American Sycamore

Superb writing. I was jealous.

hi katie thanks so much for your wonderful comments! i haven't been on authonomy in a while as i'm rewriting the m/s -- and it's not going so well -- so your message is a real spark today. thanks, i needed this. k x

i love the rhythm of this. it's really good. original. vivid. i have only read your first chapter, so i can't speak to plot, but you've got me hooked. i'll be back for more.

the only change i'd make to your pitch is to replace 'the sister' with the name of your mc. --- tries to unravel...

i loved your first line and so many that follow. it's great to read something with such a fresh, unique set of observations. pissing on crabs. one pillow for two heads. whittling a pelican. glassless glasses.

nits:
her head WAS wound
he said. *QUOTE* If....

would you like me to add your book to this reading list? http://www.authonomy.com/forums/threads/77048/reading-list-for-literary-fiction/

http://www.authonomy.com/forums/threads/77737/it-s-novella-week/?pagenumber=9

"You also make me think that books are rivers and we go fishing in them" ...Orlando -- if anybody has sensibility and can write it's YOU...listen i did have an agent for AS and they dumped me because nobody (in the USA) wld publish it as it wasn't "commercial enough" not "plot-driven" enough -- and it does get boring from about page 60 -- so i'm trying to revise from that point without comprising language and style. thanks for your amazing comments and insight k x

YELLOW BREECHES CREEK
Someone said to me earlier today that we have to make compromises, to fit in with the world's mad greed to be fed action, more action, now, more, faster. And that not obliging the world and its agents wld lead to doom and creative oblivion.

But I am not of that opinion. My view is that writers, the best writers, stand apart from the mad world with their work a sort of pivot which turns the world to view things through their eyes and not the other way around. Such writers are the best because they do not compromise their art and what they receive from it. And, eventually, the world comes to see things their way because beauty will always win as Nature love beauty best of all.

I don't see anything wrong with your impressionistic structure at all. It is not conventional perhaps, agreed. But that is absolutely its strong point, the thing which sets it apart and makes it interesting. Your prose is a very delicate dabestry (new word). I love the poetic dabs and wld not unpick it. It wld be wrong. There is great merit in a long bit a short bit a long bit. I like that. Any agent who thinks a chapter should be N,000 words long is an idiot and should be punched.

There is great delicacy in the development in this chapter. The river is clearly as much a character as the humans. The details about the pockes, the flies and the doting sisters all make a lovely whole. We, me anyway, want to know more about them. Your prose skips along happily and takes us with it. There are glinty bits in the silt it washes along.

Billy is exceptionally observant, especially in those closing graphs. He takes his time and he sees and feels. This is what your book will do for your reader.

You also make me think that books are rivers and we go fishing in them. Some have no idea about or feel for fishing and have no patience or skill for it. That is because -- as I was told earlier -- they want their hit now, now, now. Readers like that are as foolish as 'fishermen' who lob grenades into the water. And I've seen many writers trying to please such readers ... they have explosive chapters with rape and violence but absolutely no subtlety and no beauty. Such brutalised writers entirely miss the point of writing. Perhaps they will get into print, but they will swiftly be in the remainder bin.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with structure here. I have no problem whatsoever with these bite size chapters. Only the world of commerce wants everything neatly packaged and recognisable. I think we should resist this homogonising tendancy. Your style is that of a impressionist painter. It is also spare and very athletic in its economy. But I wldn't expect an agent to spot these merits as all they will be thinking about is the box it comes in. Sigh.

ABOUT BEFORE
Very strong. Beautiful dabs. Poem like in its intense focus. Yes, it's short, but the hit of wisdom and truth is nourishing. Rivers are indeed emotinve and of great significance to us. Reading this reminded me of a dab in CANNARY ROW where the frog river is described as '...all a river should be...' which has always stuck in my mind. My own rivers are three: The Lune in NW England. The Thames in London where I work and The Ver, a delighttul chalk stream.

Prologue
This is quirky and promises difference. I've been looking for something new and decent to read here and have been mostly disappointed.

