Antithesis

Sharp, crisp writing, with believable characters, and a well thought out plot. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

There is a lovely poetic cadence to your writing, this reads like you've put alot of hours into editing - I'm no editor myself - but everything seemed to flow so well.. Elliot is a good character, and I think the theme you've chosen is very interesting, certainly not run of the mill stuff - well done, Backed !
Diane
Good Blood

Hello Allison, I enjoyed reading your story. Your writing is very good and your characters are believable Well done: hope this does well.
Phyllis
A PASSING STORM

Allison,
I backed your work several days ago, but I wanted to read it before I commented. The story is wonderful. Your long pitch sucked me right in and have not been disappointed. The descriptive words that you choose to use paint a picture in my mind of everything that is going on. And, as a northern girl, I like seeing the southern dialect, like y'all. It is very clear to me that you have a love for horses and a love for this sport. Keep up the good work.
P.S. - I have the same reservations as Elliot about anything being killed. I am relieved that the story contains no bloody descriptions of that sort. Backed with pleasure:) - Michelle

An easy and entertaining read. Undemanding to begin with, but it kept my interest perfectly easily. You are showing your characters, and introducing their world. I am not one of the school who wants their protagonists in bitter conflict from the start. I noticed no errors of grammar and spelling, and noticed no 'jargon' that was not common enough to need to explain. A beautiful book cover which will look nice on my shelf. Marj.

Really, don't you love how people have so much time to explain the nuances of the novel you should have written as well as the need to describe your unwritten masterpiece as they would have written it, blow by blow? You have a character-driven narrative here with a lovely tendency toward being, well, literary. It has been suggested here that you should strip away terms with which the general public may not be familiar. In fact, there are many disturbing suggestions, and I wish to address some of them. I read to become more familiar with worlds other than my own, and I'm sure you do this, too. In the world of Antithesis, "tack," for example, is the linguistic tool of trade, and if a reader accidentally learns a few words marketable in horse culture, more power to that reader. I've read yards of dialogue in which characters refer to each other as "cheeky bugger," but I don't complain about it, even though I couldn't identify a cheeky bugger in a police lineup. When the reader is in Rome, he or she will do as the Romans do and pick up a little slang in the process. I fell into the rhythm of your MC's thoughts, saw through her eyes, surveyed her situation, and found myself ready for the fox hunt. The world you render in Chapter One is believeable, engaging, and a bit magical. And if we leave out all the lingo that corresponds to trade or discipline, won't we have a white-washed clone of every other book (not to mention setting) on the site? You have some magic going here. There's always room for revising and editing, but carving out the soul of a book won't help anyone become a better writer. The best advice I've received was "Don't question the mojo." The advice we receive on authonomy is worth what we paid for it, but please never doubt yourself. There's some fine writing here. Not every manuscript has to kick off with a homicide or a car chase, Thank God.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

An inspired, thoughtful YA romance. Great theme. Impecable characterizations. Sharp, no frills writing. Engaging drama. A sensitive storyline. Well-conceived plot. Lovely writing. Backed.

this is all very good. you have strong voice, and your fluid sentences and balance lines are superb. on e of the best prose styles i have come across here. your writing brings everyuthing to life. one thing you need to watch out for is lingering in expositon. there was no clear plot develpomnt ion the first cjhapter, and in my opnion the first chapter should accompish something relavant to a structured plot. youi have an implied rising action, at the end with the mention of the context or horse show--but it comes a little late, and seems a weak route for such a strong writer. it help map out the narrative in an outline. figure out what you main narrative elements are. these are hte major point that move you plot forward. once you know what they are, assign them to chapters in the order they need to occur. let that outline be your map of what narrative elements need to occur in each chapter. if you find yourself writing on a cjhapter for a long while and you have not accomplished any of the starucutre elements of the chapter, you know right away that you are linger too long in detail s that do not puch the plot forward. your first chapter seems to end a bit arbitraily, without accomplishing much. for you that is not too muich of a promblem, because you writing is interesting enough tht it stands on its own legs. for a lessor skillsed writer this could kill a novel. no one should brea]k one of the basic res, unless they have the skill to break in a way the is interesting enough that they get away with it. lol and i think you do that here, b ut do not make a habit of it is all i am saying.

my only other suggetion is that you use words, and jargon, such as "tack".. (or any word that is trade or decipline specific), which the generally public may not be familiar with, view it as a chance to work in some character development. (that's what i do.) do not assume your reader knows all these horse-related terms. lol when tack appears for the first time you can add something along the lines of... " the art of taking off the saddle and bridel (or however you would put it) is something her father (or whoever) taught her many night,..and she did it now swiftly." little things like this add depth to your character, eliminates the need for a reader to go get a dictionary, and makes you look less presumptuous.

all and all, as i said this, is an engaging read and i would be willing to back it.

blueboy

Hello,

Great job weaving in backstory/all the equestrian info without slowing the story down. Good luck with this! Backed.

