Tybalt & Theo

It's books like this that make it impossible for me to get any work done around the house, or to move my watch list along! This gets funnier with each chapter.

Hilarious bits like:
(Theo has just been transported from 2008 to 1608 and is in prison, mistaken for Tybalt who has stolen a loaf of bread)
""My name is Theobald Ratchett, and I am an investment banker."
"Tybalt Ratsshift we know you art. In-vest-meant wan-ker? What is that?"
"It's what I do."
"No, what you do is steal from the poor!"
Theo could not reasonably argue with that.

(Regarding Theo, who has just been given 1608 clothing_
"The new clothes felt like they were made of woven straw, and he was pretty sure he was not the only thing inhabiting them. It gave a whole new meaning to the word 'discomfort.' "

This is very clever. It keeps getting funnier and funnier -- I love it, I'm delighted to back it, and I wish you much success. You've done an excellent job with this! The commentary on the state of the economy, the banking industry, and the loss of manufacturing jobs "Some Prime Minster, I forget her name"!! ... This is a gem! A real pleasure to read! I can't wait for more to be posted!!! Hopefully ALL of it!! 10 chapters is just a tease!!
Wishing you much success!
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Keef, I have rightly praised a range of books on here very highly and for a variety of reasons. Now I'm going to laud this one:
Brilliant premise. Very ambitious to attempt. never mind pull off - you've done that with accomplishment.
Normally I hate dialected speech but yours is spot on, brilliant. The work already has polish and I noticed no editorial nitpicks.

Your characters are super, the interactions between them flow so naturally that nothing distracts from the gripping story that is unfolding. You have crossed time periods very effectively. The dialogue is crisp and clean. You make each character leap from the page - great names for them too.

There are several works on here that have made me desirous of reading them through but not one other would top a list of imminent priorities for me - just too busy. Funnily enough, I don't read much fiction (I'm very fussy and like doing other things). But I'm away in a few days for a break - believe it or not, I would take this as a paperback and read it while away - and that just doesn't happen because there is always something I'd prefer to do than read.

A marvellous book - I'm sorry but I can't conceive of this not being published. I could be wrong, but if I were it would be hard to imagine anything at all ever being published. Thanks for posting this fine book. And good luck with its promotion. Outstanding.

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

I love this! I love the world-weary theo and the hapless Tybalt. This is funny and interesting and I look forward to buying a copy when it is published. There is no problem I can see with the writing - it's all good and I wish you the best of luck with this fantastic project. Shelved, of course.
Jonathan Watts
Dread Fist

Great concept. I love time travel books and, in view of the economy, this is very timely. And funny, I might add. Your opening was clever and very English (I'm first generation Canadian born of British parents, aye.)

I especially enjoyed it because my historical novel about French Huguenots who escape to London involves a goldsmith/banker by the name of Abraham Thibault. Quite a coincidence.

Really enjoyed the scene where Tybalt finds himself going to be "eaten" by the subway train.

I admire how you are able to stay in the dialect of the time. I haven't done that and I know it's very difficult. You do an excellent job and it certainly keeps us in the moment. I like this. Don't know why I haven't seen it before. Shelved.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

This is fantastic! What an incredibly clever idea. I can't say enough about how impressed I am; from the details about London past and present and how they intersect, to the points of view of someone observing the past or future from a sort of involuntary time travel perspective - everything! Even the little asterisk remarks are a crack up. This is what I long to find in a good read and I look forward to finishing it one day.
best,
Georgina - The Time Baroness

This is a superb read. I have enjoyed reading three chapters. It is just the type of story I like. Hope you don't mind if I say it is easy reading. The premise is perfect, The characters cleverly and accurately portrayed for their positions in life. Using the financial situation is a great idea, but is there a risk of it dating the book, or making it difficult to understand in a few years from now? I am answering my own question here, but perhaps all financial crashes have the same characteristics and any intelligent reader will get past this.
Clever and funny scenes that would almost certainly happen if one was transported into another time. You use this all to great effect
Happy to back your excellent work
best regards
Alice

Great pitch, and well put together, relevant and funny

This is quite simply Brilliant. I love the way it is written and crafted. I know this will go all the way.

