How To Murder Your Best Friend And Get Away With It

I was meant to do a review for you ages ago, but I suppose it's better late than never.

I’ve got to say, this is a highly original story, and the way in which you go about it is very clever. In chapter 1 I liked the discussion comparing the Europeans with the Americans, and thought it was a good lead in. (The comparison between “Do they know it’s Christmas” and the American version was entertaining).

I loved the subtitles in chapter 2, eg. My Superior Intelligence, My Extreme Boredom, etc. I found the Extreme Boredom section particularly amusing as my brother-in-law teaches English as a foreign language. I wonder whether he’ll agree with your character on his point about it being a boring job.

The detailing of a Mr Nice Guy as a murderer (an oxymoron) was very well done with the three examples you used: Akayesu, Stanic Mulogov, and Ted Bundy. This adds to your character’s belief that the human race is not particularly “nice.”

I thought the dialogue in “The Second Roman Invasion of Britain” scene was funny. It was also a clever way of detailing Tom’s dislike of fighting.

The inclusion of the 9/11 and Vietnam examples was an eye opener. I had no idea how many people had died in the Vietnam War, and never really thought about it as it wasn’t something we studied in New Zealand. However, I did know about Agent Orange, and the affect it had on people. Did you know it was developed in New Plymouth, New Zealand? New Zealand specialises in defoliants, which is what Agent Orange was.

I don’t have any suggestions for change in the two chapters I read, as it is very polished with no noticeable typos. The sentences and paragraphs all flowed well, and the way chapter 2 was structured (detailing the reasons for wanting to kill one of his best friends) worked very well.

That’s it from me. Best wishes, Marita.

You have some far out ideas - and I love many of them! - and I'm sorry that I can't read more at the moment but you are on my shelf and I will dip in now and again. One suggestion though, if you don't mind ... In the preface, I think it would have much more impact if you omitted the last sentence. The readers can see that you're going to give an explanation and there's really no need to tell them. Leave them with the wow factor.
All the best
Katy

Hi Martyn - If you're this funny in person then you're tragically wasted in China. Or can you do it in Mandarin? Haven't laughed this much since I read Martin Amis's Money - and that's some praise. Indeed, so much did it amuse me that I think it should carry some sort of health warning. Started Ch 3 (yes, I read every word of the book) while trying to eat something and nearly choked to death over the phone call to mother, turkey costume and graffiti. Your dead-pan, buttoned-down, conversational voice is pitch-perfect and it's fabulous. I'm crazy about the way you layer upon layer upon layer the comic effect for the slow burn, and your endless detours to delay ever getting to the point are in themselves extremely funny. I hope by now I've said enough to convince you that I adore this book and the skill with which it's so intricately worked out while never appearing to be anything other than the ramblings of the funniest bloke you've ever been lucky enough to sit by on a long flight. Have I done that? Good. Because now I'm going to get mean. I see that others have mentioned the proof-reading. You've obviously done some polishing on the first few chapters but gave up at Ch 5. Martyn, I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you but you've got hours of work ahead. I mean, hours. I also detected a slight falling off towards the end (no wonder.) Not that the comedy let up, though it was diminished by the uncorrected text, but rather I felt a few corners were being cut, and the chief of them was the only flaw I could find in the plot. It's this. I can see why you want to keep Debbie under wraps to maximize the twist at the end, but it actually makes it less powerful, not more. That would have had so much more bite if we'd got to know her and your relationship a bit, and yet more punch if she'd had a motive - a crazy one of course, in keeping with the upside-down world you've created. How did she know Rich, for a start? The ending is completely unexpected and clever, but it's a little underwritten. And finally (I'll shut up in a minute) I think the sequence of chapters describing all the friends on that New Year's Eve in Spalding - brilliant structural device BTW - needs some tweaking. The chapters themselves need to be slightly shorter, except Ch 8 which is perfect. But I found it almost too rich a diet to have them one after the other - have you thought of interleaving some of them with your Ch 9, cut up into sections as you tease the reader's impatience to know what's going to happen still more? My only reason for mentioning all this is because it's so, so good that it deserves to be a huge success. Anything that adds to the gaiety of nations is to be cherished. The very best of luck. Anna

