The Stone Coffin

Oliver,
Your bipolar protagonist running into strange and awkward situations, among them seeing ghosts, gives the book its uniqueness. "The Stone Coffin" is meticloulsy crafted with him using the first person POV to make the read even more intimate and introspective. Your descriptives are elaborate though in simple language easy to follow and digest. Thank you so much for sharing

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

This is awesome! I don't feel this way often, but if the first chapter is any indication of the rest of the book, I'd buy this. The writing was polished and the story grabbed my attention from the start. Your evocative descriptions are woven in nicely with the action. A pleasure to back this one. I'd put it on my real shelf at home if I could.
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

Your story line is very unique. Since we are here to help each other get published, I would like to suggest a few things to tighten up your writing. My apologies if I step on toes. I just so enjoy this story I want to help.

Leave something to the reader to figure out, don't walk your reader through every step of the action. Example: Then Elsie called for my mother and I came down from my bedroom to find out what was going on. We don't need to know that Elsie called or that the protagonist was in the bedroom. Sufficient to say.. I came downstairs to find out what was going on. Take a look at your paragraph that begins with: He finished the consultation. Use dialogue to show the action even if it is in past tense. Good luck with a great story! Barbara Silkstone

what a compelling pitch. I can't wait to read your story.
Barbara Silkstone

Still shelved. Thanks Oliver for the extraordinary reading.
This is a marvellous deep and beautifilly written book.
Suggestion.
If you´re ever updating it I would think of elaborating a little.
Sometimes in one paragraph there is so much I need to re-read
a few times. This isn´t bad of course, but leaves the option
to fill it out a little with personal details.
Best wishes.................Mikey (The Free)

Thank you for your very generous comments, Mikey. I wil give some thought to your point about "unpacking" some of the paragraphs and I look forward to reading your book.
Best wishes, Oliver

Very intriguing pitch/intro. Had a quick skim. Chapter one is a little too long for my liking, but I will try and get back to have another read later. Wish you luck with it. Put it up for a whirl on my shelf.
P
The Healer's Stone

Still shelved. Thanks Oliver for the extraordinary reading.
This is a marvellous deep and beautifilly written book.
Suggestion.
If you´re ever updating it I would think of elaborating a little.
Sometimes in one paragraph there is so much I need to re-read
a few times. This isn´t bad of course, but leaves the option
to fill it out a little with personal details.
Best wishes.................Mikey (The Free)

Hi Oliver,
Very intersting book! I've only read the first 3 chapters so far and I really enjoyed them; can't wait to read more.
I think your book could easily start in chapter 2...if you were to put the things in chapter 1 later, as flashbacks, I think that would work, but that's just me, and honestly, I haven't read far enough yet to see how chapter 1 ties in with the rest.
I'm happy to give you a spot on my shelf while I read the rest.
Take care,
Kat
The REAL Poop

Hi Oliver,

I think you've got a promising story - there's definitely intrigue here. Though I think you could make some changes that would make the writing stronger, and support the story more. I've got some comments- hope you don't mind. In the first half of the first chapter, I think it might work better in present tends, and if you opened with the quote. Something more along the lines of: "I am crying out, my mouth filling with water. The pond closes over me, and I sink to the bottom." As you go on, I think the mood of the story would benefit from trimming some language. "The air conditioning is broken, and it is stiflingly hot in the sweaty stew of Buenos Aires in January." Too many adjectives sometimes seems clunky. I think you may be better off starting the second chapter with the second paragraph. Instead of telling us what's about to happen, just show us what happens. I think with some editing you could be on to something, though, so I'd love to watch where this goes.

Much appreciate your comments on the Bermondsey Grail, Oliver. I am currently totally rewriting it, posting as I go, which is why the whole book isn't there yet.
But Hannah's story - this must be heard.

Thank you for your interest, I hope you enjoy the book.
Oliver Hogarth

This plot sounds very intriguing. I'm looking forward to giving it a read fairly soon.

Thank you for your latest very generous comments on The Stone coffin, Mary and I take on board all the points you have made. Most importantly, I’m glad that you were moved by the trials that Hannah experiences and the history on which they’re based which is the core of the story.