OH Yes...BACKED

Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

Keef,
A rather extraordinary read! - I like the manner in which you created past and future settings and truly, Tybalt seems like a funny kind of guy. Perhaps, his simple-mindedness just has him stitched in too many clumsy spots making him a comical piece of work for the modern era - he's comical but likable really.

I think this is a promising novel; the kind that is imbued with a little bit of everything all tossed in one good book -- enough to please a wide crowd who do not mind twirling through the rather tumultuous time of the 1600s and then relating to the economic meltdown we are all so sore about these days!

I know I am game for that!
Backed,

Rome
Directives for Murder
Beyond the Shadows

Keef,
First, I have to say my husband is a Williamson.
Regardless, I like the punch your writing invokes.
Very interesting plot for the times, should give it a market. It is what the public is interested in reading.
Hope you make it to the shelves.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

trading places with a scifi twist and a wonderful change on the grass is always greener theme. Lots of visuals, separating the two worlds and deftly acheived switch that shows the appeal of our world to someone that has never experienced it before.

Clever idea. Writing is good, polished, easy to read.

I thought it all flowed pretty well until you got to Mr Pradeep. His speech patterns seemed to alternate between pre-war barrow boy and Brixton rudeboy. Not sure you've got that right.

Sheinstein felt a little caricatured. Depends what kind of tone you're going for, but at the moment he came across a bit pantomime-Scrooge.

Theo's financial problem comes out of the blue a bit. Perhaps some indication that things aren't going smoothly for him (at breakfast) would lead up to him taking a huge risk.

It's very fast paced and i think you can afford to slow it down a little bit, some variation in pace.

Overall it's very engaging. Backed.

Dear Keef
Well I backed this book and commented some time ago, but I cannot find it. I really thought it worth the time to re do it , so I took the time. CONGRATS on such talent and also the skill it took to craft.
BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
I do hope you will review my book, comment and most of all BACK it. but either way the BEST of luck with yours
Denise
The Letter

Well done. to celebrate it's 'Pink robe with bunnies on the pockets' for everyone.

backed

Odeb- GHOSTWOMAN

Dear Keef, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed edited memoir version, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Fabulous story, with well developed characters and excellent dialogue. The transition between accents is flawless, and jumping between periods only adds to the suspense of what you know is coming. A great hook at the end of the first chapter kept me reading. Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Hi Keef,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. There you go, more people should just have fun and lighten up. Good luck with this.

How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Tbis is a great read. In places it is truely funny, and that is a skill which, in my humble opinion, is by far the most difficult to master. (Anyone can do serious! He wrote, tongue in cheek!)
But not only that, it offers a fresh take on the current state of the world of finance and money. Only fiction can do this!
All the best
Mal

A most entertaining and hilarious read! I will back this as soon I find room.

What an interesting pitch. Great opportunities for humour and insights, and the first chapter reads like a train.
I'm backing this with pleasure.
Karien - A Bird in a Pram

Tybalt crouched down behind two fat wenches and managed to squueze his hand between two ample hips...'
I never mentioned anything about cliche...I just wished to point out an alternative to the existing structure...and yes, you're right, trains in HK don't rumble...sorry if I offended your artistic sensibilities!
Stewart

...between their ample hips...
...tube trains don't really rumble, do they?
Sorry for nit-picking but I mean well. This is very good storytelling...fast-paced and direct with lots of humour...I plan to dip into this again
Best wishes
Stewart

Dear Keef --

You set a breakneck pace in your opening chapter, hurtling Theo & Tybalt toward one another with baggage trailing each of them, setting up the conflicts to come. Your snappy dialogue is a pleasure to read, readily balanced against the narrative and always propelling the story forward. You make your readers feel like they're in good hands from the tautness of the narrative to the research that clearly informs your descriptions of Tybalt's world.

One question: why call it Tybalt & Theo? Why not Theo & Tybalt, since Theo is introduced first?

One small nitpick: use of "he [or she] said" when not needed. Ex. Chapter 1, para 6: "'Bullocks,' he said, removing his tie..." A more active approach might be "'Bollocks.' He yanked off his tie..."