I wld drop the first graph and I found the repeitions of 'I call it a river' a bit too noticable, though i often repeat myself. Reading that repetition made me think that I will be very careful about that in future.

I felt sorry for the poor pissed on crabs and I thought that the guy with no glass in his glasses was ludicrous. This of course was a knee jerk reaction and I was simultaneously listening to what he might see that I do not.

The notion of watching is close to my own heart and my own story is about watching and flight. So I read Roots with this attitude, 'You are an idiot. Prove me wrong. Your go.'

This might sound aggressive and I suppose it is. But it's how I read. I need a fight. If I don't get a fight I get bored. If your Roots can put up a good fight, duck and weave cunningly I will be happy. The moment I think I've solved him I will be bored and stop reading.

I live in London so reading about a far off place in some swamp has great escapist potential. I might learn something, though what use it may be to me I don't know. Ach, I feel sorry for the crabs!

Am I the sort or reader you want?

American Sycamore - No need to read past the prologue to know this belonged on my shelf, but now I'm hooked and must read on. I'll return with credible comments after if I see anything I think might be worth a mention.
G.
Einstein's Road Trip ( I would like to see your take on Einstein, offbeat magical realism, when your time allows. Thanks.)

Dear Karen, Thanks so much for backing "The Doctor of Summitville" and for your complimentary message. Rereading your pitch--the line about the brother's puzzling death--I realize I was off base in my remark about the lack of a story. But you might consider inserting some flashes of memory (not saying too much) to let us know there's a mystery ahead. I believe it would work with your subjective style. In any case, "American Sycamore" is well told, and I'd like to read more. --Truly, Bill

Dear Bill, I simply loved your comments on "American Sycamore". A must read for bipolars -- it doesn't get better than that. Thank you so much and I am going to have a read of "The Doctor of Summitville" ps. my grandparents lived in sarasota -- they are gone now, but i still love the history of the place -- how the barnum circus used to winter there k x

Dear Karen, While reading nineteen chapters of "American Sycamore," I kept trying to find the story, but discovered that what pulled me on was the absence of one. This is a potpourri of tragicomic vignettes peopled by fascinating characters, maybe real, maybe born of a fertile addled brain. It's a must-read for bipolars who need to escape the depths and soar. It ranges from obscene to celestial, from grave to hilarious, giving life to a Rastafarian beachcomber, a mischievous monkey, a perverted German doctor, and sundry others. I loved it and don't know why. Readers will be drawn to the Americana of the title and will find something they didn't expect--but won't be disappointed. And maybe they'll even find the story in chapters to come. On my shelf tonight.

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

dear old bob, thx for the stars and the WL i will have a look at "a place in the sun" and report back k x

Karen, I love your prologue. It's pure and simple and so descriptive I feel I'm there. You have a great start on your character development and as soon as I have a chance, I'm going to read more. I put your book on my WL and starred it.

If you have a chance, could you take a look at a chapter or two of my book, A PLACE IN LIFE? I'd appreciate your first impression.

Thanks.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Have 6 starred this and added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+3) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Check our comments trail if u want to confirm this and do feel free to chase at ANY TIME to know exactly how long till ur going up...

I like this. I find the language smooth and the writing elegant, and I appreciate the symbolism scattered throughout. The style is reminiscent of As I Lay Dying and Grapes of Wrath as it explores the beauty of the landscape and the complexity of the characters, and I enjoy the setting as it alludes to the adventures of Huck Finn--all adventures take place around a river. Your pacing is excellent and your writing is dynamic and captures the reader. I especially like the introspective focus and the mix of other perspectives into a collective narration. You've done an excellent job crafting this, and I'll watch it until I can back it. Best of luck with your literary endeavors!

