerry
Dropcloth Angels

Talented writing with an intriguing storyline makes this easy to back!

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Hi, Reading your pitch I thought you had mis-tagged it fiction when it should have been non-fiction. Agent don't care about 'theme', they want to see 'plot' - even in Literary Fiction; and especially in a Thriller - so rewrite your short pitch and scrap the first paragraph of your long pitch.
In the second paragraph of the long pitch there's no need to say 'Murdertainment begins with' because it's repetition of the title, and it'll be self evident the book begins with a murder if you simply start with 'The murder of....'
Good luck,

- NaomiM

Hello Eric,

Found you on the forum. Excellent title and good cover. A compelling read with an original slant. Just a few points. You use Jackson's name too frequently when 'he' would do. You also use too many adjectives. Delete some and will it make your prose sharper. Also a bit wordy. EG Just like that, she was gone. Delete, just like that. She was gone has more punch.

Backed.

Joanna

Dear Eric
scarey book for me but I have to commend you for your abilities your skill your talent your mind your use of words to paint pictures.
BACKED if you could find time to comment and back my work great.
Denise
The Letter

This is not far from the truth. With the obsession that the media had with the OJ case, et al, we have seen this unfold time and again. You have an excellent premise for a thriller. "Why are you doing this to me?!" Brooke getting in the bed of the President was a little stereotypical, but I liked where you went with it. We I get a little time, I want to read all that you uploaded. You write is sharp, with realistic dialogue peppered throughout the description. Backed for now.

Dear Eric, I love the intrigue & suspense in your story & was so disappointed when I got to chapter 13 & the rest isn't on, but so far, it's a great write. :) I was concerned about Brooke & her not getting killed. :) Your tight dialogue & paragraph make your story move quickly. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoir book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

I found this enthralling. There is definitely a thought that some people can only achieve notoriety through death. We still read the names of Jack the Rippers victims even now. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear Eric,
Congrats on posting, Murdertainment. Brilliant work and backed with utmost pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Murdertainment
Backed with pleasure
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Brooke. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your crime thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

the title is a clever play on work- simple but clever. excellent writing; perfect flow to the narrative, with effective dialogue....on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

:) comment to follow - read & comment on 3 hours later :)