These are, of course, small (and subjective) concerns that in no way obscure the larger entertainment value of Tybalt & Theo, so we back you with pleasure. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

Hi Keef- I really enjoyed your first chapter ,it was very easy to digest and there was little that distracted the mind from being right there in the scene always a sign of great writing. Backed with pleasure.

Best Wishes

Richard

You have created a brilliant concept and backed it up with a well written story that is of interest to the reader. Could you have a look at my novel The Sacred Pool.

Laurence

I backed your book based solely on the fact that it contains no dwarves, elves, vampires, nor trolls. That's refreshing on this site.

Oh yeah, the writing is spectacular, too. I really like your sparse use of adjectives in favor of strong, dynamic verbs that drive the narration. Good dialogue, too -- especially involving Tybalt. Tisn't easy pulling off discourse from another period.

Looking forward to diving in deeper.

Shelved.

-g

no dwarves, elves or vampires. this already has a lot going for it

Keef this is so funny, having very little respect for banks and politics the reality of the story combined with the extremes makes this a quality story,backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jdub

The initial jerks to different times are a little difficult to cotton onto but when you get to Newgate we're there with Theo knowing disaster is coming.

good start
Backed
Rosalind - Good For Him

Very original premise and idea. First chapter really sets up the story. get a good feel for Theoi's personality. have to come back to it when there's more time.

This is a great book. I love books about time travel and teh human situation. A pleasure to back.

Anthony
Aqua Omega

The tone of this is so original. It's sort of darkly funny, but yet overtly funny in a slapstick kind of way at times. Very engaging and such an amusing and original premise. Your characters seem to be cut from the same cloth, only 400 years apart. Both hapless, both broke, both on the verge of something bad. Really, such an original idea and your writing is spot on. The names of your conspirators: hilarious. Great job.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

I love this! What a wild, fun ride. More, please!

Amy
Love Match

I have hardly anything to criticise in this witty tale, so I'll tell you what I particularly enjoyed. My favourite piece of true wit was in Ch 3, when Theo says he is an investment banker. ( "No, what you do is steal from the poor.' Theo could not reasonably argue with that. ) I also enjoyed the small note about the food in expensive restaurants, and I enjoyed Tybalt trying to stop people rashly entering into 'the belly of the beast.' The clarity of the bold-faced headings early on was good, and necessary, whether or not it is conventional to have headings in fiction. The only thing that I think you should change is when a chap in the 17th century, says that Theo is 'talking shite.' I'm pretty sure that spelling shit, 'shite,' is a very modern thing. Better be shit.
Your story definitely deserves its high ranking, and I do hope it gets to the top. Marj.

Timely and out-of-timely tale. I really like your voice here, it feels authentic for both time periods. The narrative also invites the reader in. After one chapter, I don't really have any critique to offer. I'm happy to back this and hope it continues to do well.
Craig
The Job

An original and wonderfully satirical take on the time swap theme. Very well written and amusing. The dialogue is convincing and that imagined from the past perfectly reflects our twenty first century idea of fifteenth century speech.
My only nitpick relates to the occasional referenced footnotes, which I found distracting.
Backed with pleasure.
James Rainsford. (The Incredible Layla Moon)

What a fun story! Tends to give one a sense of perspective on the 'Economic Disaster of 2008', doesn't it...there have been worse things.

Well done, with a wry, understated humour. Bravo!

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More...From The Beginning)

Dear Keef, Thank you for sharing your historical fiction comedy. :) Your blurb is good because it prepared me to read your book. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

The dialogue is entertaining and sustains interest. Going back and forth in quick successon really works. The different types of dialogue really keep you in tune with the story. Well written and very best of luck with this! mariecapri

It's books like this that make it impossible for me to get any work done around the house, or to move my watch list along! This gets funnier with each chapter.

Hilarious bits like:
(Theo has just been transported from 2008 to 1608 and is in prison, mistaken for Tybalt who has stolen a loaf of bread)
""My name is Theobald Ratchett, and I am an investment banker."
"Tybalt Ratsshift we know you art. In-vest-meant wan-ker? What is that?"
"It's what I do."
"No, what you do is steal from the poor!"
Theo could not reasonably argue with that.