The plot is intricately woven and I particularly appreciated the use of language. Well regarded and high stars
Lara
GOOD FOR HIM
also on Good for her avatar
A FEAST OF TALES

hi chris thanks so much for backing american sycamore k x

dear john thanks so much for your incredible comments re: american sycamore. pleased you could get into it. if it gets published i'll send you a copy. k x

Glad I found this piece of beautiful writing. Dipped in and out of this river flow and enjoyed each piece of the puzzle. Ain't sure what caused the untimely death or what the family secret might be, just enjoying bathing in the flow and eddies of wonderful images and great story telling. I want to take my time and enjoy finding the secrets and the something that has never been lost when this come into print. Because it should, and soon. Keep me posted, I'd like a copy.

John

hi jedward -- thanks so much for your great comments regarding american sycamore will have a look at your work too...might not get to it till next week -- am in the italian alps in a bar using their wifi and there's a line for the computer k x

Karen,
This reminds me of Annie Proulx and Alice Munro. You are confident and ambitious. I thought the opening was terrific – very brave. I love the way you interweave elements of history and the surreal into this tale and manage to keep a reader focussed on a through line in the writing. I’ve read the first six chapters and will comment again when I manage to find the time to read more. Good luck with this.
GEFordson.
Nothing you can do.

I can't find the words to express my admiration of this work. It is magical and wondrous. It captivates me. I become lost in its world. Very best of luck with this book. Backed. Jedward (Knut)

This is beautiful writing Karen. As I lay dying, and The Sound and the Fury by Faulkner come to mind for comparisons, or the Orchard Keeper by Cormac McCarthy. That was his first novel so if this is yours you are in good company.
I’ll point out a few lines that stand out as I read as I really appreciate when others do that for me!
‘round wire glasses, pushed up tight and no-nonsense’ perfect image.
‘there was one pillow for two heads’ nice expression of poverty or humble living conditions.
‘he had removed his braces with a wrench’ this makes me immediately like Billy.
The same reaction for the shoplifted lighter. Love it.
I think it would be more perfect not to offer translation of the Spanish, it creates mystery, although I like the way you’ve done it, providing the English a few lines down rather than directly after the quote.

I find this writing confident and I trust it to take me somewhere. I love the little mystery’s and insights, or fantastic and impossible things, like the pelican flying away, the cryptic statements by characters. There’s a nice even balance between dialogue and narration. I’ve only read the first three sections and will be back for more. Gladly backed and rated.

Ardin

I love a story that winds its way. It keeps pace mind you, but invokes little snatches of life to propel the narrative. Richly detailed. Very nicely done.

Jedah Mayberry
- Slow Train Comin'

hi frankisbald thank you so much for backing american sycamore -- am really grateful. kx

karen great writing fantastic storyline backed.

Really enjoyed the writing. Backed and shelved.

I like the pace and the richness of the descriptions in this book, it makes for effortless reading, rife with heartfelt emotion and the uncertainty brought on by predicament. Very well written and wonderfully paced, very much a cut above the average novel.

Backed with my compliments on a fine piece of work, best of luck.

Jack

I've read this book - it reminds me of "Catcher in the Rye" and I believe it has great potential.

This has a truly memorable beauty. The writing itself is fabulous – never a cliché or a wasted word. And the book quickly seemed to me to have penetrating lucid vision, the fruit of an imagination cranked up to its full power. There’s a sense of the individual struggling against the natural world. Of elusive reconcilations glimpsed there that modern urban life has alienated us from and turned hostile. That necessitate a looking back, a meeting with the landscape’s ghosts. And I love how you’ve made time many-layered. It’s never just Now. Every moment has a history. Unfortunately you locked this just as I was about to read chapter four. But this is a six star book for me. Huge thumbs up.

Unusual and beautifully written. The story draws me in and i will continue. What a fantastic opening
andy and vesna
When Spirits Break Free and In Search of the Displaced Persons

Backed. Saffina.

http://www.saffinadesforges.com

Great, great writing. Love the opening. Can't wait to read more.

I love this. Very unusual tone to the writing - quirky and offbeat - just what I like. It has a magic realism to it as well, so you never know quite what will happen next, and a quality of just looking and seeing whatever nuttiness comes along. Really like this and have it on my watchlist to read. Will comment properly when I've got further than chapter one.

