A New Day

A New Day.
By Ruth Hannah.

It’s quite a while now since I backed your book.
You have certainly been hard at work editing and formatting the lay-out.
What a difference...crisp and clear...easy on the eye, excellent to read.
You have also changed your short and long pitch...for the better of course.
As regards your book. Brilliant.
This is certainly good reading. A sixteen year old girl, passing her exams and celebrating the fact, shortly to find her whole world crashing down around her.
You describe the events of her parent’s marriage break-up very well...the trauma unleashed ...the sadness of the occasion,
Also Ruth’s attempts to push the heartache it’s causing aside and continue with her college work.
Your description and vivid scenes bring the book alive.
Although I haven’t read all of what’s here, I’m convinced that your book will continue to flow in this theme throughout the rest of the book.
Pleased to star-rate it accordingly, I will get back to it again...Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE.

A New Day: What a breathtaking beginning. A group of 16-year olds celebrate around the dinner table- full of hope for their future. But the hook at the end of the first chapter is filled with that sense of doom and we read on, intrigued. Ruth, a romantic daydreamer is reliant on Claire but she has no concept of change. In fact she is reliant on a steady home and a successful future. Her mother leaves and she doesn’t know why. This is a poignant reminder of the devastation a separation causes to all parties involved. Ruth begins to change – her heart hardened by circumstance. She is hurt, withdrawn and wallowing in a bad place. I inhaled all four first chapters and wanted to read more. The pace of this book is fast and the writing, fluent. My senses tell me this book is full of hope with many identifying features for others in the same situation. Things clearly get worse before they get better. PTL for a great message! Highly starred. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

I have just been reading your book Ruth, and I must say I was totally overwhelmed by it. It's beautifully written and is so touching. I can't wait to read more. Though it's sad, it is also full of hope and your trust in God shines through. A truly inspirational story! Backed and on w/l with stars.

KATE GRIMES-LIZZIE-CUPPA TALES- TALES OF WILLOW GREEN

As promised I've taken a look at your book. I had time for two chapters today, and thought this was very well written. There were no mistakes/typos, the sentence structure was just right, and the use of language and flow of the chapters was very good.

It must be hard writing your own story, allowing strangers to read about your personal experiences. But I commend you on being able to do this. For one thing, I couldn't do it because I'd get my butt kicked by my family :)

What you've written in these chapters was also interesting. I also felt your sorrow at being left behind by your mother. What I gathered from your words, it not only hurt that she left, but that she chose to take Stephen with her. Adults have to make hard decisions, and no matter what the child will be hurt in the process where divorce is concerned.

Best wishes, Marita.

Wow! So far I've enjoyed this immensely. I've been told on some occasions that true-life stories/memoirs will only be enjoyed if they are by famous people, but that is absolutely not so. Many people love to read about other people, famous or not, and this is a very moving, intense, and yet also remarkably lively and accessible piece of writing. I'm taking a rest for the time being; but I want to read more. I've rated you 6 stars.

Hello Ruth:

I began reading A New Day and it struck me that, although this is not tagged as YA, you do have a voice which speaks particularly to young people.

Blessings to you as you speak life and comfort through your writing.

James

Hello Ruth
book- A New Story-

after browsing through the most read weekly books, i came across your book
Glad i did, as i can relate to this story and i am sure many more people will.
read 12 chapters and will read more later as it is a very engrossing read.
You have gone through a very heart-breaking and difficult time; however i am
glad to read that you have found solace in God.
You have laid your heart on the line in this story and to that i say; 'well done'
As a true story, this book is up there with the best i have read on the site
i give it my six stars with pleasure

tom bye
from hugs to kisses'
please read some of mine, also a true story, however fictionalized. thanks

Hello Ruth
book- A New Story-

after browsing through the most read weekly books, i came across your book
Glad i did, as i can relate to this story and i am sure many more people will.
read 12 chapters and will read more later as it is a very engrossing read.
You have gone through a very heart-breaking and difficult time; however i am
glad to read that you have found solace in God.
You have laid your heart on the line in this story and to that i say; 'well done'
As a true story, this book is up there with the best i have read on the site
i give it my six stars with pleasure

tom bye
from hugs to kisses'
please read some of mine, also a true story, however fictionalized. thanks

Finally made room for you on my shelf....incredible story; I am certain it will touch many readers.