Hi Martyn

I enjoyed this, with its low-rent contemporary Raskolnikov hero. I thought it was going to be annoying, but he's managed to win me over. I'm glad you made that point about religion. It drives me mad when you get average IQ'd morons on the internet sneering at religion, so supremely confident that somehow their 2:2 in Media Studies from Penge Poly qualifies them to dismiss 2000 years of consideration from the giants of the Western intellectual tradition. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Hello Martyn and my apologies for taking so long to leave a comment. You asked for an honest reaction so that is what I shall give although I preface it as always with the fact that I am not published myself, am no expert and can only talk from my own personal viewpoint as a reader.

I found it hard-going. Maybe it is just not my kind of book. The format doesn't work for me. The prologue feels pointless. There are many who don't believe in prologues full stop but I confess included one in my book. If you are going to have one then it needs to hit the spot in terms of attracting attention and intrigue. Something that will have readers wanting more - to find out what happens. Your prologue is a diatribe - part of your first person style but nothing that makes me want to read on. I don't understand why it's there.

Into chapter one and the format continues to grate. You have lists within lists and I don't want a list - I want a story with some action interspersed with some exposition when necessary to add colour and background. You paint a good picture of your MC with this style without a doubt but the ranting goes on for too long. I got the picture ages ago and yet you continue to beat me over the head with it!

You have a list of Reasons to Murder and within the second point you have a list of causes for boredom. Within the third point you have three stories to recount. But I want to hear your story. You've grabbed me with a strong concept, a shocking opener of an idea so please start telling me the story!! I am getting very frustrated! In a book store or if I hadn't promised an honest comment I would have given up ages ago.

You can get across your character's personality and flaws just as well by playing them within the action. By the end of chapter one we need to have got swept into the story. I don't want to be preached at. If fact, never mind by the end of chapter one - most readers won't bother carrying if they aren't swept into the story from the very start.

Where is your MC as he rants? What is he doing? There is no sense of time or place. Who are his friends? Why do they deserve to die? Do I care if they are to die? Sure you probably get to that eventually but you need to bring some of this up into chapter one otherwise we ain't never going to get to that bit. It reads like a text book - it needs to read like a thriller. Leave the gimmicks out of it. You don't need them. You just need to write the story. Ditch the lists, the text books stuff - use his rants to paint his personality but drip feed them (briefly) during some action. Make something happen from the start.

Hope that doesn't sound too harsh but it's what I honestly feel. Not many people have a great idea for a book but you do. And it deserves to be written. It will be worth the work. Good luck with it.
Shubie

Your writing style reminds me of Zusack -- if you're not familiar with the Aussie author I mean it as a great compliment. The book yours reminds me of is The Messenger -- same pace and gritty characteristics.

Backed by E.

Witty, intelligent and very entertaining. In the first few chapters, you make points that the rest of us think are true, but rarely have the guts to make public. The descriptions of your characters paint a very clear picture in my mind.

This story deseves to be backed.

Good luck.

If your writing itself doesn't say it, your pitch or even the title is catching enough to lure someone like me in! Wonderfully written! Thank you for agreeing to swap reads. Hopefully you can enjoy Twin Fates as much as I have enjoyed your novel!
~Richard

I actually read your book at last and loved your main character, Tom (there must be some elements of you in him, I think, plenty) is a thoroughly loveable rogue, a man trying to be ‘The Man’ in a man’s world. I loved the humour in the words you have chosen to use and in the way you have used them – thank god, it is not of the slapstick variety. In a way, it is very Brit – dry but drop dead funny and I can see someone like Simon Pegg (Hot Fuzz) playing Tom. And through your words, I could imagine you and the rest of us, sitting in our offices, behind the desk, in front of the computer, listing very reason to murder someone from the boss, to the executive and the tea lady – and why stop there – add in the spouse, the priest that baptized you and the milkman – and planning the execution of those murders. We all have had such inclinations but you put yours to paper, Wonderful. Please get it published as I think your book would make a great Xmas/bday/Valentine’s/stag & Hen nights etc. Backed with a smile, Hanyxxx

Martyn, I think the son of Mister Hitchcock would be proud of you... The old master used to say that the public would always root for the villain, the one that is desperate not to get caught, and it didn't matter how dastardly the crime...In your story, there are, to boot, SIX herrings to choose for said crime - the macguffin of this piece. If Tom's worthy enough, he can get the local police hotshot to put Dancin' Fred and Taylor's mother in the line up of the *usual suspects*...

