The Beholder

This was awesome! Who wouldn't want a machine like that only to realize too late that it's not what they'd thought. The story is dramatic and full of suspense, it kept me involved from the very beginning. I have to say I can already see this as a movie and I only read three chapters. You have a vivid style of writing and know how to set the mood of a book, leading us into the thrills slowly. Good luck with this, it's got a lot of promise!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

A lot of suspense and a riveting storyline, which makes the reader want to read on. I read the future for clients myself, so I guess I am a bit of a fortune telling machine too, but I'm harmless. I enjoyed your take on it. This is a well thought out plot with a lot of potential. Happy to back it. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

A bit overwrought at times, but you have good intuition for story telling. Strong voice voice and flowing narrative also. Well done. I’m going to back you and put you on my shelf for day or so. Goodluck with your manuscript. Please read some of my book when when you have time and let me know what you think.


blueboy'

Overwrought? Hmmmm.... care to define exactly what you mean, and from where? Ceriously, I need and want to know.

A bit overwrought at times, but you have good intuition for story telling. Strong voice voice and flowing narrative also. Well done. I’m going to back you and put you on my shelf for day or so. Goodluck with your manuscript. Please read some of my book when when you have time and let me know what you think.


blueboy

There's lots of tension and build up in this novel. I think most readers would feel the urge to read on and on. In Ch 5 i did wonder if your adding background information etc as the mother sees the mess in colleen's room slowed the pace rather frustratingly. When we do see colleen there isn't enough of a shock to justify the delaying tactics in the beginning of the chapter. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

THE BEHOLDER-James Knight
hullo James. Your story spooked me a little since it reminded me of one of those contraptions at our county fair, creepy it was, almost alive. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that if you have.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Hi James,
Love it! I love the writing style, the characters, the imagery you've painted with your words. Editing will remove the minor flaws, but they are few and the story is so engrossing that they are all but imperceptible. Backed by me! Would you mind taking a peek at mine as well? Thanks and congratulations on a wonderful story!
Sincerely, Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession

James, I read all 8 chapters I was hypnotized. Your story is intrigueing and mystifing. I love your descriptives, they have a melody about them. Your imagery is beautiful painting vinettes with ease drawing us into the novel as if we were part of the story.

I love Meghan and Daniel, they are equally captivating for different reasons and you find yourself emotionally invested in both. Your dialogue is natural adding strength to your storyline and surrounding cast of characters. I wish there were more posted and if you do upload I would love to know what happens next. I know thiis will do well and I would but it hands down and recommend it.

I like your style, you build tension gradually, it almost sneaks up on you, because of the way you paint such vivid pictures with your words; we find ourselves carried away by the scenery and then gently smacked by tensity. Well done... Backed with pleasure Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Added The Beholder to our watchlist. The short pitch caught our attention. Will read and comment on later.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Minor typos, all in the fifth chapter - near the beginning of the chapter the "the" is missing in the phrase "looked toward the bathroom". And something is missing from the phrase "What could have Meghan [done to?] bring this loving woman..." And "farm house" where you mean "farmhouse".

Okay. Nits out of the way.

James, this is an absolutely terrific start. Your narrative style reminds me deliciously of Ray Bradbury in how you set up the atmosphere not with scary things, but MOOD. Beautiful. The characters are nicely drawn. I love the pacing - this is a novel that one doesn't want to rush; you string the reader along very nicely, clearly promising something to send chills down the spine, but you don't quite deliver it yet.

This isn't enough to be certain about the novel's promise - you're still setting up the story and characters - but I'm going to go ahead and back this on atmosphere alone. I hope you will eventually put more of the story here so I can get a better taste of how things work out. So often in novels of this subgenre the "dangle" chapters are effective, and then once the horror is fully unveiled it starts to get dull quickly. Even Stephen King has stumbled on this issue in a few of his tomes. That's why I do want to see more, but, for now, backed with my best wishes.

the writing is effective and works well with the flowing narrative; on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Captivating
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

I want to take a look at your novel because someone here whose taste I trust has backed it. But I'm rather put off by all the mistakes in your short and long pitches. I really don't want to waste my time on a ms. as poorly edited as your pitches - where your best foot should be put well forward. This site is a place to display mss. that are past such first-draft sloppiness.

