The Adventures of Trinity Smith

THE ADVENTURES OF TRINITY SMITH-E.C.Hinrichs
hullo E.C. You know a person, or whatever, always seems to come to a realization when its almost too late. But, a great story. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that if you have.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

I enjoyed this and the plot unrolls very well. However, I couldnt believe your MC's cool in the Prologue. I just don't think someone can be witty and sassy with death threatening that way.
Backed
Lara
Good for Him

Great title, original plot and a damn fine read!
Not much I can say, apart from that I really like this and look forward to seeing it in print.
Excellent stuff.

Backed.
Simon,
Yuko Zen is Somewhere Else.

You are totally fantastic, E.C.! How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Hi E.C.,

slick writing & taut pace make this a very enjoyable read. beware of repetition, the opening paragraph in Chapter 3 for instance where 'I' appears once too often.

other than that,

backed

Rob

GET LENIN

I think our paths have crossed before, but can't see my backing. Will do so now to make sure you are up there in the rankings. Your book is well written with a great plot. Backed. Eunice - THe Temple Dancer.

A good marriage of vampire, scifi and thriller in an engaging story, well written, compelling and a very believable world, backed

A interesting read, good voice nice tempo and ambience. This might do well as a screenplay. Consider writing it as a script, shades of Minority Report, beware. And every good cosmologist knows that time is not linear and all interventions to past, present, or future reek havoc with the universe and all might be lost.

Backed

Scorselo

You have a great voice, your narrative is engaging and unique. So is the premise of your story, it's the kind of book I'd have bought in the store. The characters are memorable and likable. I'm not sure if you need the prologue, but that's a style issue and it's hard for someone who is not the writer to suggest cutting it. Your book would still be strong without it, that's my point. Good luck with this, it's got tremendous potential!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Excellent work. I love how you start off. It grabs the reader's attention and your easy flow keeps one reading. Great theme and good plot. I love the characterization of Trinity and she's a likeable character, as is Damaon
Good tempo and solid story that has wide appeal.

Movie-esque

backed
THE MIND SETTER

I enjoyed your writing very much. You have a great wit and passionate style that pulled me alone. Here are some of the notes I took.

This premise has already been done, but I think maybe this could work since you have put a slight twist on it.


Maybe seven years instead of 7 years

You have quirky voice that is strangely compelling, though at times some of your characters reactions are not grounded in the text.

The prologue is engaging, though its purpose escaped me. Not sure what it was intended to accomplish, but I read it fast so I may have missed something. Remember that a prologue should accomplish some context or symbolism relevant to the main character or theme. In other words, if done properly, it should provide a lens through which to view the main character, or the novel as a whole--or at the very least provide an example of an over arching theme intrinsic to the novel.


You have many strong narrative elements, but the narrative itself seems to wander. Your writing “your expression” could be a little more economical. I think with some editing you could smooth it out some. Also, change up your sentence structures for a more natural story telling voice.

Ok, by the end of the third chapter I can still say you have an amazing voice, rough at times, but highly energetic and compelling. My concern at the end of the chapter is that you seem to be lingering waaay too long in material that seem irrelevant to any plot. In fact, I’m hard pressed to find a plot at all. You have to stay focused on narratives elements that move your plot forward. This far into the novel some structure hinting to rising action or some dilemma (in relation to your pitch of the psychic organization), ought to be present. Without more of a plot your novel will not find its legs.


All and all you are a wonderful writer. Your voice is strong. You have “how” to write down very well, but “what” you are writing ( the structure) seems to be wandering. I admite I read it fast, but still, by now I should have some notion of the plot, and I don’t feel I do. It may help to write from an outline. Dividing up your narrative elements (in the order that they occur) and assigning them to chapters is an outline style that can help organize and structure your plot over the course of chapters. That way you know right away if you are lingering too long in a chapter without accomplishing the plot structure.




I did enjoy your writing. It was very interesting and compelling to read. And wish you luck with your book. I will be willing to back you after I’ve a read a bit more. In the meantime, please read some of my book when you have time and let me know what you think. Feedback on anything chapter six or further back is appreciated.



i hope this is helpful
blueboy

The Age of Rhinestone

Lots of potential here. Similar to 'Minority report' with the intention of stopping crimes by psychic means before they occur. Some typo's, chapter one, "I took a deep (Breath) in" Lots of potential though. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

The Adventures of Trinity Smith has a heroine whose bravery I applaud and the story about her adventures is filled with suspense. Backed.

I’m pressed for time and only read your pitch, prologue and first chapter. I like the story (HALO sounds interesting) and your voice. Even if narration heavy in places it's good "telling, so I’m backing it.
If you want me to, I could return a give you a more in-depth comment.
Please take a look at mine…comment and backing will be appreciated.

Trinity is a character easy to engage with, the story is action packed from the start and the pace maintains a consistent flow. The premise has interesting aspects and this adds to the book as there are some unusual concepts.
Backed,

Lisa

A fast paced story with a feisty heroine. You've created some great characters and given them some believable dialogue. A welcome new approach to Sci-fi.
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

I love it! What a great opening! This is a charmer. Best of luck with it backed from Jedward (Knut)

I love it! What a great opening! This is a charmer. Best of luck with it from Jedward (Knut)

Dear E.C., I love your wonderful romantic story & hope you write many more. :) Was wondering if it would end happily ever after, but it looks that way :) - children & all. :) Your pitch pulled me in to read your enchanting book & your crisp dialogue & paragraphs kept me totally drawn in - it was like, this story is so good, I'd like it to go on forever! :) Great write!! :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Trinity. I also like your use of the first person narrative voice as this allows you to explore her thoughts and feelings. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your science fiction thriller a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Herein lies the adventures... The only question on her mind: Who is really the bad guy?
world is TURNED upside down. She finds she must still complete her job.
...typical day at the office. As it turns out, her latest case might be more...
...a reverend who seeks out and exploits the weak. (state what his own mean are)
...to terms with life and heartbreak while sorting out reality.

As interesting as this almost is, it could be a lot clearer. Keep it simple. Tell what your story is about. Think of it as 30 seconds in an elevator with an agent or publisher. Leave no questions in their minds or give them a reason not to read your story. What is HALO? What is Trinity's job? How is this different from Rachel Morgan's runner job in Cincinnati. It does seem to have similar elements without the death sentence or everyone out to kill her for quitting the agency.

Good luck with your book.

JMC
Among Women

THE ADVENTURES OF TRINITY SMITH
An unusual combination for a story. I enjoyed what I read, some nice parts but you do need to spend some time looking at your grammar. Sort this out and you will have a much better book for your market.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

This is well written with an intriguing storyline. Chick lit and SF make for a unique read! Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room
A Fine Pickle

:) comment to follow - read & commented on shortly thereafter :)

Your first chapter open up the story and gives the reader an insight as to what is to come from this thrilling book.
It is all important for the begining to do what yours does, draw the reader in to want to know more.
A book can succeed or fail on the first chapter. You have your prioritys right at the moment which puts you at the front of the queue, I back it . SHELVED.

kind regards,

Neville THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE.

Shades of Lara Croft etc here...I think you had better get the language elements straightened out first before you go posting any more! Backed for the effort...
Cheers
Stewart

Great work E.C. Backed on the strength of your synopsis and will return with further comments.
Helen
The Last Dream

Interesting pitch but you have to watch your grammer and typos seriously.

Julian
What's Worth Working For