Best of success to you,
Justis Call
Snow Bound

Hello Ruth.
A new day--

For against staying together, that is the question?
Much debate about the pros and cons of this delicate matter.
Like yourself i believe in God and prayer and the knowledge that all things
will sort itself out in the long run or sooner, as they say ' what's to be will be'
so offer it up.
I can relate to your story in every way, and have had experience first hand.
strange, my sons name is Stephen.

The is one heartbreaking story, redeemed by the ray of hope one knows is always coming;
and come it does.
Very readable and written in a very clear, concise, and straight- forward manner.
i got so engrossed i read all chapters posted. and will ask my daughter to read it also.

tom bye
-from hugs to kisses'
six stars in its genre
please oblige and read some of mine. about a boy ,Stephen as he grows up in similar circunstances.
thank you kindly Ruth

What an intense life story. Very well told and and quite touching. I have not completed the book, but I do thank you for sharing your story so poignantly.

Wishing you the best!
Justis Call
Snow Bound

A New Day.
By Ruth Hannah.

It’s quite a while now since I backed your book.
You have certainly been hard at work editing and formatting the lay-out.
What a difference...crisp and clear...easy on the eye, excellent to read.
You have also changed your short and long pitch...for the better of course.
As regards your book. Brilliant.
This is certainly good reading. A sixteen year old girl, passing her exams and celebrating the fact, shortly to find her whole world crashing down around her.
You describe the events of her parent’s marriage break-up very well...the trauma unleashed ...the sadness of the occasion,
Also Ruth’s attempts to push the heartache it’s causing aside and continue with her college work.
Your description and vivid scenes bring the book alive.
Although I haven’t read all of what’s here, I’m convinced that your book will continue to flow in this theme throughout the rest of the book.
Pleased to star-rate it accordingly, I will get back to it again...Well done!!

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE.

Hi Ruth.
I have read the 1st 5 chapters and found it very easy to read. It moves along quickly and makes me want to know more.
Some of your descriptions are so easy to relate to, eg. about daydreaming and having a naive/idealistic view of life. Also the bit about going to the pub and how "after a few drinks life seemed so much better" - yes, have experienced this !
And in Chap 4 that phone call. This was shocking and almost moved me to tears - how unimaginable and terrible to receive a call like that from your Dad. The person you needed to look after you.
Have backed it and will read more soon.

c girl

Hi Ruth!

sorry it took so long to read it.

Very impressed with your writing and courage to reveal your emotions on paper for everyone tor read. Love the chapter titles and the first chapter is a great setup to the next. Your writing style is an easy read and at an easy pace. Kudos also to your memory.

Best of luck and happily backed.

Don

"Grateful"

Dear Ruth, I read your book before & commented on it & just came back & read your poem again in ch.19. :) "Go & sin no more" is what Jesus told me, too, when I was in my 20s & had turned away & Jesus said that he who is forgiven much, loveth much. :) Now, His gospel is read round the world through my 2 books. :) Thank you for sharing your story, too. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I really appreciate your encouraging words in your book. :) Yes, Jesus is the answer & only wants us to please Him. :)

A gentle, careful prose that slowly unfolds your heart. Very moving, and you paint the picture of the shattering effect of the separation so graphically. Good to know that prayers acted as some glue towards the end. I wonder how you will continue the story in the years to come?
Kevin

I guess it's written ok. But what is there in this story that should interest me? There seems to be a lot of biography's written on this website, but I don't see what's so special about any of them so far. Maybe your's is different but I didn't see it from the first few chapters and the pitch wasn't exciting enough to make me want to read more.