(Regarding Theo, who has just been given 1608 clothing_
"The new clothes felt like they were made of woven straw, and he was pretty sure he was not the only thing inhabiting them. It gave a whole new meaning to the word 'discomfort.' "

This is very clever. It keeps getting funnier and funnier -- I love it, I'm delighted to back it, and I wish you much success. You've done an excellent job with this! The commentary on the state of the economy, the banking industry, and the loss of manufacturing jobs "Some Prime Minster, I forget her name"!! ... This is a gem! A real pleasure to read! I can't wait for more to be posted!!! Hopefully ALL of it!! 10 chapters is just a tease!!
Wishing you much success!
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

I wish you the very best of luck

The premise grabs, naturally. There is a risk that credit-crunch driven novels could lose their edge in a couple of years, but that gives you plenty of time to find a market (assuming any of us have any money for books by the end of it). Once grabbed, the pace simply refuses to let go. I was wondering whether to suggest a little more detail, but no, speed over detail definitely works for this book. Some of the dialect is, perhaps, a little overcooked - I suspect Shakespeare's writing wasn't representative of the man on the street even in his time - but it doesn't jar.

Anyway, I think you've got something here that would play into the market of someone like Jasper Fforde if you can find the backing. Backed.

Theo and Tybalt are marvelous characters. This book is ambitious in both its scope and plot. Well done in also using a timely subject matter. The writing flows smoothly. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

"Thou hast made a most excellent read in the history of quill and parchment."

I found it very imaginative and entertaining with marvelous characters and dialog.

Backed and supported. : )

This is great stuff Keef. It certainly kept me interested, too long I am afraid, I must move on. You have a very good book here. I wish you GOOD LUCK. Backed earlier, sorry about the tardy comment.
Norman.

When I read economic meltdown, I woke up. The scene with Tybalt was reminiscent of "Scrooge" and had me going in that direction before being jerked back to the present time period. Good writing with the ability to shift smoothly between time periods without losing momentum. I liked the headings, alerting us to the changes in time though at first I didn't. Nice.

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

Great concept, such a brilliant premise and I hope it's published soon so I can hold a copy in my hands. The writing, as far as I can see, is flawless. You neither over-describe the scene nor leave us confused, and your characters are very real.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken." - Relic

Opportunistic use of the recent economic crisis, backed up with brilliant writing (pace and style stand out, for me).
Good luck ;-)

I got into your story without having much background. Backed. Thank you for backing Roughneck.
Donna

Amusing characters in a well trodden scenario but one you manage make sound fresh and new. And the way you keep up the pace of the telling is very skilful. There are a couple of places where I found the dialogue (especially Tybalt) slowed my reading and grated a bit but not sufficiently to dim the enjoyment. There were also a number of paragraphs that were long and heavy and I found myself having to go back to re-read. This of course could be more to do with reading off a screen than anything else but I do think some paragraphs could be split. That aside these are very minor issues in an otherwise very good book. Well done and good luck. Gabriel.

This is a book with a clever premise. characters switching roles is no original but it's original here because these two are not the usual father and son or mother or daughter but two strangers who suddenly switch places and times. The mark of the book is your ability to describe 1608 so well, it seems as real as the present. Good story telling. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

This is a very funny, very original tale! It reminds me of a film, can't remember the name, where a Lord and his idiot were transported to current day England, and their escapades. This should get to the top of the heap, and I will help it by BACKING it.

Best,
Robert

Very good read! I loved the transition through time. It was like watching a screen play. Your characters are well defined. I am backing you and placing you on my shelf! I need time to read more. Thanks for the read! I wish you success in publishing. Sincerely. Marie - 'Mud Pies and Spirits'.

A really great storyline, so original. Loved the beginning. Loads of potential.
All the best
DP Walker
Five Dares

Great idea, well executed. Very strong writing here, particularly the dialogue. Reassuringly easy to back, and it deserves to be.