When you take out the first clause of your short pitch, in order to determine the subject of the second clause, it says: "The Beholder is ... how the consequences of that miracle affect the hero's life."

In the second paragraph of your long pitch you use "which" instead of "that", and say "infinitesimal" (spelled wrong) when you mean "considerable" odds. (It is almost impossible to lose against infinitesimal odds, and surely you don't mean that.) Then your tense is wrong; you mean "Realizing that the Beholder's predictions HAVE come true..." The second sentence in the last paragraph is confusing: again, your second clause doesn't match up with the subject: "The power of the story ... queries whetehr having..." Power doesn't query. Perhaps you mean the power of the story lies in knowing (and) in querying whether...

And interesting beginning that is well heralded by your pitch as to what is to come. Grammar and spelling is close to perfect and you have a nice natural flow in your sentence structure. You build a great atmosphere of anticipation with a healthy dose of dread.

Kindest Regards
Alan Dartnall
~The Demon's Vengeance~

The Beholder is a wonderfully written tale that takes the classic fiction story format (where there is a story and a moral) like The Monkey’s Paw and gives it a modern twist. Actually more than anything it reminded me of an old Stephen King story called Word Processor or the Gods. That is not to say that author James Knight is copying those stories. This tale is uniquely his own. It’s just that the witty writing and engaging dark story brings to mind that level of greatness. ‘Who wouldn’t want a machine that could predict the future?’ we think, only to learn that it comes with a terrible price. I would highly encourage the author to continue this tale, as I know many would love to see how it all turns out.

Thoroughly intrigued by your premise and drawn in by the writing, I found it easy to read through the five chapters posted here - good pace, love the underlying tone of menace - what's going to happen next? well done - Backed !
Diane
Good Blood

I enjoyed reading the first three chapters of your novel. There are some great phrases 'fat rain pumelling the glass' for example. I thought Meghan's exuberance at the thought of her party when the storm looked as if it was abating was particularly well done - it was a nice introductory passage. Daniel Hogan's chaotic life looks as if it's about to change thanks to what lies inside Games Towne. The suspense is building up gradually making this a page turner. - Only one minor nit-pic in your pitch - old and archaic - say the same thing - think about ditching one perhaps? K.J.

An incredibly well-written piece. I do think a semi-colon or two would break up some of the long sentences, but apart from that, I have no criticism. Backed.

Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse reduces their effectiveness. Other than that, this is an absorbing paranormal tale. Well-structured. Polished characterizations. Vivid descriptions. Fabulous drama. Masterful storytelling. Potent plot. Clever world building. Incisive writing. A wonderful read. backed.

Great pitch. The story really grabbed me, too. Backed. Jedward (Knut)

Great pitch. The story really grabbed me, too. Backed. Jedward (Knut)

The beholder
Intriguing pitch, it's well written too
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

We loved Chapter 4 when Daniel first encounters the Beholder. Your descriptions really pulled us in. We are anxious to read more! “BACKED!”
CC Brown
Dark Side

Nothing wrong with the storyline but I'm not so sure about the Irish accent...I'm Irish myself and I don't think I can recall ever hearing anyone speak in that way. Doing accents is tricky and sometimes it's best to avoid them altogether...just an idea!
Good luck
Stewart

Thank you Stewart, you're right, of course, accents are difficult to portray just right.

Hi
A well written prelude. Great characterisations.
Just a few nits are below:
'...piled her breakfast... Here's your breakfast...' No need to mention it twice.
'Then, [like a switch light, she came back.], (she) fluttered her fingers ...' [omit as not needed] (insert)
Backed.
Cheers Olga

I read the prelude and found the writing good and the story-line interesting. You have a grasp of description that makes the reader bond with each character. The ending of the prelude offers something unnatural to come to hook the reader into turning the page.