It's a heinous thing you've concocted, black-black-black, almost Faustian, and you say it like it is with no holds barred. You'll have readers laughing 'til it hurts, but all the while thinking, well, would I? Could I? Will Tom...? And, more importantly... Will he get away with it? Did I just ask that last question?

Good luck, Martyn - your work will go far... and I'll back it even though I hate myself.

From Kay
Waystation to Prosperity Street

This had been sitting on my WL for a long time, mainly because of the off-putting book cover. To my surprise, instead of the expected gore, I discovered an intelligent and amusing story which I intend to read to the end. I'm happy to return the backing.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

Hi Martyn

Your pitch is totally unique and shows a hint of the humour you have in this book.
Your descriptions of the reasons Tom lists for wanting to murder are quite hilarious.
I can see this being a real hit with many people who share your black sense of humour.
Backed
Sarah. T-cup and the Dream Team Fairies

I alternating between thinking "did he really just say that?" and laughing out loud. Great stuff.

Martyn,
I think I dated this guy. I didn't take him at all serious. Thought he was one of those angry young men that needed a war. Pity for the other guy. Nice theory, great set up, creative and clever. Several thumbs up.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

How to murder your best friend . . .
An interesting pitch, and a well written opening,
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

I have been "circling" this book for a while now, and am really glad I got down and read some of it! As a former TEFL teacher (for one year only, and after only FOUR days of training in Dijon), I can relate to your point about the industry not being taken seriously. I loved the punchy opening, and the clear way you set out your reasons for murdering your mate.

I may be the girl on the bus with the notebook - I was quite spoddy as a kid - so I hope you are right and there is a pay off coming soon...Oh, and remind me not to cross you. : - )

Great stuff! This is the Heineken of mid-life crises. Mind you, you are only 31...

Best
Vanessa
Banana In The Briefcase

Engaging examination of the human psyche and what makes us good or bad in other people's eyes, mid life crisi will never be the same again

I wasn't sure when I began whether, as a mere female, I would like this one - well, I did, and very much so! How can something so intrisically serious (not to mention horrific) be so funny; but it is. I hardly stopped laughing from beginning to end of the intro and chapter one. I have to stop because I've run out of time, but I am backing this without reservation - it has to get published. Best of Luck and thanks for some interesting thoughts and seriously good laughs.

Really liked this. Opening was short, sweet and to the point, and filled with funny. I was actually laughing out loud. Loved the sharing the cell with a retard line -- it's so bad it's good. I think Mr S King would like this, because you write from the heart, you don't swap shit for sugar in case you offend. The forth reason for committing a murder --the f***king human race caught me right off guard! Really liked this a lot, have backed with pleasure. If you've time I'd like to hear your thoughts on my own little tryout, Hotel Carousel.

Good Luck

Sar

Original and well-written. Backed with pleasure.

You are right being successful often needs help like being in the right place at the right time or knowing the right people, of course a good degree helps. I felt a little depressed reading the first part of the chapter but the concept of your book probable is considered by many but rarely acted upon. By the time I got to the fourth reason, I was chuckling, you have a good ways with words.
This is well thought out and written. Happy to back.

Tony
Life Bringer

Many thanks for that. I agree completely - it needs a good old proofing

Backed How to Murder your Best Friend.... Interesting idea for a story...bored....murder your friend. Amusing and unique in a distrubing way. When you have time, we suggest give your book a good proofing. We found several punctuation errors. Example: Before I go on can I just add that intelligence is the one thing that gives me faith in God. Should be written: Before I go on, can I just add that intelligence is the one thing that gives me faith in God? Hope you will find time to read and comment on our book Dark Side.
CC Brown

Backed How to Murder your Best Friend.... Interesting idea for a story...bored....murder your friend. Amusing and unique in a distrubing way. When you have time, we suggest give your book a good proofing. We found several punctuation errors. Example: Before I go on can I just add that intelligence is the one thing that gives me faith in God. Should be written: Before I go on, can I just add that intelligence is the one thing that gives me faith in God? Hope you will find time to read and comment on our book Dark Side.
CC Brown