Rhiannon
Worthy of Grace

Great writing Allison. As an avid equestrian and foxhunter, I loved every minute. You are a great writer and I eagerly await your next book in the series. Can't wait to find out what new adventures await. And thanks for encouraging me to finish my first novel which I am doing at warp speed. Backed with pleasure.

Great read Allison.

Not surprised it's doing well.

backed
I hope you will consider mine
THE MIND SETTER

This book has been published and is for sale at Amazon and on my website. It is doing better than I ever anticipated and as you all have noted, it is hitting the mark with adults as well as teens. The voice is a teenage girl's, so I am using the language of the Southern US teen girl - as it is this week - you know that changes rapidly. That is my biggest challenge - keeping it in her voice.

The blue are corrections I sent to my typesetter. I don't have a way to go back from pdf to word - but I'll try to do that next time.

Thank you all for your advice - I'll do my best to return the favors!

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Elliott. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your work will appeal to the YA audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Allison, I'll read anything with horses, romance, adventure in it! Love your synopsis. Drew me in to your journey easily and effortlessly. I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter jumping into the novel ocean for the first time - however I can appreciate a good visual, a good structure, and yours is all that an more. Nice! Looking forward to reading more.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

Antithesis
This is a good piece of writing
Backed with pleasure
Eveleebn
- Turning a new leaf
- Like a dot on the horiozn

This is soft and flowing and has a S'more feel to it. I'm confused by the blue letters which are apparent at times on my copy. Were these corrections? I also understand the love she had for the animal, but I would refrain from using the same word over and over for emphasis. If the right verbs and adjectives are selected, they can hold their ground. A charming girl and a promising book. Good luck. Backed.

Hi Allison, this is top class writing from the start. I only had time to read your first chapter but I liked Elliot and Viva the horse and you develop her and some of your other characters very well with their thoughts and dialogue. Some of your text appears in blue.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Dear Allison,
There is no doubt about it...... You're an amazing writer...... Having read you synopsis I was hooked and wanted to purchase that book right from the store...... I commend you for your amazing synopsis which is ultimately the first point of contact with readers, and look forward to reading more of Antithesis..... Congrats on posting it on Authonomy. I will not wish you luck with this one, as I strongly doubt whether you will need it.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

You certainly know your subject and write about it with passion.This really is at the top of its league and will be bought after a quick scan in the book store, well done. I didn't realise that there were fox-hunts taking place in America at all until I read this. I thought it was a weird English obsession. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

It's not often one comes across a writer so in control and obviously comfortable with the language...this is stylish, elegant and interesting, and I suspect will do very well with your target reader...best of luck!
Stewart

ANTITHESIS
A GOOD INTRO BY WAY OF YOUR PITCH.
We all need a bit of love in our lives and thisa fits the bill nicely. Early entrance into adulthood with all its trials and tribulations leading into more immediate dangers and making difficult choices. A good book featuring a coming of age.
Backed
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

You are totally fantastic, Allison! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Allison
Very romantic, this I love...Totally original and well paced...I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha!
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
the VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Shelved Antithesis. Well done , strong visual images pop to mind in your opening descriptions, -This could be a winner, although not my normal read. I have nothing to add to comments already made - so far, but will be reading more and will return if I have anything constructive to say.
I would be very interested in seeing your take on Einstein's Road Trip, an offbeat lit fiction/urban fantasy, if your time allows. Thanks
G.

Wow - this is excellent! Well written and great storyline. Backed.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Been a while since I read a pitch that made me want to read a romance novel. Good luck with your book.

JMC
Among Women

Dear Allison, I love your romantic story :) - especially where Griffen takes Elliott's hand & looks at the bite. :) I'll write in my mind that they get together & live happily ever after. :) Your pitch sounds like my memoir book, but I never get happily ever after, sad to say. ;( Great write with nice tight paragraphs & dialogue, too. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Hi there Allison, I like the look of your pitch.
I have therefore backed your book and will come back to it later to do a proper read which I look forward to.

Could you please take a look at my 1st book THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE?
I would be very pleased.

Kind regards,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest – Series)

:) comment to follow - read & commented on shortly thereafter :)