I'm happy to back your book.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

Nothing wrong with the storyline but I'm not so sure about the Irish accent...I'm Irish myself and I don't think I can recall ever hearing anyone speak in that way. Doing accents is tricky and sometimes it's best to avoid them altogether...just an idea!
Good luck
Stewart

Shelved The Beholder. This is a most intriguing story line. Well done and excellent, strong opening- I have nothing to add to comments - so far, but will be reading more and will return if I have anything constructive to say.
I would be very interested in seeing your take on Einstein's Road Trip, an offbeat lit fiction/urban fantasy, if your time allows. Thanks
G.

Finely written and compelling read.

happy to support this.

THE MIND SETTER
I hope you will consider mine
backed

This has the bones of a fine story. the premise is a good one and the build -up of menace is subtly but ably done. I enjoyed what I read and look forward to some more.

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created most memorable main characters in Megan and Daniel. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Is this your first book? I am so engaged, I had to see from whence you came. lol I love that you have selected a child and an adult and will, I assume, since I have just begun to read, the reactions and lifestyle changes of each to The Beholder. And your pitch? Forget about it- lol. Alas, it matters not how long it took you to reach Hemingway's state. You have arrived. I'll back as soon as I clear my shelf. My best to you.

30 September 2010
Strong, rich and eminently expressive prose is a salient feature of The Beholder. The imagery is powerful and graphic. Tempo might, however, present a weakness. In the 'violent flash' sentence, for example, the reader should experience the suddenness with the same sense of shock that Meghan feels but the length and
nature of the parent sentence inhibits the surprise. A shorter structure would ameliorate that loss ion this specific case. Overall, an enthralling read. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

A good solid plot, easily identified in the store by anyone wanting an entertaining read, that's half the job done. From then on you have an enthralling chase with the story told from two viewpoints. Well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear James,
The Beholder is an outstanding piece of literature......... Loved it....... Lost for words these days after so many reviews, I'll sum it up in one........ Brilliant.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Interesting idea with a modern twist. I felt that you hadn't really hit your writing style in Ch 1 (check the number of times you start a paragraph with 'She'). nb typo in your tags: it's 'psychological'. A thriller, IMO, usually starts with a taut, edge of seat chapter, a hook for the reader. Not so sure about yours, as a tight enough hook, I mean.
Have you ever read a short story by Cordwainer Smith, I think called Alpha Ralpha Boulevard, with a fortunetelling machine? Not to compare, I'm just curious. Backed.

THE BEHOLDER
I read a short part of this last night, now the comment.
A strange idea and it does work. We start with a perfectly normal day and are lulled along - until the end of chapter 1, when we get a sudden hint that all is not right. A nice touch. I'm off on holiday this morning so I will hav eot come back as this needs more reading.
Backed
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

You are totally fantastic, James! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Your wordsmithing makes me jealous. Guess I said it all.

Dear James


I loved your short and long pitch both really sell your book which they are meant too so CONGRATS, and love the way you write. Your ability with words to craft an orginal read is amazing. the characters have decided to take up permanent residence but i will insist they leave soom to go home. ha!
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
the VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Hi James,
I'm afraid i only had time to read chapter one as I'm very busy but I thought you had pulled of a clever piece of writing. I mean, everything is so 'normal' -- it's Meghan's 13th birthday and despite the early storm, the day clears up, just like mum said it would, and the girls get their day at the funfair. Suddenly, the menace appears at the end of the chapter. nothing too much...but enough, and the final sentence clinches it. There's real trouble ahead. Meghan is a really lively character and I liked the way you described her 'trouncing' down the stairs -- very 13. I'll read more next week when I'm free.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Dear James, I love your intriguing story :) - so, Meghan will find The Beholder? :) Then, what? :) Your pitch drew me in & your tight dialogue & paragraphs kept me reading. :) Now, what after chapter 5? :) I've backed your book :) - chould you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

Love the premise - it reminds me of the movie "Big" but much, much darker! You are a talented writer and this is easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

Thank you Liz -- I've had this compared to 'Big" many times. However, that is a story about the consequence of one wish being granted. This is about having the answer to any question. and what that would do to someone.

Love the premise - it reminds me of the movie "Big" but much, much darker! You are a talented writer and this is easy to back.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

:) comment to follow - read & commented on shortly thereafter :)