Did you mean to say 'hair bleached hair' by the way, when you describe Roots?
Cariad
STONES.

This is a beautiful piece of writing, very engaging, it flows like the river! Your characters are wonderful and so well defined. I love your descriptions of the river, nature and the events, past, present and future.
I really enjoyed what I read
Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Karen...........Great writing--lively, well-paced, and engaging. Backed with best wishes..........Frank

Hi Karen, I have only read a page or two but enough to know that I am going to enjoy reading this. It's rare to hear, with such clarity, the pitch and intonation, the essence in fact, of the novel. Loved your colourful description of Eunice catching crabs by the water's edge. Beautiful, just beautiful. I shall read on and comment after a chapter or so.

Mary.

Hello Karen
very lively story, I like it a lottttttttttttttttt.
thanks for sharing it

hi andy thanks so much for backing american sycamore! you are so right i sure don't want that x2. Crier of Kathmandu goes on my shelf as soon as there's a space k x

Hi Karen, fine prose. poetic yet possessing a strong narrative thrust. wonderfully rendered characters. starred and on my shelf.
saw a tiny possible edit: "His beached skin, his hair bleached hair ..." - did you want "hair" twice?
very best, andy

Absolutely beautiful, an engaging and enchanting read with (I thought) a touch of gentleness about it. I love your writing and am so pleased to have discovered this. A delight to read. Thank you.

hi greg, thx so much! -- i probably know you or six degrees of people -- beaufort farms ring any bells? Just off linglestown road? your favorite book's list contains many titles i adore. am going to read your book with pleasure k x

Fantastic read. And thanks for the nostalgia -- I grew up near the banks of the Susquehanna. (Near Harrisburg, PA.) Backed with pleasure.

American Sycamore is charming and entertaining read. Your pitches contain that often talked about "wow" factor, and it certainly makes readers want to read more.

Your writing and your storrytelling skills are enviable. I found a few technical faults, but they are not significant enough to keep me from backing this nicely-crafted story.

Rodney Battles
NEW ATTITUDES

winnie thank you so much for backing American Sycamore I loved your comments -- and I love your book A Summit of Tumultuous Winds -- which i've starred with pleasure and watch-listed will go on shelf when a space is available. Meanwhile, in your pitch -- to grab all the readers who i think would appreciate and admire your voice could you perhaps say your line: A kung fu fantasy fable based on a quasi-historical Chinese empire. Make it bold to replace where you have... if you want drama, if you want tragedy -- take that bit out and replace with what the book is about. I never say anything but i feel like it might be helpful. Hope i haven't overstepped the bounds. yikes. k. x

Very magically whimsical and surprising, this first chapter. The descriptions are vivid and beautiful in the early paragraphs., and the dialogue is strangely lovely. The truth-nonsense reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, in a good way. The pitch is really intriguing; I wanted to take a look at the story after reading it.

Karen - Wonderfully quirky stuff here, whimsical even. I read quickly on the fly and skimmed through 5-6 chapters and enjoyed what I read. The story around the river reminded me of Huck Finn and Three Men in a Boat, has a few Guy Ritchie genre notes, and yet it is so different.
Your short pitch is a killer. It pulled me in instantaneously.
I like the easy going rhythm of your writing style. It grew on me. It's more like a hearty rum than like a good wine - good in it's own unique way. The key question you may have to wrestle with is trying to understand a publisher's dilemma marketing this story. The difference is between an entertaining free read and a story an audience will pay $10 for.

I try to avoid giving feedback on sentence structure and grammar unless it is truly appalling and hinders simple reading. None of those issues here.
Backed with pleasure. Starred.

What I liked best of all here, apart from the delicious quirky humour that came up with Herpes I and Herpes II, is the beautiful voice that runs through the whole. I can hear that soft lazy voice with its destinctive accent telling me these wonderful tales.
Sitr this with the most wonderful sense of place and the combination is pure pleasure.