Good luck.

Ruth:

I have put you back on my shelf and will lleave you there through April.

Earl

I read the 1st 2 chapters and scanned several comments. Bookshelf for having the courage to publicly tell your private story.

I'll read some more later and update my thoughts, but an excellent story (so far).

S.

Ruth:

I admire your courage to tell this story.

I wish you all the best in the future and hope this book does well.

Madeline x

This story is a story which you could really get into, a likeness to true life.

A New Day: What a breathtaking beginning. A group of 16-year olds celebrate around the dinner table- full of hope for their future. But the hook at the end of the first chapter is filled with that sense of doom and we read on, intrigued. Ruth, a romantic daydreamer is reliant on Claire but she has no concept of change. In fact she is reliant on a steady home and a successful future. Her mother leaves and she doesn’t know why. This is a poignant reminder of the devastation a separation causes to all parties involved. Ruth begins to change – her heart hardened by circumstance. She is hurt, withdrawn and wallowing in a bad place. I inhaled all four first chapters and wanted to read more. The pace of this book is fast and the writing, fluent. My senses tell me this book is full of hope with many identifying features for others in the same situation. Things clearly get worse before they get better. PTL for a great message! Highly starred. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Ruth,
I'm happy to see you climbing the Authonomy charts. I like the reincarnation, for lack of a better word, the main character goes through and how she is freed with the words from the pastor "God loves you..."

Best of luck with it.

Rick Bettencourt
Summerwind: Closed for the Season

I have just been reading your book Ruth, and I must say I was totally overwhelmed by it. It's beautifully written and is so touching. I can't wait to read more. Though it's sad, it is also full of hope and your trust in God shines through. A truly inspirational story! Backed and on w/l with stars.

KATE GRIMES-LIZZIE-CUPPA TALES- TALES OF WILLOW GREEN

Couple things I noticed in the first chapter:

In your first paragraph you say 'although we were not what you may term well off...' which implies that a statement about wealth will be made next - but the rest of your sentence is about your pets instead. Instances like this are going to make your writing seem stilted, choppy. Make sure that each sentence stays on topic. :)

The daydreaming is an interesting sideline, but you take us out of the action in order to do it. I would include something about your surroundings that you were not paying attention to. So perhaps, 'the laughter of my friends, the tinkling of silverware, the bright lights of cars driving by, all faded into the background as I dreamed of..." etc.

Then again, this entire episode of going to a dinner with your friends seems to be leading up to something but then you leave it. Was there a reason you mentioned the outing? Did something significant happen there? Did we meet someone we need to remember later? You have only one friend saying one thing to you - if you want these friends to be characters you might consider developing them a little more.

As a Christian myself, since I assume you are trying to present the gospel, I'd like to see Jesus spoken of more clearly. Jesus is the One who takes our burdens, and it is through accepting Christ as our personal saviour that we find new life in Him. No one can pray for you and grant you forgiveness, it is something you must accept for yourself. Now, I assume that in your experience you made that decision yourself to follow Christ, butyour presentation of that experience does not make it clear. It sounds more like the person who prayed bestowed salvation upon you whether you wanted it or not. Know what I mean? I assume that's not your intention, I just wanted you to know how it came across.

:)

I do hope that you can spare a moment to look at my book as well.

Thank you,

Sherry

This is going to sound harsh, but I just read this as it was top of the weekly highest rated, and I'm sorry, but it's not really very good. I'm sure the story is both heartbreaking and important to you, but that doesn't mean it's a good book. I read 3 chapters, and I couldn't do any more. There are some very basic punctuation errors (believe me, they must be basic if I noticed), the writing style is uninteresting, and honestly it's just all pretty amateur. Nowhere near publishable. Anyone who rated this highly must be mad.

backed with pleasure.

