In The Red

Hi, Carlie Lee,

When things get too heavy on Authonomy, I check out the Chick-Lit (Chicklettes) and In the Red comes through with flying colors. I agree,a perfect light read. The Throwaway Generation might want to hold on to this.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

I'm enjoying the story. The change from first to third person threw me off, so I didn't get into ch. 4 but really liked everything until then. The friendship between Kate and Suze felt real, as did the all the dialogue. I can certainly relate to not wanting to be left alone with babies ( I think most mothers can!) and overall your writing feels real. I'm interested to see where this goes. Good luck!
Shannon

Your blurb definitely caught my attention (yeah, I'm a guy who reads and writes women's fiction). I'm adding this to my watchlist and hope to get to it within a few days. I just noticed it says your book was uploaded back in May, but for whatever reason this is the first time I've come across it.

Robb

Not bad. The inept mommy bits seemed a bit more sad than funny, but the opening scene at the wedding was easy to picture and an excellant opening. You may want to reconsider your classification. Calling something with obscene language and drug references "universal" is likely to offend someone.

Hi Carlie, weddings are really hard to write and I think you nailed it. Like the snappy dialogue and your descriptions. Are you posting anymore? Cheers, Heather

I love chick lit and I enjoyed reading this. I think the dialogue is very well written and I laughed at the 'lying on the grass' bit.

Carlie - seems pretty superior chick-lit to me! I'm hooked by the first chap. Thought the sobering effect of Suze's words & then again between Kate & Jack believable and realistic. Write on! - or upload more!

Carlie, I'm surprised Cooper's Riders is on your list of favourite books - for my tastes Rivals is the finer masterpiece, but then perhaps I am overly sentimental (referring of course to the redemption of Campbell-Black - swine that he is).

Chapter 2 is good too. I don't know, it feels like a tired story, but you make it fresh. I'm not normally so complentary by the way. You end your chapters well, you make us want to read on. Thirty does seem kind of young though for these crises, at least in this day and age. I hardly know anyone who married before 30. Perhaps that is just me. Anyway, I shall read on later.

"post-partum baby fat swirling" - yup, two lines in and I'm hooked.

"S'at you?" - I had to stop and thing about that for a second. I know what you mean, but I'm not sure it quite works written this way. Anything that makes you stop, especially so early on, is a bit dangerous.

"Someone had brailed the tent" - Not sure I get that. Again, if you have to stop and think for too long... You also use it again "brailled side of the tent"

"Pupils were pinpricks" - surely they were the opposite? Nothing I've ever heard of makes them smaller - except bright sunlight of course.

"Jess'" - should it not be Jess's? Jess isn't a plural.

And there were a few gaps in the narrative, paragraphs gaps, which were probably just authonomy loading glitches, but aren't necessary if they weren't.

Otherwise.... this is very very good. Is it chicklit? Probably, but it is also real. I was at the wedding, it's every wedding I've ever been too. And your dialogue was spot on. No exposition; I know these characters.

Well done. Best back this.

A great read the dialogue very real and so is the wedding really enjoyed your writing style humourous &realistic look forward to reading on. Good luck

I would have liked to have liked Kate more initially as I struggled to keep sympathy with her - but then liking characters is subjective anyway. It 's nicely written and I suspect the more I read the more I'll settle in to it, as is often the case with chick lit. As Debbie says, it does what it says on the tin.

Very good. Very chick-lit. Does what it says on the tin! Good stuff.

I agree! Carlie- is this a finished project or ongoing? That last flashback chapter was quite a shocker- do you have any idea where it's going to appear in the final story yet? Will there be more glances into Kate and Jack's past?

Kate’s best friend tells her she doesn’t know how lucky she is (myself, I doubt whether anyone with the builders in can be said to be totally fortunate) but when her credit card unaccountably fails to work her cosy life begins to unravel.

I want to know what happens next – how bad will things get for Kate?

More, Carlie, more.