HOW TO MURDER YOUR BEST FRIEND-Martyn Bingham
hullo Martyn. first thing I would say is in the last paragraph of your full pitch; murderers is the correct spelling but could be wrong! A wild book. You might not be surprised at how many individuals do believe themselves to be of a 'higher' level of intelligence. and the comic leaning of your write is truly funny. Very good.
Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

HI MAARTYN 'HOW TO MURDER YOUR BEST FREIND AND GET AWAY WITH IT'

AS I CAN SEE BY THE TITLE this book is written in tongue in cheek style , In jthat context it will either get under peoples skin or they will see it for what it is and enjoy it
well . i have to say that i am enjoying what i have read in the first few chapters. it s edgy and moves along at a great pace, full of comedy and humour.that keeps you glued to the pages
backed
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please back mine if you like it thanks

I can take this but in the knowledge that some would find it too near th e knuckle. Dark chuckles fill the private space. Write on. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

My second comment after reading the entire book. FANTASTIC! I really love the voice of the narrator/ There isn't a single thing I would change. And, yes, you kept the tension sharp, and the climactic scene at the victim's residence was shocking. Shocking, I tell you. Well done. Thanks for the ride.

Patricia West Hays
The Witness Tree

Let me first say that I've only started to read this. But I am already impressed. I'm new to the community here, and not interested in exchanging backings, in fact it will be a while before I upload a manuscript. But I digress.

Wow. An undiscovered voice triumphant and exacting. The synopsis hooked me immediately and as I have been getting to know the voice of the work, I feel like you're almost channeling a European Patrick Bateman. Only, a current, and more relative Bateman.

That being said, one thing that could automatically alienate readers across the pond is that in the very first chapter our protagonist talks about how "We" always best the Americans. Now, obviously, this is a unique voice for a unique protagonist, and I am not one to suggest pandering to the Americans or anyone, really.

But, that being said, this would appeal greatly to American audiences who practically invented the anti-hero. Yet, they are a proud lot, and the minute they see that, even if they're intelligent enough to understand that it's narration is unique to the protagonist's voice, they'll still feel slightly jaded.

It didn't slight me, though, and I'm enjoying it and will probably leave a more comprehensive review once I've finished it. For now though, I am hooked!

Loved the main character, but wouldn't want him in my circle of friends. What a fascinating mind you have, conjuring up such a clever story, and amusing as well. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

An interesting way of setting out a story, makes you want to read on! I like your dry wit too. Backed. Clare

Many thanks Carol. Such kind words.

A clever comedic story with an exceptionally well-developed main character. Twisted relationships. Astonishing attention to detail. Lively dialogue. Thought-provoking narrative. Hysterical wit. Splendid writing. An utterly delightful read. Backed.

A clever comedic story with an exceptionally well-developed main character. Twisted relationships. Astonishing attention to detail. Lively dialogue. Thought-provoking narrative. Hysterical wit. Splendid writing. An utterly delightful read. Backed.

Rober - your words offer me a huge amount of encouragement. I cannot emphasis enough how much I appreciate this.
Martyn

The general rule, we're told, is to balance narrative with dialogue, show not tell, keep the info.drops to a minimum, aim for readership sympathy with the M.C. You've broken all of the rules and it works brilliantly. Is it me who'S a little weird for so strongly identfying with Tom or is the rest of the world deserving of his decisions? Whatever, this is a great read and should rocket.
Backed without hesitation
Rober Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

The protagonist reminds me a little of the character in the film 'American Psycho'. Fantastic! I was immediately hooked by your pitch (although I do think the pitch requires tidying a little). I love it, I really do. I feel it needs a little editing to make it 'tighter', but an absolutely brilliant premise. Backed.

