Oak Cliff: A Tale of Darkness and Despair

The support I have had during my illness has meant so much to me and has kept my book afloat whilst I was unable to attend to reviewing and backing. I would very much appreciate you taking a look at it to see if it is worthy of your backing, thank you. I am now feeling a lot better and will be visiting the site and playing my part once more, though for a while I cannot fully participate by writing out my comments for each one, so, I am backing without comment, other than this note, which I have cut and pasted to all. However, if you require a comment, let me know and I will try to oblige as soon as I can. Otherwise, you can take it that, by backing your book, I enjoyed your work. Love, Mary – Oh, by the way. I am making it my mission to help prevent breast cancer in the older lady by asking everyone to ensure you remind every woman in your family over the age of fifty to not miss her mammogram appointments. I had no outward sign of the malignant cancer inside my breast. My mammogram showed it up before it had time to migrate to my lymph nodes and so, saved my life. A little reminder could save the lives of the women you love. Thank you.

Full of intrigue and exciting twists. Brilliantly written with wonderful characters. Happy to back, in fact I thought I had already done so, but can't find it. Eunice -The Temple Dancer.

Marion -

Oakcliff ... haunting, as a man shovels earth over his drugged wife who is alive. The farm is witness and tells its story when a century has passed and it is up for auction. A couple arrives, the man a TV star, the dancing Gourmet who falls in love with a kitchen he would die for ... the farm is disturbed by the phrase. I'd leave out the term 'flannel-clad' in the first sentence, and probably a few other adjectives where they take away from an otherwise powerful sentence. A compelling story.

Backed, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Marion,
Oak Cliff: A Tale of Darkness and Despair has an enthralling plot outlined in your synopsis. Oak Cliff Farm has an intriguing history and I love the idea of restoring an old house to its former elegance as was done with the Molly Brown House Museum in Denver, Colorado. Your narrative voice creates a pleasurable read and I look forward to seeing the complete work. Backed with enthusiasm.

01 October 2010
The consummate ability inherent in the prose of this work is admirable. I found myself actually engrossed in the monologue of a house, for God's sake! I can't fault the work and therefore can offer no constructive criticism. I'm sure that a writer with this creative talent and facility with words needs no approval, commendations or the like from lesser mortals. An excellent MS, the only failing of which is the brevity of the upload. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

This is a really interesting book. Reminder of the after effects of war. Backed with pleasure. Lisa

Lenore, you are the second person to liken this opening scene to Poe. One of my editors said that the first time she read it. Thanks for the comment.

Marion

And before I forget :), I'd change the "one" could hear..." in final graph before Present Day. Use of one is awkward. Just "she" would be fine, sticking to the format. I truly thought I was reading Poe, so engrossed was I in the opening. Such a fine presentation. Hooked and backed. Good luck!

And before I forget :), I'd change the "one" could hear..." in final graph before Present Day. Use of one is awkward. Just "she" would be fine, sticking to the format. I truly thought I was reading Poe, so engrossed was I in the opening. Such a fine presentation. Hooked and backed. Good luck!

Before I forget them...in chapter two you have a line of dialogue "I'm sorry Jack; I don't know what came over me." You don't need the ; I think a comma would work just fine. I had a heck of a time with semicolons in my work so just passing along the knowledge! Also, if you have an exclamation point you don't need to say 'she exclaimed'. The ! should convey that point and vise versa. There are a few other places where you should have commas but most times that comes out in your editing. If you want to know where else, just let me know!

Anyway, I loved your prologue! You really set up an eery scene! I could literally FEEL it. I like the transition too, you've got a likable main character. It's kind of fun being inside her head! I'm interested in what is to come and how this all ties together so I hope you post more soon! Thanks for a truly enjoyable read!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Just had time for the first two chapters.
Your genre is not something I would pick but the strong narrative voice kept me going…still too much “telling” and not enough “showing.”
Most agents I know advice against starting with a dream. We get one male character and a woman…who are they.
You end first chapter and start second chapter in first person, that helps set a better pace.
The dialogue sounds real and moves the story along but more would be even better (internal dialogue helps define your MC.
Your narration has a natural flow to it Overall a good story which will go well with readers of the genre.
Good job and you’ve got my backing.
Dan

Great pitch Author Marion. This is definitely one for the shops. Immensely fascinating story.

A plesure to support you.

backed
THE MIND SETTER

I like this very much. Since most people buy a book on account of the blurb and the opening pages, the horrifying beginning of this book would be enough to make anyone buy into your yarn. It is paced perfectly, competently written, efficiently edited, and in my opinion the drip-feed of italicised introspection is just right - a device I've tried to use myself.
The storyline has given me an idea for a book - yet ANOTHER one. So much to write - who invented work?
Good stuff - should do well: I hope so.
Backed easily
Peter Wild
Double Action

Brilliant work...... Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Dear Marion
I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. I would like to commend you on the skill you have and the imagination and the talent in writing this work of art of yours. I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha!

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
The VERY best of luck to you
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Hi Marion, have read what you uploaded so far.
This is a gripping story, a very emotional and compelling read.
I like the way the house is a M/C, the voice is brilliant and couldn't be better written.
You have introduced some interesting characters in your story, especially Merline Madagascar.
Chapter 1 is an exceptional piece of writing, well thought out and emotionally riveting.
You have a great talent for description, I certainly wont forget what I've read, it has impressed me.
This has to be one of the best first chapters on this site, I am of the mind that the rest of your book will too after its finished.
I wish you well and back your book SHELVED.

Thank you for backing my book and drawing my attention to yours.

kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest - Series)

This is probably one of the most effective first chapters I have ever read. The book will be impossible to put down after reading this alone, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Merline. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Well written and an intriguing storyline make this easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Oak cliff
I like the putch and the writing style
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

I love the idea of the story - and such stories - old houses with past secrets which impinge on the present are very popular. I enjoyed the read so far, but I have a couple of comments to make, on things that I think I'd prefer:
First, maybe one or two less adjectives in the descriptions in the beginning? 'Stiff and icy cold by the frigid night air.' - if they are icy, it will be v. cold. 'Flannel clad sleeping woman' - nothing wrong with it, but you do mention the nightgown later, and somehow, 'sleeping woman' is stronger.

I also like the third person. When it began in the present, I wasn't sure I liked the first person - but that may just be me. Overall I like the idea and the burial was horrible! No wonder the house is not happy. I shall be reading on to see what happens.
Polly
STONES.

Dear Marion, I love Emil's touching letter. :) It would be difficult for me to stay in a house that seemed to be haunted, no, I'd not even stay the night. :) Your pitch was concise, telling the intrigue of the house situation & your dialogue & paragraphs tight, providing for a good read. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Neville,

I'd be happy to look at your book - will mark it so I can come back to it later this evening.

Thanks for backing my book.

Mrion

Hi there, I like the look of your pitch.
I have therefore backed your book and will come back to it later to do a proper read which I look forward to.

Could you please take a look at my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE?
I would be very pleased.

Kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest – Series)

Hi there, I like the look of your pitch.
I have therefore backed your book and will come back to it later to do a proper read which I look forward to.

Could you please take a look at my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE?
I would be very pleased.

Kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest – Series)