The Qattara Project

You need to drop 'the' before' Ukraine....it is simply, Ukraine.

No nukes in Ukraine since 1996. The Governments' constant invitations to EU leaders to visit (which they regularly accept) in the hope of joining the European Union at some stage means that there could never be nukes in the country - the EU chiefs would seriously pull the plug on all relations with Ukraine. The fear of this means the Government of Ukraine would hunt and destroy any individuals holding nukes on Ukrainian soil.

I know novels can have a certain 'licence,' they are aferall, novels. But these kind of factual errors in the pitch frightened me to look inside. I didn't want to stumble upon more...The Russia, for example. Which, by the way, DOES hold nuclear weapons, and may have been a better bet for your story, albeit a done to death one.

Good luck with it. Sorry for the gloomy crit.

Daniel.

The DEAD Bloc.

(incidently, a story set in THE Ukraine) :-)

The Qattara Project.

All the right ingredients of a thriller to tap into the readership of today’s headlines. The premise is a logical revival of the mindset that imported Nazi rocket scientists during Nasser’s regime.

Interesting read that moves at a smart clip.

In my opinion, some of the hyperbolic speech coming through the mouths of the villains has been rendered superfluous by newspaper headlines and TV news. You might want to take a second look at that.

Backed.

Azam Gill
“Blasphemy!”

Yes - Yes - Yes - if you like Tom Clancy, which I do, you will like this. Straight forward adventure.

Shane

The Qattara Project is written with assurance and authoritatively sets out its wares. There is sufficient reality based 'data' injected to establish the scene and foreshadow what will inevitably occur. Despite dealing with a subject that has had more than adequate coverage, in actuality and in fiction, this work is nonetheless exciting and loaded with potential. The style is optimum for this genre with just the right amount of urgency in the pace. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

I should probably tell that the genre and story line isn’t one’s that I would normally consider reading. So, my review might be a little tainted based on my personal preference of reading.
I have read from a few famous authors like Stephen King in his memoirs “On Writing” that you should always get your point across in the last number of words as possible conveying your idea to the reader and not add useless information. I have found a lot of both in your writing and I will give you some examples.
The three men came together outside the Mosque an hour before dawn. First, came together is a little excessive and awkward sounding to me. Second, what difference does it make if it was an hour or 30 minutes? “The three men met outside the Mosque before dawn” conveys what you were trying to say in the less words.
They greeted each other quietly, then their leader tapped softly on the sun-dried timbers of the door. Each other is redundant . Softly is a misplaced adverb. I don’t know what sun-dried timbers add to the sentence personally, but I will leave it in for effect. “They quietly greeted, and then their leader softly tapped on the door’s sun-dried timbers” conveys what your were trying to say in less words.
“It opened without a sound and…” “Without a sound” means “quietly”. “It quietly open and…”
Moving on the next point of emphasis referring back to Stephen King’s comments again, he said don’t write passive sentences. You have a lot of passive sentences in your writing and I will give you some examples.
The secret sign had been performed flawlessly. The secret sign is not the one performing the action which makes you have to use “had”. It would be written. “He performed the secret sign flawlessly.”
It smelled of dust, sweaty feet and paraffin from the lamps. The building can’t smell therefore it is not the acting noun. It should be written. They smelled the dust, sweaty feed and paraffin of the lamps.
“A well-thumbed copy of the Koran lay on the table. It was his only possession.” The second sentence is the one that is in question. “was” equals “passive” It should be written. “A well-thumbed copy of the Koran, his only possession, lay on the table.”
Like I said earlier, this really isn’t my genre, but outside of some of the minor issues that I have pointed out your book appears to have a lot of potential. Good luck with your book. I hope my comment might be useful. I am backing your book based on it potential.

I like this, very much. Decisive writing with vivid descriptions, pacey and compelling. Set in a region which has me intrigued anytime I come across it in a novel. I'm no expert but for me, the political idealisms are painted with authenticity and conviction. Brutal, extreme, fanatical and a corruption of a gentle and ancient religion. This is accomplished writing and I wish it every success.

We enjoy “explosive” stories, and yours is just that! We are “BACKING” you. Best Wishes!
CC Brown
Dark Side

Exciting and action packed, and that's just the first few chapters! I like reading a book where I truly feel the author knows what he is talking about. You keep the pace tight and moving, giving us just enough information as we go. It's got all the ingredients of a top notch thriller; intrigue, action, hot women. A definite hit.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

THE QATTARA PROJECT-Terry Adams
hullo Terry. you are very well versed on the topic of terrorism. A thriller to be sure.Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Very well written. Backed, with pleasure.

Carol

Ingenous. Riveting. A superbly tangled thriller. Real characters. Well-drawn dialogue. Provocative narrative. Unique storyline. Spot on storytelling. Only one nit: consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse diminishes their effectiveness. Other than that, this is astute writing. An infectious read. Backed.