Backed based on strong writing and intriguing premise. I read through Chapter Two and will read more. Sly 180 has great instincts, so I would take special notice of his comments. His book, Stonefish, is among a precious few best of the genre of hired guns and cold blooded killers. Another great manuscript is Diary of a Serial Killer by B. Cameron Lee. I would suggest you read both "cover to cover." So far, the voice of your narrator seems a bit stifling and self-absorbed, all intellect. This likely goes with the territory, as the narrator prides himself on his mere intelligence. However, I find sheer intellect cold and disengaging in the opening chapters. I predict he warms up. Guess I'm suggesting that you put a bit more of that humanity up front.

One question: Is the "Parton" you refer to in the "We are the World" Preface Dolly? If so, you should know that Dolly moves around my state pretty much passing for anyone's grandmother, and most people agree that the real person lacks the ego for which, say, Michael Jackson was famous. Dolly is a cartoon character she puts on. I would suggest removing her from the list of egomaniacs. Kinda like putting Gandhi on a list of tyrants.

Hello:

You asked me to take a look at your book. I have to say that this reads less like a novel and more like a non-fiction instruction manual. Your voice is kind of all over the place, as if you couldn't decide exactly what you were trying to do. Therefore, I think it needs to be smoothed out. I also think that your premise strains credulity a bit, unless you are describing a sociopath, which seems to be the case. But not even sociopaths murder out of boredom. There is an uneven, undecided quality here, at least in my estimation. Estes Collier, PRO BONO

Hello there, this is one hell of a book and I know you'll go far with this one. In fact I found some of the text quite funny in parts and although I am British I am American born and if your jibes about America wasn't so damn funny I would've felt insulted. So there you are, you got me hook. I will keep my eyes open for when it is published, I guarantee you I would probably be the first to buy this hilarious book. Backed with pleasure by me.
Cheers,
Pamela 'THE OUTRAGE'

Dear Martyn,
I like this...... I like it a lot..... In fact I think it displays amazing best seller potential...... Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Wow, this is certainly a unique idea. I love his flippant voice, in the face of something so horrible as murder- it spins the story with a dark edge. Backed.

I knew it! I always said those TEFL teachers were a sinister bunch...
You've got the awesomely dark sense of humour of classic Robert Rankin - Love it!

Maria.

just read your first 2 chapters and i like what i have read so far

you deserve to be backed just for your ryder cup story at the start (quite relevant considering it starts today)

you bring out the mondain side of life in a very dark way and i feel this will create a very enticing plot line

backed and good job

matt

your premise here sounds great. looks like it could be a very funny read in parts as well as having all of the foundations for some dark and deep writing

added to my list. ill try read more later

all the best

matt

Martyn,

I have just read the first two chapters and I loved it! I loved your style of writing and the format was very different and enjoyable. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. It's on my shelf!
Very best of luck to you.

Clare Costa - Eye for an Eye.

Well, I'm American and you certainly nailed us in that first chapter! This is unique and interesting. I found myself reading more than I really had time for. Excellent work.

Anne
Closeted Courage

Read the opening chapters then skipped to the end to see how it came out. Very dark humor following an analytical psycho. Sometimes he'd have me agreeing with him for a second before running off the deep end. You really milk the situation for all it is worth with the details about whom should be selected and why. I half expected Tom to get away with it and then find that murder was boring. I like the ending you chose, though. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

You never know when you might need this book. :) great read on a dull afternoon.

A highly novel approach to telling a story, and one that's given me several moments of laughing so much I almost choked on my tea! Blackest of black comedy, which is very refreshing, and I certainly didn't see that ending coming. Happy to back this.

I love the idea behind this book. Your title and pitch are a big draw. Your writing style is fluid, intriguing and interesting and your characterisation is very strong.
Personally I wouldn't buy this book, purely because it isn't the sort of book I would read, being a pacifist :o) but that is very much a personal thing, it is not a comment on you as an author. Therefore, I would highly recommend it to anyone for whom this genre is appealing because the writing is great and you should do very well with it.

Blessings

Jo

I love the concept, I would prefer if its not a comedy, but I still think this will be interesting, I will take a depper look as soon as I get the time...as for now, Backed with pleasure :)

Sincerely
Nadia
The Magnificent Cat

I love the concept, I would prefer if its not a comedy, but I still think this will be interesting, I will take a depper look as soon as I get the time...as for now, Backed with pleasure :)

Sincerely
Nadia
The Magnificent Cat