Happy to back this - the idea that this is true makes it all the more compelling. On my shelf for talented writing and a unique theme! Well done.

x

Very interesting story, backed with pleasure.

Stunning book, very well conceived, highly recommended.

Hi Ruth, Firstly well done for willing to put your story out there for the world to read! I really enjoyed this book, its not too long which keeps it flowing from one chapter to the next and helps keep the sense of drama alive. I see that other people have thought the same so I won't go on too long other than to say I've backed the book with pleasure.

I read the first eight chapters. This books reads amazingly well, keeping the reader attached with its simple and compelling style. Nice work!

Might I offer some constructive criticism? I noted that in the first chapter you mention dreaming about being a journalist. In the second chapter, you dream about being a doctor. How did the transformation take place? Or was the dream about being a journalist just a passing fancy? Also -- while reading the first 5 chapters or so -- I kept wandering where your brother was and what he was up to. How/why had he abandoned you? I think that this is something that most readers will be wondering about.

Good luck.

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Great read, backed with pleasure.

I didn’t think that I would enjoy this, as it’s not really ‘my thing’. But it blew me away, I love your writing style, It tells the reader all they need to know with out making you cringe the way some books can!

This is a story that will touch many, as it covers issues that affect so many people today. It is current and relevant for today which makes this story all the better. There are social lessons to be learned, from all sides in reading this. You would expect to see this kind of story as a front page hit on any of the best selling magazines today. I would definitely want a copy when published!!! Star rated!!

Wow, I couldn’t put this book down. I read until my eyes wouldn’t stay awake any longer, and then continued first thing in the morning! Great read backed with pleasure.

Very touching; I haven't read that far but I can already see that this is a very special story. I'm glad to know that this has a happy ending, so glad to know that you pulled through and now have the courage to spread your story out so that people can truly benefit from it.

All the best & good luck with your novel, you have my support.

Ruth, Thanks for sharing all of this--what God has done in your life! I understand what people are saying in other comments about "showing rather than telling" the story but I will say that in this case, for me, I really liked the pace and style of your writing. I didn't have trouble picturing what was going on. You managed to pack a lot of content in while still moving along at a fast pace--I think that is an accomplishment. Your openness about everything that has happened really brought things to life and I also appreciated how God's involvement in your story came across so well.

I also saw 4 or 5 spots where something happened with the formatting, or a comma was needed or not needed--mostly inconsequential. You might want to check out ch7 (Open wounds)--the sentence beginning: "As a result our relationship . . ." It got jumbled up somehow it seems.

Thanks again. I didn't intend to read the whole thing but I did anyway. God bless!

Colin C.

A New Day
Non-fiction, 1st person
First, let me congratulate you on your presentation of a first person memoir. It is very difficult to avoid the "I Trap". Good job.
As for the premise of your book, I think it's excellent. You've offered a genuine, touching story.
I did observe that there is a good deal of telling rather than showing in this book. Because of the nature of the story, I don't think that is bad, it's just an observation.
Usually, showing is more compelling. But I think your work is engaging none-the-less and many readers will identify with it.
I didn't notice any mechanical issues. Good job.
The pacing is a little slow, probably because of the telling vs. showing. But it is a thoughtful piece and nicely done.
Raechel
Echo

Hi Ruth, have read your opening chapters (1-3) and think that yours is a story that will speak to many. I liked it so much I would like more specifics - what did it feel like to arrive home when your mother had left your father? What did it sound like (what sounds were missing if she wasn't there?)? how did it feel to stand there listening for her? Also, details like why were you shunned by the church? how did it start? what did they do? It's a very powerful story but that only means I want more of it! Regards, Kerry M (Her Soul To Keep)

Hi Ruth Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you after your kind comments about my book. The site is still new and slightly overwhelming to me but I am glad I took the time to read your book. I too believe that God can move "mountains like depression, despair and pain" and yours is truly an inspiring testimony. Your character came across as truthful and vulnerable and your journey through the years kept me reading. At times I found myself thinking your story would be stronger if you changed your style of writing from pure narration to more 'in the moment' snipits of showing us a picture with dialogue and action etc. But I've never written a memoir kind of piece like this so maybe, with some editing and polishing, its a workable style for this type of tale. A New Day will take a turn on my shelf.