Terry,
The Qattara project
Wow what a fast moving highly entertaining thriller.
Candy and Hammond are well written characters and your descriptions bring
you right into the story. Although I only read three chapters this has the makings of a steady climb up!
Njoyed
*moods and expressions*

hi TERRY ' THE QATTARA PROJECT'

INGREDIENTS ALL THERE TO MAKE A VERY GOOD UP TO THE MINUTE FILM;
love you short and long pitch, a story in itself,
excellent story as it moves along at a good and interesting pace. certainly; ;up to the minute in story line.
good luck
backed
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
back mine if you like, however very different style thanks

You are totally fantastic, Terry! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Terry,
My only quibble with your great writing is the first word of your long pitch. "Sexy" - why do you need that word? I'd be much more interested in the nuclear scientist Candy Ascherberg. We'll undoubtedly find out soon enough that she is sexy, but I think it demeans your character (like being a nuclear scientist isn't enough for a woman) and cheapens your pitch which is otherwise so great. I don't mean to be so nitpicky but couldn't help myself - sorry! Because this is an amazing premise and a unique story line.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

THE QATTARA PROJECT

Dear Terry Adams,

This is strong writing and a well crafted intriguing story. The dialogue and characters ring true.
I am totally fascinated after the first chapter.

I would like a punchier first chapter but I can see how the writing builds.

A Zoomer

Terry - this is the ultimate transcontinental air flight book. It's full of unpretentious action and excitement. It would make a great movie!

Good luck

Mudcleats

I read your first chapter and found it very interesting. Your pace is good. Your writing is strong. Happy to back. Two constructive critiques you may or may not want to consider. First, lose the exclamation point. Secondly, I'm afraid you use far too many adverbs. I'd suggest you remove as many as you can bare to... Cheers and good luck with your writing, Jennifer - A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE-

The Qattara project
A very interesting pitch, it's good writing too
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Hey Terry, more I read, the more I'm admiring your story telling. Consistent structure. Nice!

sincerely,
jim

Dear Terry
just love your short pitch which really encouraged me to read on. your long pitch sold me your book. I have not read it all and certainly cannot comment with regard punctuation and grammar , i would not presume. but I know what I enjoy and I did your book so far. Over time I will carry on reading for sure. I will say that I like the feel that I am sitting with you and you are telling me the story, we all like that.

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is
important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
The VERY best of luck to you
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

This is an intriguing thriller. I doubt the rationale to use nuclear devices to flood an area to promote employment and to protect the interests of American capitalists, but it makes for a stimulating thriller. Yeah, let's buy secretly some nukes from the Urkraine and use those somehow help flood a large depression in the desert. It's got to work since some engineers think it's possible. Thirty-two warheads? Wow! This is a hoot. You throw practically everything into this including the Israel lobby. Let's make an "inland sea over 100 miles long and seventy wide . . . which would create jobs building hotels and servicing them." Get some nukes (32) and blow the shit out of the 30 miles between the sea and the depression. Then wham, a new tourist resort. "He had only a few shot months to live . . . what would the world say of him when he was gone?" Back this project and he revenge against the terrorist who had hurt is great-neice. Who cares about the radiation? The tongue-in-cheek satire is great. Well, this is a highly entertaining read. Backed for now.

Dear Terry
The Qattara Project is an outstanding piece of work, you should be extremely proud of..... I have backed it on the strength of your synopsis and look forward to reading the story. I will of course return with further comments.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Hi Terry. I am happy to find your book. I love the short pitch. Long pitch has given too much of information, just like you are going to tell a story and never gives the audience' chance to be curious what will happen next. If you consider re write the long pitch in a different way, it will make the readers to read more in the chapters. Does it sound like a positive criticism?
I backed because of the story line and creative writing you have done so well.
Backed,
Please take a look at Bamboo Promise,
Thanks

I wasn't sure whether I'd like this as the pitch lead me to believe it might be one my husband would enjoy. However I'm suprised to say I did. The chilling breath of fanatics fighting for a cause pulsed through the pages making it a page turner. I was a little sorry that Mike had croaked but was glad to see that there is a chance that Candy - Doctor of Nuclear Physics no less - is likely to make a recovery - whatever that might entail. Good Luck K.J.Rabane - According to Olwen

Dear Terry, I have been reading your book ever since you 1st put it on, & it won't accept my comment - now I find it is put on a 2nd time, so I'll go from here. It won't copy & paste, so I'll go back & forth from 2 screens to try to get it all from the bottom of your 1st upload:
I love your suspenseful intrigue in your story. :) Your pitch is concise, preparing me for my exciting read, but I have sadness because Hammond will die in the end for his cause :( - with inoperable cancer, like both of my parents had. I like that your crisp dialogue & paragraphs provided me with a smooth read. :) Irena is a beautiful character that you have created :) - her sensitivity & wanting to get her debt paid after her mother's death is touching, but I wouldn't have the nerve to do what she did, though. :) Great write! :) Can hardly wait to see feisty Candy in action :) - maybe there'll be more romance in her life, possibly with Leo, huh? :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created most memorable main characters in Candy and Hammond. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

:) comment to follow - read & commented on an hour or more later :)

Have read both chapters through and found your book to be compelling reading once started.
Your description of the killings outside the tombs was very vivid, I felt as if I was there.
Your book starts of with the terrorists making all the running, but I,m sure the next few chapters will change things around. The 'Qattara Depression' looks like it will be flooded, we'll have to see, could do with a few more chapters.
Your book is well written and appears to carry authentic Egyption scenes in it.
I back it for certain.SHELVED.

Could you please check out my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.
I would be very pleased.

kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest - Series)

THE QATTARA PROJECT
Welcome to authonomy. You have an exciting pitch which will catch the readers eye. A few grammar mistakes - ukrainian (U) for example.
Lots of action and suspense
Backed.
When you have a moment I would be delighted if you would take a look at my book. Thanks and good luck on here.
Faith

THE ASSASSIN VILLAGE