I love The Bermondsey Grail with its the time-shift ghosts, the phantom river, the enigmaric Mrs. Lightbourne and the brooch, all conspiring to make the reader want to share Adelaide’s journey into the supernatural and to discover the heart of the mystery. I look forward to reading the rest of the story.

Oliver

I have just finished your book Oliver, and it is really moving. To me the theme is the mindless cruelty of those who decide to oppress others, century after century. The hatred must be born in these oppressors, although I don't go as far as Melanie Klein - not everyone. But the truth of people getting together and turning into wolves is clearly illustrated by the Jewish History that is woven deeply into the story. Again and again exiled and murdered. I learned a lot about Hungary, I did not know that Wallenberg saved those left in the ghetto. And then he himself was lost. The last image is truly haunting, ghosts from recent times to ages past. It was a very bleak ending but truthful. I can imagine it as a film. With that incredibly deeply felt Jewish singing, Cantors. The Kaddish, I hope I have got this right.
One point! The writing between 40/41 was confusing, as it wasn't immediately clear how the villagers found out about Esther.
I thought, when I started reading, that it was going to be a different type of book, purely for entertainment, but you take the reader into a much more subtle and delicate area. I think, from my own experience, which is a bit limited as yet, that agents and publishers will want more of the 'show not tell' way of writing. But it is a most sensitive and affecting book..

I have just finished your book Oliver, and it is really moving. To me the theme is the mindless cruelty of those who decide to oppress others, century after century. The hatred must be born in these oppressors, although I don't go as far as Melanie Klein - not everyone. But the truth of people getting together and turning into wolves is clearly illustrated by the Jewish History that is woven deeply into the story. Again and again exiled and murdered. I learned a lot about Hungary, I did not know that Wallenberg saved those left in the ghetto. And then he himself was lost. The last image is truly haunting, ghosts from recent times to ages past. It was a very bleak ending but truthful. I can imagine it as a film. With that incredibly deeply felt Jewish singing, Cantors. The Kaddish, I hope I have got this right.
One point! The writing between 40/41 was confusing, as it wasn't immediately clear how the villagers found out about Esther.
I thought, when I started reading, that it was going to be a different type of book, purely for entertainment, but you take the reader into a much more subtle and delicate area. I think, from my own experience, which is a bit limited as yet, that agents and publishers will want more of the 'show not tell' way of writing. But it is a most sensitive and affecting book..

Oh Oliver! Hannah's story. It is a novel in itself, and the way it is written, without being overdramatic, just giving the terrible details, it really works. I was completely taken back to Hungary, and the unbearable suffering. it was so involving and felt absolutely true. The awful moment when she missed Wallenberg's rescue atIempt. And of course - should she leave Hungary? I have just reached the discovery in the secret hiding place (not putting plot details here) and this makes her decision retrospectively heartbreaking. The whole doll episode, and the kind man in the shop was also extremely moving.
From the down to earth writing point of view, again, once more, I feel you could precis the conversations, and descriptions of people fetching things etc.(But not in Hannah's story, that seems perfect to me) But the story itself is compulsive reading, and I will be back soon.
Small point. In chapter 26 near the beginning, when Ilse is speaking the text suddenly changes for a couple of lines. I am reading on a grey background, but should think it is in bold suddenly. But this is so minor.
Oh and I meant that I was worried about Katya - nothing to do with a plot problem!

This plot sounds very intriguing. I'm looking forward to giving it a read fairly soon.

I have really got into this story Oliver, and now I have to go away and won't be able to get to a computer til Monday! Rats! I am up to chapter 19 - it's wonderful to read about a kind father. And his revelation is exactly the sort of thing that does happen. I don't want to be a plot spoiler, so won't mention things, but Katya!?? Help I am worried.
From the technical point of view I think you could cut it down, in small ways, in lots of places. Just a few phrases here and there. Sometimes I feel that I am gettng information twice. Will get back to you on that when I have finished. But for interest and involvement - Yes!!

This is a really intriguing plot. I chanced upon your book because it came up on the home page as I was signing on to authonomy! The opening is immediately gripping. When I began to read the rest of it I felt that it could do with cutting down and moving along at a quicker pace. This may be because I have been rewriting and deleting large chunks of my own book and also my natural impatience to get to the obsessive love! The spider dream, for example is really vivid and effective, but I think that there is a bit too much conversation generally. I will get back to you when I have read more.