This is a very emotional and heartfelt story. its good that youve been able to express your grief through writing. your writing is concise and clear, and you have a lot to share. however, you might try showing more with your work. if you read through, you'll see that you're telling the reader, rather than setting the scene and SHOWING them. nearly all of the scenes have potential to be fleshed-out, with dialogue, with a play-by-play account of what really went on. this will make them vivid for the reader, so that they're not just being told an account, they're feeling and living the life that you know so much about. the real story is in the details-- the things which stand out in your mind as being visual, being tactile, speaking to you of certain times. for instance, there is no real description of places in spain, no real description of your friends and your times together, no real descriptions of anything in the story, besides your emotions, which are very well-captured. work on showing the reader the truth instead of telling it to them. this leaves them free to draw conclusions and infer things on their own. for instance, rather than saying that Gary and you had nothing together, you could set a scene where you and Gary are in the house, speaking impersonally, failing to connect. this will be much more meaningful to the reader. good luck! i think you have a lot to say and a polished voice. it might hurt to remember and set scenes with all the details, but it might prove good therapy. im watchlisting your book to be backed.

Ruth:

I admire your courage to tell this story. Like you (and many others) I've gone through my parents splitting up. They had 26 years in, 10 children, and I was all of 12. It was disruptive to say the least.

Your writing is good and interesting - I am going to back your book and come back to it later as it is a story I certainly can relate to.

Thanks.
John J Blenkush
Hell's Kettle
Rue T.he Day
The Dothorian Door

Hello Ruth: Congratulations on your story. My first observation is that you give quite a bit of background information right up front, and I wonder if you have considered starting at a high point with actions, drama, and hit hard with concrete details. Best wishes. FEL

Ruth:

I have read you dramatic and moving book. I think it is great and have rated it accordingly. You deep open faith in God is a great testimony. If i can help in the future, please let me know.

D. Earl Cripe, PhD

Ruth, I read the first two chapters. With lots of potential in 'A New Day', there's lots to do. You definitely have a story masses would care about. In my country people say that paper will bear all the pain. So you keep writing and let as much of your pain out as you can. Good luck with your book :)

Ivan
The Beholder

I would have liked to see some kind of story about you and your Mum's relationship before all this. I think that would build on the drama that happens in Chapter 2. You do mention that you and your Mum were close, but what did that look like? A preface (or something of that nature) about this would be really nice. I think that the first chapter read really good, as far as grammar. It was done really nice. It might do you good to look carefully back over your files and read them out loud. Also, a professional editorial review would be helpful to help with the grammar. Also, the font was a little difficult to read. Other than that I think it was a good story. We need to hear about Jesus' work in this world.

Here are some elements of critique. I hope it helps:

Chapter 1: Third paragraph from end, second sentence needs a comma after "for a minute there" in order to close the quote properly.

Chapter 2: Is Steven your brother? If so, the sentence starting with "Over the course of that year" might sound better ending with "one another, my brother Steven, and me." At this point in the story I don't know who Steven is, so I'm left to assume he's your brother. Also, there might need to be some commas at the end of that sentence even if you don't add the words "my brother" so that you don't have to use the word "and" as much.

A period is missing at the end of the sentence in quotations that ends with "Your parents are so happy together."

The sentence "I was only sixteen, unworldly and I did not really understand about relationships" seems to be incomplete. There's an idea expressed in this sentence, but it's not fully expressed. You didn't understand what about relationships? About how they worked in real life? About love relationships? Or is it that you did not really understand MUCH about relationships? Does that make sense?

You could probably replace many of the semi colons and colons you use with a period and just make a new sentence. I tried to read it that way and it seems to work fine. I only suggest this because otherwise some of the sentences seem very long.

Sentence: "Why, was this happening?" —does not need a comma after the word "Why"

Sentence beginning with "They got things wrong" needs a period at the end, rather than an question mark

"Here I was aged sixteen" —should be just "age"

"There will be a child crying . . . looking for their lost parent." You speak singularly about "a child" then you speak plurally about "their lost parent." Rule of thumb is keep the singular & plural consistent in a sentence, i.e. "it's lost parent."

"Of her own free she will had got up and left me." — fix word structure "free she will" should be "free will she"

"I had not expected her actually to leave me" — Suggestion: "her TO actually leave me."

The end of this paragraph is great! I love how you add that last sentence in about her taking Steven with her. That really leaves the reader in suspense wanting to read more. Good job with that.

Chapter 3: Consider reconstructing the very first sentence. It just reads a little odd. Example: "I realized this was not a bad dream . . ."

Second sentence might not need the third "I" in it. When I read it out loud it makes sense to cut the third "I."

I'm not sure I understand this sentence: "All this meant that and it was a struggle for me to get myself to college."

"He was, consumed with the loss of my mother . . ." —consider reconstructing this sentence, possibly breaking it up into two sentences so that the ideas expressed in it can be clearly understood. There's a lot of commas that can be avoided with more than one sentence.

Sentence beginning with "No matter how bad . . ." is incomplete.

Sentence ending with "I would say 'Fine'" needs a period.

"how messed up my family were" — "were" should be "was"

By the end of chapter 3 I feel like there should be some kind of time length. How long had it been up until now? It would be great to include that in your past paragraph. "It's been ____ and . . ." I think that would increase the interest and engagement of the reader.

I think you have an amazing testimony here of how God made everything work for your good. You know the passage? "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose," (Rom. 8:28, ESV). That's what this story reminds me of—how God made it all work out for your good, that is, for your salvation, redemption, restoration, and joy. It's amazing how you express your journey from thinking everything is good in life, oblivious to possible dread, then going to despair. From thoughts of suicide, to feeling at the end of the road, your rise to freedom was through the Holy Spirit's work. Praise God!

Thanks for sharing your story,
Jonathan, THINC About It: Attending to Christ in Scripture.

This was an enjoyable read for me and I'll be putting this on my shelf in a week.

Hi

I enjoyed reading your book as I have had similar experiences but I found the religious aspect a little overwhelming. I think it is well written with a great deal of your soul embedded in it.

kim

A NEW DAY

Dear Ruth,
This book has a heart and soul. The writing compels, the story true to life.
It deserves full marks and many readers.
A Zoomer

Hi,

I am always keen to exchange reads and I must admit I was a little wary because Biographies aren't usually my thing, but I found myself being absorbed in this as a story. The writing is more straightforward than my style but the honesty and emotion really shines through. Thank you for reading my book, I have star rated yours and will be sure to add it to my shelf when some space frees up.

Alex

Ruth,
There are no pretensions in "A New Day," and I feel you speaking straight from the heart because of the effect of your prose on me. There is an economy of words that I admire and a beautiful simplicity that makes your narrative appealing to those who like a story unimpeded by distractivng flourishes. Your honesty cuts to the chase, making the read time well spent. Thank you. You get the stars you so well deserve.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Hi Ruth...i'm back and have continued to read truly compelling ...will place on shelf shortly.. good luck!

You have an easy going style to your writing that I like. I'm not far enough into the story to give you any major feedback...good so far!

Cheers,
Dwayne

Ruth, I am enjoying your work so far and I am beginning to feel her sense of loss at her parent's separation. The only suggestion I have it that you consider revising the use of the passive voice. For example instead of saying 'disaster was looming' try saying 'disaster loomed'... Just a thought. God bless your efforts. I have starred it and placed it on my shelf. GREAT work. Will keep reading.